Daria: "Switch"
by damaged justice (frogfarm@fatchicksinpartyhats.com)

[Note: I timed this myself, starting just before the music kicks in
and speaking the parts at a normal pace for both characters, with a
shorter than usual pause to show the URL (if you're familiar with
the format of these particular commercials), and it works fairly
well. You can download the music with no voiceover at

http://www.ellenfeiss.net/music/switch.mp3

Disclaimer: I refuse to get involved in computer wars. They're just
stupid. Hopefully, someone besides me will find this funny.]

**

<Fade in on white background, with DARIA and JANE front and center
shown from about mid-leg up. JANE is wearing blue jeans, a grey
sweatshirt with hood, and a green T-shirt [1], while DARIA is wearing
a "BSD Daemon Girl" red latex suit with matching pitchfork [2], looking
bound and determined not to let her annoyance show too much.>

Jane: We've never allowed ourselves to serve as corporate shills.

Daria: Unless you count the stomping grounds of Satan which spawned us.

Jane: But we can't in good conscience endorse anything but a Mac with
OS Ten. It's a computer you can use --

Daria: Instead of having it use you.

Jane: A gorgeous interface --

Daria: With the power of Unix under the hood.

Jane: And no Digital Restrictions like those beige boxen. [3]

Daria: I'll strangle her later for using that word.

Jane: 'Beige'?

Daria: Are we done yet?

<white background with URL>
www.apple.com/switch/

<Return. Camera pulls back to encompass Trent filming them with a 
digicorder,
wearing his usual laid-back grin.>

Jane: Smile, and I'll erase it while he sleeps.
Daria <through gritted teeth>: I wouldn't sleep if *I* were you.

**

[1] http://www.ellenfeiss.net/fashion.html
[2] http://people.freebsd.org/~jkh/lw2000/daemonbabe.jpg for a good 
example.
[3] http://newsforge.com/article.pl?sid=02/10/21/1449250