by Erin Mills
La la LA la la...
Plus Ca Change
That's what they say
Life throws curves at you
And as you survive
Blocking the glare in your eyes
From the world around you
It's just more of the same
It's just more of the same
It's just more of the same
It's just more of the saaaaaaaammme...
(Opening sequence: We see Daria walking across the quad of a large University. We see her studying in her room, looking at the wall, then reaching behind her for a nine iron and slamming it against the wall a few times, then putting down the golf club looking satisfied. We see her behind the check out desk in the library, writing, when a huge stack of books is placed on the desk, delivered by the hand of Upchuck, with his usual grin. Daria shrugs and "accidentally" knocks the pile onto Upchuck's foot. We then see Daria in a computer lab set up with Jodie. It appears to be the office of the University paper, and Daria is placing the finishing touches on a column entitled "Daria's Reality Check." Finally we see Daria, at the desk in her dorm room, in her night clothes (T-shirt, and shorts) writing in her journal. She closes the journal and gets up from the desk. Close up on the journal. The label on the front of it reads "The Daria Chronicles" with the title of the current episode underneath it, in this case:)
(We open on the campus of Willmore University, focusing on the clock tower, which reads 11:45. The bells ring, and suddenly a horde of students begin to appear from the various buildings. We focus on one particular clot and we see Daria, a sheet of paper in hand and looking around bewilderedly. She stops to look down at the paper and another student plows into her, knocking her down. She looks up and glares at the retreating form.)
Daria: (VO) Daria's Rule of College #1: Class Schedules do not adhere to any known form of logic in existence. Where else are you going to find that you've signed up for an elective courses only to find that either the class or the classroom doesn't exist?
(Daria gets up from the walk and makes her way to a nearby building. A sign on the side reveals it to be the "Pollard Student Union" Cut to a large room with tables and chairs set up around it. A large archway leads to what appears to be a small cafeteria. We see Jodie sitting at one table a stack of books next to her. She is jotting notes down on a pad in front of her, while idly munching from a plate of french fries. Daria comes up to the table, puts her backpack on one of the chairs and sits down, opening a bottle of orange juice.)
JODIE: (looking up) Oh, hi, Daria. How are classes going?
DARIA: Over for the day, thank God. How is it that having less classes on a daily basis exhausts me more than having seven or eight classes one right after the other?
JODIE: Dumb luck? (smirks) Seriously, it's probably because you have to dash back and forth across a campus that's crammed up against the foothills of a mountain range all day.
DARIA: Damn near vertical university campus. (She looks at the pile of books) Please tell me that these aren't all for one class.
JODIE: You're partially right. Six of them are for my English Lit. course, while the others are for Business Admin.
JODIE: Hey, at least you got to take Gothic Lit. instead.
DARIA: Can I help it if Stephen King is a bigger draw than Chaucer and Shakespeare? Besides, it's not like I don't have my own schedule problems.
JODIE: What do you mean?
DARIA: My Creative Writing class apparently doesn't exist. I waited in the classroom for twenty minutes and no one showed up. No professor, no other students, nothing.
JODIE: Are you sure you were in the right room?
DARIA: I checked a couple of other classrooms and none of them were the right class. I even checked other permutations of the room number just in case it was a typo. No luck.
JODIE: That's really weird.
DARIA: Yeah. If the class has been cancelled, I'm out three credit hours and that's going to violate my scholarship agreement.
JODIE: You said you don't have anymore classes today, right?
DARIA: Yeah. Why?
JODIE: You should go talk to your advisor. They'll probably be able to tell you what happened and get you into a class to replace the credit hours.
DARIA: (sighs) I guess I'll have to. There's nothing else for it.
JODIE: Come on, what's the worst that could happen?
(Cut to Daria sitting outside an office. The name on the door reads "Dr. Karen Alvarez, English." From inside the office we can hear what sounds like the good doctor yelling at some hapless student.)
DARIA: (VO) Daria's Rule of College #2: No other member of the faculty is more terrifying than your Faculty Advisor. Not the dean of your school, not the president of the university, not even the person who founded the place. The main reason being that your Faculty Advisor has the authority to yell at you if they don't agree with your class choices for the semester, and if you want to change classes for any reason, they automatically assume that it's because you're either a) a slacker or b) an idiot.
DR. ALVAREZ: (OS) ...I don't CARE if you ARE a Phys. Ed. major! English 101 is REQUIRED...do you hear me? RE-QUI-RED!
(We now hear a very familiar voice answering her--)
KEVIN: (OS) But I'm the QB, Ms. A.
DR. ALVAREZ: My name, Mr. Thompson, is DOCTOR Alvarez. If you can't get that right, then get the hell out of my office!
DR. ALVAREZ: Sit down, Mr. Thompson. You're not going anywhere until we get your schedule organized!
KEVIN: But you just said I could go...
(Daria groans and rubs her temples)
DARIA: (VO) Case in point. Dr. Karen Alvarez, tenured English Professor. She's only in her mid thirties, according to her offical bio in the University Who's Who, but she has already managed to cultivate a personality that combines the rampant feminism of Ms. Barch with the near psychosis and low tolerance for intellectual midgets of Mr. DeMartino.
DR. ALVAREZ: NO! HOW MANY DAMN TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?! "WEIGHT TRAINING" IS NOT THE SAME AS "LITERARY GIANTS!"
DARIA: (VO) I'm doomed.
(The door opens and Kevin comes out with his usual dumb grin)
KEVIN: Thanks, Ms. A! Hope that headache goes away soon!
DR. ALVAREZ: OUT! JUST GET OUT!
(Kevin turns to go and spots Daria waiting outside the office.)
KEVIN: Hey, Daria! You going in next?
DR. ALVAREZ: (os) I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT, THOMPSON! AND TAKE YOUR FRIEND OUT THERE WITH YOU!
DARIA: (VO) Forget doomed. I'm dead.
KEVIN: Oh Daria's not a friend, Ms. A! We just went to the same high school.
DARIA: (VO) Thank you SO much, Kevin. (Out loud) Um, Kevin, I talked to Mack on my way up here, he said that there was an emergency meeting of the football team up at the stadium. It started ten minutes ago.
KEVIN: Oh my gosh! I gotta go! Coach is gonna kill me! Thanks Daria! (He rushes out)
DARIA: And so the lemming rushes to the sea.
DR. ALVAREZ: (from behind Daria) No, that would be insulting lemmings everywhere.
(Daria turns to see Dr. Karen Alvarez standing behind her. She is actually quite short, only an inch or two taller than Daria. She is in her mid thirties with shoulder length black hair tied back in a ponytail, and dressed in a printed skirt and brown sweater, a pair of glasses hang from a chain around her neck. She seems much calmer than before.)
DR. ALVAREZ: I thought I told him to take you with him.
DARIA: Um...I'm not his friend. He just--
DR. ALVAREZ: --Went to high school with you. My condolences.
DARIA: Yeah, unfortunately, he lives with my roommate's boyfriend, so I can't ever seem to get away from him.
DR. ALVAREZ: Ouch. (She holds out a hand) Dr. Karen Alvarez.
DARIA: (shaking her hand) Daria Morgendorffer.
DR. ALVAREZ: Come on in.
(They enter the office. It looks like your standard English professor's office. Overflowing bookshelves, binders, stacks of papers. Daria sits in front of the desk while Dr. Alvarez takes her seat behind the desk.)
DR. ALVAREZ: So, what can I do for you, Daria?
DARIA: Um...I showed up for my Creative Writing class and no one else did, including the professor.
DR. ALVAREZ: That's odd. (She punches up some information on the computer) What's the class number?
DARIA: (Reaching into her pocket for the class schedule) CW002-3817
DR. ALVAREZ: (entering the information) Ah..ha. I see...
DR. ALVAREZ: Professor Campbell decided it wasn't worth his time. The class was canceled this morning.
DARIA: This morning?
DR. ALVAREZ: Doesn't happen often, but it does happen...especially when Campbell thinks he has something better to do. I'm just surprised there wasn't a notice on the door.
DR. ALVAREZ: It what usually happens when a class gets canceled at the last minute.
DARIA: (slumping down in embarassment) um..IguessIdidn'tseeit...
DR. ALVAREZ: (looks up) Something wrong?
DARIA: Um..yeah...just feeling a little--
DR. ALVAREZ: (smirking) Stupid?
DR. ALVAREZ: Don't. I've been here for nearly fifteen years and I see about 50 freshmen every year who get caught out by that.
DR. ALVAREZ: Let's bring up your records here...(clickety click) Here we go. (beat) Hmmm.
DR. ALVAREZ: You have a very impressive academic record, Daria, considering you graduated from Lawndale High.
DARIA: (frowning slightly) Right.
DR. ALVAREZ: Don't take that the wrong way. I've met Angela Li once or twice, and I'm amazed whenever anyone gets out of that asylum with even a modicum of sanity and intellect intact. (looks again) And with a scholarship to boot.
DARIA: Yeah, that's the problem, Dr. Alvarez. If my Creative Writing class is cancelled, I'm three credit hours short for my scholarship requirements this semester.
DR. ALVAREZ: Well, we don't want that. Let's see... (clickety click) Nothing really available in the English Department that wouldn't be a waste of your time...Have you ever taken a theatre course?
DARIA: Um...I'm not really into performing much...
DR. ALVAREZ: You won't have to. There's an Intro to Theatre lecture course that has some openings. Mostly the history of the theatre, some play analysis. It isn't a performance course. In fact, you can get in on it today. It starts at 2 PM. I'll give you an Add/Drop card for Prof. Ferguson to sign, and you'll be set.
DARIA: Well, that sounds...all right.
DR. ALVAREZ: (Smirking again) Trust me, I have a feeling it'll grow on you.
DARIA: Like a fungus?
DR. ALVAREZ: Exactly.
(Both give small subdued laughs.)
(Cut to the exterior of the Neilson Performing Arts Center then to the interior. Daria is wandering around the opulent foyer of the building, which seems to be more like an actual theatre lobby than an academic building. She looks lost, and goes through a set of double doors which lead to the main auditorium.)
(Cut to the auditorium. Daria begins making her way down the aisles towards the stage. On the stage is a tall, bespectacled man in his mid-twenties with brown hair. He's dressed in a purple button down shirt and black jeans. He has a headset with a microphone and appears to be yelling at someone.)
MAN: Look, I don't give a damn how much it cost you! We can't use it...we can't USE it...Listen to me...Listen...Are you listening?....WE...CAN...NOT...USE...IT!
DARIA: Um...excuse me?
MAN: (to Daria) Just one sec...(into headset) Then get ANOTHER styrofoam cow! It's not that hard!
DARIA: Um...I hate to interrupt, but where can I find Prof. Ferguson's Intro to Theatre course?
MAN: (into headset) Yeah...yeah..yeah! Yeah, you DO that! (takes headset off) I swear, some days it's like a day care center around here. (to Daria) Sorry about that, what can I do for you?
DARIA: Um...I was looking for Prof. Ferguson's Intro to Theatre course.
MAN: Ah. You went through the wrong door when you came in. The classrooms are in the back. Here... (He holds out a hand and helps Daria up onto the stage. As she climbs up, she notices a wedding ring on his left hand.) Follow me.
(He leads her back stage to a pair of doors and opens the right hand one. We see a hallway leading into a more convetional college building setup.)
MAN: Just go down the hall, up the stairs and turn left. You'll run right into it.
DARIA: Oh. Okay, thanks uh...
MAN: Malcolm. Malcolm Kaiser.
DARIA: Daria Morgendorffer. (thinks for a minute) I know you've probably been asked this before...
MALCOLM: (sighing) Yes, Malcolm Kaiser was the name of the kid who offed himself in "Pump Up The Volume." I've heard it before.
DARIA: Actually, I was wondering where the restrooms were.
(Malcolm blinks and Daria smirks)
MALCOLM: (grins) Heh. Down the hall, up the stairs and to the right. (At that point, theres a squawk from the headset in his hand.) Damn! Sorry, I can't show you up there, but we're doing inventory.
DARIA: Or some semblance of it?
MALCOLM: Not even that. (grins again) See you around.
DARIA: Yeah. Thanks again.
(But Malcolm is already screaming into the headset and can't hear her. She shakes her head amusedly and makes her way up to the stairs.)
DARIA: (VO) Daria's Rule of College #3: Despite the inconveniences of Rules 1 and 2, college is a place where you can find plenty of like-minded individuals to associate with...when they aren't tearing their hair out dealing with a cluster of unlike-minded individuals--
(From offscreen we hear one final commentary from Malcolm:)
MALCOLM: (OS) NO! WE ARE NOT USING IT AND THAT'S FINAL!
DARIA: (VO) --not that they're any more sane than the people you wanted to avoid in high school.
(Daria finds the classroom and enters it. It hasn't begun yet. There's a class of about 25 students in the room...one of which is a surprise.)
(Mack looks up from the notebook he's thumbing through.)
(Daria sits down next to him, taking a notebook and pencil out of her backpack.)
MACK: What are you doing here? I didn't peg you as the drama type.
DARIA: I could say the same thing about you. I didn't know you were into this sort of thing.
MACK: What? Just because I'm on the football team, I can't appreciate the theatre?
DARIA: What? No, I didn't mean that...I mean, I don't know what you're into. We haven't exactly ended up in a lot of situations like this where it's just you and me talking.
MACK: (considers) True. Sorry I jumped down your throat.
DARIA: No problem.
MACK: So, what's up? I'm sure you would have mentioned if we had the same class.
DARIA: One of my classes got canceled at the last minute. My advisor recommended I take this one to make up for it.
MACK: Who's your advisor?
DARIA: Dr. Alvarez.
MACK: I think Kevin got her as an advisor too.
DARIA: I know. She was in a meeting with him when I got there.
MACK: How did she react?
DARIA: The usual reaction.
MACK: Remind me to send her a LARGE bottle of aspirin.
DARIA: (reaches into her pocket and gives Mack a couple of bucks) Here, call me a sucker for charitable causes.
(The door to the classroom opens and a middle aged man with a salt-and-pepper goatee and a receding hairline enters. He puts an overcoat and a satchel on the table at the front of the room and turns to the class.)
MID-AGE MAN: Good afternoon. I'm Dr. Randall Ferguson and this is Intro to Theatre. If you are not taking Intro to Theatre this semester...you have a serious problem with your sense of direction. (smiles and actually gets a couple of subdued laughs)
FERGUSON: (reaching into the satchel) I'll now be handing out the syllabus for this semester...oh yes, and you WILL need both of the books for this course; "The Hartford-Collins Theatre Omnibus" and "Theatre: Arts and History." Fortunately, you won't need them until next week, so for those of you who have burned through the student loan money already, you have time to beg your parents for more.
(Dissolve to the University Bookstore. Daria and Mack are roaming through the shelves looking for the books.)
MACK: (looking at the cards indicating which class the books are for.) 107, 106, 104B...
DARIA: 101...here it is.
(She pulls down the two books and flips them over to read the price tag. Her eyes widen.)
DARIA: A hundred and fifty dollars?!
(Back to the show. Rm. 113A. Daria is laying on her bed, flipping through some loose cash.)
(She sits up, puts the money into a bill clip and pockets it. She sighs in frustration and reaches for the phone. As she dials:)
DARIA: (VO) Daria's Rule of College #4: Textbooks are the work of the Devil. Nowhere else will you spend a ludicrous amount of money for information that is only of use to you for a ten to twelve week period, only to either a) sell it back for ten percent of what you paid for it or b) be stuck with it for the rest of your life.
(The phone rings on the other end. Split screen: Daria is on the right, and the phone is picked up at Chez Morgendorffer by Helen on the left.)
DARIA: Mom? It's me.
HELEN: Daria! How nice to hear from you. How is your first week of classes going?
DARIA: Not bad. That's kind of why I called...
(We hear Jake from offscreen)
JAKE: (OS) GAAHHHH! 500 dollars a bottle?!
HELEN: Sorry, sweetie, what was that? Your father just had some bad news.
DARIA: Um...well, the reason I called is--
JAKE: (OS) What the HELL are they trying to do? RAISE my blood pressure?!
HELEN: JAKE! I'm on the phone! Sorry, Daria. You were saying?
DARIA: One of my classes got canceled at the last minute and the class I'm taking to replace it requires two books. It..uh..comes to 150 bucks and I don't have enough for it. I was wondering if you could lend me the money?
JAKE: (OS) Lousy damn health insurance SHARKS! WHAT? DO THEY THINK I'M MADE OF MONEY?!
HELEN: JAKE! (to Daria) Daria, I'm sorry but your father's health insurance stopped covering prescriptions so the mohtly budget's tighter than usual. Until we get this mess sorted out, we won't really have a lot of cash to spare.
DARIA: Oh. All right...thanks anyway...
HELEN: You know, Daria, you might want to consider getting a job while you're there. It would take care of your financial situation and put a little extra money in your pocket, plus give you some important experience.
DARIA: Mom, I'm taking 18 credit hours this semester. When am I going to have time to go to a job?
HELEN: Well, maybe you can get something on campus. Those jobs always work around a student's class schedule.
DARIA: Yeah. I'll look into it.
HELEN: I'm serious, Daria. Give it some thought.
DARIA: Okay, Mom. Thanks.
HELEN: I know it'll be tough to start with, Daria, but this is where real life starts to intrude into your world.
DARIA: Send me an angel, please.
HELEN: (laughs) Will you be home this weekend?
DARIA: Not sure yet. I'm going to see what's happening around here.
HELEN: All right. We'll talk to you later. I have to go tranquilize your father before he sees the credit card bill.
DARIA: Okay. Bye.
HELEN: Bye, sweetie.
(Helen hangs up and Daria sighs)
DARIA: (VO) Daria's Rule of College #5: When your parents can't help you monetarily, and you like your friends and mistrust your associates too much to borrow money from them, employment is the only alternative...
(She flops back onto the bed and groans.)
DARIA: Lousy real world.
(Cut to the Willmore University cafeteria. Jodie, Daria and Chris are sitting at a table eating.)
DARIA: --so, there it is. I need a job and I need it fast.
JODIE: You know, Daria, I'd be happy to lend you the money if you need the books that soon.
DARIA: No...as much as I hate to admit it, my mom was right. I have to get a job. The question is, what?
JODIE: Red October's is hiring...
DARIA: No good. There's no guarantee they'll be able to work around my class and study schedule.
CHRIS: You know, Rarely, I was in the advisement center and saw a listing on the job board for the library. About 200 bucks a week, three days out of six.
JODIE: Sounds like it'd be right up your alley, Daria.
DARIA: Oh yes, shelving misplaced books left there by people who don't know what all the rectangular things are doing there.
DARIA: I know, I know.
CHRIS: You said you needed a job on campus, and from what I saw it was either that...or working with him. (She jerks a thumb over her shoulder into the serving area)
(Cut to one of the counters where we see Upchuck, in the ubiquitous apron and truly stupid paper hat that all male cafeteria workers are forced to wear, serving steaming hot chili to the latest in a long line of unwary young women.)
UPCHUCK: Hello, lovely lady, care to sample my goods?
(The girl looks ill. Cut back to Daria, Jodie and Chris.)
DARIA: All right, what do I--
UPCHUCK: (OS) YEEEAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!
(Upchuck goes running out of the cafeteria at high speed, his face covered in chili. All three look at the scene.)
CHRIS: Looks like Sir Lance-a-less tried his crap on the wrong person.
DARIA: How much did you pay her?
CHRIS: (innocently) I have no idea what you're talking about.
JODIE: Did you or did you not swear revenge after you caught him following you on your jog last week?
CHRIS: I'm above all that.
DARIA: Like the ocean is above the sky.
CHRIS: (sighs) Thirty bucks. You happy now?
DARIA: You were robbed. I would have done it for ten.
DARIA: So what?
JODIE: The library job?
(Daria sighs and turns to Chris)
DARIA: Where do I go to apply?
(Back to the show. We see an external shot of the J. Bellbooke Memorial Library. Cut to the interior. We see Daria walking along the shelves with an older woman, about 22, with a short bob-cut black hair, dusty jeans and a black T-shirt that's two sizes too big for her. The words "Crab Shrapnel" can be seen on the front of her shirt. Her name is Sue Wiggins.)
SUE: I'm glad you got the job, Daria. God knows that we needed more people who know what these things on the shelf here are.
DARIA: Oh, you mean the wall decorations?
(Sue gives her a look like she's not sure whether Daria's joking or not, then realizes she is.)
SUE: Exactly. Anyway, there's not a lot to this job. Paperwork, research, and replacing things.
DARIA: You sure?
SUE: Well, that's what it boils down to. Of course, the hoops you'll have to jump through to accomplish any of those goals varies in difficulty depending on how badly the gorillas--er--patrons screw things up.
DARIA: Like deciding a children's book goes in the medical section 5 floors down?
SUE: Or deciding that they just don't need to clean up a juice spill that ran into three separate aisles. Do you know how to use a mop?
SUE: Wow. Never met anyone who voluntarily learned to use a mop.
DARIA: Does using my sister's head as the mop count?
SUE: Only if it required extensive hair coloring afterwards.
(Daria smirks. Montage: We see Sue showing Daria the ropes. How to check out books, showing her the computer system. Taking her down into the "dungeon," where the Special Collections are kept. Offices are also down here, along with a break room. We see Daria actually helping people use the computers. Jodie comes up to the counter with an armful of books and Daria, without breaking a sweat or her usual expression, checks all 15 of them out in 12 seconds. Later, we see Daria pushing a cart down the aisle looking at the call numbers on the spines of the books, then up at the shelves in frustration..)
DARIA: (VO) Daria's Rule of College #6: You will never be able to decode the Library of Congress cataloguing system. Leave it to the government to take an easy method of organizing books and making it nearly impossible to find what you need.
(She puts a couple of books back, then wheels it around a corner...
...When she abruptly collides with something, spilling books onto the floor. Daria frowns and bends down to pick them up.)
DARIA: (muttering) Why can't people look where they're--
(She goes to the side of the cart and sees what...or rather, who...she ran into. A Japanese-American man in his late teens/early twenties dressed in jeans, a blue T-shirt and a vest pattern with neon squiggles. He is also in a wheelchair. He looks up at her and smiles.)
GUY: Look where they're going?
DARIA: (flustered) Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't see you down...er...over...
GUY: That's okay, few people see me. Down or over. Let me help you with those. (he leans over and picks up a couple of books)
DARIA: Oh no, I wouldn't want you to get hurt... er... I mean...
GUY: It's all right. I don't bruise easily.
DARIA: I didn't mean anythin...
GUY: S'all right. No harm done. You were just bowled over by my ride. (pats wheelchair)
GUY: Again, no problem. (gathers up books and hands them to her) My name's David, by the way. Are you new here?
DARIA: Yeah, and my name's Daria. I just started on Wednesday.
DAVID: I knew I hadn't seen you before, how do you like it?
DARIA: It's good work...
DAVID: But on the whole, you'd rather be in Philidelphia?
DAVID: Nothing. Yet another in a long line of smart-ass responses for uncomfortable pauses in conversation.
DAVID: I worked here for a year or so, before I got a job at the school newspaper. You meet lots of interesting people around here, but the shelves are murder to work with, even if you have two good legs.
DARIA: Tell me about it. i'm already getting chronic neck strain.
DAVID: The student store sells hand warmers that work well in getting rid of that.
DARIA: Thanks. I think I'll try that.
DAVID: (after a pause) Oh, but don't plan on getting your nails done anytime soon. All the female fashionplates that work here ever do is bitch about how getting the books into the shevles effect their 30 dollar nail jobs.
DARIA: We've got fashion plates?
DAVID: Only for a few weeks in the begining and end of each semester. They never last long after they realize the job involves actual work.
DARIA: Thank God. If I had to deal with another Fashion Club...
DAVID: Fashion Club? Oh no. Don't tell me you're one of them?!
DARIA: Damn. And I thought I had covered those neck implants.
DAVID: (grinns) Now you'll have to kill me. or erase my memory. And if you do the second one, please avoid any info that involves British Literature. That stuff's hard enough to get into my brain as is.
DARIA: I wouldn't do that...I'd use Waif.
DAVID: AIIIGHHH! EVIL! EEEEVIL!
(Daria gives one of her rare subdued laughs)
DAVID: (laughing and looking at his watch) Whoa! Damn. Have to go. Hydraulics course in ten minutes. Been nice talking to you, Daria.
DARIA: It's been...nice talking to you, David.
DAVID: I'll see you around. I'm usually here every other day.
DARIA: Good...I mean, cool.
DAVID: See you later.
(David wheels off. Daria watches him go. Dissolve to Room 113A. Once again, Daria is in her nightclothes and writing in her journal at her desk.)
DARIA: (VO) So that's the first week of classes at Willmore. Lots of changes in my life. New job, new friends...maybe even a new--no, don't start getting your hopes up, Daria. It's too soon for all that...
(Daria stops writing and looks up thoughtfully for a minute, then goes back to her writing.)
DARIA: (VO) But, not wanting to get into another relationship doesn't necessarily mean I wouldn't mine seeing David once in a while at work...or out on campus...or maybe--
(We fade out to the credits as she keeps writing.)
Jodie as Eliza Dolittle
Chris and Upchuck as Gomez and Morticia Addams
Mack as Richard III
Malcolm as Cecil B DeMille
Dr. Alvarez as Marie Antoinette
David as the Lincoln Memorial
Daria as Serendipity from "Dogma"
"Daria" and related characters are copyright (C) 2001 MTV Networks and Viacom International. "Willmore University" "Christine Sanchez" "Malcolm Kaiser" "David Kuromura" "Dr. Karen Alvarez" "Prof. Randall Ferguson" and all other related characters and locations are copyright (C) 2001 by Erin Mills.
Special Thanks to Leigh "Lio" Adamkeiwicz for all her help with the third act.