One Night is all I Ask

A Fanfic by DJW, all Daria Characters are © of MTV, Viacom and…what the hell you all know how this goes, the show belongs to who it belongs to, same with the characters except mine…they belong to me.

 

“One Night is all I ask”

All Daria and Tom want is a quiet night together, but everything else seems to be against that, meanwhile losing a bet with Quinn means Wasabi, ‘JD’, and Clovis have to go on dates with the fashion club, be sure that by the end of this story something will have exploded (literally or metaphorically?  See for yourself).

This story takes place 3 days after “Under the Principals Orders” ended.

…………………………………………………………….

 

It was a typical Lawndale Friday evening if you could ever call Lawndale typical, and the various residents prepared for whatever they had planned for that night.

 

Tom Sloane drove his car round the corner of the street; he was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel along with the music on an old Jazz, Blues, and ‘Rock and Roll’ station he had found at random.

 

“Oh Woman oh Woman don’t treat me so mean, you’re the meanest old women I ever did see…” He sang along to the music “I guess if you say so-oh I’ll have to pack my things and go” and then had to stop as he had reached his destination, home, he checked his watch and seeing it was 5:30 figured he had another hour and a half at least to kill before picking up Daria so he could relax for a little…barring any interruptions, which is exactly what he guessed the phone was as it rung while he was just through the door.

 

“Hello?  ‘JD’ what do you want?  He did what?  Oh dear…” he sighed “fine I’ll be right over” he hung up and turned around dejectedly.

 

“With friend like these…” he thought as he started up his car and drove off.

…………………………………………………………….

Over at the Morgendorffer household Daria stared into her wardrobe wondering how it took Quinn so long to choose clothing for a date, after a minute of looking she took out her black jeans as well as the old jacket she used to wear in Highland, a regular white t-shirt finished the ‘ensemble’ as Quinn would have called it, she was sure Jane would have some comment to make on this as well if she hadn’t been drafted into helping Trent get to a gig at ‘The Zen’ in time…what had she done to deserve that?

 

As she left her room she saw Quinn leaving at the same time, she seemed to be dressed slightly more fancy than usual but not as much as she usually wore on dates, she was in the jeans she usually wore but had a shiny pink silk shirt and her hair tied back with a pair of chopsticks,

 

“Interesting choice Quinn, I didn’t know the cutlery in the hair look was in fashion” was Daria’s opening remark,

 

Quinn just looked at her for a few seconds “Well I guess the penguin look must have made a comeback judging from your apparel” she finally replied.

 

“Touché” was all Daria said in response, she was in an uncommonly charitable mood so decided not to get into a battle of wits with Quinn…after all what’s the fun of battling an opponent with both hands tied behind their back?  She looked at her watch as she walked down to the kitchen and saw the time as 6:00 so she had about an hour to kill before Tom arrived.

 

Quinn had followed her and headed to the fridge “So as to avoid the usual awkward silence Daria, what do you and Tom have planned for tonight?”  Her sister asked idly, Daria thought she must be in a REALLY good mood as she found herself actually giving a straight answer.

 

“Not really sure, said he just wanted a quiet night so I’m guessing that his friends have been a bit more bizarre than usual” to which Quinn looked up from the fridge thoughtfully.

 

“That Lee-Daniels guy can be more bizarre than he normally is? …Freaky,” she said as she sat down with a small plate of carrot sticks in front of her, despite everything Daria felt inclined to agree with her until she heard a knock at the door and her mother answering it.

…………………………………………………………….

By the time Tom pulled into the driveway of Clovis’s home at 5:40 he could hear the commotion from outside, knowing from ‘JD’s call that their mutual friend’s parents where out he walked round the backyard and saw what was making the noise, Wasabi was up against the house wall nervously looking at an enraged Clovis who was being restrained by ‘JD’ and who he was guessing was Jeff obscured by Clovis’s head, in Clovis’s hand was a long wooden pole that no doubt he had been practicing with until whatever had set him off had…well…set him off.

 

“Guys what’s going on?”  He asked awaiting an explanation, which ‘JD’ gave.

 

“It would appear that SOMEONE” he said glaring at Wasabi “made a bet with someone else that if he lost meant he had to date her AND find dates for her 3 friends…guess who that was?”

 

Wasabi looked at Tom and shrugged “I betted she wasn’t intellectual thinking she was just another fashion zombie with bouncy hair, how was I supposed to know she could quote the Iliad page for page?”

 

Tom looked at him during this last statement “Wasabi, please tell me its not the same girl who was talking to you at Lawndale High?” he said while staring at him,

 

His friend remained silent for a while “Well?” Tom asked getting irritated.

 

“Well you told me not to tell you and…” Tom cut off Wasabi.

 

“That’s it your on your own here” he said as he turned to his car, he wanted a quiet night and staying with those four would not result in one.

 

As he left he did hear a yell followed by a thwack sound and eventually the words “Sorry Jeff, was aiming for that prat over there…you ok?”  Tom didn’t look back which was probably the smartest decision he had made so far.

…………………………………………………………….

Helen was slightly surprised to see Tom at the door as she exclaimed

 

“Tom this is a surprise” (what did I tell ya?)  “Do come in,” she continued as he entered

 

“Daria said you wouldn’t be turning up for another hour…then again she could have said you had joined a cult so I suppose I should be thankful for the odd moment of honesty from her” she stopped when she saw the somewhat bemused expression on Tom’s face

 

“Actually Mrs Morgendorffer I was meant to be here at Seven but circumstances encouraged me to arrive early” he was thankfully saved from explaining further by Daria and Quinn walking into the living room

 

“Hey Daria…ah Quinn by any chance would the words ‘Iliad’ ‘Bet’ and ‘Dates’ have any meaning to you?” he asked as he passed her leaving her with a nervous grin on her face while Daria just looked slightly confused.

…………………………………………………………….

Later on Daria was sitting next to Tom on her bed watching TV, Tom hadn’t really said much in the last 20 minutes except for his somewhat bizarre statement to Quinn (which had at least managed to distract her enough to not comment on Tom’s outfit, instead of his usual sweater and khakis he was wearing a black shirt and trousers along with a white waist-coat), other than that he had explained that he ‘needed to get away from his friends for a while’ and spend some time with someone who he could enjoy the company of and actually relax without having to worry about lasting psychological harm…she was still trying to decide whether to feel flattered or annoyed by that comment although the former was winning out it would seem.

…………………………………………………………….

In a different part of Lawndale ‘JD’ Noone and Clovis Lee-Daniels walked out of the town hospital, neither one said anything for a while until Clovis eventually spoke.

 

“All things considered I think Jeff took that rather well”.

 

‘JD’ stared at his friend for a while before he sighed and said “Clovis this is the 5th time you have sent Jeff to a hospital in the past 2 months, he’s beginning to think you don’t like him.”

 

The response was “Well he’ll be out in a jiff like anyways, besides if that’s how he feels why didn’t he say anything?”

 

To whit the response was “CLOVIS YOU IDIOT HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS.”

…………………………………………………………….

Eventually the silence was broken “So any plans for tonight?” Tom had asked.

 

“Well I’m not doing anything I can’t cancel…hell I’m not doing anything period” Daria responded smiling “Why, what did you have in mind?”

 

She hit the mute button, as Sick Sad World was about to begin its usual opening ‘one-liner’ sometimes she wondered if they just kept someone locked in a closet who had to think of those lines.

 

“To be honest I just thought thing have been a bit hectic lately with one thing and another and I don’t know about you but I’m feeling kind of burnt out so I thought maybe the two of us could maybe just spend a quiet night out…or in if that’s what you prefer?”  Tom shrugged as he finished and thought to himself ‘also I could use an alibi in case those maniacs kill each other’ but decided to keep that to himself,

 

Daria thought for a few seconds and decided,

 

“Ah what the hell, why not, lets go” she said as she got off the bed and headed to the door of her room.

…………………………………………………………….

After walking in silence for a while ‘JD’ eventually opened his mouth

 

“Anyway we’re going to have to get this out of the way eventually, which of the two ‘fashion zombies’ are we gonna have to be stuck with?  Wasabi told me that there is either the bitch or the brain-dead…”

 

Clovis’s response was almost instantaneous so ‘JD’ knew there was something suspicious “The brain-dead.”

 

‘JD’ countered with a suggestion of “Rock, paper, scissors?” to which Clovis nodded and the agreement was made.

 

“Deal…1…2…3” and they made their decisions.

 

‘JD’ grinned in victory “Paper covers rock”

 

Clovis simply looked at him calmly and said, “That ain’t a rock mate, it’s a clenched fist.” victory to Clovis…it annoyed ‘JD’ but he would rather keep his teeth.

…………………………………………………………….

“Not that I really care, but have you had some sort of fight with your friends?”  Daria asked Tom on the way downstairs, as they headed towards the front door he responded.

 

“Not really, its just sometimes they can be a little…intense for lack of a better word and I need some time to clear my head, thankfully none of them know your address” he said as he opened the door for Daria only to find a surprised Wasabi about to knock,

 

“Guess you spoke to soon” was the even more surprised Daria’s comment; Tom looked at the sheepish looking young man in front of him and eventually said in a passable imitation of Helen’s voice.

 

“Quinn sweetie your date is here,” he then snapped back to normal as he waved his hand at the door “after you Daria”

 

Somewhat puzzled Daria shouted to whoever was listening in the kitchen

 

“Mom, Dad, we’re going out for a while…don’t wait up” she added with a smile as she walked past the increasingly confused Japanese guy in the doorway “You poor bastard.” was the closest to a friendly greeting he got.

…………………………………………………………….

Later on Quinn sat in the passenger seat of Wasabi’s car, truth be told she was a little nervous, normally her dates didn’t give her reference cards…or an animal tranquiliser gun for that matter, she remembered him opening the trunk of his car, a GT cruiser so at least it looked good,

 

“OK you will be needing this…” he looked at the shotgun in his hand and muttered, “was wondering where I had left that” before returning it and taking out a set of cards

 

“The cards with the blue stickers are for whoever is stuck with ‘JD’ and the ones with red are for whoever the poor sap stuck with Clovis is…pay close attention to them…oh and the ones in green where going to be for Jeff but due to ‘circumstances’ he can’t make it so one of your friends will need her own date for tonight”

 

This at least was a relief for Quinn, Stacy had seemed somewhat unwilling to go through with this, and she had probably planned a date with that Ted guy again.

 

“Oh and last of all” Wasabi handed what looked like a pistol to Quinn “under NO circumstances is Clovis to be allowed to drink diet soda, we don’t know if it’s a psychological reaction, an allergy, or if he’s just not human but for the love of God do not allow him to drink the stuff…if he does, well I’m sure you know what to do…don’t worry I have one myself.” He proved opening his shirt to show one holstered at his shoulder “so lets just try and have fun tonight yes?”

 

That would be easier said than done Quinn had decided at that point.

…………………………………………………………….

Meanwhile at another part of Lawndale in the club commonly known as ‘The Zen’ (or ‘The Zon’ or ‘The Zone’ depending on who you asked) Jane Lane sat at a table with a soda in one hand and an icepack in the other against her head…Max and Nick would pay for getting her with the mike-stand, still at least they had helped load a sleeping Trent into the back of ‘The Tank’ although there hadn’t been enough room for Jesse so they did have to improvise and tie him to the roof…she would wait another few minutes before reminding them he was still up there.

…………………………………………………………….

As Tom drove his old car while listening to something probably as old on the radio he realised he kept stealing a glance at her while she wasn’t looking, one of the things he loved about Daria was the lack of awkward silences, he didn’t have to try and think of things to say to fill in the gaps in their conversations.

…………………………………………………………….

As Daria watched Tom drive his old car while listening to something probably as old on the radio she realised she kept stealing a glance at him while he wasn’t looking, one of the things she loved about Tom was the lack of awkward silences, she didn’t have to try and think of things to say to fill in the gaps in their conversations.

…………………………………………………………….

Elsie Sloane was not in the best of moods, she had heard her brother come in at 5:30 and leave almost right after, this in itself would not be a problem if not for the fact her mother had asked her to catch up with Tom and deliver an important package that had arrived for him.  Of course he had to take his car which was not a problem either (well the car was a problem but try telling Tom that) but she had heard him on the phone to ‘JD’ Noone, and she knew his little sister so drove to her house to find him…only to learn that the ‘Lothario of Lawndale’ (and head of the school chess club) had left with Wasabi to Clovis’s, still there was always the advantage of making Clovis squirm if she went there,

 

Of course by the time she made it there she saw an Ambulance leaving but no sign of Tom, so OF COURSE Tom must have gone to the hospital, so naturally she had gone there as well, only to be disappointed that although Jeff…the poor bastard had checked into his normal bed Tom was nowhere to be seen,

 

Although ‘JD’ and Clovis had left mentioning something about a restaurant so there she headed as well hoping to find some clues…or she would be if her car hadn’t run out of gas (who cares about licenses or laws when you’re a Sloane? she thought…well except for Tom but he was weird) leading her to stop to refill…then when she could she would head to that Chinese Restaurant Tom and his friends often frequented…then she would either finish her errand or get some well deserved payback.

…………………………………………………………….

Meanwhile back at the ‘The Zen’ Mystik Spyral began to take the stage…Jane had decided to be merciful and tell them where Jesse had gotten off too…surprisingly enough he seemed perfectly fine about waking up tied to roof of a van…of course Jesse could wake up on a rope dangling into a volcano and be none the wiser she thought to herself.

 

“Hi we’re Mystik Spyral but we’re thinking of changing our name” was Trent’s now common catchphrase as the band began to warm up, at the same time Jane felt a shiver run down her spine, she knew what was coming and could do nothing about it.

 

“Well Hello Madame Lane, the delectable Ms Morgendorffer not with you tonight?  Still I see that it enhances your beauty by your solitude, tell me would you care for a model for your work ever?” The slightly slurred mating call (he wished) of Charles Ruttenheimer the IIIrd rang out as Jane resisted the urge to find new and artistic uses for the chair she was sat on.

 

“Beat it Upchuck before I use you as a Deconstructionist piece, I’ll deconstruct you organ by organ and bone by bone…using this drink stirrer” she said holding the glass decoration threateningly knowing from Daria that Upchuck could get frisky when inebriated.

 

“RRRR Feisty” was the inevitable response although Jane was saved by the band starting their first song, a new piece by Trent called ‘Times up’.

 

“Times up, I ran out of time

Times up, I’m at the end of the line

Times up, I didn’t make it,

Times up and I don’t give a…Dude that guy is groping my sister”

 

Trent’s sudden deviation from the song attracted the attention of the band.

 

“Not Cool”

 

The next thing Upchuck knew he was nearly driven into the ground by a stage diving Jesse Moreno.

…………………………………………………………….

“Tom do you actually have any plans for tonight or are you just driving around aimlessly?” Daria finally asked Tom, it was nearly 7 and there was only so much silence a person could take.

 

“Hmmm, it’s a bit cliché but how about pizza?  I don’t know about you but I haven’t had a chance to eat anything yet” his stomach confirmed this by making its own contribution “Shut up no one asked you” Tom said looking down.

 

“Pizza would be fine, I haven’t eaten either” her stomach made the same contribution “What he said” she scolded her stomach somewhat irritated causing Tom to laugh slightly as he turned the car round to head off to the usual pizza place.

…………………………………………………………….

Stephen Alberts and Maggie Blum-Deckler where sat at the bar of the ‘Millionaire Express’ Teahouse enjoying a short break for 5 minutes before any customers turned up to ruin it.  That was the one problem with running a restaurant Stephen thought; you did have to deal with quite a few idiots…if he wanted that he could have just gone into politics.  Still if he was lucky maybe there wouldn’t be any trouble tonight… “Yeah and if I was really lucky then maybe Tom Cruise would walk in and sweep me off my feet…keep dreaming Stephen” he thought to himself.

 

He was cut off from his fantasies by Maggie pointing out that they had customers, Clovis and that guy in glasses he hung out with…neither of them looked like they particularly wanted to be there.

…………………………………………………………….

Wasabi frowned as he turned up his car radio a little bit more to drown out the seemingly endless stream of fashion-babble the girl with the surprisingly deep voice was spouting in the back of his car, and he had only got one round in the tranq gun as well.

 

As the night went on the bet was beginning to seem like a worse and worse idea, maybe he should have just let Clovis knock him out and put him out of his misery?

 

“Gee Quinn, its so good to pick us up seeing as neither of our ‘dates’ seem to have cars” the deep voiced girl said in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

 

“Well ‘JD’ had to send his car in to be fixed due to an accident and Clovis isn’t allowed to drive until he learns that” he then went into an imitation of Michael Caine’s voice “over here they drive on the wrong side of the road” he then returned to normal “so be glad I was willing to pick you up”

 

“Yeah Sandi, I mean its not like we have anything better to do tonight, so why not say we dated guys from Fielding, its bound to affect our popularity, anyways Joey, Jeffy, and José as well as the rest of the football team are at the pizza place celebrating their victory in that exhibition match against Oakwood…and you know how bad it is after a match, all they ever talk about is football…Waz are you ok?” Quinn asked as Wasabi’s shoulders began shaking as he held a hand over his mouth.

 

“Snrrk…sorry I’m fine…just a tickle in the back of my throat, hang on here we are” he said as he swerved the car suddenly which had the effect of throwing the girls in the back suddenly “I told you to buckle up so don’t say I didn’t warn you…”

…………………………………………………………….

Michael J Mackenzie AKA Mack sighed and put his head in his hands exasperatedly; sometimes he wondered if he had done something REALLY bad in a previous life and Kevin was his punishment, and it was only 7:20…he had a long night ahead of him.

 

“Kevin please explain to me again why you bought all those fireworks?  In a way that makes sense to the rest of us as well” if such a thing was possible he added to himself.

 

“That’s Simple Mack Daddy…”

 

“Don’t call me that” Mack said then thought “My God I do that automatically now”

 

“Seeing as how we were so going to trounce Oakwood I got these to celebrate,” Mack was starring at him “um you know let a few rockets off and stuff” Mack’s glare was getting unsettling “…um…err…I’m the QB?”

 

“Kevin,” Mack said quite calmly “I can understand buying a few fireworks to celebrate and don’t see anything wrong with that” he took a deep breath and tried to remain calm “Now what I may have issues with is the fact that you have bought roughly enough explosive material to invade a small country, AND I’m certain some of those things are definitely not legally classed as fireworks but weapons of mass destruction” he sighed as Kevin was probably still processing the word country so he gave him time to catch up.

 

“Kevin, I am going to make this simple, get rid of those things in your jeep or I give Brittney ‘the list’ and you know what I mean” he didn’t want to have to use that threat but had no choice, besides Kevin still hadn’t figured out that there was no list but it had worked so far.

 

Now he just had to deal with the problem of the others causing too much noise and making fools of themselves.

 

“They don’t pay me enough for this” he said to himself as Kevin ran out to do his errand “Hell they don’t pay me at all…I should start charging Principal Li” then he looked over and at last saw someone he recognised as intelligent, she was proving this by leaving, what the hell he thought and wandered over to say hi.

…………………………………………………………….

“Tom do you ever wonder if your life is just one giant joke?”  Daria asked as she ate her pizza, it was 7:15 and the Lawndale Lions football team had ruined their plans for a quite pizza, they where currently engaging in their usual victory rituals of breaking beer-cans on their head, belching, and deciding to play football indoors.

 

“Sometimes, but then I think that they must have messed up the punch line because I don’t see myself laughing” Tom replied as he leaned sideways to dodge a rogue football.  The last five minutes had certainly not been what he had planned, still may as well make the most of it he thought.

 

“So Daria, you think maybe we should go somewhere else once we finish?”  He said after a few minutes of eating, Daria was about to reply when another football found its way to landing in their (thankfully almost finished) pizza spraying Tom’s face with mozzarella and tomato puree, Tom to his credit did try and manage to keep a calm face before he sighed and let his head fall onto the table, dropping the slice of pizza onto his plate and letting his hand fall alongside his head.

 

“You ok?”  Daria asked with a hint of concern, “I haven’t seen you this down since you learned Groucho Marx’s moustache was fake” she let out a small smile as she took his hand from across the table as Tom looked up smiling.

 

“Daria that’s it, I’ve just remembered ‘The Vortex’ is showing Duck Soup at 7:30, that would at least give us an hour away from everyone else, what do you say?”

 

Daria thought for a few seconds and decided, “why not, come on, as they say ‘lets blow this joint’ …you may want to clean up first”

 

Tom nodded “I’ll meet you at the car, I’ll just be a second” and headed to the bathroom as Daria got up narrowly avoiding a speeding Kevin muttering something about ‘the list’ which got little more than a shrug from her as she headed to the door until a familiar voice attracted her attention.

 

“Hey Daria, what’s up?” Mack asked as he headed over.

…………………………………………………………….

Back at ‘The Zen’ Max and Nick both walked in with evil grins on their faces, Max with a tin of pitch in his hand and Nick with a now empty pillowcase slung over his shoulder.

 

“It done?” Jane asked already knowing the answer as they both nodded “OK how much do I owe you guys?”

 

“Call it an early Christmas gift” Nick said as he headed back to the stage to resume the show “Besides Max has been aching for a chance to be a ‘criminalé’ again”

 

“Hey” the aforementioned Max cried as he climbed the stage and got ready to play again, thankfully the crowd had loved seeing Upchuck getting his comeuppance so where eagerly awaiting the band to start up again.

 

“Janey could you go and get Jesse?”  Trent asked, “Only he’s the only one we need to start and he’s still outside”

 

Jane went outside to find Jesse on a cell-phone having a conversation, or as close as he could come to a conversation.

 

“Cool…Cool…Cool…Yup…OK Tomorrow…Later” he hung up, “Hey” he said to Jane as he saw her waiting.

 

“Jesse the band is ready to start…thanks for that by the way, who was that on the phone?” she asked.

 

“Cool, just some guy” he said as he went back into the club leaving Jane outside to look up at Max and Nick’s handiwork as it whimpered.

 

“Quit whining Upchuck, tell you what, its 7:20 now, we’ll cut you down after they finish this set which should be…oh about an hour or two” she said as she went back into ‘The Zen’ in a very good mood.

…………………………………………………………….

Stephen had been watching the last 4 minutes with interest, that green-haired cutie who Clovis had brought round before had arrived with 3 girls at 7:15 and had spent an awkward few minutes introducing them to ‘JD’ and Clovis, then they each ended up paired off and sat at tables, there wasn’t much conversation between the various parties so Stephen decided to leave it to the other waiters to take the drink orders while he made a phone call.

 

“Hey babes how are you?  …How is the performance?  …Good, we still on for tomorrow? …Is that the only thing you can say? …Very funny, so we’re on for tomorrow right?  …That great see you babes.”  He hung up just as he saw Maggie looking at something intently.

 

“Something wrong Mags?” He asked her as he was honour-bound as Co-worker, friend, and roommate, following her gaze he saw she was looking at Clovis “What is it?”

 

“Clovis is, like, dating my sister…” she responded in her valley-girl accent that seemed oddly out of place “That is so wrong” she gave a little mischievous grin “I totally don’t know who to feel more sorry for.”

 

Stephen had to suppress a laugh as he leant back on the bar; it was shaping up to be a very fun night.

…………………………………………………………….

“Mack?”  Daria was surprised to see one of the few people in her school she could actually tolerate walking alongside her, “Shouldn’t you be babysitting the football team?”

 

“Don’t remind me, I needed a break and saw you leaving,” he explained, “I really needed some intelligent conversation if just for a minute, and I don’t normally see you out on your own I must admit.”

 

“Actually I am here with someone, Tom is just in the bathroom…besides I could say the same thing about you,” Daria said giving her Mona Lisa smile “Usually you follow Jodie like a well trained lapdog.”  This elicited a laugh from Mack.

 

“Guilty as charged I will admit, sadly Jodie is stuck spending the night working on something or other for her family” Mack frowned briefly while continued “Sometimes I think she really needs to take a break before she breaks down,” although Mack stopped when he saw Tom walk out the door.

 

“Hey Daria whose your friend?”  He asked still dabbing at his face with a napkin.

 

“Tom, this is Mack,” Daria made the requisite introductions “Mack this is Tom, you’ve probably seen each other at the after school sessions.”  Daria watched as the two shook hands, although Tom then caught a glance of his watch.

 

“Uh-Oh, its nearly half past, we better get a move on if we want to catch the movie, it was nice to meet you Mack and sorry we have to run.”  Tom said apologetically to Mack.

 

“Not at all,” he said casually, then with a subtle smirk “You two lovebirds have fun.”

 

Daria rolled her eyes as Mack watched her and Tom walk off to their car, just as Kevin came running up.

 

“Mack Daddy…”

 

“Don’t call me that.”  What the hell Mack thought, he may get the point one day.

 

“…Anyway I got rid of that stuff like you said,” Kevin explained as Mack listened while watching the two get into their car “I found some old wreck of a car someone had left and I managed to get the trunk open and stuff it full of fireworks…”

 

“YOU DID WHAT?” Mack yelled as he spun to face Kevin…he had decided now that this night was only going to get worse before it got better.

…………………………………………………………….

“Thanks for the ride Jodie, I really appreciate it” Elsie said to the figure in the driving seat next to her “I didn’t know anyone else to call and since we traded numbers that time we both got dragged to the golf course well…”

 

“Say no more Elsie, I needed an excuse to get out of the house, my Dad is as always trying to either give me a good chance at a bright future, or completely break my spirit, I haven’t figured out which yet” Jodie answered grinning a little “So where do you need a lift to anyways?”

 

“To wherever my seemingly untraceable brother has gotten to” Elsie said exasperated “I swear that guy is so good at vanishing from my parents radars its almost like he plans on stealing his inheritance money and running away someday…I wish.”

 

Jodie raised an eyebrow at this until she saw the smirk on Elsie’s face and rolled her eyes until she remembered to ask the question that had been bugging her for a while.

 

“Elsie I do have to ask, why is Andrea with us?”

…………………………………………………………….

Jeff lay in his hospitable bed completely oblivious to the world as the painkillers worked their magic on him, too bad about his nose but the head fully covered in bandages look he could make work he had decided…but then he remembered he had to shoot some pool with Charlie Chaplin…God Bless Painkillers he thought as he drifted out again.

…………………………………………………………….

The Fashion club (minus 1) where all in the bathroom discussing stuff while they reapplied their make-up, eventually Sandi finished applying whatever it was (I don’t do make-up ok?)  and began to speak.

 

“Gee Quinn, I am so grateful for you for setting me up with geek for tonight”

 

Quinn rolled her eyes as she prepared herself for dealing with Sandi, “Sandi it could have been worse, and sure he’s a geek but a rich geek, even richer than Skyler so the two balance each other out…although I’m sure you could trade with Tiffany and have Clovis as your date, I’m sure you’d get along fine” Quinn gave an evil little smirk “Besides you know how good he is with his hands”

 

“These walls are realllly shiiiny…I can see my face in them” was Tiffany’s contribution.

 

“Tiffany Dear, they are called mirrors” Sandi said with a hint of frustration “and I guess I can see your point Quinn, although I don’t see why I couldn’t just switch with your date…”

 

“Sandi believe me you do not want to date this guy” Quinn answered very quickly “the guy has zero interest in fashion and when you try and talk actually says stuff back all the time, not to mention you can’t mention the word cute because his eye starts twitching.” Quinn neglected to mention that she was enjoying her conversations with Wasabi more than any other date she had been on.

…………………………………………………………….

The guys where all sat at the bar discussing stuff while they waited for the girls to finish reapplying their make-up, eventually ‘JD’ finished his soda and began to speak.

 

“Gee Wasabi, I am so grateful for you for setting me up with psycho-bitch for tonight”

 

Wasabi rolled his eyes as he prepared himself for dealing with ‘JD’, “Quit bitching and take it like a man ‘JD’ however I’m sure you could switch with Clovis, how’s your date going?”

 

“Please kill me now” was Clovis’s contribution.

 

“Gladly if you didn’t owe me money” ‘JD’ said with a hint of frustration “and I guess I can see your point Wasabi, although I don’t see why I couldn’t just switch with your date…”

 

“’JD’ believe me you do not want to date this girl” Wasabi answered very quickly “The girl has an overpowering obsession with fashion and when you try and talk you have to be lucky to get a word in edgeways, not to mention she keeps on arguing with me on all my conversation choices.” Wasabi neglected to mention that he was enjoying his debates with Quinn more than any other date he had been on.

…………………………………………………………….

Daria and Tom sat at the back row of the cinema, they had made it with just about a few minutes to spare and had settled down to watch the movie, it was now 8:00 and the movie was halfway through.  The place was practically empty so they where leaning against each other laughing or smiling at the various wit and wordplay of the film, and even once or twice the odd slapstick moment.  Despite their intellectual tastes both Daria and Tom had to admit there was something inherently funny about watching someone get hit on the head.

 

“When you think about it, its kind of depressing how the common standard for humour has gone downhill from clever wordplay and sight gags to jokes about bodily functions and genitalia.”  Daria commented.

 

“So true, I do miss the old days, but as Clovis says” imitating Clovis’s upper-class accent “sometimes you just can’t beat a good knob-joke” returning to normal “of course he also thinks ‘Gone with the Wind’ needed Ninjas so maybe I should just ignore him” Tom replied “But we can always come here to appreciate some of the ‘good ole days’ at least”.

 

Suddenly an enthusiastic voice cried out “Ha-hah Verbal Humour” accompanied by the sound of someone giggling as two figures made their way .

 

“Obviously someone aggress with us” Tom said but stopped when he saw the look on Daria’s face.

 

“Why here?  Why now?  And Why him?”  She asked as she let her face fall onto the seat in front.

…………………………………………………………….

Stacy couldn’t help but giggle whenever Ted had to point out what was on screen, they had got to the cinema a little late but thankfully they could at least catch the last half of the movie, as they made their way to their seats Stacy was sure she saw someone familiar smacking her head against the seat in front of her.

 

“I guess some people just don’t appreciate the classics” she whispered to Ted as they sat down, she would try and keep Ted from providing a colour commentary which could annoy the others…she just hoped she had brought enough gum.

…………………………………………………………….

Jane looked at her watch, 8:15; damn she would have to let Upchuck down soon, still he had been crushed by Jesse and then forced to endure being; stripped to his underwear, tarred and feathers, and then duct taped to the lamppost outside the club with a sign saying ‘pervert’ on his chest, Max and Nick where professional pranksters it seemed.  Jane had gone out once or twice during the breaks to make sure he was still there…and take a few Polaroid’s, she was going to have a lot of inspiration for her next few pictures in Ms Defoe’s art class, heck a passing Ms Bach had paid her $50 in advance for a portrait herself much to Mr O’Neil’s concern.

 

“Hey guys, finished the set?”  Jane asked as the band headed to the bar for drinks “Only we may want to let our victim down before people start asking too many questions.”

 

“Huh?  Oh right him…” Trent said in his somewhat distant manner, “I guess we can cut him down…oh hi Monique”

 

Jane turned to look as Trent’s sometimes/sometimes not girlfriend entered the club; she had the look of someone who was definitely amused at something, Jane could hazard a guess as to what.

 

“Hi guys, hi Jane,” she said as she walked up to the bar “I’m guessing you’re responsible for the chicken-man hanging from the sign by his underwear?”

 

“Underwear?”  Nick said as he turned to Max “looks like the tape came loose, we better get him down safely…or at least in one-piece”

 

As the two began to calmly walk out and then go into a mad dash for the door Jane realised “Now this I have to see” and she readied her camera as she made her way out.

…………………………………………………………….

Lhurman looked up from his computer and said “Don’t look at me, I’m Irrelevant” and went back to his work leaving his mother to walk out exasperated.

…………………………………………………………….

Elsie, Jodie, and Andrea entered ‘The Zen’ about 5 minutes after Upchuck had been ‘rescued’ (Actually Max and Nick had tried to catch him, TRIED being the key word, and despite being a little dazed he was alright as they hosed most of the tar off him and gave him his clothes back to apologise for the concussion)

 

“So Andrea, why are you here anyways?” Jodie asked still confused, the trio had been driving around for a while trying to find Tom but had no such luck, so they had decided to take a break and check out the club.

 

“What can I say?”  The Goth girl answered “I was finishing my shift at the mall, I drew the late shift that night when I saw Elsie here cursing at her car…”

 

“The stupid thing broke down, not sure how” Elsie added trying to be helpful

 

“…Right, as I was saying, I saw her yelling at the car when…

…………………………………………………………….

A drunken Evan Farmer approached the girl swearing at her car “Hey baby, how’s it going?”  Not well seemed to be the answer as she didn’t really pay attention to him.

 

“Come on, don’t be like that,” He slurred, “At least tell me your name”

 

“Out of your league” Elsie snapped back, the guy looked like he was about to get mad until a voice from behind attracted his attention.

 

“Back off Evan,” Andrea said, she had seen the guy from across the street and recognised him as being from the school track team, he could be a jerk when sober and drunk he was just as bad at times.

 

“Hey I remember you, your…” he said as the alcohol finally took his toll and he pitched forward, it wasn’t really a fall but more like someone going from vertical to horizontal without much in between.  As he landed with a satisfying THUD a man with a somewhat large build and long hair came round the corner and saw him.

 

“There you are, sorry about this ma’am, my friend cannot hold his drink” Robert said as he hoisted Evan off the ground and slung him over his shoulder as if he was nothing, “I’ll take him off your hands, sorry again ma’am” and with that he left.

…………………………………………………………….

“…And with that he left, then the two of us got talking and then you turned up,” Andrea finished explaining “and I figured, hey a free ride is a free ride, thanks for the lift” she said as she walked over to the bar.

 

“Anyways, lets have a drink or two and then we resume the search for my idiot brother” Elsie said as she and Jodie bought a soda each when Elsie heard someone saying her name.

 

“Elsie?  It is you” Jane said as she walked up “you’re looking for Tom I take it?”

 

“Yes wherever he’s gotten too…I’ve been trying to track him all night but lost the trail when I got to the hospital,” she stopped when she saw Jane raising an eyebrow “long story, anyway I was trying to find the Chinese Restaurant him and his friends are often hanging out at but we can’t seem to find it”

 

“You know I could give you directions if you need, the band are about ready to start their second set and my ear-drums can only take so much torture” Jane said shrugging.

…………………………………………………………….

Upchuck walked down Dega Street muttering to himself, he knew he shouldn’t have had that beer at the club, it always led to trouble he thought as a man in leather passed him

 

“Cool tattoos mate” a voice with an English accent said as Axl the tattoo man passed him.

 

“Great I still have tar on my arms” he thought to himself as he put his hands in his pockets annoyed…”Wait a minute, where are my car keys?” he thought suddenly “Oh great Jane must have them…I guess I have to go back.”

…………………………………………………………….

Daria and Tom left ‘The Vortex’ slightly annoyed, the film just hadn’t been as good with Ted commenting on it throughout, “I’ll get him on Monday” Daria thought “I’ll give him some poisoned gum”

 

“Sorry about that Daria” Tom said as he held the door open for her “if I’d have known that guy was going to keep talking I would have followed him when he went to the bathroom and strangled him when I had the chance.”

 

Daria considered the advantages of this as Tom walked round to get into the drivers seat, she noticed how similar to a cowboy he would be dressed…if he still wasn’t wearing those trainers that seemed to follow him everywhere, he seemed to wear them no matter what, he would probably even get married wearing them… “Now there is an interesting thought”

 

“Tom how about we drive around and see what we can find?”  Daria asked “maybe mosey on down to the arcade for an hour long ‘fragfest’?”  She said with a grin.

 

Tom to her surprised reached under his seat and took out a black cowboy hat and put it on as he spoke in a bad ‘John Wayne’ accent “well hang on ‘lil lady’ we got a long way to go” he was obviously enjoying this, must have watched a few to many westerns when he was a kid.

 

“OK Tom but if you say Yee-Haw then their gonna find your body in this car”

…………………………………………………………….

“Well did you get them?”  Mack asked as Kevin ran up nervously.

 

“Sorry dude” he said panting “that trunk is real tempermuriel… tempermechanical… temper…hard to open” he took a deep breath “All I could do was put a few dents in it…not that he’d notice anyways”

 

“As true as that may be Kevin we need to follow them, if something sets those things off…well I’m sure you can imagine that Brittney wont want to date the QB if he is in jail” Mack let that settle in before Kevin bolted for his jeep as he followed.

…………………………………………………………….

Stephen looked on in confusion “How Maggie?  Just how?”  He said after a while “I can understand the green haired dude and her getting on fine as they seem to have been all night, and the guy with glasses if his reputation is as true as they say I can accept as well, but how in the name of Wong Jing’s Wang is Clovis getting on so well with your sister?”

 

“Oh it was like so easy once I pointed out she spoke Mandarin, maybe she isn’t as fast as me but she speaks totally quicker than she does in English…she like, never was the same after that volleyball incident you know” Maggie said after some thought.

 

“Does it ever bother you that we need a Gweilo like Clovis to interpret for us if we ever want to speak Chinese?”  Stephen asked, it was awkward that he only spoke Cantonese and Maggie was of the Mandarin tongue, mind you Maggie had spent most of her life in Lawndale whereas he had moved from Hong Kong 5 years ago.

 

“Not really, its like, you know, ironic but then again, Clovis is as much of a ‘Gweilo’ (foreigner) here as we are” she responded, “Anyways I gotta get back to work, looks like ole Anthony is back for his weekend refuel…” she stopped as she saw Stephen starring at her “Don’t worry, I’ll stop serving him when his eye stops going back in…or out…or whatever”

…………………………………………………………….

“You know the thing about Pokémon I never got” Quinn said between mouthfuls of stir-fried Tofu “is if the idea is to ‘catch em all’ then why does that idiot keep giving his away or leaving them?”  Who would have thought you could have so much fun complaining about TV shows.

 

“Exactly, its just like Sailor Moon” Wasabi replied as a piece of lemon chicken on the end of his chopsticks never quite made it to his mouth “I mean alright back in Japan it may have been a decent show, but with the way it has been edited to buggery over here it’s just another half hour long advert” he looked at his watch, damn 9:00, since she had got back from the bathroom he had spent nearly an hour talking about old TV shows and other things from their childhoods, he was actually having fun.

…………………………………………………………….

“You mean that whole Jedi mind trick can actually be done?”  Sandi asked genuinely interested, who could have known geeks contained so much useful information?  She had already since she got back from the bathroom learned: how to fake your own death, how to brainwash someone, how to properly hypnotise people and now how to do mind control.

 

“Sort of, the trick is you have to understand how the persons mind works” ‘JD’ said, (like how you are obsessed with power to hide your insecurities he thought), “for instance, the key thing to remember is despite all the hoo-hah you hear is to know that men and women’s minds work differently, allow to me demonstrate” he said (you also have to remember not to believe a bunch of BS a guy feeds you because he’s bored and likes playing head games he heard at the back of his head) and then asked her “How many pairs of shoes do you own, roughly”

 

“Erm…15” Sandi answered,

 

He next asked Quinn who answered with “20”

 

Tiffany was next with “14”

 

And finally Maggie with “3”, which annoyed ‘JD’ a little.

 

“Now personally I own just this pair,” he said pointing to his sneakers.

 

Clovis had about “2”

 

Wasabi had “2” as well

 

Lastly Stephen scored in with “30…what?  I like shoes”

 

“Of course there are always exceptions that prove the rule” ‘JD’ said annoyed a little, “But if you know how to get the suggestion in, you can make sure a person will do something”

 

“Prove it” Sandi said as she was beginning to think that despite seeming to be a nice guy this geek was talking gibberish.

 

“Alrighty then” ‘JD’ said as he pushed his glasses up a little and then waved his hand theatrically “within an hour, you will be making out with me in the alley behind here”

 

Sandi looked somewhat unimpressed “I hate to burst your bubble but your powers are weak geek man”

 

‘JD’ sighed “Oh well” he then took of his glasses and threw his hair back as he did so, then proceeded to clean them on his shirt while a stunned Sandi watched “Too bad”, (sure a load of psychological mumbo-jumbo can help with the ladies, but what really works is knowing that under the glasses and the neatly combed hair you are probably the most drop dead gorgeous man in Lawndale to back up your ‘l33t Ninja skillz’ as they say.)

 

This was confirmed by Stephen coming to collect the empty glasses and dropping his tray and going away blushing.

…………………………………………………………….

“<So would this make me look fat? >” Tiffany said holding a piece of Won Ton in her chopsticks, having someone speak her native language was good she thought, she had been hanging out with English speakers for so long she had begun thinking in English, which was then things got awkward.

 

“<In all honest, yes it probably would if you ate too much, that stuff is like crispy fried chicken without the chicken…still it tastes excellent so who cares?  Maybe if you tried exercise instead of dieting too much it wouldn’t be a problem>” Clovis responded, this girl wasn’t too bad once you figured her out, don’t talk fast or she gets confused, avoid long words, and don’t patronise her, she may not be as intelligent as some people but at least she knew this.

 

“<You think?  But wouldn’t that make you all sweaty? >” She asked interested.

 

“<Maybe, but then just take a shower afterwards like I do, hell the exercise I did has left me with a metabolism>” he winced as he realised what he had just said was slightly over her head “<that allows me to eat a whole lot and not gain weight…or maybe you could try changing your diet, maybe more fish? >” Because your brain is definitely malnourished he thought.

…………………………………………………………….

Daria and Tom approached the entrance to ‘Millionaire Express’ as it was now 9:30 and they had built up more of an appetite at the arcade, although they had to leave once Brittney and Angie had taken over the DDR game, Mr and Mrs Bennett seemed to be settling their arguments in a marathon Streetfighter session, and lastly Dr Manson and surprisingly Pavlov the custodian where going away at Time Crisis 3 like there was no tomorrow, now Daria only had to put up with Toms tendency to sing along with the radio, still at least ‘Rock and Roll Randy’ was on good form tonight.

 

“Finished with my woman cause she couldn’t help me with my mind” Tom had continued to sing along “People think I’m insane because I am drowning all the time” although eventually he stopped when he noticed Daria giving him a sideways glance.

 

“Tom don’t take this personally” Daria had said “but I’ve noticed a weird theme that all the songs you’ve been listening to seem to have about a guy breaking up with his girlfriend or something similar, is there something your planning on telling me?”  Daria wondered if it was legal to enjoy watching Tom get so flustered as much as she did.

 

“Wuh?  I mean of course not…I would never…why would I ever?  I mean I l…” Tom said trying to not put his foot in his mouth.

 

“TOM WATCH OUT!”  Daria had to yell suddenly as Tom looked out and swerved his car to avoid a somewhat chubby girl Daria remembered was called Dawn as she crossed the street.

 

“What where you just about to say?”  She asked once he had managed to pry his hands off the steering wheel and park the car near restaurant.

 

“Honestly I don’t remember,” He said looking perplexed, he had said something he knew that, “I’m sure it wasn’t important but if it is it will come back in due time”.

…………………………………………………………….

At 9:30 Stephen looked up as the door opened and Tom and Daria walked in, he was getting up to go over when they took a look around and walked out quickly.

 

“That’s odd,” Stephen thought to himself “Hey Maggie you didn’t forget to put on makeup today did you?”  He shouted jovially.

 

“Go to Hell Stephen” she responded good-naturedly

…………………………………………………………….

Daria and Tom sat on the hood of their car, “what are the odds of that then?”  Daria asked a little surprised.

 

“Not that surprising really I guess” Tom responded, “It figures that Wasabi would end up making sure that all 3 of them are in the same area, what with ‘JD’ and his mind games and Clovis’s needing only one thing to kill someone when he is angered”

 

“What thing is that?”  Daria had asked.

 

“An excuse.” Tom said frankly, “Anyways its quiet enough here,” Tom said as he slipped his arm round Daria’s shoulder “What do you think Daria?”

 

Daria thought for a few moments before she smiled and leaned into his shoulder “I think you talk too much Tom” as she kissed him briefly.

 

This meant neither of them was able to see the two figures get up from behind the car and slink away.

…………………………………………………………….

Mack and Kevin both crept as quietly as they could away from the car, each with an armful of various fireworks.

 

“Dude that was just Daria…kissing a guy” Kevin said in disbelief once they where at a safe distance.

 

“Yes Kevin I know, I mean big deal so Daria has a boyfriend” Mack snapped, Kevin was starting to try his patience “I mean contrary to popular belief she is a person just like anyone else…ok maybe not exactly like everyone else.”

 

But by then Kevin was off in a world of his own “SO he really wasn’t her brother?”

…………………………………………………………….

At 9:45 Jodie pulled up outside the restaurant and Elsie got out.

 

“Thanks Jodie, thanks Jane, don’t worry about the wrong turn, it happens to us all” Elsie said as she began to head to the doorway “if you two wouldn’t mind waiting for a minute that would be great, I’ll get Tom to give me a ride back if he’s there…and if he isn’t I need someone to check me into the nuthouse”

…………………………………………………………….

Wasabi looked up from his food and saw Elsie walking in, “Quinn I’m just going for a smoke, I’ll try not to be long” He said as he got up and headed out the door as soon as he could.

…………………………………………………………….

“YOU” Elsie said to the startled Clovis who had up until then been speaking some Chinese mumbo-jumbo “Tell me where my brother is right now or there will be suffering…” Elsie said threateningly.

 

“Whab da kuck dar yu balking gadout yu gad dunt” Clovis said with a mouth full of food, it was probably better that she didn’t understand a word he said, once he swallowed the food and tried again “Elsie what do you want?”  Self-control he reminded himself.

 

“I have spent the last 4 hours or more going all over Lawndale trying to find my brother, so tell me where he went when you left the hospital” Elsie demanded getting frustrated.

 

“What in the bloody hell are you talking about?”  Clovis asked confused “Tom never went to the hospital, the last time I saw him was at 5:40, he probably went to Daria’s or something”

 

Elsie stood stone cold still for a while, if she could have kicked herself then she would have, “Daria’s?”  She said weakly, of course, she is his girlfriend he would probably have gone to her house straight away, he had her phone number written in his room…she could have found that and had the night free…Clovis was not going to get away with this she decided.

 

Tiffany remained oblivious as she changed mental gears to understand English again.

…………………………………………………………….

Wasabi had been outside for about 15 minutes ‘smoking’ his ‘cigarette’ and while this herbal contained no nicotine or anything else for that matter it at least took the cravings away, Wasabi thought back to the day he had decided to quit smoking and how Tom, ‘JD’ and Clovis had stood by him throughout and he was thankful for his friends.

 

Which meant it was all the more annoying when he heard the screams from inside.

…………………………………………………………….

Elsie had been bothering Clovis for nearly a full quarter of an hour, a new personal record she thought, although she was a little annoyed at how he was not paying much attention and was still eating, “And besides” she continued “everyone knows all your martial arts are useless if someone just pulls a gun” and she instantly regretted it

 

Clovis suddenly started coughing and spluttering as Elsie remembered Tom mentioning Clovis having a strong fear of guns due to one of his relatives being shot, she grabbed the first drink she saw and handed it to Clovis “Here drink this, it will help”.

 

Tiffany finally said something “Heyyy…my diet soda”

 

Elsie suddenly remembered the other very important thing Tom had once told her, “OH SHIT” she said as he let out a crazed yell.

…………………………………………………………….

Quinn looked up as she heard the yell from Tiffany’s table, she looked to see Clovis yelling with what looked like…”OH SHIT” She yelled as she pulled the tranquiliser gun from her purse and took aim.

 

Tiffany in her credit took being shot with a dart gun remarkably well before she lost consciousness.

 

Clovis sadly seemed to be in the ‘murderous rage’ vein of behaviour, Elsie and Quinn had the sense to run as he began to chase them

…………………………………………………………….

Wasabi spun round as he heard the scream and through his lit dog-end away as he reached into his shirt and pulled his pistol out, he was about to head into the restaurant when Elsie and Quinn ran into him, the three went sprawling and the gun was knocked away.

…………………………………………………………….

Upchuck walked up the Chinese restaurant his cousins Brad and Brett dropped him off at, only one of them had needed to come but once they had learned what had happened they both insisted.  Thankfully Jane’s brother had told him where she was and he had managed to get out before he tried anything else.

 

He saw an Asian guy with green hair outside smoking what looked like a cigarette so went over to ask him if he had seen Jane, although from inside there was a scream and the guy threw away his cigarette…which inconveniently happened to land on the tar still on Upchucks arm causing it to catch fire, he began to panic and ran screaming, it had not been a good night.

…………………………………………………………….

Mack and Kevin had managed to load most of the fireworks into Kevin’s jeep when suddenly what looked like Upchuck ran past on fire, Mack had run after him to see if he was ok when Kevin saw a fuse on the jeep burning.

 

“Uh oh, hey Mack Daddy…dude…we have a problem here I think” Kevin said, next thing he knew he was on his back and watching an impromptu pyrotechnics display.

…………………………………………………………….

“Jane I need to stretch my legs,” Jodie said as she got out the car “I’ve been driving around most of the night and I’m starting to get cramps.”

 

“Hey no problemo” Jane said as she got out as well “its partially my fault anyways…Jane stopped when she heard a fizzing sound much like what she heard that time Trent was doing a gig…although that had been when…”JODIE GET DOWN” Jane said as she tackled her just as a large ‘fireball’ shot over them.

…………………………………………………………….

Daria and Tom had been sat peacefully when they began to hear a noise

 

“Tom what’s that?” Daria said while he looked around trying to find the noise.

 

The next thing Daria knew Tom had thrown himself into her knocking her to the ground as what looked like a ‘fireball’ had shot past the car.

…………………………………………………………….

Wasabi, Elsie and Quinn where on the ground as Clovis staggered towards them, he seemed to be half drunk, half hyper, and all crazed.

 

“Waz, what happened to him?”  Quinn squealed nervously

 

“As far as we know,” Wasabi said trying to be calm and getting to his feet “Diet Soda triggers some sort of reaction causing Clovis to suffer a sudden adrenaline rush mixed with a rise in aggressive impulses, in other words he gets very strong and very angry, however sometimes he can be reasoned with” he said as he slowly approached his friend “Easy Clov…” he was cut off by a fist in the face knocking him back down, as he hit the ground he saw Elsie making a run for it towards the alley.

 

“ELSIE DON’T” he yelled as Clovis began to follow her, then out of the alley Sandi walked out looking annoyed.

 

“What is going on here?” She stopped when she saw the now maniacal Clovis charging towards her and Elsie.

 

Wasabi was about to get up when Quinn grabbed his arm and dragged him to the ground as a fireball shot overhead and appeared to hit Clovis.

…………………………………………………………….

At the same time as this the rest of the fireworks in Kevin’s jeep began to go off causing the whole thing to go off blowing the jeep onto its side.

…………………………………………………………….

Jake looked up from his paper as Helen looked up from her phone.

 

“Did you hear that honey?”  Jake asked

 

“I’m not sure Jakey” Helen responded then went back to her phone “What’s that Eric?  Yes we heard it as well.”

…………………………………………………………….

Wasabi and Quinn looked at the somewhat charred Clovis on the ground with a slightly singed Elsie and Sandi stood shocked behind him “Well that’s one way of knocking him down” Wasabi said after an awkward pause.

 

Then Clovis’s eyes opened and he leapt back to his feet yelling madly.

…………………………………………………………….

Tom looked up from under his hat to see the smouldering Jeep at one end of the car park while at the other end he saw what looked like Wasabi and Quinn.

 

“Daria are you ok?”  He asked concerned.

 

“Uhhg” She groaned “My head, what happened?”  She asked groggily.

 

“Some idiot set a bunch of fireworks off and I think blew his car up, anyway your safe and that’s what counts.”  Tom replied, he helped Daria up to her feet then heard a scream and looked up to see a charred Clovis stood in front of the others, “Oh no…its happened again” was all he said as he looked and saw Wasabi’s gun on the floor.

 

Daria watched in shock as Tom sprinted off and grabbed the gun on the floor, he continued to run until he was near the others, he then skidded to a stop, looking down so his cowboy hat covered his face and his arms by his side he said simply “over here…mate.”

 

Then as Clovis looked up distracted Tom swung his arm up and pulled the trigger as Kevin’s jeep exploded fully as the gas tank blew, the shock was enough to knock Toms hat off from where he was but he stayed standing as his friend hit the ground with a dart in his chest.

…………………………………………………………….

Daria was still looking in shock when she heard a familiar voice calling.

 

“DARIA?”  Jane yelled as she and Mack struggled to help what looked like an unconscious Jodie to her feet.

 

“What happened?”  Daria asked as she ran over to them.

 

“She passed out and we can’t wake her up” Mack said panicking slightly “This is bad, we may need to get her to a hospital.”

 

“Hmm” Daria thought for a few seconds “I think Tom could give us all a ride, I’ll go ask him” she said as she ran over to him.

 

Once she had gone Upchuck staggered up to Jane “My car keys please?”

…………………………………………………………….

Quinn and Wasabi still lay on the ground looking at the unconscious Clovis.

 

“Is he going to be alright?”  Quinn eventually asked.

 

“He’ll be fine once he wakes up,” Wasabi said as he stood up and offered a hand to help Quinn up “It’s a problem but it happens rarely so we try and watch out for him” Wasabi then turned his attention to Elsie and Sandi “You two ok?”

 

After a moment the two nodded slightly to which Wasabi replied “Good, guess we better get you cleaned up, I can give you a ride if you want?”

 

After nodding Wasabi let them both in his car and went to get Tiffany from the restaurant with Quinn, as they carried her between the two he asked, “So how was this as far as first dates go?”

 

Quinn smiled a little “well it was one to remember” she said as the placed the unconscious body onto the third seat.

 

Wasabi made sure no one was looking and handed a piece of paper to Quinn “Here, this is my number, if you ever need someone to talk to or anything then I’ll be willing to listen” he handed the number over quickly and got in the car.

 

Quinn looked at the paper for a moment and then got into the passenger side smiling.

…………………………………………………………….

At 10:30 Tom had left the hospital to tell Jodie’s parents what had happened, he knew her the least so he was uncomfortable being there, he had promised to come back and pick Daria up as soon as he could, he stood outside his car as the wind blew through his hair (He had given his hat to Daria sometime on the way) as he walked up to the Landon’s front door, tonight was not what he had expected.

…………………………………………………………….

At 11:00 the entire fashion club sat gathered in the house of the Sloane’s, Elsie had invited them over to clean up, Stacy had been called over since her date had ended and she was worried about her friends.

 

By the end of the night it was decided that Elsie would be made an honorary member of the club in exchange for using the house for meetings.

 

Elsie smiled as she thought how Tom would suffer for tonight.

…………………………………………………………….

Stephen helped Clovis into his house, as he was still woozy.

 

“Please tell me I didn’t hurt anybody,” He had mumbled.

 

“Don’t worry, except for punching that green haired guy I think it went better than could be expected…except for that explosion but that was a coincidence.” Stephen said as he sat Clovis down on the couch “you sure you will be ok?  I mean you did go crazy, get blown up and then shot.”

 

Clovis laughed and flinched a little “don’t worry yourself mate, I'm just a little sore like.  I’ll do some practice for a while and then I’ll be right as nine pence…whatever that means”

…………………………………………………………….

Daria, Jane and Mack left the hospital at 11:30 after it had been decided Jodie had just had an anxiety induced collapse, the blast was the straw that broke the camels back as they say.

 

“This is what I meant by Jodie needed a break” Mack said as they prepared to go their separate ways.

 

“Don’t worry Mack, we’ll help her relax sometime” Daria said, sometimes there was no place for sarcasm or deadpan comments she thought to herself.

 

“Yeah don’t worry, she’ll either relax or die trying” Jane said not sharing Daria’s thoughts “and I’ll buy what was left of the fireworks for Trent, he’ll love them at the next gig”

 

Daria said her goodbyes to her friends and turned to head over to Tom, who was waiting on the hood of his car, they didn’t need to say anything as they just embraced; it had been a long night.

…………………………………………………………….

Half an hour later they where parked up on a hill overlooking the town, they stood admiring the view for a while until eventually Daria spoke.

 

“So you got to be the hero tonight, you must be so proud” she said as she smiled.

 

“I guess, I would have rather just spent some quiet time with my girlfriend in all honesty” Tom said with a shrug, he then looked at Daria for a few seconds until he spoke again “when I heard that sound of fireworks going off I really panicked, guess my first instinct was to make sure you where safe, how is your head?”

 

Daria rubbed her forehead and removed the hat “Its fine thanks, here you go cowboy,” she said as she put the hat on his head, the two stood in silence for a while until they took each other in a kiss.

 

After they had finished they looked over at Tom’s car as the radio began to play something, ‘Is you Is or Is you Ain’t My Baby’ by Louis Jordan began to emanate from the radio.

 

Tom looked at Daria and smiled again, “you want to dance?”

 

Daria responded straight away “Sure.”

 

And they danced, while elsewhere in Lawndale the other actors in our play did their own things, Trent slept on the sofa as a figure in a red jacket spread a blanket over him, Quinn sat amongst her assorted clothes holding the paper with the number smiling, Jane painted like a thing possessed, and Clovis let off some steam by destroying various dummies with a Katana.  And Daria and Tom continued to dance…

 

The End.

…………………………………………………………….

Author’s notes:

 

Well that as fun, this story is the longest one I have written so far, it seemed to become a test of how many plots I could weave together as well as seeing if I could fit nearly every character in somehow, I also wanted to do a story without fighting as the main story and without kung-fu movie references, I hope I succeeded, please give me your feedback and comments on this labour of love to my usual address of mechahead@hotmail.com also any offers of fan-art would of course be greatly appreciated.  I would also like to thank; Steven Galloway, Mahna Mahna, Rlobinske, and Kirsten Bealer for the encouragement and advice given while I was writing this and everyone at ‘The Paper Pushers Message Board’ for all the other times.

 

Also as a bonus, here is the timeline I started work on halfway through to manage the story and also show what happened in what order.

ONIAIA Timeline:

5:30 Tom gets call from JD, after he leaves Elsie is sent to find him

5:45 Tom arrives at Clovis’s and leaves shortly after, Clovis accidentally hits Jeff, and Elsie arrives just as ambulance leaves

6:00 Daria and Quinn waiting for their dates, Tom turns up,

6:20 Daria and Tom watch TV together, JD and Clovis leave the hospital and make their way to the Millionaire express.

6:30 Tom and Daria leave as Wasabi turns up to meet Quinn, he gives her a ‘debriefing’ in regards to the night, Elsie arrives at the hospital,

6:45 Quinn is in Wasabi’s car, at the same time Jane rests at ‘the Zen’ wondering when to tell the others about Jesse, Daria and Tom keep looking at each other while the other isn’t watching

6:50 The band begin to play while Elsie’s car runs out of gas, Upchuck makes a pass at Jane and gets stage-dived in response.

7:00 Daria and Tom decide to get pizza, Clovis and JD arrive at the restaurant, and Wasabi gives Tiffany and Sandi a ride as well

Sometime between now and 7:15 Daria and Tom arrive at the pizza place and find it full of jocks.

7:15: Tom and Daria try to enjoy themselves but a rogue football spoils it, they decide to go to the cinema, at the same time Wasabi arrives with the FC at the restaurant

7:20 Mack tells Kevin to get rid of the fireworks he has bought, he then sees Daria leaving and goes to say hi, Max and Nick tar and feather Upchuck, Jesse is on the phone, at the same time Stephen phones someone while Maggie recognises her little sister.

7:25-30 Tom meets Mack while he is talking to Daria and the two leave for the cinema, Kevin stashes the fireworks in the trunk of Toms car, Elsie calls Jodie for a lift, for as yet unknown reasons Andrea is with her, at random intervals until 8:15 Jane takes photos of Upchuck, at one point getting 50 dollars from Bach for a portrait.

7:30-8:00 Jeff is still in hospital in a painkiller induced high, The FC discuss their dates in the bathroom while at the same time the guys do at the bar.  Wasabi and Quinn are the only ones enjoying themselves.

8:00 Tom and Daria have been enjoying the first half of the movie, then Ted and Stacy turn up causing Daria to lose hope

8:15: Jane begins to think about letting Upchuck down

8:20 the band finish their set as they meet Monique who tells them Upchuck has ‘come loose’ and is hanging on the sign

8:25 Elsie Jodie and Andrea enter ‘the Zen’ for a break, it turns out Elsie saw Andrea as she finished working the late shift at the mall and stopped a drunk Evan from bothering her until Robert carried him off, Jane comes back in and offers to show Jodie and Elsie how to get to the restaurant, Upchuck tries to follow them discreetly as Jane forgot to give him his car keys back when she gave him his clothes

8:30 Daria and Tom leave the cinema; unbeknownst to them Mack has made Kevin try to remove the fireworks but all he has done is dent the trunk (not that they notice)

9:00 the dates seem to be improving a little, Wasabi and Quinn are doing fine, while Clovis is managing to have a conversation with Tiffany in Mandarin, also ‘JD’ is somehow getting through to Sandi.

9:30 Daria and Tom go to the restaurant and leave once they see the people in it; they sit on the hood of Tom’s car just after Mack has managed to get the fireworks out of their car

9:45 Elsie arrives at the restaurant and begins harassing Clovis; Wasabi leaves for a ‘smoke’

10:00 Clovis begins to choke on something causing Elsie to give him diet cola to drink, this causes him to go crazy, Quinn tries to take him down but misses and hits Tiffany, Wasabi throws his ‘dog-end’ away as he goes to help which ignites the tar on a passing Upchuck who runs past Mack and Kevin who are loading the fireworks into his jeep, the fireworks go off, Tom pushes Daria to the ground while they pass; they demolishing Kevin’s jeep, causing Jodie to pass out from shock and Elsie and Sandi (who was in the alley making out with ‘JD’) to get singed/charred, Wasabi is punched in the confusion and his gun is knocked away, Tom grabs it and shoots Clovis, Daria agrees to get Tom to give Mack and Jane a lift to the hospital with Jodie.  Wasabi gives Quinn his phone number telling her if she ever needs someone to talk to he will listen.

10:30 Tom leaves to tell the Landons what has happened promising to wait for Daria outside the hospital (seeing as he doesn’t know Jodie that well he doesn’t feel right being there)

11:00 Elsie, and the FC (including Stacy who they phoned after she got home from her date with Ted) go to the Sloane house to clean up from the ash and stuff, Elsie is made an honorary member (Fielding division) in exchange for them being able to use her house for meetings.

11:30 Daria leaves the hospital with Jane, Mack and Jodie, they agree to help Jodie relax sometime, Jane buys the remaining fireworks from Mack for the next Spyral concert while Daria gets into the car with Tom.

00:00 Daria and Tom dance on a hillside while the various players go on with their lives (Jane paints, Trent sleeps on the couch, Quinn reads amongst her clothes, Clovis slices up a practice dummy with a katana) they dance to ‘Is you Is or Is you Ain’t My Baby’ by Louis Jordan.

 

And now for a gift to all you still reading:

The Epilogue:

 

A while after everyone had left the restaurant ‘JD’ walked up out of the alleyway, he flattened his hair down, put his glasses on and walked off a geek again, passing a guy in a Lawndale football shirt hugging the wreckage of a jeep…well tonight had been ‘different’ he thought.

…………………………………………………………….

At Cedars of Lawndale hospitable a doctor working the late shift looked at his clipboard before he finished, it had been a busy night he thought as he looked at the list of injuries that had been admitted over the last 6 or so hours, surprisingly all of them where teenagers and most had been sent home already.

 

 

The doctor sighed “Oh to be young again” he said as he headed off home.

…………………………………………………………….

Amy Barksdale was getting ready for bed when the phone rang, “Hello?”  She asked mildly annoyed.

 

“Hello Aunt Amy?”  She recognised her niece’s voice, it sounded like she was calling from a cell-phone, and she could hear the various sounds of the outdoors in the background.

 

“Daria?”  She was more than a little surprised “It’s nearly 2 in the morning, what do you want?”  Amy wondered if this was in some way connected with her sister Helen calling around midnight asking if she had heard from her daughter, Amy couldn’t really make out what she said as Jake was busy yelling about ‘Mad Dog’ and ‘Corporal Ellenbogan’ as usual and had stopped her hearing most of the conversation.

 

“I kind of need some help…” Daria said slightly nervously while in the background Amy heard someone slamming a car bonnet shut “It’s a long story…”

The End…Again.