by: Kemical Reaxion


Jane's bedroom, daytime. Jane is standing at her easel, wearing her blue graduation gown. She's painting a large group of faceless students in graduation attire lining up in front of a firing squad. She now had bright red paint splatters all over the front of her gown. Voices can be heard off camera, coming from the hallway outside Jane's room. Daria is outside the bedroom talking to Andrea and Brittany.

Brittany: (VO) Wow, Daria. You sure look....different.

Daria: (VO) Thanks. That makes me feel much better. Andrea, are you SURE this is going to work?

Andrea: (VO) Trust me.

Daria: (VO) Famous last words.

Jane: (hearing the voices, sets her brush down) So are we all ready to... (turning and looking towards the doorway, looks shocked) Whoa! Daria! What happened to you?

Scene cuts to a shot of the group of girls standing in the doorway. The shot shows Andrea wearing a long black coat, thigh-high black boots and a short, blood-red dress. Brittany is wearing her cap and gown, and Daria can be seen only from behind, pulling on her graduation gown. Her cap is already on her head, and her long hair is pulled up and shoved underneath the cap, with only a few loose strands hanging down along her face. Due to the way she's turned away from the camera, we still can't see what she's wearing under the gown. She zips up the gown and sighs.

Daria: Patience, young Jane. All will be revealed. (beat, looks apprehensive) Can we just get this thing over with?

Andrea: (grabs her own gown off Jane's bed and flings it over her shoulder) Alright then. Let's do this!

Cut to...

The LHS football field, daytime. The Lawndale High graduating class, all decked out in their blue caps and gowns, are seated in rows of metal folding chairs out on the field. A stage is set up in the middle of the field, and all the family, friends, and guests are seated in the stands.

Cut to shots of various families in the stands as a muffled, intelligible voice can be heard over the loud-speakers.

The Lane family. Amanda and Trent are the only ones present. Trent is leaning on his mother's shoulder, asleep. Amanda is looking down at him with a contented smile.

The Landons. The whole family is present, minus Jodie of course. Michelle is holding Evan on her lap as she talks irately into a cell phone. Andrew is busy talking to the man sitting next to him about a recent football game. The other children are fidgeting, looking extremely bored.

The Taylors. Ashley-Amber is looking at the graduation program, pretending to read it. She's holding it upside down. Brittany's little brother is down on the ground squashing bugs with his index finger while her father sits impatiently tapping his foot.

Finally, the Morgendorffers. Helen has a stack of papers on her lap and is scribbling something furiously in a notepad. Jake is next to her, digging in his ear with his little finger. Quinn is making the most of this situation by flirting with the three guys in front of her.

Cut back to a shot of the stage where Ms. Li is standing at the podium, speaking. O'Neill, DeMartino, and Barch are seated behind her.

Li: Graduates, as you stand on the threshold of this brand new world, remember to take with you the valuable lessons you have learned from your years here at Lawndale...

Her voice becomes muffled again and trails off as the camera cuts to Daria sitting out in the middle of the throng of blue-clad students. She is leaning forward slightly, talking to Jane, who is seated directly in front of her. Daria is, of course, wearing a yellow "honors" sash and corresponding yellow tassel. Jane is not, but she does have the words "BITE ME" spelled out on the top of her cap in masking tape. She is turned around in her seat talking to Daria.

Jane: That was some speech you gave, valedictorian.

Daria: You knew I just couldn't resist giving one final parting shot.

Jane: That's why I'm proud to call you my friend. I was just surprised you didn't flip off everyone before leaving the stage.

Daria: Believe me, the thought had crossed my mind. But I think I'll save that for when I graduate from COLLEGE.

The girls turn their attention back to Ms. Li's closing speech.

Li: (continuing) as you go traveling down life's highways, recall with fondness the great times you had and wonderful people you met...

Jane: Or the great times you met and wonderful people you had.

Li: ...go forth, young people...

Daria: And multiply.

Li: long...

Jane: And prosper.

Li: well, be happy...

Daria: And may the force be with you.

Li: Congratulations, Graduates! (the audience applauds)

The students around them stand and throw their hats in the air, screaming enthusiastically. Jane and Daria stand after a moment. Jane takes off her hat, tosses it a few inches into the air and lets it fall back into her hands.

Daria: (deadpan) Yippee, hooray.

Jane: (sticking her hat under her arm) Gee, Daria, I'd have thought you'd be a little more excited about getting out of this place for good.

Daria: Excited? You really DON'T know me, do you? (Jane shrugs)

The band starts playing the Alma Mater as the people in the stands start filing out onto the field to congratulate the graduates. Jane, upon hearing the music, gets a sly grin on her face.

Jane: Daria, they're playing our song.

Daria: The Alma Mater? (grins a little as well) Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Jane: Shall I?

Daria: Please do.

Jane clears her throat and begins singing along with the band.

As we go traveling down life's highways
Trying to forget this horrid tale
Of the hellish, pointless days
We wasted painfully here at Lawndale

Ten years from now, when we meet again,
Those of you who aren't still in jail
Will paste on a fake smile and pretend
We were the best of friends at ol' Lawndale

Jane: Through all my naps, Lawndale...

And your crap, Lawndale,
We shoot the bird, Lawndale, to thee.

Jane: Through every class, Lawndale...

Daria: My ass, Lawndale...

Jane & Daria: Will quickly flee, Lawndale, from thee.

The band finishes up the song. The girls, pleased, turn to find Tom, Trent and Jesse, who were all standing behind them listening to them sing. All three guys seem rather impressed.

Tom: (grins) Funny, that's not how I remember the Lawndale Alma Mater.

Trent: I liked your version better.

Jesse: Yeah.

Daria: Thanks. It somehow seemed appropriate.

As the group is standing around, Andrea walks up. She has already shed her cap and gown and has the gown flung over her arm.

Daria: (acting a bit nervous) Oh, hey, Andrea.

Andrea: Hey. (whispers to Daria) Seen Stacy yet?

Daria: (whispering) Not yet.

Andrea nods and backs off, glancing around the field for Stacy. Daria looks around too, nervously pulling at the sides of her gown.

Cut to...

The football field. Mack, Jodie, Kevin, and Brittany are standing around in their caps and gowns. Jodie is also wearing the honors sash. Kevin is tossing his cap in the air over and over while Brittany is staring down at her diploma cover.

Brittany: Wow, this is so exciting! I finally have a diploma! I can't believe I'm a high school graduate!

Mack: (mumbles) Neither can I.

Jodie: You know, Brittany, that's not actually your diploma. That's just the holder you put it in. You have to wait to get your grades first before you get your diploma.

Brittany: Really? Bummer!

Kevin: Hey, babe. Don't worry. You'll pass. You're a cheerleader. The teachers ALWAYS pass cheerleaders and quarterbacks!

Mack: Only because they don't want to see you again NEXT year. (Jodie smiles)

Brittany: (to Kevin, short) Oh! So you're saying I couldn't pass on my own? That I'm not SMART enough or whatever to make the grade by myself? Is THAT what you're saying?

Kevin: I TOLD you, babe. Smart doesn't matter! (Brittany glares at him) I mean...awww, man!!!!

Brittany takes her cap off and throws it down at Kevin's feet. Then she turns around in a huff and walks off. Kevin runs after her.

Kevin: Wait a minute! Where are you going? (exits)

Jodie: Some things never change.

Cut to...

The first group again. Stacy comes up between Andrea and Daria. Jane, Trent, Tom and Jesse are still standing around talking, and they don't really notice Stacy's presence. Stacy is wearing a tight-fitting blue midriff with a short black skirt and blue tennis shoes. Her usually braided hair is down and she's also wearing a pair of dark oval sunglasses.

Andrea: (whispers to Stacy) Is everything set up?

Stacy: (whispers, excitedly) Everything's perfect. I'm so excited! I can't wait to see the look on his face...

Daria: (whispers, interrupting) I can't believe we're actually doing this.

Andrea: (to Daria) Are we ready?

Stacy: (to Daria) Just say the word!

Daria: (sighs, reluctantly) it goes. (returns to the group) Excuse me, guys?

Jane: Yeah?

Daria: We have a little surprise.

Jane: Uh-huh. (whispers) So, is this where everything is "revealed"?

Daria: In a manner of speaking.

Trent: Cool. What kind of surprise?

Andrea: Follow us.

Cut to...

The stage at the middle of the field. Next to the stage, the jazz band has abandoned their instruments. There is a drum set, some guitars, amps, and other various instruments, set up. Andrea sits down at the drums and Stacy goes to fiddle with the amps a little. Then, she grabs a guitar. Daria takes off her cap and tosses it onto the ground. Her long hair falls down over her shoulders, and we see that she has a streak of purple hair along her left side, framing her face. She stands there for a moment by her guitar, looking down at her graduation gown nervously.

Stacy: (to Daria) Go on, Daria. You can do it.

Daria: No...I can't.

Director: (from off-screen) Oh, yes you can! Remember, Daria. We had a deal!

Daria: I knew that damn deal would come back to haunt me.

Daria slips off her glasses and sets them on top of an amp. Reluctantly, she slowly unzips her graduation gown and slips it off over her shoulders. Her friends look on in amazement as she reveals what she's wearing underneath. The camera starts at her feet and slowly pans up. First, we see her black heals, then the camera pans up to reveal bare legs. A further pan shows she is wearing an ultra-short black leather skirt. The top she is wearing cuts off right above the belly button. The top is black with a wide green stripe down the middle, no sleeves, and a low rounded neckline. She has fake tattoos on her upper arms. Finally, pan up to her face and cut away to show her entire form, standing there in her sexy, alternative outfit.


Jodie: Daria??

Mack: Wow.

Kevin: Alright!! (Brittany punches him in the stomach)

Jesse: Cool.

Tom: (to Jane) You think she'd let you borrow that outfit later?

Trent is standing, wide-eyed, but hasn't said a single word. Perhaps he is too stunned for words. Daria bends down and picks up her guitar, slinging the strap over her shoulder. Stacy, sensing Daria's uncertainty, speaks up for her.

Stacy: Hi, I'm Stacy. And we're Sister Sludge.

Jane: Sister Sludge?

Stacy: That was Andrea's idea.

Tom: Surprise, surprise.

Stacy waits for a few moments for Daria to say something, but when she doesn't, Stacy continues.

Stacy: Umm...we just wanted a song or something. You ready girls?

Andrea: Yup.

Daria: (taking a deep breath) Yeah, I guess.

Andrea starts them off, banging on the drums like an old pro. Then, Stacy comes in on bass and Daria on her guitar. They're playing "You're The One That I Want," only in a drastically different style from the original song. The song is almost unrecognizable because it's so hard rock now. They play it instrumental, with no words. Quite a large crowd has gathered around them, and they all seem as stunned as Daria's friends. The band is really good though, and Daria, while not playing anything terribly intricate or involved, performs perfectly. The whole group looking on is very pleased as they listen. Trent and Jesse take out lighters and start waving them in the air.

Cut to...

The stands. As the people are filing out onto the field, Jake hears the music and looks to the stage to see where it's coming from. He's squinting like he's trying to tell who's playing.

Jake: (a bit whiny) I thought this whole thing was over with.

Helen: So did I. Where's that music coming from?

Quinn: Oh my god! (pointing to the stage) That's Stacy!!

Helen: Hey, you're right. And that looks like one of Daria's friends on drums. Andrea, I think.

Jake: (remembering his meeting with Andrea, shudders) Ooooo....

Quinn: But who's that other one?

Jake: She's really good.

Helen: (after a moment, it hits her) Dear God! That's Daria!!

Jake: What? My little Daria??

Quinn: Really? (smiles, whispers to herself) You go, girl.

Cut to...

The stage. They're about halfway through the song. Ms. Li pushes her way through the crowd and attempts to stop what's going on.

Li: What the HELL is going on here? Put those instruments down. That's school property! (spots Jodie, who is grinning and tapping her foot to the music) Ms. Landon! Get up there and make them stop this instant. This is totally uncalled for.

Jodie: Oh, sit on it, Ms. Li. You can't tell me what to do anymore.

Ms. Li is struck speechless. After a moment of stunned silence, she makes her way back through the crowd and off the field. Jane smiles at Jodie approvingly. The band continues to play. As they are finishing up the song, dissolve to the next scene.

The whole gang is standing around out on the field. Daria, still in her alternative gear, looks a little more relaxed than before. Stacy, Andrea, Jane, Tom, Jesse, Trent, Jodie, Mack, Brittany, and Kevin are all standing around too.

Jodie: I had no idea you could play like that, Daria.

Daria: Neither did I.

Jane: Oh, come now. Don't be modest.

Tom: Yeah. You kicked some major ass out there.

Daria: Well...maybe a very SMALL ass.

Quinn walks up to the group.

Quinn: (clears her throat) Uh...Daria?

Daria: Yes?

Quinn: You, know, like...pretty good...up

Daria: (smiles slightly) Thanks, Quinn. (beat) How are Mom and Dad taking it?

Quinn: They thought you were great. Until they figured out it was YOU.

Daria: And they haven't had a stroke yet?

Quinn: Not YET. (notices Stacy) Stacy! You were awesome!

Stacy: Thanks, Quinn! It was SO fun!

Quinn and Stacy start to walk away together.

Quinn: Where'd you learn to play?

Stacy: Well, my older brother was in a band... (their voices trail off as they walk away)

Jodie looks around at her friends. Mack is at her side with his arm around her shoulders. Tom and Jane are standing together, holding hands. Brittany is standing with her arms around Kevin's waist. Andrea for once isn't smoking and looks more contented than she ever has. Jesse, Trent and Daria are all standing around her as well. Jodie smiles.

Jodie: Isn't it great to have the whole gang back together again?

Mack: It really is.

Brittany: It's great to BE back, too. I missed it so much!

Kevin: I missed YOU, babe!

Brittany: Oh, Kevvy!

Jane: (smirks) This is SO touching. I'm on the verge of tears.

Daria: (deadpan) Oh, yes. My emotional floodgates are just bursting wide open. (the others stare at her expressionless face for a moment) It's more of an internal thing.

Jane: So what happens now?

Mack: What do you mean?

Jane: What if we never see each other again? We all go off to college (look at Kevin and Brittany) or WHEREVER. Scattering across the globe. Who's to say we won't just lose touch?

Jodie: That'll never happen.

Brittany: Yeah! We'll ALWAYS be friends.

Kevin: Like the three musketeers.

Daria: The three stooges seems more likely.

Jodie: Brittany's right. We'll always be together, no matter what.

The music starts up for the final song.

Daria: Uh-oh. I feel a song and dance number coming on.

Jane: Abandon ship!

While the others start singing and dancing to "We Go Together" out in the middle of the field, Daria, Jane, Tom, Trent, Jesse, and Andrea all step off to the side. They watch as Jodie, Mack, Brittany and Kevin all start dancing, then the rest of the various students milling around join in as well. In the background, we can see Upchuck, Stacy, Quinn, and other students as well as several teachers (O'Neill, Barch, etc.) all joining in for the big dance number.

We go together like rama lama lama ka dinga da ding dong
Remembered forever as shoo bop sha wadda wadda yippity boom de boom
Chang chang chang-itty chang shoo bop
That's the way it should be, wha oooh yeah!

The singing and dancing continues as the camera focuses on the group of non-singers sitting on the grass.

Daria: What exactly IS a 'yippety boom de boom' anyway?

Jane: I'm pretty sure that's Brittany's middle name.

Daria: Uh-huh. And let me guess. Kevin's the 'dip da dip da dip.'

Jane: Either that or the 'rama lama ding dong.'

Daria: You're saying there's a difference?

Jodie runs up to them, still dancing, trying to get them involved in the whole thing.

Jodie: Hey, you guys! Why aren't you out there dancing with the rest of us?

Daria: I have a bad knee.

Jane: Old football injury.

Jodie: C'mon! It'll be fun!

At the mention of the word 'fun,' Jane and Daria shoot back an 'are you kidding' look. Jodie gives up on them, looking over at Trent.

Jodie: What about you, Trent? Don't you dance?

Trent: Only under certain circumstances.

Jane: Like when he's under hypnosis...

Daria: After being kicked in the head by an angry mule...

Trent: Several hours into a kegger, right before I pass out, when someone dares me to dance on the coffee table wearing nothing but a kilt and a pink feather boa...

The girls look over at Trent in shock. Their eyes are wide and their jaws are hanging open, unable to think of anything to say. Trent looks at them guiltily, realizing he's said a little too much.

Trent: Hypothetically.

Jodie turns and rejoins the dancers, speechless as the song continues. Daria looks over at Jane, whispering.

Daria: That's a little more than I wanted to know.

Jane: Hey, it got rid of Jodie Joiner, didn't it?

Jesse: (after a beat) I'm hungry.

Jane: What else is new?

Tom: (gestures toward the dancers) Watching all that strenuous activity give you an appetite, big guy?

Jesse: Yeah. (stands) I think I'm gonna grab some pizza.

Andrea: Me too. This place gives me the creeps.

Jane: Sure, why not? I haven't reached my cheese quotient for the day. (she, Andrea, and Tom stand) You coming Daria?

Daria: Nah. I've had enough cheese today to last a lifetime. I think I'll just hang around here for awhile.

Jane: You're not getting nostalgic already, are you?

Daria: For this hell hole? Please.

The group starts to walk off. Jesse notices Trent is still sitting.

Jesse: Trent?

Trent: You go ahead. I'm gonna stick around too. (Jesse shrugs and the group continues offscreen)

Daria: So do you think Jane was right about losing touch after graduation?

Trent: I don't know. She could be wrong.

Daria: Yeah. It HAS happened once or twice before.

Trent: Jesse and I kept in touch after WE graduated, so why should this be different?

Daria: Because I'm moving out of state to go to college. And so are Jodie and Mack. And Jane's moving clear across the country to attend the Academy of Arts and Design. This IS a little different.

Trent: I suppose so. Besides, I don't think ANY of us are very good about writing letters.

Daria: No, I don't guess we are.

Trent: (after a beat) You know, you look really good in that outfit, Daria.

Daria: Oh...thanks.

Trent: You play a pretty mean guitar, too.

Daria: Please, you're embarrassing me.

Trent: (thinking for a moment, tone turns serious) You know, you didn't have to do it.

Daria: Do what?

Trent: Change.

Daria: Oh?

Trent: Don't get me wrong, I like the new look and everything. The alternative Daria. doesn't really change anything. Between us, I mean.

Daria: (looks down) Oh. (beat) I guess it was silly, huh?

Trent: No, I'm glad you did it. It made me realize something very important. Something I've known for awhile but didn't really think much about before now.

Daria: What's that? Don't wear a leather skirt when it's 90 degrees outside?

Trent: (laughs/coughs) See...that's what I'm talking about. I've realized that there's so much about you that I don't know. That NOBODY knows. But it's something worth learning. (reaches over and tilts her chin up so he can see her face) You spend all your energy hiding behind a wall of sarcasm, but there's another side to you. You're funny, creative, interesting, kind, sensitive. (Daria, a bit uncomfortable, looks away) Beautiful. (Daria blushes) You have alot to offer, Daria. You're a really special girl....special WOMAN. You don't need to change.

Daria sits in silence for a long time, not sure what to say. She looks away and stares down at her feet, shuffling one foot back and forth on the grass. Finally she speaks up, after clearing the lump in her throat.

Daria: That was a really sweet thing to say, Trent. Thank you.

Trent: So, you'll keep in touch when you move away?

Daria: Of course. You?

Trent: Absolutely. But, uh...

Daria: No letters, right?

Trent: (grins) You know me too well.

Daria: (laughs slightly, breaking the tension) Just promise you'll call me.

Trent: I promise.

The two turn back to watch the crowd of students and teachers making idiots of themselves. The song is close to ending, and the camera pans back to reveal a full view of the scene from farther away. We can see Daria and Trent sitting on the ground, their backs to the camera, watching the dancers. As the singers start repeating the words "we'll always be together," Trent slips his arm around Daria's shoulders, and she leans into him a little. Then, the song ends, and the reprise of the opening credits song, "Cheese," starts playing as the credits roll.


Act I | Act II | Act III | Act IV | Act V | Endnotes