Episode 0: The Pilot.

‘Go Steel Jaguar God Battler Oxidiser X’

“Dammit, Come on, Come on, Come on” Tom yelled in frustration as he floored the gas pedal in frustration, “How in the hell can such a large van move so fast?” He asked himself as he tried to overtake ‘the tank’ but was having no such luck; already his speedometer was near the edge, although Daria has warned him that theirs never went above 10 so for all he knew they didn’t even know how fast they where going.

“Just my luck to agree to do Daria a favour that involved chasing down a van with warp drive” he muttered as he looked in the rear-view mirror to see if anyone else was around, supposedly Mystik Spyral has an out of town gig somewhere and for reasons not made clear Daria needed him to get there first and find something that would utterly humiliate her and prevent the others from seeing it by ANY means necessary.

“I hate to do this,” He said aloud while pressing a concealed button on the steering wheel causing a panel on the dashboard to spin to reveal a row of switches, “But Daria was quite firm about this…the mallet made that clear.”

As he flicked the row of switches he laughed to himself, “People always wondered why I drive this old rust-bucket, if only they knew its secret…” as he hit the last switch he watched the speaker in the steering wheel fold out and took a deep breath.

Feeling a little like an idiot he said as loud as he could “Go Steel Jaguar God Battler Oxidiser X” then tried to regain his breath as the whole car began to shake, he supposed that the long activation code and voice activated commands where a small price to pay all things considered.

As the rust and paint began to fade into a bright metal colour he had to suppress a grin as the car began to change and fold around him, no matter how many times he saw this transformation he had to grin.

Within what must have been a few seconds despite seeming much longer the rusted Jaguar was nowhere in sight, instead hovering above the road was a sleek fully armoured 12ft tall mechanical suit, it gleamed in the sunlight as Tom got used to the change in seating arrangements as he was now fully encased in the metal skinned automaton, he was the only member of his family who appreciated having a mad scientist for a grandmother.

“Round Vernier Thrusters Engage” he said into the microphone of the headset now attached to the clear visor that he always inexplicably wound up wearing in these situations, he jolted as the mecha began to accelerate, he had never had an opportunity to test this baby out to its full potential, now it seemed he would, he remembered his grandmothers advice on using the engine, “constant thrust equals constant velocity” or something, “well now, lets get a move on, Go Steel Jaguar God Battler Oxidiser X” he shouted again getting into the spirit.

“Whoa!” Trent said as he looked out of the window of the tank, “I just saw a giant shiny robot flying next to us and then pass us.” Jesse replied in rapt attention “Cool…did you see the driver?” Trent thought for a second “Well it did open and a guy waved at us, but I couldn’t recognise him…he was wearing a visor.”

“YAHOOOOO” Tom yelled as he pulled up into the sky, hovering over the town he begun to look for where the gig would be, after spotting it as the local high school he saw ‘the Tank’ on the other side of town, “Damn” he thought, there was no way he could land this thing and change back indiscreetly and then get in and find what he needed to and get out in time…although Daria did say by ANY means necessary, scanning the building to see if it was empty he got the affirmative and grinned.

“I’ve always wanted to do this,” He said as he swooped over the school and issued a command “Activate Oxidiser Particle Beam Cannon” with that said weapon moved from the back of the mecha to being mounted on the shoulder, taking careful aim Tom yelled “FIRE!” at the top of his voice and watched in awe as a massive ball of energy began build up at the cannon barrel before bulging out into a beam that atomised to the defenceless high school.

As he flew out the town he thought to himself “Well I saved the town of…” he stopped and looked at a road sign as he shot past it “Highland from Mystik Spyral, and the kids from high school…I could really get into this hero business. Lets Go Steel Jaguar God Battler Oxidiser X!”

The End.

This story was based off an iron chef on the PPMB quoted below

Your challenge:

Select one of the Anime Laws of Physics and write a BRIEF (1000 words or less) scene illustrating said law with Daria & Co.

The Law chosen by me was:

5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion

The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

However several other laws where drafter in as well, from this challenge the above story was written, and ‘Steel Jaguar God Battler Oxidiser X’ was born, a tribute/parody to all the anime and anime clichés I have grown to love.