Venison

 

Miss Jenkins stood in front of her home economics students.

 

“Okay class. Today we have a special treat. A hunter friend of my husband’s gave us some venison. Today you’re going to learn how to properly prepare wild game.”

 

Looking around the classroom she saw a sea of stunned faces. Since that was the response the expected she continued.

 

“Let’s get started. We don’t have much time.”

 

Roughly forty-five minutes later everybody had their dishes ready to try. In spite of preparing it, nobody was willing to take a taste of Bambi’s mother. Almost in panic at the thought of having a whole class unwilling to even taste their own creations, Miss Jenkins spied Kevin and Mack walking past her room. Rushing to the door, she called them in.

 

“Kevin? Mack? Would you please come here?”

 

As they approached, Kevin held up a piece of paper.

 

“It’s cool Miss J. We have hall passes.”

 

Smiling at the pair she said. “Don’t worry. That’s not why I called you.” As they entered the room, she continued. “We’ve made some special dishes and wondered if you would be willing to taste them.”

 

Smiling, Kevin said, “Sure.”

 

Picking up two plates, Miss Jenkins smiled back. “Wonderful.”

 

After filling the two dishes with a few pieces of deer and some gravy she handed one to each of the boys. Taking a forkful, each looked at it for a second then put it in their mouths. After a second of chewing Kevin spoke.

 

“This is Great!” Shoveling another serving into his mouth, he asked, “What it is?”

 

Miss Jenkins smiled again. “I’ll let you guess. Here’s a hint. Your mom probably calls your dad this all the time.”

 

Kevin immediately spit his food in the sink. Grabbing his throat, he ran to the door screaming, “Don’t swallow Mack Daddy! It’s ASSHOLE!”

 

Running to the door in an attempt to stop Kevin and calm him down, Miss Jenkins said, “No Kevin it’s not what you…” Unfortunately she didn’t beat him to the exit and he was well down the corridor.

 

As Mack ran after him, he glanced at her for just a second.

 

“I’ll stop him before he finds Ms. Li.”

 

“Thanks Mack.”

 

Walking over to her desk, Miss Jenkins sat down, opened a drawer and opened a bottle of aspirin.

 

In the actual classroom, Jane had finally had enough of the excitement and decided to add her own perspective to the incident.

 

“I wonder if he’s discovered that Soylent Green is people yet?”

 

From behind her back she heard Tiffany ask her, “It is? Wow!”

 

Unable to wrap her brain around Brittany’s reply, Jane went over and asked Miss Jenkins for one of her aspirin.

 

The End

 

As always Daria and all related characters belong to MTV. This was written for my own amusement.