daria

in

“Quinnderella”

NOTE: This is a crossover/parody story – a genre I don’t usually like, because it’s very rarely done properly, keeping the characters in character. I hope to be successful.

Among the best crossovers I’ve seen are: Back to the Future! Again! Part I (much like the real movies, I find parts 2 and 3 a little weak. Not the author’s fault – the source material was no good.) By Milo Minderbender.

One-Band Town (Based on South Park – this one had me rolling.) By Danny Bronstein.

Sarcasm of Titanic Proportions (The best of them all – this is the crossover that all others should be measured against.) By Matt.

CAST:

Quinnderella	Quinnderella Morgendorffer
Prince(s)	Joey, Jeffy, and Jeremy Jamie
Wicked Stepmother	Linda Griffin
evil Stepsisters	Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy
Fairy Godmother	Helen Morgendorffer
King	Anthony DiMartino
Prime Minister	Timothy O’Niell
Captain of the Guard	Kevin Thompson
Narrators	Daria and Jane
As Themselves	The Gupty Kids

OPENING CREDITS AND TITLES

INT: TAD AND TRICIA GUPTY’S ROOM

Daria is working on getting the Gupty kids to bed, with Jane offering assistance.

Jane:	You owe me hugely for this, Morgendorffer.
Daria:	We agreed. You get half the proceeds, plus a ten-dollar bonus because you met the parents. We shook on it.
Jane:	We agreed on the monetary settlement, dear.
Tad:	I like having you here, Jane. You’re fun to color with.
Tricia:	I never knew crayons could do neat things like that.
Jane:	It works better on an electric stove.
Tad:	Natural gas is a cleaner energy source.
Daria:	You both remember the rules from last time, right?
Tad and Tricia:	“We didn’t hear about it from you.”
Daria:	Where did you hear about it?
Tad and Tricia:	“The neighbor’s TV.”
Daria:	Very good.
	The kids, resplendent in pajamas featuring various endangered species, jump into bed.
Tricia:	Could you tell us a story tonight?
Tad:	I want to hear Cinderella!
Tricia:	We’ve heard that a hundred times, Tad! It’s Quinnderella’s favorite story.
Jane:	I suspect that the fate of Cinderella’s sisters plays into that.
Daria:	Or having a magical fairy help her dress for a party.
Tad:	I want to hear Cinderella.
Tricia:	Tad, we hear that story all the time!
Tad:	But I want to hear it the way Daria tells it!
Tricia:	Yeah! Daria, could you tell us the real story of Cinderella?
Daria:	I told you last time: Cinderella skipped the ball and asked her fairy Godmother to make her the first woman president.
Tad:	Come on, Daria, we know you can do better than that.
Daria:	(rolls eyes) Jane? Help me out here?
Jane:	It starts like this: Once upon a time…
Daria:	Jane, I know where you sleep, and I can cut you.
Tad and Tricia:	Pleeeeease?
Daria:	Oh, okay.
Tad and Tricia:	Yay!!

EXT: Clouds and Green Hills

In a long helicopter shot, the camera sweeps down through the clouds towards a castle in the distance.

Daria:	(VO) Once upon a time –
Jane:	(VO) Tuesday, specifically.
Daria:	– there was a kingdom nestled among green valleys. Like most kingdoms, this one had an artificial class structure which pretty much determined from moment one of your life whether you’d be royalty, or whether you’d spend your days crawling in the dirt competing with rats for food.
Jane:	A tradition carried on to this very day in high schools across the nation.

CUT TO – a reasonably rich home with a large garden and a view of the castle.

Daria:	Our story concerns one of these dirt-scrabblers. She lived with her stepmother and stepsisters, who had fallen prey to the stereotype that has plagued non-traditional families ever since by being mean and nasty to the poor girl. Her name was –
Jane:	Quinnderella.
	Quinnderella appears on the scene, lugging a bucket of water from the well. She’s dressed very unfashionably in a plain maid’s dress.
Daria:	Jane, you’re on very thin ice.
Jane:	Come on, Daria, let’s have a little fun with this story.
Daria:	Just for that, I’m going to write a story where you and Kevin run away together.
Jane:	Anyway, Quinnderella was compelled to work like a slave from sunup until sundown so that her stepsisters could concentrate on being popular and fashionable. Her stepmother was simply a lazy cow way past her prime.
Linda:	(OS) Quinnderella! Get in here right now!
	Quinnderella runs into the house, sloshing water all the way.

INT: House

Linda Griffin, AKA Stepmother, is standing in the kitchen tapping her foot impatiently. She’s dressed in a moderately fancy black gown and gaudy jewelry

Linda:	Where the hell have you been, you little wench? I’ve been waiting almost three and a half minutes for that water. I was beginning to think you’d fallen in, but I knew I couldn’t be so blessed.
Quinnderella:	But stepmo-OM, it’s so far to the well and the bucket’s so heavy and my shoes are ruined from coming through that muddy garden –
Linda:	Stop that godawful whining! Sometimes I really don’t know why we keep you around. Now, get that water on the fire and start heating it to exactly ninety-seven degrees for my footbath this instant, or I’ll give you something to whine about!
Quinnderella:	Yes, stepmother. (sigh)
Linda:	And when you’re done with that, get another bucket in here so you can scrub up that mess you made with your muddy shoes.
Quinnderella:	Yes, stepmother. (quietly) Bitch.
Jane:	But, as awfully as Quinnderella was treated by her stepmother, it couldn’t compare to the treatment she got from her stepsisters.
Daria:	Because everyone knows, parents can push you only so far. Real torture requires a sibling.

INT: Upstairs bedroom

Sandi, Stacy, and Tiffany, each in a typical renaissance rich-woman’s dress, are standing about. Sandi looks peeved, Stacy looks worried, and Tiffany looks vacant.

Sandi:	Quinnderella! Quinnderella!!! Ooh, she’s going to pay for this one.
Stacy:	What did she do this time?
Sandi:	It’s my shoes! They’re supposed to be lined up in order from pinkest to not-pinkest, and they’re clearly lined up according to how blue they are!
Tiffany:	That is sooooo wrong…
Sandi:	Tell me about it. Just wait until I get my hands on her.
Quinnderella:	(coming up the stairs) I’m coming! I’m coming! (bursts into the room, hanging onto the doorframe for balance) What – pant – what is it, dear stepsister?
Sandi:	Quinnderella, just look at the mess in this closet.
Quinnderella:	What’s wrong with it?
Sandi:	Stacy, please tell Quinnderella what’s wrong.
Stacy:	(consults notes) Ummm… Sandi thinks that her shoes aren’t sorted right.
Quinnderella:	But I did sort them, Sandi, I swear!
Sandi:	Quinnderella, I distinctly remember what I asked you to do with my shoes. Perhaps you weren’t paying attention at the time.
Quinnderella:	But I did, Sandi, I sorted them from pinkest to non-pinkest just like you said!
Sandi:	Are you implying, Quinnderella, that I can’t tell when my shoes are sorted properly and when they are not? Or are you suggesting that there’s a better way to sort them?
Quinnderella:	Oh, Sandi, I would never suggest that!
Sandi:	Then perhaps you could explain what you see in the closet that somehow my sisters and I are unable to see?
Quinnderella:	I sorted them with the very pinkest shoes here on the left side, and all the way down here on the right side are the very not-pinkest shoes… see?
Sandi:	Mm. I see. Well, that explains it then. (Sandi tips the large shoe rack over so that the shoes are spilled all over the floor) I would prefer to have them go right to left, if you don’t mind. Make sure it’s done by tonight, I have an important rendezvous tonight with Lord Schuyler.
Quinnderella:	Yes, Sandi. (she gets on her hands and knees and begins to pick up the shoes)
Tiffany:	I’m having a rendezvous too… make sure my blue dress is ready for me…
Quinnderella:	Of course, Tiffany.
Stacy:	Uh… Quinnderella, if it’s not too much trouble, I… could-you-do-my-hair-for-me-tonight-thank-you. (Stacy leaves the room to join Sandi just outside)
Sandi:	Stacy, what have I told you about keeping Quinnderella in her place?
Stacy:	I’m sorry, Sandi! I’ll try harder, I promise!
Sandi:	See that you do.
Tiffany:	Yeah…
Stacy:	Eep!
Quinnderella:	-sigh-

EXT: Quinnderella’s house

During the scene, the camera pans up and over to the castle

Jane:	This was pretty much a typical day for Quinnderella. But it wasn’t a typical day for the rest of the kingdom.
Daria:	You see, The King was getting ready to retire, having been worn out from years of comfort, elegance, rich food and wine, luxury, and the responsibility of running the kingdom.
Jane:	He was ready to move on to the comfort, elegance, rich food and wine, and luxury and let someone else handle the hard part for a while.
Daria:	Just so you know in advance, Jane, if you make Trent the Prince, I will kill you with your own putty knife.
Jane:	Set up Quinn with Trent? Please, he has more taste than that.
Daria:	Anyway, the King –

CUT TO: Interior, throne room

DiMartino (the King) sits tensely on the throne, his eye quivering

Daria:	– called his sons to him to determine who would take over the kingdom for him
DiMartino:	WHERE are those WORTHLESS little MORONS that I somehow managed to SPAWN?
O’Niell:	(approaching from behind) Your Highness, please consider your royal blood pressure! The young princes will be along in a moment, I sent the Captain of the Guard after them not half an hour ago… Oh dear, that is rather a long time, isn’t it.
DiMartino:	Let me get this straight. You sent WHO to get my IDIOT SONS?
Kevin:	(in full captain’s uniform with shoulder armor) Hey, did I hear someone call for me? I’m the Captain!
DiMiartino:	I assume, Captain, that your total lack of CONCERN over your own PERSONAL WELL BEING indicates that you’ve CARRIED OUT my Prime Minister’s INSTRUCTIONS – and brought those three CRETINS who were, by some chance, born with royal BLOOD (eye pops out fiercely) in their veins???
Kevin:	Umm… nope.
DiMartino:	Captain… let us PRAY that our kingdom is never ATTACKED by anyone, thus COMPELLING you to actually LEAD an ARMY into BATTLE to DEFEND US!!
Kevin:	Sure thing, King! Hey… that rhymed! Cool.
O’ Niell:	(Before DiMartino can have a stroke) Oh, here they are, your majesty!
	(sound of breaking glass offscreen)
Princes:	(arguing together) Hey, that was probably expensive! Well, you knocked it over! No I didn’t it was him!! I didn’t go near the thing!
DiMartino:	SONS!! Get OVER here!!
	Enter - Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie, each wearing typical 15^th century royal outfits, with fencing swords at their sides. Each of them has hair something like Prince Valiant – meaning Jamie actually doesn’t look any different than usual.
Jeffy:	Hey, Dad, did you need something?
Joey:	Only can you make it quick, ‘cause, like, there’s some milkmaids in the back garden waiting for us.
Jamie:	Hot ones, too!
DiMartino:	Boys – surely it hasn’t escaped your ATTENTION, limited as it may be, that you’re all about to turn EIGHTEEN this year.
J’s:	Yeah! Cool! Rocks!
DiMartino:	AND, by the LAW of the LAND, you must each be MARRIED by your EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY!!
J’s:	Aw, man! No Way! Bummer!
DiMartino:	SO… have ANY of you chosen a prospective WIFE yet??
J’s:	Ummm… Well… Errr…
DiMartino:	ARRGH! I’ll be stuck running this kingdom FOREVER at this rate!!
O’Niell:	Um… Your Majesty, I have a suggestion…
DiMartino:	(Fixing a rabid-dog glare on O’Niell) WHAT!!
O’Niell:	Eep! I mean, Sire – it strikes me that what your sons need is to get to know the women of the kingdom, and build close, nurturing relationships with the women they may choose – women from outside the castle walls.
DiMartino:	(a little calmer – just a little, though) AND?
O’Niell:	Oh! And, so why don’t we arrange a ball! And invite all the maidens of the kingdom to attend. Surely, with your entire kingdom to choose from, they can find suitable brides.
DiMartino:	(sits back and thinks) Prime Minister, you may be ON to something!
O’Niell:	Wonderful! I’ll have invitations printed right away. Captain?
Kevin:	I’m the Captain!
O’Niell:	See to it that the word is spread throughout the land: There will be a ball a fortnight hence here at the castle. All marriage-eligible maidens must attend.
Kevin:	Huh?
Joey:	Invite all the babes in the kingdom to a party.
Jeffy:	In two weeks.
Jamie:	At our place.
Kevin:	Cool! (leaves)
DiMartino:	Explain to me again exactly WHY he’s in charge of ANYTHING around here?

EXT: Castle

Kevin struts out of the castle with his stack of Ball invitations.

Daria:	Naturally, the obvious solution to all the troubles in the kingdom was to throw a party. So, The Brave Captain of the Guard set forth to spread the word to all the fair maidens of the land.
Jane:	He traveled hither and yon, throughout the land, spreading the word.
	Kevin returns to the castle, looking a bit worn out.
Daria:	A few hours later, he went back and asked for directions.

EXT: Cottage entrance

Kevin knocks on the door. Brittany answers.

Brittany:	Prithee, noble sir, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?
Kevin:	Hey babe, wanna go to a party?
Brittany:	Oooo, a party! I can’t wait! But, with whom shall I go to the ball?
Kevin:	You can go with me, Babe! I’m the Captain of the Guard!
Brittany:	Sounds great! (she grabs him and starts sucking face)

EXT: Marketplace

The marketplace is teeming with various people from the show. Kevin rides his horse among them, passing out invitations.

Daria:	And so, the Captain of the Guard –
Kevin:	That’s me!
Daria:	distributed invitations to all the people in the kingdom.

MONTAGE:

Kevin knocks on another door, revealing Ms. Barch. She chews him out, presumably over his gender, and slams the door in his face. Undaunted, Kevin sticks the invite under the door and moves on.

He comes across Jodie and Mack, who are riding their own horses along a stream. Kevin gives them an invitation, then waves at Mack. Even though we can’t hear what he says, it’s pretty obvious what it was, and Mack’s scowling reply is the usual.

Kevin’s running away from some nasty-looking dogs, dropping invitations behind him in his haste to get away. Finally their chains pull tight. Ms. Li, in full armor and broadsword, comes up behind the dogs, scratches their ears, and picks up an invitation with interest.

Kevin delivers an invitation to Angie (one of the cheerleaders – see “Daria Dance Party”), bowing low and kissing her hand as he does. An angry Brittany jumps on him and starts pounding on him.

Looking very nervous, Kevin tiptoes into a dark cave and hands an invitation over a bubbling cauldron. Andrea, in full witch’s gear, accepts it, then waves her wand and conjures a number of hellish demons that chase Kevin out.

END MONTAGE

INT: Quinnderella’s house

Quinnderella’s scrubbing the floor while her stepsisters hover over her in elegant dresses, eating grapes and spitting the seeds in front of her.

Sandi:	So, it’s agreed. In order to present the finest possible appearance, we will cinch our corsets an additional quarter inch.
Tiffany:	Doooes this corset make me look faaaat?
Sandi:	Of course not, Tiffany. The entire point of a corset is to make you look thin!
Tiffany:	Ooohhh.
Stacy:	Um… Sandi, it’s kind of hard to breathe as it is. Don’t you think we’re taking this a little too far?
Sandi:	Let me show you something. Quinnderella!
Quinnderella:	(Looks up from her scrubbing) Yes, dear stepsister?
Sandi:	Stand up for a moment. (she does) Now, take a look sisters. Here we have an excellent example of what happens when you let yourself go. Notice the dishpan hands, the droopy expression, the muddy shoes. And, most importantly, the lack of a proper corset.
	The girls look Quinnderella up and down. Standing in her plain maid’s dress, her hands dripping with soapy water, her hair pulled back into a stringy ponytail, she’s not exactly at her best.
Sandi:	Do you want this to happen to you?
Stacy & Tiffany:	No! (Stacy looks a little guilty about it)
Sandi:	All right then. Quinnderella, I believe you have some important scrubbing to do?
	Quinnderella sighs, gets back on her hands and knees, and continues scrubbing. A knock on the door perks her up.
Linda:	(Walking in from offscreen) Now, who could that be. Quinnderella, I don’t hear scrubbing!
	Linda opens the door to reveal Kevin
Kevin:	(ducking) Don’t hit me! Er, I mean, Good day, my lady. Are you the mistress of this household?
Linda:	What do you want?
Kevin:	I’m the Captain of the Guard!
	pause
Linda:	And…
Kevin:	Oh! And, I need to invite all the maidens in the house to a huge party at the castle.
	(sound of many feet coming to the door. Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy poke their heads around the doorframe expectantly)
Sandi:	Party?
Stacy:	At the Castle?
Tiffany:	Cooool…
Kevin:	Why, yes, my ladies. I have invitations here for all of you. See, the princes need to get married, or something, and they want to check out all the babes in the kingdom to decide who they want to shack up with. The King told me to invite everyone!
Stacy:	Even the unpopular maidens?
Kevin:	I don’t know, do you have any?
Linda:	(snatching the invitations and talking quickly) No, no one else here at all, just me and my three girls. Well, I’m sure you’re busy, ta-ta, see you at the castle! (she starts to close the door)
	In a rare moment of clarity, Kevin catches a glimpse of red hair beyond the door.
Kevin:	Hey, who’s that chick?
	Quinnderella turns to see what the commotion is about
Linda:	Oh, that’s just the maid, she can’t go to the ball.
Kevin:	I don’t know… the King said to invite everyone…
Linda:	I’ll invite her for you. Go away. (she slams the door in Kevin’s face)
Kevin:	(muffled, coming from outside) Oww! Man, this job sucks!
Quinnderella:	Who was that?
Linda:	Quinnderella! Scrubbing!

INT: Sandi’s room

Sandi is pulling dresses from the closet and holding them up in front of her to see them in a mirror. There’s a large pile of discards building up next to her.

INT: Stacy’s room

Stacy is putting up her hair in a variety of ways, finding none that she likes.

INT: Tiffany’s room

Tiffany is looking at herself in a mirror that’s slightly distorted, making her look fat.

INT: Quinnderella’s cell

Quinnderella is looking out the window, a sad and forlorn expression on her face.

INT: Main hall (still Quinnderella’s house)

Sandi comes tromping over to Linda, Stacy and Tiffany close behind.

Sandi:	Mother! All my dresses are hideous! I can’t go to the ball in any of these!
Stacy:	I can’t do a thing with my hair!
Tiffany:	Does this make me look fat?
Linda:	(looking over her shoulder) Ix-nay on the all-bay, girls…
Quinnderella:	(enters, pushing a broom around) Did I hear something about a ball?
Stacy:	Well –
Linda:	No! Don’t be silly! No ball around here, nope, none at all. Get back to your sweeping, girl, there’s an inch of dust built up around the fireplace.
	Quinnderella departs
Linda:	(smacks Sandi on the back of the head) What’s the matter with you? Do you want more competition at the ball?
Sandi:	Oww! Mother, she’s just the maid! What difference could it make if she goes or not?
Linda:	Two words: Bouncy hair.
Tiffany:	Ooh, she’s right, Sandi. Quinnderella does have really bouncy hair.
Linda:	But that’s not the point. The point is, we have a really good chance of scoring one or more princes here, and I don’t want that little wench messing things up.
Stacy:	But, I need Quinnderella to fix my hair!
Sandi:	I need her to make my dress!
Tiffany:	I need her to… um…
Sandi:	Finish your sentences?
Tiffany:	Um…
Linda:	Fine, use her however you want. Just make sure she doesn’t go to that ball!
Daria:	Unbeknownst to the scheming step-people –
Jane:	– but, entirely beknownst to us –
Daria:	Quinnderella was hanging on every word in the next room.
Jane:	And she was bound and determined to go to that party. She just needed a loophole, maybe some information from someone not terribly bright who might let something slip in a careless moment.

INT: Stacy’s room

Close-up on Stacy’s face

Stacy:	So I told him, like, I am not that kind of maiden! I don’t care if he’s the Duke of Earl, I don’t raise my petticoats to any old Sir Loin of Beef who comes along!
	Pull out to reveal Quinnderella doing Stacy’s hair
Quinnderella:	Gee Stacy, you really put him in his place.
Stacy:	I did, didn’t I? But you know what the worst part is? Two weeks later, I saw him courting Sandi! I can’t believe he would dump me for her!
Quinnderella:	Oh, Stacy, you’re way cuter than Sandi is.
Stacy:	Do you really think so?
Quinnderella:	Well, duh! And after I finish with your hair, you’ll be the cutest maiden in the entire kingdom!
Stacy:	Oh, I hope so. After all, all the maidens in the kingdom are going to be there. I need to make a really great impression.
Quinnderella:	Oh, come on, I don’t think all the maidens will be there.
Stacy:	It’s true! The invitation said that the king ordered all the maidens in the kingdom to come to the Ball.
Quinnderella:	(evil smirk) Oh… really?

INT: Main Hall of Quinnderella’s house

Quinnderella, Linda, and the Fashion Club are all present.

Quinnderella:	But Stepmo-OM, the King ordered all the maidens to come, and I couldn’t disobey the King, could I?
Sandi:	Gee Stacy, I wonder where Quinnderella could have found out something like that?
Stacy:	Eep!
Tiffany:	Um… finish my sentences?
Sandi:	Oh, learn to keep up, Tiffany! Mother, she can’t go to the ball!
Linda:	But, dear, the King has ordered it. And we must do what the King says.
Sandi:	But Mother –
Linda:	Oh, come now, Sandi, don’t you think Quinnderella will look wonderful in a flowing satin gown and tiara, all dressed up properly for the ball?
Quinnderella:	Um, stepmother, I…
Linda:	You do have a gown to wear to the ball, don’t you dear?
Quinnderella:	Well, I was kind of hoping I could borrow one…
Linda:	Oh, but Quinnderella, that would never do! I really don’t think you would fit into any of the other girls’ gowns. It must be your own.
Quinnderella:	Er…
Sandi:	(finally catching on and smirking wickedly) Of course, you could always wear what you have on. I hear stained brown is making a comeback.
Jane:	Despite these words of discouragement, Quinnderella was undaunted.
Daria:	It takes a lot more than a few discouraging words to daunt her.

INT: Sandi’s room (night)

While Sandi’s sleeping (and snoring like a hog with bronchitis) Quinnderella sneaks in and discretely borrows a couple of discarded dresses from the bottom of her pile

INT: Quinnderella’s cell (still night)

Quinnderella works feverishly with needle and thread.

INT: Tiffany’s room (still night)

Tiffany whistles quietly in her sleep while Quinnderella tiptoes in and quietly removes an old corset

INT: Quinnderella’s cell (still night)

Quinnderella sucks in as much as she can while lacing the corset to painful tightness.

INT: Stacy’s room (night)

Stacy, curled up happily with her blankie, never sees Quinnderella creep out with one of her hair clips

INT: Quinnderella’s cell (faint glow of dawn)

Quinnderella fixes her hair just so with the clip, then gets frustrated and messes it all up again.

As the sun comes up, she hangs the dress that we can’t quite see away in her small closet.

EXT: Castle

Banners flap in the breeze and people work busily about to prepare for the ball

Daria:	Finally, the day of the ball arrived.
Jane:	Nowhere was the ball more eagerly anticipated than the home of Quinnderella.

CUT TO – close up on Quinnderella’s face

She looks really tired. There are circles under her eyes and her demeanor is very droopy.

Sandi:	(offscreen) Quinnderella! Where the hell are you? I need you to take in my ball gown!
Quinnderella:	-sigh- Coming, dear stepsister…

INT: Sandi’s room

Sandi’s up on a platform while Quinnderella pins her dress

Sandi:	Thank goodness Master Cashman at the marketplace had this gown. Green suits me so well, don’t you think?
Quinnderella:	-yawn- Yeah, whatever.
Sandi:	Quinnderella!
Quinnderella:	Huh? What?
Sandi:	Pay attention to what you’re doing! I said, green suits me so well, don’t you think?
Quinnderella:	Hmm? Oh, Sandi, you look good in anything!
Sandi:	That’s what I thought.
Tiffany:	(offscreen) Quinnderella!

CUT TO INT: Tiffany’s room

Quinnderella is pulling with might and main on Tiffany’s corset. Tiffany’s obviously in a bit of discomfort.

Tiffany:	Pull it tighter, Quinnderella. I don’t want to look fat.
Quinnderella:	How’s this? (Quinnderella plants a foot on Tiffany’s back and pulls the cords out about three feet. Tiffany goes red in the face almost immediately.)
Tiffany:	(strained) …perfect…
	Quinnderella smiles a bit, then winces as she hears…
Stacy:	(offscreen) Quinnderella!

CUT TO INT: Stacy’s room

Stacy in front of a mirror, Quinnderella doing her hair.

Stacy:	Oh, that’s not right either! Sometimes, I wish I could just put it in a pair of braids and be done with it.
Quinnderella:	(quietly) You and me both.
Stacy:	What?
Quinnderella:	Oh, nothing. -yawn- Say, I’ve got an idea…

CUT TO INT: Main Hall

Linda, Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy are all dressed and ready to go. Stacy is wearing a tall, pointed fairy-tale-princess hat that more or less completely covers her hair. Tiffany looks like she’s struggling to breathe. Sandi just looks impatient. Linda is wearing basic black and looks similarly impatient.

Linda:	Well, we’ve waited nearly a full minute for Quinnderella. Obviously the ball’s not very important to her. Shall we go, girls?
Quinnderella:	(offscreen) Wait! I’m coming! I’m ready!
	Everyone looks back in astonishment to see Quinnderella coming down the stairs.