"‘DARIA’ FAN FICTION AND ME: AN UNEASY RELATIONSHIP?"
by Robert Nowall


I’ve learned a lot about the "Daria" fan fiction community in the last few months. It’s been fun. I expect it to continue to be fun, for some time. But I’ve heard things, over the months, and in recent days, that made me desire to spell out, for everybody to see, my own goals and plans, for my own work. You see, I don’t plan to be here forever...


1. "What am I doing here?"

I’ve been watching "Daria" since late 1999. I’d seen ads for it before but it really caught my interest then, and I actually started sitting down and watching it. I found it fascinating. It soon went to Number One on my list of TV shows to obsess about. (If I’d been writing fan fiction a year an a half ago, I might be writing about my involvement in the "Hey, Arnold!" community.)

In March, I started surfing the web for more information. You know, the usual, plot lines and character information, a complete list of episodes, and so on. Just what you’d want to know about your favorite series when the official sources were inadequate. I stumbled on "Outpost Daria," which had the most detailed information on "Daria" I had yet seen.

Long about the middle of April, I looked at some of the essays posted there. They referred to some of the fan fiction, also posted there. I was intrigued and took a look at some of them...and was soon hooked.

A little background here. I’ve been trying to write---and, more important, trying to publish---for over a quarter century now. I’d just finished writing a novel in January, a project that took over four years. Since then, I tried to get another novel off the ground, but with only about ten thousand words and little satisfaction in them.

Also, there was some lingering dissatisfaction about the state of my writing. Like I said, I’ve been at it for a quarter century now. Most of it has been science fiction, but there have been forays into other forms and genres. In the last ten years, I’ve been satisfied, in my own mind at least, that some of the stuff I was writing was as good as some of the stuff I’d seen published. (Remember, I say "as good as," not better. And "some of," not all. And "in my own mind.")

But I wasn’t being accepted for publication, and I wasn’t being paid for my work. I was tired of sending manuscripts out by snail mail, and getting them back with printed forms or brief checklist comments. I was getting the idea I was writing in a vacuum. I was ready for a change.

Enter "Daria" fan fiction.

I was impressed. Certainly there would never be enough original episodes to satisfy me. The standards of the best were high, as high as published work. Some of the stories were moving beyond words. Some provoked much thought. Even the less well-written work had much to recommend it. It wasn’t much longer before I began to comment on what I had seen, individually to some authors, and at the message boards.

But I started to have other ideas...


2. "How am I going to get through this?"

I’ve seen some work that postulated a future for Daria. I’m not naming names here---I enjoyed reading most of them. But most of these futures were, let’s say, wonderful. Daria went on to fame and fortune and happy relationships with Trent and with others. Sometimes in a literary career, sometimes not. Often in with the beautiful people, as well. But, usually, a good future.

Well, I had my own life and attempts to start a literary career as an examples. I couldn’t see that someone with Daria’s prickly personality would necessarily have this kind of success. It’s a fault I share.

If I put Daria in a future that wasn’t as nice as that which others put her in, not only could I work out what happened to her, I could explore the fate of the other characters...

Thus, an idea was born.

There was another motivating factor, though. I’d ripped into a couple of people’s work. Stories I loved but saw flaws in. It was obvious that feedback is important in the Daria fan fiction community, and I was willing to provide it.

But I didn’t want to be seen as some weirdo who’s just into ripping things apart. I wanted people to see my comments, and say, "This person knows whereof he speaks." And, to prove it, I would need some work of my own to point to.

So I had the idea for a story, and an ulterior motivation. So I began writing. Soon I had completed one story in this future, and conceived three others, a would-be series. Later I had one stand up out of my subconscious and demand to be written.

Now, I had plans and goals...


3. "Dear God, help me!"

If somebody had told me, in early April, that I would even be reading "Daria" fan fiction, I would have laughed in their face. Being told that I would write some would have produced bare-faced amazement.

But it happened, and I’m glad.

While working on my first story, I came up with ideas for three others. As I write, I’m seven-eighths through one of these ideas as I write this, the second in the series. Also I had one, unconnected with the series, simply rear up out of my subconscious and demand to be written down.

My plans are to finish the one I’m working on, then move onto the next. I hope to wind up with a series of at least four stories. I figure I should be finished with it sometime in early 2001. If anything else pops up, or I think up another idea for my series, I may write that, as well.

And that is all. A limited goal with a limited range. I want to quit while I’m ahead. I want to write these for sheer enjoyment, and not let it become an unwelcome chore. I don’t want to burn out on this. I want to set, and keep, a clear goal, and stick to it. Besides, sooner or later, I want to get back to further attempts at commercial writing.

Anybody who keeps writing "Daria" fan fiction, I wish you well. I suppose I’ll still be around, commenting on this or that. But I intend to have my fun...and leave ‘em laughing.

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Written 9/7/00.