Episode 1:

‘Critical Mass’

A Fanfic by DJW, all Daria Characters are © of MTV, Viacom and…what the hell you all know how this goes, the show belongs to who it belongs to, same with the characters except mine…they belong to me.

Critical Mass

Daria gets an unexpected ‘gift’ from Aunt Amy, Tom transfers to Lawndale along with a few familiar faces, Jane has an unexpected development, the Fashion Club get ‘upgraded’, the pizza boy goes on a rampage, Principal Li plots world domination, and this is just the first episode!

…………………………………………………………….

“What did you do to this car Tom?”

“Nothing Grandma…” Tom replied, he knew it was futile lying but it was worth a shot…

“Well whatever that nothing was it certainly scuppered the Vernier thrusters…”

“OK I crashed it into the school trying to avoid being late…” he knew there always would be that risk when trying to parallel park a 12ft tall mechanical engine of destruction…but it was still cool the way school bulged before exploding.

“So that’s why you’re transferring to Lawndale High?” His grandma replied as she ventured back into the remains of the car, “I’m beginning to question my logic of letting you have control of this mecha if you insist on being so reckless with it…”

“Sorry Grandma, I won’t do it again” Tom replied as he scratched the back of his head…not mentioning to his Grandma the fact that she never used logic, mad scientists rarely did.

“Oh don’t let me stop you…I just wanted to upgrade this baby, I reckon I can get ‘Steel Jaguar God Battle Oxidiser X’ to do twice as much collateral in half as much time, also with the new spatial folding system I was able to give it a more stylish appearance.”

Tom stared at his grandmother for a while before shrugging “Whatever floats your boat Grandma…although does the activation code have to be so long? The reason I crashed the thing was because I couldn’t say it in time.”

“Oh if you must, I’ll set it to just ‘Go Oxidiser X’ although I think it takes a little away from the flair” with that she paused and took a watch out of her pocket “and if your serious about this hero lark you may need this” and with that she threw the watch,

“What is it?”

“A costume, don’t worry about it, it works on the same spatial folding system as this baby…” then noticeably quieter “Only on your clothes and flesh.”

“Well it seems like a good idea, and it will give me something to do,” he put on the watch and pressed the button on the side, there was a brief shine and the next moment he was wearing a silver-white & cyan body suit bearing the Oxidiser X logo, his eyes had the usual display visor and mouthpiece and holstered at his sides where a pair of what looked like pistols, finally in a sign of his grandmas sense of humour a pair of trainers in the colour where on his feet, “nice, and this way I can keep the car away from Mom and Dad if they try and have this one towed.”

“Ah yes the old Pinto, rather a shame really, I finally manage to install a working mech-forming matrix prototype without the damned thing exploding and they go and have it towed…especially as I forgot to add the security sub-routines, still I’ll bet whoever buys it will be in for a surprise.”

“Yeah I guess you’re………WHAT?”

In another part of Lawndale, Artie the pizza boy proudly held the keys to his new car.

…………………………………………………………….

“Daria sweetie, there’s a package here for you” Helen shouted up the stairs.

“Oh joy” Daria replied in a voice devoid of joy and anything else, “Maybe it’s my letter of induction into a secret ideological organisation intent on conquering the city?” She then ducked the spray of coffee that emanated from her fathers mouth

“WHAT?”

“Joking dad, huh the package is from Aunt Amy”

Daria escaped to her room while her mother was left to calm her hysterical father…and when that failed she smashed him over the head with the mallet she kept for just such a purpose.

Looking at the package Daria found a V shaped pendant along with a letter from her Aunt Amy, it looked like it had been written in a hurry and said the following;

Daria

I need you to look after this for safekeeping, I have to go away for a while and you are the most level-headed person I know, things may be a bit unusual in the coming days but I’m sure you will deal with them rationally no matter what, there may be a risk to you but this pendant shall protect you…although don’t be surprised when you first put it on.

Lastly if any government agents ask, you haven’t seen me.

Everything is going to reach critical mass soon

Love Aunt Amy.

Looking at the letter confused she then held the pendant in her hand and examined it, it was a simple metal V on a string, lightly inscribed on the edge was the word ‘Vexer’

“Curioser and Curioser” she said to herself as she put the pendant on, thinking about Amy’s letter, “This is no doubt some strange idea of a joke” she thought as she looked at the pendant in the mirror,

“There is no way this can be…”

She stopped when the pendant began to shine; the sight of the metal V expanding and ‘exploding’ into a series of black cables that entwined themselves around her was all she saw before losing consciousness.

When she recovered she felt surprisingly ok…better than ok even, getting to her feet she noticed that she had a tingling feeling all over her body, like a leg that is only starting to fall asleep, she put a hand to her head and then pulled it back in surprise,

Looking at her hand she saw it was encased in a black material with white-grey metal plates forming a glove, turning in shock to look in the mirror she saw how it was not just her hand that was affected.

Every part of her body from below the neck was covered in the same almost organic feeling material, however most of this was covered in metal-looking plates of armour, her chest was covered in orange plating whereas the rest of her upper body was covered in green plating, her hands both had the white-grey gloves and the forearms each had a 5-6 inch spiked blade growing near the elbow, her left shoulder had a yellow sun symbol that was the same colour as the 3 orbs in her wrists and waist, the lower body was nearly entirely black or very dark grey with the exception of a panel on her left hip which was bright red, her feet where covered in attached boots with heels that made her several inches taller, on her back was what looked like a sword of some sort and over her eyes a green crescent shaped visor covered her face (although she did not see in a green tint to her surprise) which a single black V protruded from and vanished over her hair, another V which she guessed used to be the pendant was embedded above the chest.

She stared in surprise for a while before resting her hand on her hip and beginning to show a faint smile,

“Well now…this is a fascinating development.”

…………………………………………………………….

“And Daria thinks she has eye problems” Jane lane said as she looked in the mirror, there was no denying it, people would notice.

“I suppose I have no one to blame but myself” she thought to herself as she tried to comb her hair to obscure the problem, “This is what you get from taking ideas from strange books Trent gives you.”

As she put the book her brother had given her into her school bag she looked into the mirror again, sighing she went and redid her hair in the usual style,

“I suppose I shall have to grin and bear it, but I’m sure people will notice, I doubt I could pass it off as a fashion statement and there are going to be questions,” she felt like she was going to explode with annoyance before taking a breath “but its not like I can hide it”

After all, it wasn’t easy trying to conceal a third eye on your forehead.

…………………………………………………………….

“Well that’s the upgrades finished” Grandma Sloane said as she shut the hood of the car, “I’ve recalibrated the Particle Beam Cannon for more precision firing, added a full consignment of rust missiles, retuned the Vernier thrusters and…you have no idea what I mean do you?”

“Not one word”

“It makes stuff go boom better.”

“That’s all I needed to hear” Tom replied grinning as he got back in, “So about this prototype, your sure no one is going to activate it by accident?”

“I’m positive…more or less, unless someone says the password ‘My new skin’ we should be fine, and what are the odds of that happening?”

“In this town? A dead certainty” Tom replied, “But I gotta get to school, it’s my first day and I don’t want to be late or level it.”

“Just use the Vernier on its own then, I admire your talent for collateral but it does need a little control.”

Tom nodded as he drove out of the small facility on the edge of town his grandmother used for her experiments, when he was safely out on the open road he flicked the appropriate switches and next thing he knew he was tearing down the road in record time.

It was due to this that Artie nearly found himself run off the road, “Damn Aliens!” He shouted as he shook his fist, “it was bad enough when you tried to get me fired, now your trying to kill me as well, you took my flesh, what more do you want from me? What is the purpose of my new skin…”

Suddenly Lawndale became just a little more interesting.

…………………………………………………………….

“Daria you look different” Jake said as he looked at his daughter, “Have you done something with your hair?”

“Not really Dad” Daria replied “That’s just the concussion,” luckily she had somehow deactivated whatever the thing now attached to her was, it had all collapsed back into the V which had vanished under her skin in a somewhat unsettling moment, still it was better than walking into the kitchen in a full suit of god knows what.

As she headed for school the realisation of what happened finally hit her, her Aunt Amy had sent her what appeared to be an experimental and possibly stolen bio-weapon, which had grafted itself to her and was now inside of her body, most people would be just a little concerned at this, she figured she had either much better coping skills than previously thought or had just gone crazy.

{I can assure you that you are not crazy.}

She stopped dead in her tracks when she heard the voice, this would not have been a problem if she hadn’t been in the middle of the road, as what appeared to be a large truck was bearing down on her she suddenly found herself on top of the truck and back in the bio-armour.

{You may wish to be more careful in future.}

“OK who the hell are you?” She was more than a little confused and was not in a mood to be civil, especially to a voice in her head.

{I am the interface system AI for the Vexer suit you have integrated with.} The voice had a slightly electronic and possibly male monotone voice.

“Excuse me? I hardly understood a word of that.”

{That is unusual, I was under the impression Amy had sent me to the smart sister.} A sarcastic AI was the last thing Daria had decided she needed; {in layman’s terms I am the user interface for this, sort of like that paperclip only less annoying}

“That’s debatable, how about explaining what this thing in me is…you got a name?”

{Your Aunt had unfortunately taken to calling me Vyvian, although Vyv is tolerable, and in answer to your query, Amy has been working for the US government developing this bio-weapon using spatial folding technology, however she learned that the technology was stolen from a source that was familiar to her, she has decided that the government just cannot be trusted with this technology…actually she stated that she would not even trust the government with a pea-shooter.}

“So she sent it to me? Isn’t that a little irresponsible? Why not send it to someone who could keep it safe?”

{I believe her exact words where “that kid is going to need it more than I will the way things are going” in my personal opinion she is hinting that Lawndale is heading for a faeces and fan situation very soon. My advice is to just go on with your life as if this bio-weapon and me are not here unless needed.}

“As much as I would just love to, I think that will be a bit difficult, I have enough trouble with the voices in my head normally without the risk of them activating some sort of illegal government weapon, don’t take it personal but you got an off-switch?”

{Regrettably, the suit and myself are activated by the verbal command Vexer while thinking of activating it, whereas deactivation is done by merely thinking it.}

“Excellent, goodbye Vyv,” and with that she found herself back to normal, then she sighed,

“VEXER!”

{Back already?}

“Shut up and tell me how to get to school from the top of this truck.”

…………………………………………………………….

Jane had decided to head via Dega street to school seeing as most of its inhabitants wouldn’t be awake by then, she had managed to conceal her eye by closing it if she concentrated, albeit she found it rather strange feeling, it was even stranger how she didn’t have any trouble seeing in triplicate, she would like to know why the eye was red, you’d think she was a demon.

“No way would I be lucky enough for something that cool to have happened.”

As far as she had guessed that damn book had caused all this, Trent had said he had found it in the attic and had been using some of the stuff in it for song lyrics, then he had given it to her in case she got some ideas from it, most of it seemed to be some sort of gibberish language so instead she had read an understandable passage on expanding the mind which she expected to be some sort of meditation exercise that would have killed a few hours, next thing she knew she was the only person who could wink and blink at the same time.

Taking the book out her bag she looked at the cover again, it was bound in red leather and had a pair of yellow curved arrows making a circular pattern, opening it she looked at the gibberish and found that with her third eye open she could understand it perfectly,

“Bizarre” she thought to herself before reading out one of the passages,

“Power of the sun in the palm of my hand…”

Suddenly she had found her hand had developed what appeared to be a fireball forming in it, it began to grow until it had reached her elbow, and strangely enough it did not burn her arm or anything it touched,

“Interesting party trick…now how do I get rid of it?” Then she began to shake her hand trying to shake loose the fireball to no avail, looking in the book she found a phrase that could help,

“Burn Up”

At that the fireball began to feel warmer and had appeared to flare up, still not burning herself or her clothes, this time when she shook her hand it flew off and promptly caused a dumpster to combust.

“Hmm,” she thought as she looked at her hand, “Guess I can finally live out my dream of being a super-hero” looking at the various shops she spied out a clothes shop that had actually opened

“But first…a costume.”

…………………………………………………………….

Tom pulled into the Lawndale High car park thankfully without destroying it; he had about 10 minutes to spare before he had to start, he looked at the school before him, it wasn’t as impressive as Fielding…well before he had reduced it to a pile of rubble (2 schools in under a month, must be a new record he added) but as long as the teachers where as ‘interesting’ as he had heard it should be amusing.

“Welcome to my nightmare.”

Tom jumped slightly as he looked around to see Daria stood behind him, he could have sworn she wasn’t there a few seconds ago, almost like she came out of nowhere.

“Ah, Daria hey,” Tom looked around “Jane not accompanying you today?”

“Actually I ran into a little delay on my way so didn’t get to stop by her house” Daria replied, “Traffic problems, don’t ask. So yeah I don’t know where she is…ah speaking of the devil.”

The two turned to see Jane running up, she seemed out of breath and must have sprinted to make it, Tom couldn’t put his finger on it but she seemed a little different.

“Yo, sorry I’m late, I needed to make a few stops.”

“Where at?” Daria said looking at her friend’s forehead, “The tattoo parlour?”

“Wuh?”

“Well I have to agree there is something different about you.” Tom agreed, now also looking at her forehead, “is that a…”

“Hey what do you know I gotta run” Jane said quickly before running off to wherever she went.

“That was odd even by her standards,” Daria commented as they watched their retreating friend.

“Agreed, although I fear I must follow her lead, turns out I'm not the only newbie here and the Principal is planning on briefing us all in her office…pray for me.”

“You have my deepest sympathy.”

Tom laughed as he headed off to meet his fate.

Elsewhere in Lawndale a pizza place exploded.

…………………………………………………………….

Daria watched Tom head off to possibly certain doom, she was lucky to have made it this early, good thing the suit was able to manipulate gravity meaning she may not be able to fly but could still jump pretty good…although she could have done without Vyv giving direction so often, good thing she had shut him off before she landed behind Tom.

She then decided to track down Jane and get to lessons; this meant she failed to see the armoured police van as it pulled into the car park along with several other vehicles. She entered the school and paid no heed to the two figures being let out the van, she was well down the empty corridor by the time the two figures began to look at the school and laugh.

{Interesting.}

“AAAAH!” Daria yelled in the (thankfully still empty) corridor, composing herself she wished this disembodied voice had a face so she could stare at it, “Vyvian, correct me if I’m wrong please do, but I was under the impression that switching you off meant that you stayed off, not to be rude but I would appreciate some privacy in my own mind.”

{I would say I am sorry to disappoint you but I am programmed to tell the truth and so cannot} the voice replied {However you are correct in assuming that I go into standby on a permanent basis with certain notable exceptions in the form of various parameters that require my attention shall disengage me from said stasis.}

“You have no idea how lucky you are not to have Kevin Thompson as a host” She responded, “So what triggered your system? A new windows update package available for download?”

{Not that it matters but I run off an Apple based OS actually, what I detected where several Spatial folding systems in various states of activity in the vicinity, I do believe that I and by extension this suit am capable of interfacing with said systems.}

“You can stop right there Vyv, the last thing I want is to be bonded to a machine that could be holding amorous intentions towards the vending machine for all I know?”

{HA, HA, HA} a laugh that was definitely unusual for its lack of emotional content {you may wish to know that you do not need to speak out loud for us to communicate, merely thinking your words will do, this will help people assuming you to be as unstable as a tap dancer in a ball bearing factory mid earth-quake.}

“As useful as that advice is” Daria thought back “from now on I want you to give me a signal before speaking, that way if I am busy I can tell you not to, a noise of some sort like *FEEB* or something.”

{Very well…FEEB protocol has been set.}

“Good, now shutdown.” As she heard an absence of voice she smirked as she turned the corner to find Jane with her head buried in her locker, “Jane are you ok?”

“Daria, promise me you wont freak out ok?” Her friends muffled voice was heard from within the locker.

“Sure I promise” Daria replied bemused as Jane started to take her head out “Why what is…” she stopped mid sentence and stared.

{FEEB}

“What?”

{Your friend appears to have 3 eyes.}

“I never would have guessed if you hadn’t told me.”

…………………………………………………………….

Jane looked at her friend nervously awaiting her response, albeit this was not the sort of thing you had to show to people normally,

“Its…different.” Daria said eventually.

“Different?” Jane was surprised to say the least “Daria you have a talent for understatement, I’ve become a freak of nature and all you can say is different?”

“Become?” Daria replied with a smirk, and then looked around before continuing, “You think you got it bad? Today I received a package…

…And of course the pile-up was none of my doing.”

Jane just stared at her friend for a while trying to find the exact right words to express her feelings at this time.

“Wow.”

That about did it.

“I know the triclops isn’t one to talk but it does seem a little far fetched…” Jane continued, worrying that maybe her friend had finally snapped.

“I admit it is…” She then stopped as if hearing a noise “sorry about that, Vyvian wants to talk to you.”

“The voice in your head?”

“That’s the one.”

“Daria no offence but…”

{Contrary to popular belief, Daria is not insane…well not totally insane}

Jane froze mid sentence as she heard an electrical voice in her head.

“Wuh?”

{I am assuming you are curious as to why am able to talk to you? It would appear that the book in your back contains writings related to shamanism that appears to utilise rudimentary spatial folding mechanics, given that the element of spatial folding; Critima appears to have been infused into the ink of the book I am capable of interfacing with it.}

“Wuh?”

“He can speak through the book?”

“Oh…why didn’t he say so?”

Jane and Daria both heard a digital sigh before Daria switched him off,

“So lets get to class,” Daria then said, “I don’t think the eye will matter, most people ignore you anyway.”

“Sad but true, let’s go.”

Later the two found themselves sat in O’Neill’s class staring in disbelief at the motley crew of youths stood behind the teacher.

“Class I would like to introduce some new students today, I know some of these may seem like unusual for this year but our principal has chosen us for them and we must respect her choice, allow me to introduce; Tom, Lurhman, Link, Allison, Skip, Amelia, Beavis, and …Butthead?”

“God hates me.” Daria said as she let her head fall onto the desk.

“And I'm sure he ain’t non to keen on me either” Jane answered following suit.

…………………………………………………………….

Tom couldn’t help but feel he was amongst lost souls when he looked around at the dead staring eyes, the glazed expressions, the looks of hopelessness…and that was just most of the faculty.

The principals briefing had not really been much, all she had done had rambled about how their ‘unique talents’ would bring honour and glory to the school and herself or some such gibberish he couldn’t make out because those two wouldn’t stop sniggering.

Taking a seat next to Daria and Jane he waited till they lifted their heads from the tables, he couldn’t help but notice Jane seemed to have developed an extra eye but compared to some of his Grandmas experiments that was nothing…Elsie still woke up screaming about ‘the tentacles’ sometimes.

“Something wrong?” he asked as the teacher began his lesson plan on something that only seemed barely related to the assigned book by a very thin association,

“Lets just say you’re not the only familiar face joining us” Jane replied while O’Neill began to try to explain Chekhov to the class.

“Huh, Huh, Huh, Whoa did he just say Jack Off?”

“Yeah Hehe, Hehe M Hehe, this class is pretty cool.”

“Especially for me…” Daria replied looking like she had just been told Quinn has been elected President, “Those two have haunted me for long enough already…Still” she said brightening up a little and showing a smirk “Things are just a teensy bit different this time around.”

“So…” Tom started trying to change the subject, although before he could continue the entire building was shaken by the sound of an explosion as the wall of the classroom blew out, still sat in his desk along with Daria and Jane while everyone else scattered he continued “…are lessons always this boring?”

…………………………………………………………….

{FEEB}

“Let me guess Vyv, there’s been an explosion hasn’t there?”

{I’m sure you’ve already noticed that, however I just thought I should point out that there was in fact several explosions…all caused by spatial folding technology it would appear. In other words the school is under attack from three separate sources.}

“Excuse me?” Daria replied shocked, leading to Tom looking at her funny,

“Daria who are you talking to?”

“It’s a long story” she replied distractedly, “Vyvian tell me everything.”

“Whose Vyvian?” Tom replied looking even more confused,

{To cut a long story short, there appears to have been three separate explosions, the first was in the basement and I detect 4 low level spatial folding systems in activation, the second was in the school science lab and I can detect traces of Critima in the area, the final explosion has occurred nearby as you will have noticed however the source appears to be in the parking lot…I am afraid that both a high-level spatial fold has occurred and Critima is in large concentration, according to what my databanks state it appears to be an experimental mecha suit rumoured to have been lost.}

“Ok that’s enough, spare me the lecture,” Daria said impatiently, Jane looked on concerned while Tom was merely confused, “Jane there have been three explosions, one was in the science lab and it sounds like it may be up your alley, I’ll check on the basement, from the sound of things there is a mecha outside whatever that is…”

“Then I’ll handle that one.” Tom said calmly as he appeared to be looking at his watch.

“Tom this is no joking matter…” Daria was about to say before there was a shine and Tom was suddenly wearing what looked like a bodysuit and a visor.

“Does everyone in this school have superpowers?” Jane said shocked.

“VEXER!”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Jane was learning that things had definitely gotten interesting.

“Later on the three of us will have to discuss this over pizza” Daria said matter-of-factly as she flexed her arms and legs getting used to the suits feel, “But right now the three of us seem to be the only ones able to stop whatever is hitting the school…I don’t know why we should but lets face it none of us want to see any students get harmed…too much.”

The three nodded and headed their separate ways, Daria and Jane headed out the classroom door while Tom left via the hole in the wall, Daria left Jane at the corridor where their paths split, standing at the door to the basement she took a deep breath,

“Vyvian?”

{Yes?}

“What sort of firepower am I packing with this?”

{Enough.}

“That’s all I needed to hear” and with that she kicked open the door and descended into the darkness and smoke.

…………………………………………………………….

“How come those two get the cool transformations and I have to put on my costume myself?” Jane said as she struggled into the make-shift costume she had put together from the clothes store, thankfully most of the students seemed to be either cowering in their classrooms or milling around in the car-park so the coast was clear.

Looking at herself in the mirror of the girl’s bathroom she admired her handiwork, her original plan was to go for a ‘battle-bikini’ similar to the ones in the comics Trent used to own, but an attack of modesty had led to her making some changes, she still wore her tights and boots but had replaced the shorts with the red swimsuit, however she also wore her black t-shirt over that, the coat was what made most of the costume, part trench-coat and part cape, it left her legs free to move but still could flap coolly in the wind.

Putting the rest of her clothes into her bag she removed the book and stashed the backpack in a cubicle, heading down the corridor to the science lab she flicked through the book and memorised a few key spells.

Standing at the door she took a deep breath and slammed the book shut.

“Well it beats English I suppose”

With that the she kicked open the door and entered the unknown.

…………………………………………………………….

“As much as I appreciate the shortening of the activation command Grandma” Tom muttered as he flicked the row of switches in the dashboard, “A simple on switch would have sufficed.”

As the speaker in the steering wheel opened he looked around the car park, thankfully everyone had scattered from the area after whatever the threat was had made another pass, thankfully the coast was clear now as he uttered the (now thankfully shorter) activation code.

“Go Oxidiser X!”

Rising into the air he felt the suit definitely felt more fine-tuned, it moved almost like an extension of his body, albeit he would have to ask his grandma what that jabbing feeling in the back of his neck was…

Scanning the area he deduced that the threat was definitely nearby, when a missile narrowly avoids giving you a haircut you gather the sender was either hostile or had a weird way of showing their affections.

“DEATH TO THE ENEMIES OF THE INVADERS!”

“Please tell me I didn’t just hear the screams of a psychotic pizza boy piloting a giant steel harbinger of death.”

…

“Oh right this mecha can’t talk can it?”

Deciding that maybe he should focus more on dealing with the imminent threat of said ‘steel harbinger of death’ over the lack of Oxidiser X’s communication issues he flew in the direction of the missile, he found hovering above the school what looked like a walking tank and a let less graceful than Oxidiser X in the colours of his old car…suddenly he remembered what his grandma had said.

“Oh dear…” He really had to learn not to tempt fate, usually it had a tendency of coming back to haunt him.

“Well I guess this partially my responsibility, and how tough can it be? Its just a prototype” he thought to himself as he charged at it,

“Listen you Pizza-pushing nut-job, this city is now under my protection,” he yelled as he charged the mechanical hulk, “And you can tell your hallucinatory alien friends that they will have to contend with ‘Steel Jaguar God Battler Oxi…WAAAAGH!”

He was unexpectedly interrupted by the large gauntleted fist of the machine colliding with him and sending him flying across town cutting a mighty cleft through the various buildings,

“Of course you realise” Tom said more than mildly irritated as he extricated himself from the rubble, “This means war.”

…………………………………………………………….

Daria stopped on the steps briefly as she heard a sound she would describe as being not unlike a 12ft tall machine being sent flying into several buildings if she had the first idea what that sounded like.

“Vyv, what was that?”

{It sounded like a 12ft tall machine being sent flying into several buildings if you ask me, although I think we should be more concerned with the matter at hand.}

“If you insist,” she said as she resumed her descent, “You know I can’t help but notice that a lot of familiar faces have turned up today, I can accept one or two but plausibility does seem to be stretched even by the very weird standards…I mean I know Link, no way should he be in high-school, that isn’t normal.”

{Far be it for a voice in a semi-living suit of armour currently existing by grafting to your genetic makeup to speak about what is normal and what is not, but it does seem suspicious, I will make inquiries when possible.}

“You do that” she replied as she made it to the bottoms of the stairs, she was glad for the night-vision the suit provided in the dark, as she reached the bottom she looked at what was before and took that back.

“Oh my God…”

{I am inclined to agree with you.} If a machines voice could waver it no doubt would.

Arranged in a row was 4 glass tubes, in them Daria could see all 4 members of the Fashion Club including her sister…especially her sister, their bodies seemed lifeless and brain-dead, but most scary of all was the fact that they where ‘fading’ for lack of a better word, the entire surreal scene was made all the more unsettling by the 4 ‘mannequins’ laying on something similar to what Frankenstein’s monster would be brought to life on.

“Come into my parlour,” a slimy and all too familiar voice said from behind Daria “said the spider to the fly.”

Turning slowly she drew the sword from her back, it was a good 6 inches in width and the blade was about 2-3ft long and VERY sharp, looking ahead she saw something that sent shivers down her spine and repulsed her to the very core of her being.

“What the hell have you done here Upchuck?”

…………………………………………………………….

Jane looked around the remains of the science lab, some force had definitely done some damage here, and things had been thrown around from the centre of the room, looking at the epicentre she was surprised to see an unconscious Andrea curled up on the floor.

“Andrea are you ok?” Jane asked hurriedly as she examined the Goth girl, she showed no signs of physical injury but her eyes where unfocused,

“I’m sorry” she said weakly “He’s too strong…I couldn’t control him…”

“Control who? What are you talking about?” Jane was starting to feel a chill running through the air, “power of the sun in the palms of my hand” this time bother hands developed ‘inactive’ fireballs as she scanned the room for any sign of a threat.

“That would be me babe.”

Jane barely had time to hear the voice before an entire desk was lifted from the ground by an unseen hand and thrown at her; she was just able to utter the “Burn up” command before throwing a fireball at it, then when another followed she let it have the second fireball, after this barrage she put one hand on the ground and uttered;

“Fire burn and around me bubble”

Which caused a dome of ethereal flame to envelop her and Andrea shielding them from any more thrown objects.

“Well looks like I get to have some fun after all,” the voice echoed around the classroom again, it had a very familiar sound to it that Jane couldn’t place.

“Who the hell are you? Show yourself,” She barked at the empty room, hoping not to show how out of her depth she felt, outside of the barrier grey smoke began to curl and form into a figure that no one expected to see in Lawndale High again.

“Tommy Sherman?”

…………………………………………………………….

Back outside Tom was busy engaging the enemy in mecha to mecha combat, so far the only casualty was the surrounding area, although he had taken extra care to make sure the principals car was definitely counted amongst the collateral, he had a feeling that would score some points with Daria…and the entire school come to think of it.

“You shall not halt my mission!” This sort of rant seemed to be programmed into the guy, although if the stories Daria and Jane had told him where true then this was believable…although he doubted the veracity of the one about them being alien love goddesses.

“You know you have some real issues with this whole alien thing” Tom said calmly, trying to keep some banter going to prevent himself registering how ludicrous the situation really was.

“So would you if they took away your skin” the voice from the other mecha replied lining up the cannons on its shoulders,

“Let it go already” Tom replied getting annoyed at the somewhat circular nature of these conversations, dodging the various explosives launched at him he pondered over the various armaments at his disposal, the particle beam cannon was more of a last resort, the rust missiles wouldn’t work if it was made of the same alloy as this, guess the arm mounted blasters would have to do, sure they where a little mediocre compared to the other firepower but they got the job done.

“Soon the aliens will come, and when that happens I will be…”

“Would you please just shut the HELL up?” Tom yelled as he unleashed a near endless barrage of laser-fire unto the hulking frame, he kept up the firing as the machine was driven to the ground and a cloud of smoke began to rise, after what felt like hours but what must have only been a minute he ended, he scanned the clearing smoke to catch sight of the fallen machine, only then did he remember his Grandmas advice to never fire into the smoke cloud.

“Oh shi…”

…………………………………………………………….

“I don’t know who you are mademoiselle, but I’m afraid it’s rather unfortunate you have seen my little ‘extra-credit assignment’ so sadly I may have to…”

“Upchuck its me Daria you idiot.” She snapped rather annoyed, surely it took more than a visor to disguise someone’s face didn’t it?

“Daria? Well this just gets better and better doesn’t it?” Upchuck continued in the ever so slimy voice, she wished he would step out from the shadows,

“Cut the crap Upchuck, what the hell is going on, what have you done to my sister?”

“Oh I merely gave her and her little friends an ‘upgrade’ shall we say?” While he continued she gave a quick glance at the tanks, all 4 of them where fading more and more, also the figures on the slab where beginning to take on similar appearances, she began to edge closer to them until Upchuck snapped at her to “Stop right there! Or my friend will have to stop you.”

A madly grinning figure stepped out of the shadows; it was only a few feet tall and had eyes that shone of madness, the fact that it was a young boy only made it more unsettling.

“Meet Bryan Taylor, an artiste extraordinaire when it comes to torture, he is both my lab assistant and head guinea pig down here, don’t make me have to sic him on you.”

“As creepy as that kid is, I think its fair to warn you this suit is more than just a Halloween costume, now back off and release those 4 or someone will get hurt.”

“My dear Daria, you have no idea how right you are, Bryan, be a good boy and take her out, but leave her alive for later.”

The boy laughed madly and launched himself at Daria; he was surprisingly agile for a young child, almost like gravity was reduced by a factor of 4 or more, this would have impressed Daria more if he hadn’t latched onto her next and grabbed at her face with his hands, all she felt then was synapse burning pain, she dropped to her knees screaming and trying to pry the kid off,

“Maybe I should have mentioned little Bryan here has the ability to cause intense pain with but a touch?” Upchuck sneered while watching, “Of course I’m sure you will pass out before he does any lasting damage, maybe.”

{If I may make a suggestion, it would be advisable to make use of the energy crystals in the wrists to utilise the Spark-Touch procedure programmed into the suit? Simply will them to activate and so it shall be.}

Fighting the urge to simple collapse into a twitching wreck on the floor Daria instead focused on grabbing the kid with both hands and looking him in the eyes,

“You know what they say boy about ‘D unto others as you would have them do unto you?” She said grinning through the pain as she focused entirely on one thing, which caused her hands to begin to crackle with electricity “Well it works both ways.”

As Daria would later say when retelling the story to her friends “You should have seen his little eyes light up.” Thankfully the shock was enough for him to break his grip just as his hair began smoking, taking full advantage of this Daria slung him across the room where he had a very sudden introduction to the wall, she looked again at Upchuck as the demon brat from hell began to slide down the wall.

“I’m going to ask you one last time before I lose my temper” she said as she picked back up the sword “let them go unless you want to wind up like your little friend there.”

“Oh Daria, Daria, Daria” Upchuck let out a long slow evil laugh, “you don’t honestly believe I would have let everyone else have all the fun in the experimental department did you?” And with that he began to move out of the shadows.

At this point she became eternally grateful for the very sharp implements both on her arms and in her hand.

{Tentacles, why did it have to be tentacles?}

…………………………………………………………….

Up in the science lab Jane was learning that an ethereal barrier of fire could only take so many objects hurled at it. Still it was giving her enough time to consult the book.

“Hey Tommy Slimer aren’t you getting bored of this yet?” She asked as she shut the book and tucked it into the pouch inside her coat made especially for it.

“Shut up Bitch!” Obviously the spectral former football player had not had his social graces improved by a spell in Hades.

“Only if you’re interested I found a section on the right spells to give me the right sort of fire to burn ghosts, if you want I could drop this barrier and try them out?”

“Yeah right, everyone knows there is nothing useful in books four…uh three-eyes.”

“I must say I’m amazed you can count that high,” Jane replied as she waved her hand and the field disappeared into the air, “So what’s it going to be?” She raised a hand “Hellfire?” Raising the other “Or Brimstone?”

In one hand a 5-pointed star of fire drew itself inside a circle at her fingertips whereas in the other a large flaming chunk of rock materialised in her hand, she grinned as her third eye began to glow faintly.

“I knew you Goth chicks where all into that Satanism and crap,” the late Tommy said contemptuously “But that isn’t going to help now.”

“Ok for the record, 1 she’s the Goth chick not me, and she isn’t into Satanism as far as I know,” she indicated the less shocked but still spaced out Andrea sat on the floor “And second, I do believe it is.”

With that she hurled the flaming rock in her hand at the spirit who stood there smugly expecting it to bounce off him harmlessly, he was more than a little surprised when it collided with him as if he was corporeal and sent him flying across the room, he would have no doubt passed through the wall if Jane hadn’t put her free hand to the floor and recited the incantation that caused the firewall to form behind him, he smacked into it and fell to the ground, standing up he obviously had felt the impact and his spectral clothing had real looking burns on them.

“Is it too late to talk about this? He asked nervously,

Jane just nodded while grinning,

“I’m screwed aren’t I?”

“Like Annabelle Chong.” Jane said before throwing the flaming pentagram…

…………………………………………………………….

As he lay in the crater of the school football field Tom thought about the important lesson he had learned about being smashed in the back of the head and driven into the ground, it hurt like crap.

“God bless full body air bags,” he thought as the cushioning material on the inside of the cockpit deflated and returned to it place, as he launched back into the air he remembered the time he asked his Grandma why she built these things in the first place, of course her response had been

“Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

He wondered if insanity ran in the family while pursuing his target, finding it back in the parking lot he noticed it was blasting markings on the ground, no doubt some demented visual of an ‘invade here’ sign,

This time he decided to hold back instead of rushing straight into the fray, the prototype was obviously more powerful firepower-wise and had stronger armour, he was sure this was breaking some natural law,

His plans for a sneak attack where temporarily delayed by what sounded like a phone ringing and a small symbol appearing at his monitor, figuring this was the communicator his Grandma had installed in the event of needing to give him a message he sighed.

“Onscreen.”

He was proven correct as his Grandma’s face appeared in a window on the monitor of his visor, “She better not be calling asking where she left her glasses” he thought to himself.

“Ah Tom, just turned on the TV and saw that there is a situation at your new school, did you know that someone seems to have activated the ‘Killer Hell Bull’ and its in the process of trying to level the building and…you obviously know this already”

“You could say that” Tom replied, he always tried to remain calm when dealing with a woman who for all he knew had self destruct buttons rigged up for every building and object in city limits, “By any chance did you happen to make any changes in design between that and this other than…oh I don’t know, making this thing a hell of a lot weaker?”

“What? Oh of course I forgot about the unstable power router…that thing flip-flops between states, it has no reliability, just wait for a while for the light on its chest to dim and you’ll find it as easy as nuking an anthill…not that I know what that’s like of course.”

“Sure Grandma, thanks” as the communication ended he continued, “So that explains the giant ants people claim to keep seeing.” With that he tried to approach the ‘Killer Hell Bull’ as stealthily as is possibly in a large chunk of metal.

Thankfully the pilot seemed way too preoccupied with his little art project to notice Tom slowly getting closer, Tom suddenly grinned when the light on the chest of the mecha did indeed dim,

“Now its my turn” Tom said to himself before yelling at the top of his lungs as he charged at full speed into the fray.

…………………………………………………………….

Daria ducked and weaved around the area trying to dodge the very Freudian looking tentacles that emanated from Upchuck whose arms and entire body below the waist where made up of these disgusting appendages.

“GET THOSE THINGS AWAY FROM ME!” Daria yelled angrily as she swung the sword wildly to try and prevent the things from getting hold of her, she had a feeling these things where bad enough on their own but attached to Upchuck they became a whole lot worse.

Unfortunately Upchuck had more control over those things than she thought meaning he was able to avoid her attacks and wrest the blade from her hands, despite her valiant efforts to continue fighting back she found herself ensnared and despite struggling she found at least 2 of the damned things writhing down the front of her armour, this got her more than a little angry,

“Now Daria its time for me to taste some forbidden…” *SNIKT* “YEEEEEOUCH!”

{Really if he insists on having tentacles of a phallic nature protruding from various points of his body then he should have taken the possibility of bladed weapons and the damage they can do into consideration.}

“Gross, gross, gross, gross, gross” was Daria’s contribution as she quickly removed the tentacles she had severed using the forearm blades from her armour, “its going to take me a million showers to feel clean after that.”

{I suppose you should be thankful that he didn’t manage to get any further.}

“I guess, lets just say if he tries anything like that again I’ll cut off something that certainly sounds a little like tentacles.”

“RRRR Feisty” came the ever-annoying sound from the collapsed heap that used to be Upchuck, “sadly for you mere flesh wounds will not slow me down,” indeed the various severed appendages had begun to grow back as he raised himself from the floor.

“As you can see I have achieved Godlike power now!” As he was about to lunge forward what looked like a metal M was thrown at him and exploded and left him in pieces.

Daria watched as the ‘Upchunks’ for lack of a better word began to move together and reform, then she looked in the direction of whatever it was that was thrown came from, stood on the stairwell was a thin slightly slouched figure with odd hair wearing a formal black suit with a red trim & cape, on the sleeves at the wrist a red M was visible as well, the mans face was covered by a pointed red mask that obscured his eyes meaning Daria could not recognise him at all.

“I’m sorry what did you say your power was? The masked figure asked in a calm and almost monotonous deadpan “I heard the word ‘Godlike’ but that can’t be right.”

…………………………………………………………….

“You know I’m sure this was supposed to be going my way.” Jane said to the slightly more coherent Andrea as they both took shelter behind the teacher’s desk.

“I don’t know what to tell you.” Andrea replied with a shrug,

“How about starting with how exactly you came to be in the room with a guy who has been dead for about a year at least?”

“Nothing really to tell you, I’m a medium who can do a whole bunch of weird crap involving spirits and stuff, and I sensed something…turns out it was one of the few people…and I use that word dubiously, to have more substance now that he’s deep-sixed, and that’s just cause he’s made of ectoplasm.”

“Yes I see, Andrea I’m guessing this is some new meaning of the word nothing that I’m not aware of is it?” Jane replied as she looked over the desk and promptly ducked again to avoid the oncoming lab equipment sent flying her way.

“Like your any less weird?”

“Touché,” Jane summoned another flaming pentagram into her hand “Think this one will actually hit?”

“Maybe, it was rude of him to doge that first one, I suppose we need some way of keeping him still.”

“Yeah but how on a ghost?” Jane asked then noticed Andrea has gone quite as well as her eyes losing focus.

“Would this help?” Asked a voice from her other side, turning she saw a translucent version of Andrea floating besides her.

“AAH! Andrea what the hell?”

“Astral projection, nifty huh?”

“Suddenly it explains why you seem so spaced in lessons, what do you, check out the guys locker room?”

The ghost Andrea just grinned in response,

“Anyway back to the matter at hand, what do you suggest we do? You grab him and I blast him?”

“Screw that, I stand just as much chance of getting oblitafried that way.”

“Well how do you suggest we do it? Distract him maybe?”

“I have a plan” Andrea replied, “Be ready to blast him with something powerful”

Jane nodded and removed the pentacle, “ready when you are.”

Andrea grinned as she stood up, “Yo Stiff-dude, what do you think of these?”

Jane stood up behind Andrea and looked stunned as she partially saw through her to see she had lifter her top up, Tommy was staring in awe, which meant he didn’t see or hear Jane casting the spell “Nova Burst” which led to a powerful stream of fire that Andrea ducked by diving through the floor, Tommy wasn’t as fortunate and took the full brunt of the blast, he stood there charred to merely a blacked-out version of himself.

“Ow.” He uttered as he fell to the floor.

Jane was certainly puzzled by what happened next, a pair of hands obviously belonging to Andrea passed through the floor and took a hold of the spirit, next the entire astral-projected form of Andrea swiftly moved back to her body dragging the spirit of Tommy Sherman along with her, after a few moments Andrea stood up as if nothing had happened at all.

“Well he’s under my control now, I’ll keep him from causing any more trouble…why are you staring at me like that?”

“That was your plan?” Jane yelled in a mix of confusion, anger, and amusement ”A spring break special?”

“Hey it worked didn’t it?”

…………………………………………………………….

Tom had decided that there was something oddly therapeutic about pounding repeatedly against an armoured shell, although he eventually decided that enough was enough, the fact the chest-light had flicked and the machine had hit him flying was also a reason for this conclusion.

“You know its been fun and all” He said calmly as he saw the light dim once more and began to grin, “But I think its time to call an end to this before lunch.”

With that he flew up into the sun and using the light behind him to blind his opponent temporarily spoke the code;

“Activate Oxidiser Particle Beam Cannon”

Then he took aim and…

“FIRE!”

From inside the ‘Killer Hell Bull’ Artie looked on in confused shock as a very (with a capital V, E, R, and Y) large beam of energy approached at high speeds and impacted with enough force to launch him a long way away into the sky where he disappeared as a twinkle of light.

As he landed the mecha behind the school and turned it back to a rusting jaguar he drew the twin pistols from their holsters and headed back into the school.

“I suppose I should see if Daria or Jane need some assistance.”

Elsewhere on the other side of town, a man sat down for his lunch was more than a little startled to witness a large flaming hunk of metal crash into the ground, he was even more surprised to see a young man with red hair and acne walk out of the fire completely unfazed, although his clothing had a few tears and he bore a crazed expression.

“I knew this skin would come in handy…you gonna eat all that?”

…………………………………………………………….

Daria was looking back and forth between the gradually reforming purple mass that was Upchuck and the masked figure on the stairs in confusion.

“Well now, this is a surprise” The figure spoke in that same tone as before “I was not expecting to find the Vexer Unit so soon…although it is a shame that its been activated.”

“Vyv any idea who this is and why he knows about the Vexer?”

{It would appear the government have dispatched ‘Agent Mask’ to locate me and this suit, not much is known about him except he is one of their best agents…despite his downright bizarre choice of outfit. Be careful is the best advice I can give, although I would be more concerned about your sister…}

“Oh no!” Daria thought to herself “I completely forgot about them in the confusion.”

Turning to look at the tubes she was shocked to see them empty and the figures on the desk had now become perfect likenesses of the 4 fashion club members.

“Quinn…I was too late.” Daria said quietly in shock, however her grief was cut short when she felt her arms suddenly pinned behind her back,

“I’ll make this easy, hand over the suit and tell me what communication you have had with that Barksdale woman and I wont have to kill you.” Before Daria could respond he held up a larger M to the previous one in front of her face, “If not you will leave me no choice but to activate this, and I know that an unfinished Vexer prototype could not survive a spatial collapse at this range.”

{I feel obliged to ask you to deliver a message to him for me}

“What is it Vyv?”

{I am by no means an ‘unfinished prototype’} the voice replied with just a hint of simulated pride {I am in fact the fully working model and feel we should show him this, by the way the red panel on your thigh if opened will contain a useful implement to do so if you wish to utilise it.}

“Agreed” Daria said out loud and then put the solid armour on her feet to good use by stomping on the foot of the figure and spinning round while removing a pistol of sorts from the aforementioned red panel.

“Now then.” She said as she aimed it between the eyes “How about I let you leave this time in exchange for your assistance against that thing over there and you don’t even think of using that toy in your hand?”

“I’m afraid I can’t disobey orders…” the figure henceforth known as Agent Mask said until Daria lowered the barrel of the gun enough to cause him to change his mind “OK it’s a deal” he said rather hurriedly.

“Excellent, run along now, oh and one more thing…DUCK!” Then Daria fired a shot at the reformed Upchuck as he lunged, as his head exploded a small mechanical device landed between the two.

“A neuro-chip?” Agent Mask said intrigued “I had no idea these things had been developed, if I take this back to my superiors…”

He was unable to finish his sentence as Daria promptly crushed the chip under her heels, “I think someone was about to head on his way.”

“You!” Agent Mask was certainly angry and was about to prove this by throwing another M until something shot it out of his hand.

“Now I don’t think you wanted to do that did you?”

Daria looked along to see Tom and Jane stood at the top of the stairs grinning, Tom had his pistols trained on Agent Mask while Jane had a fireball in her hand, also to Daria’s surprise a familiar looking young boy in a lab coat with a large rifle-like device slung over his shoulder was making his way down the stairs.

“Link?” Daria said surprised as Agent Mask chose that moment to vanish, “Now this is just getting weird.”

…………………………………………………………….

Jane and Tom both stood aside as the masked figure ran past, at the moment they where more concerned with making sure Daria was ok, besides Andrea was waiting in the corridors and now she had gotten Tommy Sherman’s ghost under her control (Jane hadn’t really wanted to ask how) she could stop him if he tried anything.

The two headed downstairs to watch the young boy working away at the keyboard of a large console if it was a child’s toy, Daria was stood over her sister…or at least what looked like her sister with her visor removed and looking concerned.

“Where did you find that kid anyway?” Jane asked Tom who was poking a strange purple thing in a shirt that resembled Upchucks with his foot.

“He was hiding in his locker when I came back in to see if either of you needed help,” Tom replied after deciding the thing was either dead or harmless, “he was busy tuning up that BFG on his back and I figured it would be safer to keep him where I could see him.”

“How considerate of you.”

“Well I figured the place was in a bad enough state as it is without some kid running around unchecked with that kind of firepower.”

Jane rolled her eyes before the two walked up to the others to hear the kid speaking,

“Well its not a very professional job but he did manage to put their consciousness’s and bodies into the ‘Battle-Dolls’ 100%, once I remove the control commands and add a few safety protocols they should have no memory of this and be fine…apart from the whole cyborg bodies thing, best leave them to recover for a while and then let them go.”

“Thanks Link…what about ‘That’?” she said indicating the now fully reformed Upchuck who was starting to turn from purple back into his usual self, it was a minor improvement over the tentacled freak he was before.

“Well if that chip was what I think it was then he shouldn’t remember much of this either, although we may have to worry about the mutation and what he could do with it.”

“Don’t worry, Upchuck may be a slime ball but he usually knows not to cross the line, I think the chip made him more…Upchuckish for lack of a better word, besides he’s going to love being able to get a soda from the fridge without needing to leave the computer.”

Jane watched as Daria’s armour began to retract and disappear into her body, at the same time Tom pressed his watch and returned to normal as well, “Stupid E-Z-Change costumes” she muttered as she went behind the computer to get changed back into her regular clothes, once she was finished she walked out again trying to keep the eye closed.

“Ugh…what happened?” Upchuck murmured as he stood up,

“Your extra credit science project exploded” Daria said quickly, “We found you down here unconscious…there may be side effects, if I was you I’d go home and get some rest.”

“Sure” Upchuck mumbled slightly dazed.

“Oh and Upchuck.” Jane added.

“Yes?”

“Put some pants on.”

…………………………………………………………….

Later that day Daria, Tom, Jane and Link where sharing a pizza, school had been cancelled for the rest of the day after the whole narrowly avoiding destruction thing.

“So you two,” Daria said looking at Tom and Link (who had been persuaded to put away the rifle) “How was your first day?”

“Well it’s a step up from elementary school I suppose” Link said with a shrug, “guess my ‘genius level’ intellect can only afford to elevate me a few years as opposed to just getting myself a diploma and getting the hell out of here.”

“Personally I thought it was certainly interesting.” Tom added taking another slice, “Although as much as I love piloting Oxidiser X in the fight against evil I could do with it only happening on weekends.”

“You think we’re not really taking this whole thing seriously?” Jane asked carefully watching the last slice with all 3 eyes, “I mean we did all narrowly avoid death it seems and here we are making light of the situation.”

“Maybe we’re all just in shock?” Daria said calmly “Although I suppose if something happens again we should decide whether we will get involved again.”

“You know with great power comes great…” Tom began to say before Jane interrupted.

“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence if the next word is responsibility.”

“I was going to say explosions actually” Tom finished with a grin.

“He’s got a point,” Link added as him and Jane now both warily eyed the last slice.

“Oh what the hell, I’m sure ‘crime fighter’ will look good on a college application form and will shut Mom up.” Daria said and held out her hand above table “You in?”

“Yup.” Tom said and put his hand over hers,

“Well if you two are…” Jane said before doing the same.

“I’m not one for frontline but if you need some assistance count me in.” Link finally said and put his hand on top of the pile.

“Then its settled” Daria said giving her usual Mona Lisa smile…and with that she took the last slice of pizza.

The End.