T 
he Song That Jane Likes: A Daria Fan-Fiction
By: Sam Lincoln (samlincoln@mac.com)
Ratin g: PG, nothing too objectionable though
Spoilers: This 
makes a whole lot more sense if you've seen Is
It Fall Yet? Also 
really helps to have read my earlier story Busted
Stuff 
Summary: Yes, another Post-IIFY Jane crises of 
confidence fic,
just what the world needs.
Soundtrack: 
Dave Matthews Band 10-26-1993. Cool old school
DMB soundboard 
recording.
The Song that Jane 
Likes
"Would you like to play/With the thought of a 
friend/In
a distant passing stage"
Mr. O'Neill began his senior English class with even more enthusiasm than normal. "Oh class, I have such wonderful news. Lawndale High will be staging a production of Dylan Thomas's beautiful play Under Milkwood. Now I can't make participation mandatory, but I will be awarding extra credit to everyone who shows up to audition for a part, or volunteers to help out with the technical aspects of the production." He wrung his hands as he tried to gauge the student's reaction; apathetic was the most charitable description. "I can tell you're all worried that you'll audition and not get a part."
"I can't say that was one of my 
worries, but ok," Daria
replied drolly.
O'Neill 
continued, ignoring Daria, "Don't worry, there are
plenty of 
speaking roles in this play; in fact many people will
have the 
opportunity to play two or more 
characters."
"Yeah, that'll be a real big 
selling point," Daria editorialized.
She looked over at Jane, 
curious as to why her friend hadn't chimed
in. To her surprise, Jane 
was actually paying attention to O'Neill.
Before Daria could talk to 
Jane, O'Neill switched topics and was
talking about a paper 
assignment, something Daria wanted to listen
to. Daria did not get a 
chance to talk to her friend for the rest
of the class 
period.
As soon as the class finished, Daria turned to 
face Jane. "Boy
that was a spine tingling class huh?" she 
said as they walked
into the hall.
"Huh?" Jane 
asked, confused. "Oh, yeah, a thrill
a minute," she said 
distractedly.
"What's up, for a while there I 
thought you were actually
paying attention in 
class."
Jane shrugged, "It was just a crafty 
stratagem to only
appear involved."
"Ah, so 
you really weren't listening to O'Neill 
then."
"When have I 
ever?"
"Good, because for a moment there I 
thought you were thinking
about signing up for that 
play."
"And what if I was?" Jane asked 
defensively, "What's
the harm in 
that?"
"It doesn't seem like the sort of thing 
you'd do, that's
all, after all it's school 
participation."
"But the theater is another 
expression of art, and you
know me, I'm the art chick," Jane 
said, a hint of bitterness
creeping into her 
voice.
"Uh yeah, ok," Daria replied 
hesitantly.
Jane sighed, "Look, could we just drop 
this? So, have
a hot date with Tom tonight?" She said, trying to 
change
the topic.
Daria looked at Jane quizzically, 
"We're planning on going
to the movies actually, unless you want 
to do something else instead."
"Oh no, far be 
it for me to intrude on your 'Tom Time.'
Go, have 
fun."
"Well, are you sure you don't want to 
come along? I'm
sure Tom 
wouldn't..."
"Daria!" Jane shouted, 
cutting Daria off, "You
have a boyfriend who just so happens to 
be a great guy and cares
a lot about you. Spend time with him, don't 
worry about me, I'll
be fine."
"Jane, 
I..." Daria started to say.
"Don't sweat it 
Daria, I'm not mad at you. Now don't you
have that fancy AP class to 
go to?"
"Uh yeah, see you at lunch?" 
Daria asked.
"We'll 
see...probably...definitely...care to swap 
sandwiches?"
Daria nodded, and walked down the 
hall. Jane watched Daria
walk off. She sighed and walked to her next 
class.
--------------------------------
&quo 
t;I'm worried about Jane," Daria told Tom as they
sat in the 
Sloanes TV room.
"
Curious topic to bring up 
now," Tom quipped.
"I'm serious 
Tom."
"Sorry, I'll be good," Tom said 
sincerely. "So
what's the problem with 
Jane?"
Daria frowned, "She seemed really 
distant today at school."
"We are talking 
about behavior at school here, I've been
known to be a tad distant at 
school too."
Daria shook her head, "It's not 
that, I don't know, I
thought we settled everything this summer...but 
I really felt
a wall between us today."
Tom raised 
his eyebrows, "Well I guess you'd know since
you are the 
resident expert on emotional walls." Tom started
to 
chuckle.
"I really fail to see the humor of the 
situation, Tom,"
Daria said crossly.
"Sorry, 
it's just the thought of you being upset about
someone shutting you 
out; some might say it reeks of 
irony."
"Others might say it just reeks," 
Daria muttered.
"There's that too," Tom agreed 
somberly.
"I just don't know what to do, I mean I tried to talk to her, I even invited her to the movies with us tonight."
"Did she, er, accept?" Tom 
asked nervously.
"Eh? No, she didn't. She said she 
didn't want to intrude
on my 'Tom Time.' I'm afraid she's still 
holding a grudge."
Tom shrugged, "I can't 
answer that definitively, but I got
the feeling that she's made her 
peace with you."
"Then what's her 
problem?" Daria protested.
"How the hell 
should I know, I'm not psychic. If it's bugging
you that much, go 
talk to Jane."
"Yeah, I know," Daria 
said, sighing. "But it really
would be easier if you had all the 
answers."
"Well Deus isn't my middle name I'm 
sorry to say."
"What 
is?"
"I can't say, it's a long standing family 
secret."
"I'll just ask your sister, I'm sure 
she'd love to expose
your little secret."
"Is 
that all you're looking to expose?" Tom asked 
lecherously.
"Back off rich boy, you still have to 
pay for that resident
expert crack."
"Oh I am 
huh?"
"Yeah, it wasn't 
appreciated."
"Even though it's 
true?"
"That's not the 
point."
"It's 
not?"
"No, I was trying to say something 
serious and important
and you were making jokes, bad ones 
too."
Tom leaned over and hugged Daria, "Hey, 
I'm sorry about that,
you know me, if all else fails make a 
joke." He kissed her,
"I really am 
sorry."
"Well, I forgive you," Daria 
said, her face softening
visibly. "Just don't think you can 
sweet talk me out of being
angry and you every time you piss me 
off."
"Then I guess I'll have to not piss you 
off."
"Damn 
straight."
"So you'll talk to 
Jane?"
Daria sighed, "Yes, I'll try to talk to 
her tomorrow...if
she lets me."
"Well at least 
try, and if she shuts you down try again until
she doesn't, not much 
more you can do."
"I know, and that's what 
bugs me."
"Can't argue with you about that, 
but this way at least Jane
knows you still 
care."
"Yeah," Daria said 
pensively.
"Come on Daria," Tom said while 
dragging her to her
feet. "Let's go get some dinner before the 
movie starts."
Daria allowed herself to be led out of the room, 
still deep 
in
thought.
-------------------------
Jane 
sat on her bed, staring at a blank canvas. "This is
getting 
ridiculous," She thought to herself. "Come on
Jane, paint 
something." She stood up and angrily splashed
paint on the 
canvas.
She surveyed her efforts and sighed, "Oh forget it, 
this
is crap." She tore the canvas off the easel and tossed 
it
on a pile in the corner of her room, alongside a picture of 
a
stick figure and a crude drawing of a house. She dropped back
onto 
her bed, dejected. "What the hell is wrong with me?"
She 
wondered aloud.
Trent had taken the opportunity to amble 
by her room at that moment
and heard Jane's cry of frustration. 
"I don't know, you didn't
eat any of those pickles I found, did 
you?" He asked, sticking
his head in her 
room.
"Oh, hey Trent," Jane said, not looking 
up.
"What's the 
matter?"
"Who said anything's the 
matter?"
"You 
did."
"Alright, alright, if you must know, 
that is the problem,"
She pointed at the pile of discarded 
paintings.
"Whoa, that's a lot of 
paintings."
"No, it's not," Jane replied 
testily.
"It isn't?"
"No, 
that's a big pile of crap."
Trent walked over and 
picked up Jane's most recent addition
to the pile, "I don't 
know, this one's pretty cool."
Jane stood up and 
snatched the painting out of Trent's hands.
"No, it's not, 
there's nothing behind it beyond my 
frustration."
"Does it matter where it came 
from so long as it's cool?"
"It does to 
me," Jane said flatly.
"So you're in a bit of 
a funk, no big deal."
"Trent I haven't done 
anything since I got back from that
art camp this 
summer."
"Whoa," Trent said eyes wide in 
surprise. "Janey,
what's the problem?"
Jane 
shrugged, "I don't know..." she trailed 
off.
"You don't?"
"No, I 
don't."
"That's a double 
negative."
"No, it 
isn't."
"So was 
that."
"Trent!"
"What's 
the problem Janey?"
"I told you, I don't 
know."
"I think you 
do."
"I don't"
"You 
do."
"I don't.
"You 
do."
"I don't."
"You 
don't." 
"I do."
"You 
don't"
"I do."
"Nah, no 
clue."
"Yes, I 
know."
"What is it 
then?"
"That damn art camp!" Jane 
shouted. She paused. "Damn
Trent, that was sneaky. Where'd you 
pick up that trick?"
Trent shrugged, "Some 
cartoon I saw last night. So, the
art camp 
huh?"
Jane sighed and sat back down on her bed, 
"Yeah, the art
camp."
"Why, I mean I know 
you hated it, but you did some really
cool stuff 
there."
"Because I found out first hand that 
the art world is
filled with shallow, duplicitous bootlickers who've 
never had
a creative thought in their lives. And I guess on some 
level I'm
not sure if I really want to have anything to do with art 
from
now on because of that."
"Are you serious 
about that?"
"Yeah, I think I 
am
"But haven't you always wanted to be an 
artist?"
"Well 
yeah."
"And you're going to let a couple of 
posers deny you your
lifelong dream?"
"There's 
more to it than that," Jane 
mumbled.
"Oh?"
"Yes..." 
Jane paused, "I don't remember why
I wanted to be an artist in 
the first place," she said in
a rush.
"What's 
that about?" Trent asked.
"I've been sitting 
here, thinking about why I want to
be an artists and all the reasons 
I've come up with are crap."
"Oh come on, I'm 
sure..."
"Reason one," Jane said, cutting 
her brother off,
"Because it makes me 'edgy.' Reason two, to 
prove how outsider
I am. And lastly, reason three, to please Mom and 
Dad. As best
I can figure I'm as bad a poser as those idiots I had 
such disdain
for at that camp."
"Jane, haven't 
we had this conversation before?"
"This isn't 
about kiwi-flavored lip gloss, Trent. What's
the point of being a 
unique individual if you're just like all
the other unique 
individuals?"
"So in other words, you've lost 
the fire to be an artist?"
"Yeah, I guess you 
could say that."
"Ok, then go do something 
else, it doesn't make much sense
to me to try and do something your 
heart's not into," Trent
said simply.
Jane sighed, 
"Yeah, you're right."
"So, what'cha gonna 
do?"
"I think for right now I'll sit on my ass 
and do nothing.
Trent nodded, "That's cool, hey 
I've got a gig I need
to go to; are you going to be 
alright?"
"Yeah, sure I'll be 
fine."
"Want to come along? We're debuting 
some new stuff tonight."
"No, no, that's quite 
alright. I'll be safer at home,
less chance of heartbreak," Jane 
laid back on her bed, head
propped up by her 
arms.
"Ok, well, take care Janey. There's kung pao 
chicken in
the fridge if you want it."
"Trent, 
I'm not suicidal," Jane replied dryly.
Trent 
laughed spasmodically, "That's all I need to hear,
see you later 
Janey."
"Bye Trent, have a good show," 
Jane told her departing
brother. She waited until she heard the front 
door slam before
rolling over on her bed; eyes clenched shut, trying 
to drive all
thought from her mind. As she tried in vain not to, her 
conversation
with Daria earlier that day bubbled to the 
surface.
"Hmm, there's an idea," she thought 
to herself. "Find
myself something else to do huh? Well, it 
beats selling my body
for smack." She stood up and walked over 
to her painting
supplies. Jane picked up brush and started at it 
intently. She
sighed, "Nothing, damn, time for Plan B." She 
dropped
the brush and tossed a drop cloth over the pile. 
-----------------------------------------
T 
he following day at school Daria saw Jane walking down the
hall. 
Daria sighed and sped up to catch up with her 
friend.
"Hey Jane, wait up," Daria called out. 
Jane stopped and turned, "Hey Daria, what's 
up?"
Daria came to a stop in front of Jane, 
"Not much I just
wanted to know if you wanted to walk to class 
with me?"
"Oh, how sweet, do you want to carry 
my books for me as
well? Or how about we hold 
hands."
"Hardy har har. Maybe you should have 
taken that art bitch
up on her offer."
"Nah, 
she was only after my hot, jailbait body. I'm looking
for something a 
little more long term." Daria stared at Jane
blankly. "I'm 
kidding Daria."
"I knew that," Daria said 
as they resumed walking.
"Sure you did," Jane 
replied sarcastically. "So,
what's 
up?"
"You already asked me that." 
"I did?"
"You did,"
"Oh no, I'm not playing that 
game 
again."
"What?"
"Never 
mind, it's not important."
"Uh Jane, are you 
feeling alright?"
"Ah ha! So that's what you 
were 
after."
"Huh?"
"You 
were trying to gauge my mental health, weren't 
you."
"Why wouldn't I, you're acting like a 
loon."
"No, before 
that."
"Can you stop being manic for a few 
minutes, I'm trying
to talk to you," Daria said 
testily.
"Huh? Oh sure, sorry, got a little carried 
away there."
"No 
kidding."
"What can I say, I'm feeling 
chipper."
"When have you ever felt 
chipper?"
"Today at 
least."
"And what's brought on this bout of 
chipperness?"
"I decided to give up art last 
night, and boy, is that
a weight off my 
shoulders."
"You what? Daria said in 
disbelief.
"I gave up 
art."
"You, huh, wha, but...why?" Daria 
finally managed
to say.
"So I can sell my body for 
crack on the street of course,"
Jane deadpanned. Daria looked at 
Jane darkly. "Ok, ok, I
lost the urge to paint, sculpt, or 
anything else I used to do."
"Why are you 
being so nonchalant about this? For as long
as I've known you, you've 
been doing one artistic thing or another,
and now you're no longer an 
artist?"
Jane shrugged, "I had a moment of clarity last 
night. All
of my reasons for being an artist were crap, so I decided 
to try
my hand at something different. If the old batteries 
recharge
that's great, if not, that's fine 
too."
"Fair enough, but what are you going to 
do with yourself
while you're recharging these batteries of 
yours?"
"I don't know, maybe I'll take up 
track again."
"Are you even listening to the 
words coming out of your
mouth? You hated your time on the track 
team."
"Correction, I hated all the phony 
privilege that came
with being on the team. The running part was 
pretty cool."
"What's 
changed?"
Jane shrugged, "It's what people 
would least expect of
me, and I do try to buck 
expectations."
"You're doing a hell of a job 
of that."
"I am? Thanks Daria, that means a 
lot to me." Jane
replied brightly as they walked into O'Neill's 
classroom.
"Glad to be there for you in your time 
of need."
"I'm weirding you out with all this 
aren't I?"
"No, not at...well ok, yes you 
are."
"Sorry, I'm just trying to be true to 
me, you understand
that, right?"
"I 
suppose," Daria said as she took her seat. "Though
if you 
say anything about 'keeping it real' I'll hurt 
you."
"I guess I wont 
then."
"Class, may I have your attention 
please?" O'Neill
asked querulously. Remarkably the class did 
quiet, a little. "Thank
you, now before we resume our discussion 
from yesterday I would
just like to remind everyone that auditions 
for the school play
are still underway, attendance last night was, 
well, less than
I expected."
"Did anyone show 
up?" Daria asked.
"Well, no, but it was just 
the first night, I'm sure people
just had prior commitments last 
night."
"Right, like my prior commitment to my 
bed."
"Daria! You minx," Jane teased. 
"I didn't know
you and Tom had that sort of a 
relationship."
"I think I liked you better 
when you were distant and
unresponsive."
"I'd 
just like to take this opportunity to remind you
all that the 
auditions continue tonight in the auditorium. I would
also like to 
remind everyone that I am giving extra credit for
just trying out for 
a part, or for joining the technical 
crew."
"But are they technically a technically 
inclined technical
crew?" Daria quipped.
"I 
need to speak to Tom, you have too much time on your
hands if you can 
think up stuff like that."
"So I expect to see 
all of you in the auditorium tonight.
Remember, it's not that you get 
the part that's important, it's
that you 
tried."
"Do or do not, there is no try," 
Daria said, deadpan.
"You'd better be careful 
Daria, if you keep making jokes
like that people might think there's 
a little Tom in you,"
Jane said, leering.
Daria 
blushed faintly. "I'll do serious, permanent damage
to you Jane, 
friendship or no," she growled.
"Now class, if 
we could all get out our copies of 'Things
Fall Apart.' I'd like to 
continue our discussion on how by attempting
to force his son into 
his culture's masculine archetype Okonkwo
only succeeded in pushing 
his son Nwoye away."
"Boy, I bet that brings 
back memories," Jane quipped.
"There's a 
reason I've never let my dad see me while I'm
reading this 
book."
"That really would set him 
off?"
Daria nodded, "Clouds have touched off 
patricidal ravings."
"Wow, I'll keep that in 
mind."
"Mack, do you have anything you'd like 
to add to this
discussion?" O'Neill 
asked.
"Why me?"
"Well 
because you might have a unique perspective on 
the
novel..."
"You mean because I'm a black 
man?"
"Um err, well...oh dear. Charles, how 
about you?"
O'Neill said hastily. Mack leaned back in his seat, 
a smug grin
on his 
face.
---------------------------------
Afte 
r class Daria and Jane caught up with Mack and Jodie, who
were 
standing in the hall; Jodie was staring angrily at 
Mack.
"Nice job in English Mack. If I didn't know 
any better
I'd say you really were indignant," Daria told the 
football
player.
"Hey Daria, thanks." Jodie 
smacked Mack on the back
of the head, "Hey, I said I was 
sorry."
"And I'm still mad at you. That was a 
mean thing to do
to Mr. O'Neill," Jodie said 
testily.
"Don't tell me you didn't think about 
doing the same thing
when he asked you that question about Okonkwo's 
wives." Mack
countered.
"Just because I 
thought about it doesn't mean I'd actually
do 
it."
"I think the better point is that you 
probably did the
reading, while Mack didn't," Jane said 
dryly.
"You didn't do the reading?" Jodie 
asked incredulously.
"Well, no, but I will finish 
the book before the test,"
Mack said 
sheepishly.
"Mack, this is the only book about 
Africa on the curriculum.
If we don't look like we care about it, 
then people will think
we aren't interested in our own 
heritage!" Jodie shouted.
"Come on, let's let 
them sort this out on their own,"
Jane said to 
Daria.
"Don't you even feel even the slightest bit 
guilty for
starting that fight?" Daria 
asked.
"Nah, they'll make up by the end of the 
day." Jane
shrugged, "Besides I wanted to make a 
point."
"And that is? Beyond the fact that you 
can make even the
most well adjusted couple break into a full blown 
spat."
"That's how I was starting to feel 
about art." Jane
said, ignoring Daria's sarcastic 
jab.
"Huh?"
"People expect 
me to be an artist, so I was, and then
I'd be forced to act in way 
people thought were 'artistic.' And
I don't want to be an artist for 
just that reason."
"Jane, stop rationalizing, 
I see your point."
"You 
do?"
"Yes, I do."
"You 
really mean that?"
"No, I'm just trying to get 
you to shut the hell up so
I'm not late to my next 
class."
"Oh, well why didn't you say 
so?"
"I was trying to be 
polite."
"I think you do see my point and 
you're just trying to
find some witty way to get me to stop 
talking."
"Believe what you want. I'm going to 
class."
"Lunch at the usual place?" Jane 
asked.
"I don't have any other pressing engagements 
then, so
sure," Daria said over her 
shoulder.
"You never do!" Jane shouted back. 
She watched Daria
walk down the hall for a few moments before heading 
to her next
class. Along her way she saw a flyer for the play 
auditions. "Alright,
alright I can take a hint," Jane said 
to no one in 
particular.
-------------------------------------------
Later that day as the student body rushed out of Lawndale 
High,
Daria walked over to Jane's locker. Jane was slowly 
transferring
books from her locker to her 
backpack.
"Hey Jane," Daria said, "Want 
to go do something?
I'm Tom free this evening. We can go celebrate 
your freedom from
the tyranny of art, or 
something."
"Uh sure, but can we raincheck for 
a little while? There
are a few things I need to do here before I can 
go."
Daria shrugged, "I can 
wait."
"No, no," Jane said hastily, 
"you don't have
to, I wouldn't want to bore 
you."
"What are you doing exactly?" Daria 
asked suspiciously.
"I'm uh, cleaning my stuff out 
of the art room. Yeah,
since I'm no longer an artist I don't need to 
keep all that crap
in the art room. So I figured I'd just tidy up a 
bit. See, something
you'd have no interest participating 
in."
"Uh sure," Daria replied, 
unconvinced. "Give
me a call when you get home, 
ok?"
"You got it compadre. Talk to you tonight 
then,"
Jane said, shooing her friend 
off.
"Yeah, right," Daria said, skeptically, 
but not wanting
to pry into Jane's affairs. Daria walked out of the 
school but
stopped after going a short distance. "I should go 
back and
talk to Jane, she's hiding something." Before Daria 
could
return to the school however, Tom drove up in his 
car.
"Hey Daria," Tom called 
out.
"Tom? What are you doing here? I thought you 
had that
thing."
He shrugged, "It got 
rescheduled and I suddenly had some
free time on my hands. So I 
figured the best way to spend that
free time was with you. Come on 
in, if we hurry we can catch the
start of that 'Sick, Sad World' 
marathon."
Daria hesitated, unsure of her next 
move. "Well Jane didn't
want me around, and who am I to 
pry?" She rationalized with
herself. She got in the car, 
"Let's 
roll."
------------------------------------------
As Daria drove off with Tom, Jane was standing in the 
hall
outside the auditorium, gripped by 
indecision.
"Do I really want to do this? I mean, 
being the art chick
is one thing, but being a theater geek is 
something all together
different. Am I ready for that level of 
ostracism?"As she
stood there debating with herself a trio of 
students walked past
her. "Huh, that tall one's pretty good 
looking," she
thought to herself. The trio continued past her 
and into the auditorium."Well
that settles it, ostracism doesn't 
sound so bad when you've got
someone to share it with." She 
followed the group into the
auditorium.
Inside the 
theater, Jane saw a large cluster of students surrounding
O'Neill 
down in front of the stage. The threesome she had seen
enter had made 
their way down front and were sitting on the edge
of the stage. As 
unobtrusively as possible Jane slipped into a
seat towards the back 
of the group.
"Might as well not announce my 
presence to the whole world,"
she thought. She watched as more 
students continued to file in.
She never even noticed the figure 
walking down her row until it
collided with 
her.
"Hey, watch it!" Jane 
snapped.
"Uhm, sorry," an all too familiar, 
perky voice said.
"Quinn?" Jane asked in 
amazement, "What the
hell are you doing 
here"
"Jane? I could ask you the same 
thing."
"Signing up for the tech crew." 
Jane replied simply.
"Trying out for a part to get 
the extra credit."
"Let me guess, you don't 
want anyone to see you so you
came back here." Quinn nodded. 
"Pull up a chair and
we can be invisible 
together."
"Ewww, why would I want to do 
that?"
"You're at the tryouts for a school 
play voluntarily.
You can't hurt your social standing any more by 
sitting next to
me."
Quinn thought about this for a 
moment then shrugged, "I
guess, but we're not sitting together 
if anyone asks."
"Boy you sure know how to 
kill a romantic moment."
"Ewwwww, that's it, 
I'm leaving," Quinn said, standing
up.
"No, 
sorry, forget I said anything," Jane said hastily.
"So, 
what brings you here?"
"The extra credit of 
course," Quinn said as she settled
back into her 
seat.
"But I thought you had transformed into an 
academic juggernaut
over the summer."
"Well 
that's what I'm trying to do, but it's hard when
they keep piling 
stuff on. Why can't I, like, work at my own 
pace?"
"And how is adding the school play to 
your to do list
going to help you out 
there?"
"I'm just here for the extra credit. I 
don't want to actually
be in the play, 
ick."
"How silly of me to think 
otherwise."
"Ok everyone," O'Neill called 
out. "I know you're
all excited to be here and I'm sure we all 
want to get through
this as quickly as possible. Now, for those of 
you who are here
to volunteer for the crew, if you could just wait 
until the auditions
are finished, I'd like to have a word with all of 
you. Also, even
if you are just signing up for the crew, please feel 
free to get
up on stage and work a scene for 
us."
"Yeah right," Jane 
scoffed.
"Now, when you come up to do your scene, 
could you please
sign the book on the stage so I know who's tried 
out." He
clapped his hands in anticipation, "Ok, then, 
who'd like
to start?"
"I'll go," Kevin 
called out.
"Thank-you 
Kevin."
"Oh, this should be a trip," Jane 
muttered to herself
as Kevin climbed onto the 
stage.
"Hi, I'm Kevin, I'm the QB," Kevin 
said.
"What scene are you going to be doing for 
us?" O'Neill
asked.
"Uh," Kevin looked 
down at the script in his hands,
"Waiting for Godot, scene 
one." He said, mangling 
the
pronunciation.
"Ohhh, 'Waiting for Godot,' 
excellent choice." Unlike
Kevin, O'Neill pronounced the name 
correctly.
Kevin lookeddown at the script and began to 
read. "Act
One, Scene one. Two men are 
standing..."
"Hehehe, Kevin, you don't have to 
set the scene for us,
just act our the 
dialogue."
"Oh, ok." Kevin resumed his 
recitation. "Vlad...Vladimir:
What are we doing here? He paces. 
Es...estra...Estragon! We're
waiting for Godot. Estragon sits down 
and rubs his feet."
"Now Kevin, you're not 
supposed to read the parts in parenthesis,
you're supposed to do 
that."
"Ok, not a problem." Kevin picked 
up where he left
off. "Vladimir: Why are you rubbing your feet? 
Estragon..."
Kevin quickly sat down and began to rub his foot. 
"Estragon:
Because my toe 
hurts!"
"Thank-you Kevin, that's enough," 
O'Neill said hastily.
"Are you sure? There's a lot 
more play left."
"No, no, I think we've all 
seen your range as an actor."
"About as far as 
I can throw him," Jane muttered.
"Did I get a 
part?" Kevin asked.
"Well, it's a little early 
in the casting process, I'll
let you know, but hehe, don't get your 
hopes up, there are a lot
of other 
contenders."
"Cool, Coach wouldn't let me be 
in the play anyway, he
says I've got to keep practicing," Kevin 
left the stage.
"Ok then, who'd like to go 
next?" O'Neill asked.
Another student raised a hand. 
"Great, get up there and show
us what you've 
got."
One by one the students all got up on the 
stage and did little
segments from various plays with varying degrees 
of skill. Eventually
no one was left except for 
Quinn.
"So, has everyone tried out that wants 
to?" O'Neill
asked.
"Not quite Mr. O'Neill, 
there's one left!" Jane called
out.
"Who said 
that? Oh, Jane, are you trying out?"
Jane shook her 
head, "Not me, but Quinn said she was 
going
to."
"I don't know what possessed me to 
sit next to you,"
Quinn hissed.
"Hey, I'm just 
giving you the kick in the ass you so 
richly
need."
"Quinn, this is wonderful, why 
don't you show us your
acting chops," O'Neill said 
happily.
Quinn made her way up to the stage. She scanned 
the crowd and
breathed a deep sigh of relief when she realized she 
didn't recognize
most of the faces she saw. "And besides," 
she thought,
"all the people I do recognize are losers, and who 
cares
about them?"
"So, what will you be 
performing for us today?" O'Neill
asked.
"I'm 
going to be doing a passage from 'Antony and Cleopatra,'
Act IV Scene 
15," Quinn said confidently. She looked down
at the piece of 
paper she was holding and took a deep breath to
compose 
herself.
"No more but even a woman, and commanded 
by such poor
passion as the maid that milks and does the meanest 
chores,"
Quinn began dramatically as she launched into her 
recitation.
"It were for me to throw my scepter at the injurious 
gods;"
She started pacing around the stage, gesticulating 
wildly. "To
tell them that this world did equal theirs till they 
had stolen
our jewel. But all's naught; patience is scotted and 
impatience
does become a dog that's made: Then it is sin to rush into 
the
secret house of death before death dare come to us?" 
Quinn
laid an arm across her forehead in mock 
pain.
"Oh brother," Jane muttered as she 
watched Quinn
chew scenery on the bare stage.
Quinn 
continued her performance, "How dare you woman?
What, what! Good 
cheer! Why how now Charmian! My noble girls,
ah women, women look our 
lamp is spent, it's out! Good sire take
heart we'll bury him and 
then, what's brave, what's noble let's
do it after the high Roman 
fashion and make death proud to take
us. Come away: this case of that 
huge spirit now is cold: ah woman!
Woman! Come, we have no friend but 
resolution and the briefest
end." Quinn concluded the soliloquy 
solemnly.
Jane did her best to keep from laughing as the 
rest of the
group digested Quinn's over the top performance. Soon 
O'Neill
began to clap, "Quinn, that was very good. I'm sure we 
can
find a part of two for you after that strong 
performance."
Quinn looked aghast at hearing this, 
"Me, have a part
in a school play? Do I have to? I mean I'm like 
so busy with all
my other activities."
"Then 
why did you try out for the play if you didn't intend
to take 
part?"
Quinn looked around and realized she was 
stuck. "I suppose
I can fit in the play too," she muttered, 
head hung dejectedly.
"Excellent, now then I'll 
have the cast listings posted
tomorrow and we'll have a read through 
of the play after school.
At that time I'll hand out the rehearsal 
schedule and we can start
talking about who gets what role. Thank-you 
for coming everyone;
let's give ourselves a big round of 
applause." O'Neill was
the only one to applaud. "Eh, hehe, 
well now, if all the
people interested in the technical side of the 
production would
mind staying a few more minutes I'd like to have a 
few words with
you. Everyone else can go with my 
thanks."
"Great," Jane muttered, 
"I'm glad to know my
afternoon won't be a total waste." 
People began to file out
of the auditorium until at last the only 
people left were Jane,
O'Neill, the trio Jane had been watching and 
another girl. 
O'Neill looked around and cleared his 
throat nervously, "Ah
well, it looks like a gathering of the 
usual suspects. Why don't
you boys sit down here so we can start 
talking about how we're
going to stage this play. You too Ann." 
He called out to
the other girl.
Jane cleared her 
throat, "Ah Mr. O'Neill, I'd like to
sign on for this suicide 
mission."
"Jane, that's wonderful," 
O'Neill gushed. "So
you'd like to paint a mural for 
us?"
"No!' Jane said 
sharply.
"Oh," O'Neill said, crestfallen. 
"Well I'm sure
we can find something for you to do, right 
Mike?" He asked
a red haired youth.
"Yeah, 
sure we always can use another person to aim spots
at," the boy 
said sullenly. He glared at Jane for good 
measure.
"Great," Jane thought, "I can be 
the outsider
in a group of outsiders. Boy you sure have the best 
plans Jane."
"Don't let Mike get to you, he 
can be a little protective
of his turf, but he's a good guy 
underneath," A voice said
from beside her.
Jane 
jerked her head around and saw that the girl O'Neill called
Ann had 
sat down beside her. "Well sure, who doesn't love
a standoffish, 
territorial asshole, I know they're my 
favorite
people."
"Me too, Mike and I are 
going out." Ann said.
Jane's face reddened a little 
"Oh jeez, I didn't mean,
er, if I had known...uh, I'm 
sorry?" She finished lamely.
"Are you sorry 
for insulting my boyfriend, or sorry that
he is my boyfriend?" 
Jane slouched down in her seat. "Would you like me 
to
kill myself now, or dig my grave a little 
deeper?"
"I think you should stop while you're 
ahead." The
girl held out a hand, "Hi I'm Ann Raeder. I'm 
in charge of
the costumes, props, makeup, and general 'talent' 
wrangling."
Jane shook Ann's hand, "Jane Lane 
at your service, former
artiste supreme, currently on the lookout for 
a new hobby."
"What are you interested in 
doing?" Ann asked.
"I dunno, what does he 
do?" Jane pointed to the tall
member of the 
group.
"Ryan? He builds the sets and helps out with 
the lights,
why do you ask?"
Jane shrugged, 
"He seems like a nice enough 
fellow."
"You mean you think he's cute."
"That too," Jane said with a 
smirk.
"May I suggest you talk to him before making 
any decisions."
"Why?" Jane asked 
guardedly, "Is he a flaming ass
or 
something?"
"No, nothing quite like 
that," Ann said cautiously.
"Ryan is just Ryan and that's 
not something everyone can
handle."
"Oh pish, 
I've yet to meet anyone who's too much for me to
handle," Jane 
said confidently.
"Yeah, sure, don't say I didn't 
warn you."
"Besides, it's not like I'm looking 
for someone to go out
with anyway. I'm here to help put on a play, 
not to meet guys."
"But it doesn't hurt to 
look right?"
"Damn straight," Jane said 
agreeably.
They lapsed into silence as Ann focused on 
the discussion between
O'Neill and Ann's boyfriend, Mike. Jane took 
the opportunity to
size up Ann. She had almost classic Teutonic 
features, pale skin,
blond hair, and blue eyes. It was hard to gauge 
her height since
she was sitting, but Jane guessed she was a little 
taller than
the other girl was. Ann's clothes did not scream rich, 
but they
also did not bespeak of crushing poverty 
either.
"Must be a junior," Jane mused, 
"I don't remember
seeing her in any classes." She paused, 
"Though that's
not saying much." She realized O'Neill and 
Mike had stopped
talking and that the teacher was now addressing the 
rest of the
group.
"...I know we've got a lot of 
work to do, but I'm confident
that we can pull it off." He 
stopped, "I almost forgot,
there is going to be another student 
working on sound for 
the
production."
"What?" Mike exclaimed, 
"That's Greg's job."
"And I'm sure Greg 
can use a hand in running the 
soundboard."
"Who is it?" The student 
named Greg asked.
"Oh dear, I seem to have 
forgotten his name, but he did seem
quite qualified to help us out. 
At any rate he'll be with us at
rehearsal tomorrow. Which is a nice 
way to segue into my next
announcement. Our first read through of the 
play will be tomorrow.
I'll expect all of you to be here as well so 
you can begin familiarizing
yourselves with the 
play."
"Are we going to be getting scripts 
this time?" Mike
asked.
"Well, no, probably 
not. There are an awful lot of parts,
and the budget can only stretch 
so far. But on the brighter side,
our request for new lights was 
approved."
"It was?" The group asked 
collectively.
"Yes, on the condition that we 
produce audio and video copies
of the performance to sell as a way to 
recoup some of the expenses
for the lighting 
equipment."
"Whose brilliant idea was 
that?" Greg asked.
"Ms. Li's so there's 
nothing we can do about it. I think
it's exciting, the Lawndale High 
Theater starring it its very
own movie."
"That 
nobody will buy," Jane muttered.
O'Neill looked 
down at his watch, "Oh dear, I have to go.
I'm late 
for...err...an appointment and I don't want to upset
Janet...er, the 
person I'm meeting." O'Neill gathered up
his briefcase and 
scurried out of the auditorium.
"Don't forget the 
safety word!" Ryan, the tall crewmember,
called out to the 
departing teacher.
The door slammed shut and Jane looked 
around. "Hey, well,
I'm Jane Lane and I just can't wait to get 
started on this,"
she said with mock 
cheerfulness.
Mike looked at her for a long moment then 
sighed, "What the
hell, welcome to the theatah!" He said 
dramatically and swept
his arms open to encompass the space. 
"I'm Mike Grissom,
I suppose I'm the head tech. That meansI get 
to design the lights
and the sets, plus I run the light board during 
the performance.
The 'twins' over there," Mike pointed to the 
other two disparately
sized techs, "are Greg Enfield and Ryan 
Traczewski. Greg
does a lot of the work up on the catwalk and runs 
the soundboard.
Ryan builds the sets and helps out with whatever. I 
take it you've
already met the lovely and talented Ann?" Jane 
nodded. "Great,
do you have time for a quick tour of your new 
home?"
Jane shrugged, "If I had anywhere 
better to go, I'd already
be there."
Ryan chuckled, 
Mike looked a little put out, "Ok, we'll start
from the top and 
work our way down, come on up on stage."
He motioned for Jane to 
follow him onto the stage. "This
is the stage, obviously. Here's 
where the 'magic' takes place,"
the disdain in his voice was 
evident. "Stage right, left,
and center. The big wall back there 
is called the cyc." He
waved his arm in various directions, 
indicating these landmarks.
"Ok, let's go backstage." He 
led Jane off to one side
of the stage. "Backstage, exciting 
huh?"
Jane looked around at the jumble of equipment 
and set pieces strewn
about. "I'm thrilled to death," she 
replied.
Mike smiled slightly, "You might just have 
the proper attitude
for this job after 
all."
"Thanks...I think."
"Let's 
go check out the fun part of the theater, the catwalk."
Mike 
walked over to a ladder with a cage surrounding its base.
He turned 
the door's combination lock before opening the door.
"I hope 
you're not afraid of heights."
Jane regarded the 
ladder coolly, "I've painted frescos on
higher ceilings, lead 
on."
He shrugged, "Ok then, I guess I don't 
have to warn you not
to look down." He scampered up the 
ladder.
Jane took a deep breath and followed Mike up. 
Climbing the ladder
did not prove to be challenging, but transferring 
from the ladder
to the catwalk did provide a brief moment of concern. 
She managed
the transition without falling to her death and found 
herself
standing on a dimly lit catwalk.
"Glad you 
could join us," Mike said sardonically.
"Oh 
shove it," Jane replied curtly.
"Well that 
sure is a pithy comeback."
"It's the altitude. 
It does strange things to my head."
"Right, 
anyway, this is the catwalk, we set up the lights
that illuminate the 
stage here. We're standing on the Number one
bar, there are also bars 
three and five further back to get different
angles for 
lighting."
"What happened to two and 
four?" Jane asked.
"We don't talk about two 
and four," Mike said 
plainly.
"Oookay."
Mike shrugged, 
"That's how they were named when we got
here, and nobody felt 
like changing it."
Jane figured it wasn't worth the 
bother to think about it,
"I can accept 
that."
"Hey Mike!" Ann called out from 
below.
"Yeah?" Mike asked, looking down at the 
stage.
"I need to get going and you promised me a 
ride."
"Damn, right, one second." He 
hurried past Jane on
his way to the ladder. "Looks like I have 
to go, want to
continue this tomorrow?"
Jane 
shrugged, "Why not?"
"Great, see you tomorrow then." He started down the ladder then stopped, "Oh, and welcome aboard." Mike disappeared down the ladder.
Jane waited until she heard Mike reach the floor 
before making
her own, much slower, descent. She found Ryan sitting 
on the edge
of the stage.
"Hey," he said, 
standing up.
"Hey," Jane 
replied.
"How was your 
tour?"
"Abbreviated."
He nodded, "That's probably for the best, Mike likes to
throw a lot o 
f stuff at the newbies to scare them off. The trick
is not to get to 
worried about the terminology and just do what
you're told, the rest 
comes in time."
"Thanks for the 
tip."
Ryan smiled, "No problem. Hey, do you 
need a ride home?"
"Uh, I don't...oh what the 
hell, why not? You're not a
mass murderer or anything are 
you?"
"No, I left the axe at 
home."
"And you're not going to break up with 
me and start going
out with my back-stabbing best friend are 
you?"
"Whoa, when did we start 
going out?"
"Oh damn, I said that out loud 
didn't I?"
"Care to talk about 
it?"
Jane shook her head, "Not with you, not 
right now at least."
Ryan nodded, "Uh, ok, 
still want that ride? No strings
attached."
Jane 
sighed, "Yeah sure, beats the 
alternative."
"Great, let me just lock the 
theater up and we can go."
Jane waited outside the 
theater patiently as Ryan ran a heavy
chain through the door handles 
of the theater's main doors. He
secured the chain with a large Master 
lock.
"You've actually got a key to the 
theater?" Jane
asked when Ryan was 
finished.
"Yeah, that and ones for the main doors 
and the security
system."
"Wow, how'd you get 
so lucky?"
"Li likes to rent the theater out 
to whoever's got the
cash, and we all got keys so we can run the 
theater during those
productions."
"Get any 
kickbacks?"
"About ten bucks an 
hour."
"Cool, sounds like a profitable 
racket."
"It is, though I do have to sit 
through the shows in order
to get the 
cash."
"They're that 
bad?"
"Ass lousy doesn't even begin to 
describe them,"
Ryan said as they walked down the 
hall.
"Ouch, still a key to the security system has 
to be pretty
cool."
"Oh, it is, and the best 
part is there's no way of knowing
who's deactivated the 
system."
"Now that opens the door for all 
sorts of fun scenarios,"
Jane said 
thoughtfully.
Ryan chuckled, "Trust me, we've done 
most of them. Though
you didn't hear me say that," he hastily 
added.
"Hear what?" Jane said 
blandly.
"You're a pretty cool person Jane. I think 
you'll fit
in just fine with the rest of us theater wonks. Here, let 
me get
that door for you." Ryan pushed open the 
door.
"Why thank-you, though I hope you don't think 
that acts
of outmoded chivalry will impress 
me."
Ryan shrugged, "It never hurts to be a 
little gallant
from time to time."
"You will 
notice I did thank you."
"And you're very much 
welcome for those thanks,"
he replied 
lightly.
"Hey, why did Ann warn me about 
you?"
He laughed, "She did? What did she 
say?"
"That you're a person not everyone can 
handle."
He chuckled, "She's too kind. What 
did you make of that
comment?"
Jane stared at him 
evenly, "That I'm not most everyone."
They 
stared at each other for a long moment before Ryan looked
away. 
"Uh, my car's over there," he said lamely, pointing
to a 
nondescript blue sedan. Ryan let Jane into the car and they
drove off 
in silence.
"While I'm sure driving around 
aimlessly does have it
merits, mind telling me where I'm going?" 
Ryan asked, finally
breaking the silence.
"Oh, yeah, that would be a good idea wouldn't it?" Jane started to give Ryan directions to her home.
"So, uh, Ryan, tell me 
a little about yourself."
"Let's see, well, 
for starters I'm a senior like you."
"Really, 
we must have different schedules then."
Ryan shook 
his head, "I'm afraid not, we're in a lot of
the same 
classes."
"Then why didn't I recognize 
you?"
"Just how often do you look behind you 
in class?"
he asked dryly.
Jane frowned, 
"Yeah, I guess me paying attention in class
would be required, 
so I take it you recognized me."
"Just as a 
pretty face I like to look at in class."
"Gee, 
my own personal stalker."
Ryan shrugged, "You 
know how it goes when you're bored,
you start checking out all the 
girls."
"You can't win for trying, do you know 
that?" Jane
said chuckling.
Ryan smiled, 
"Story of my life, but you are 
pretty."
"Who am I to turn down a compliment. 
Ok, so you're a horny
little toad with a keen eye and sophisticated 
tastes, what else?"
As Ryan began describing his 
family Jane took the opportunity
to check out the teen up close. He 
was tall, easily over six feet.
His brown hair was roughly as long as 
Jane's and was currently
held in place with a reversed baseball cap. 
A pair of cheery,
blue eyes looked out from his open, friendly face. 
He obviously
did not maintain the most rigorous exercise regimen, but 
he was
not overweight by any means. He wore a simple pair of blue 
jeans,
t-shirt, and an unbuttoned over shirt. Everything about him, 
from
his car to his clothes spoke of a solid middle-class 
background.
"...So that's basically the Traczewski 
family. Me, my
dad the data base administrator, and my mom, the city 
worker."
Ryan said, concluding his family 
history.
"Wow, aren't you a child of 
privilege."
Ryan shrugged, "Nothing fancy, 
just the descendent of
hard-working Polish immigrants, with a little 
Irish thrown in
for good measure. What about you? I know you style 
yourself an
outsider and are friends with that dour chick, but other 
than
that there are some blanks in my 
knowledge."
"What can I say, four other Lane 
children have passed
through Lawndale High's hallowed halls before 
me. My parents are
rarely home and I live with my brother. We somehow 
manage to scrape
by and live every teen's dream of a life free of 
parental interference--at
least overt 
interference."
"Damn, that's got me beat by a 
mile."
"Don't feel bad, you came up against a 
Master. When it
comes to dysfunctional family arrangements only the 
Brady Bunch
has the Lanes beat."
"They were 
pretty freaky weren't they?"
"And yet we could 
never look away."
"Very much like a train 
wreck," Ryan agreed.
"My house is the next one 
on the right," Jane said
suddenly.
"Ok then, 
boy that sure is your house isn't it?"
Ryan commented as he 
pulled the car into the driveway and turned
the engine 
off.
"I'll just take that as a compliment and move 
on,"
Jane said dryly.
"Go for 
it."
"Well, thanks for the ride," Jane 
said as she got
out of the car.
"Here, let me walk 
you to the door," Ryan said quickly
as he exited the 
vehicle.
"I really don't think that's necessary 
it's not even twenty
feet," Jane 
protested.
"But who knows what might happen in 
those intervening
twenty feet, a meteor might hit you on the head, or 
something."
"Oh really, and just how are you 
going to save me from
a falling chunk of the cosmos?" Jane 
asked, arms folded across
her chest and a bemused smirk on her 
face.
"I'd push you out of the way at the last 
second,"
he replied confidently.
Jane sighed, "Fine, 
you can walk me to the door, but you
aren't coming inside, I'm not 
that kind of girl."
"I wasn't implying that 
you are. Nor was I trying to get
an invitation into you house. I just 
want to fulfil my chivalric
duties and see you to your door, it's the 
gallant thing to do."
"Do you really think 
this is going to impress me?"
He shrugged, "It 
can't hurt can it?"
Jane shook her head, "I 
guess not. Come on, you can aid
me on the trek across the vast 
distance to my door," she
said 
sardonically.
"Excellent, shall we be off 
then?"
"No, I want to stand out here all 
night," Jane said
as she started walking to her 
house.
"You've got a lot of pent up hostility don't 
you,"
Ryan commented as he fell into step with 
Jane.
She shrugged, "So the guidance counselor told 
me in sixth
grade."
"What did you do in the 
sixth grade?"
"I called my art teacher a 
Philistine for not giving me
an A on a 
project."
Ryan laughed, "Why am I not 
surprised."
"I don't think Mrs. Dawkins knew 
what a Philistine was."
"Did 
you?"
"Not really, I remembered my parents 
calling someone that,
it seemed like a good thing to say at the 
time."
"So, what possessed you to sign on with 
the theater crew?"
"It's kind of a long 
story..." Jane began.
"Then why don't you tell 
it to me, say over dinner?"
Ryan asked 
hopefully.
Jane chuckled, "Are you asking me 
out?"
"Maybe I am, what's it to 
you?"
"Well I'd like to, believe me I 
would."
"I sense a but coming on," Ryan 
said sourly.
"...but, now's not the best time for 
me."
"Let me guess, this has something to do 
with the back
stabbing best-friend?"
Jane sighed, 
"Yeah, something like that, but that's another
long 
story."
"Care to tell me that one tonight, not 
as a date or anything,
just as a friend?" Ryan asked, one 
eyebrow quirked in an
inviting fashion.
Jane was about 
to answer Ryan when she saw a familiar car pull
up in front of her 
house, "Uhm, can I take a rain check on
that, I've got 
company."
Ryan looked over and saw Daria and Tom 
walking up, "Let
me guess, the back stabbing best friend, and 
the cause of the
back stabbing."
"Something 
like that, yeah. But she still is my best friend
so I would like to 
talk to her."
Ryan nodded, "Ok, you can tell 
me all about it tomorrow
at rehearsal."
"Sure 
thing, I love talking about my personal life with
virtual 
strangers."
Ryan chuckled, "While I might be a 
little strange I hope
I'm not a stranger for much 
longer." 
He reached over and gave Jane a quick hug.
"Hey, 
watch the hands buster!" Jane snapped.
"Don't 
worry, I'm just a hugging person, nothing was meant
by it. Unless you 
want it to of 
course," he said, leering playfully. 
"See you tomorrow
Jane," Ryan waved to Jane and 
walked 
past a surprised Daria and Tom.
"Uh, hi guys," 
Jane said to her friend and ex. "What
brings you two 
here?"
-------------------------------------
Earlier that afternoon while Jane was sitting through bad 
high
school acting, Tom and Daria 
were sitting through bad 
television.
"You know this show really has fallen 
on hard times. You'd
think an expose on green-eyed 
man goats 
would be more interesting," Tom said 
dryly.
"Mmm," Daria replied.
Tom 
looked over at Daria and saw she was staring at apoint
above the 
television, "But the 
piece on girlfriends who stare at 
inanimate objects to avoid talking
to their boyfriends was 
quite 
good."
"I wasn't avoiding you, I was just 
thinking."
"Really, penny for your 
thoughts."
"Come on, you can afford to pay 
much more than that."
"Ok, a buck fifty, but 
that's my final offer."
"Cheap 
skate."
"The Sloanes didn't get rich by 
throwing money around,"
Tom said sagely. "We only pay 
fair value for what we buy."
"And my 
thoughts are only worth a buck 
fifty?"
"Actually, it's all I have in my 
pocket right now."
Daria shrugged, "Good 
enough, pay up."
"You're 
serious."
"Hey, you offered, who am I to 
refuse such a generous
offer?"
"You're far too 
mercenary for you own good, you know that
right?" Tom grumbled 
as he 
handed Daria the loose change from his 
pocket.
"I blame my parents, society, and the 
Internet,"
Daria said as she took the money from 
Tom. 
"I'm really worried about Jane."
"Why, 
you did try to talk to her, right?"
"Oh we 
talked, she quite happily explained to me why she's
giving up 
art."
"She what?"
"That 
was my reaction too."
"But 
why?"
"She says she's lost the fire or 
something like that.
Her logic seemed shaky at best to 
me."
"What is she going to do 
now?"
"I'm not entirely sure, but I have my 
suspicions."
"Want to go by her house and see 
how she's doing?"
"Uh sure," Daria said 
hesitantly, "that's not
quite what I expected you to 
say."
"What you thought I was going to say 
that Jane has to
live her own life through her own choices and 
whatever we say
doesn't matter?"
"Something 
like that yeah."
Tom shrugged, "This just 
sounds so off for her, something
must be up, and chances are good 
that whatever is bothering her
will spill over to you and then I'll 
affect me so I figured we
take care of the problem now, before it 
spreads."
Daria smirked, "Your logic is as 
impeccable as always
Mr. Sloane."
"Why thank 
you for thinking so Ms. Morgendorffer."
"When 
do you want to leave?"
Daria thought for a moment, 
"How about when the marathon
is over, no sense in bugging Jane 
while that's on."
Tom arched an eyebrow, "So 
you're worried about Jane's
well being, but not enough to keep 
you from watching Sick Sad World?"
"It's 
kind of like this. I offered to go and do something
with Jane 
tonight, before I knew 
you were free and she basically blew me 
off."
"And you don't want to stick your head 
back into the proverbial
lion's mouth?" Tom 
finished for 
Daria.
"Exactly."
"And 
you're not thrilled with the prospect of me and Jane
under one 
roof."
"That too."
"And 
you're perfectly content here with me, and you don't
want to wreck 
the mood."
"Quit while you're ahead 
Sloane."
"Come on Daria, admit it, you like 
this 'quality time.'
There's no shame in saying so." He wrapped 
an arm around
Daria's shoulders.
Daria stiffened, then 
relaxed against Tom, "Why the hell
do you always have to be so 
damn 
right?" She growled.
Tom chuckled, 
"You show affection in the strangest 
ways."
"At least I don't have pleasure mixed 
up with pain."
"You don't? Damn, there goes 
that fantasy."
Daria punched Tom on the arm, 
"Twit, watch the TV."
Several hours later 
Daria and Tom were driving up to Jane's
house.
"We 
should have come sooner," Tom said.
"Who 
could've known that special on the Spanish Inquisition
was going to 
air?"
"I for one wasn't expecting it, but then 
again..."
"Don't say it Python Boy," 
Daria threatened.
"All right, all right...say, 
whose car is that?"
Tom asked, seeing Ryan's car in the 
driveway.
"Forget the car, who's that?" Daria 
asked, pointing
at Ryan.
"The owner of the car I'd 
say."
"You think?" Daria asked 
sarcastically. "That
much I figured out, I want to know who he 
is."
"I don't know, we go to different 
schools remember."
"Oh 
yeah."
"Should we go introduce 
ourselves?"
"I don't...crap, Jane saw us, I 
guess we don't have a
choice any more."
"I 
still could floor it," Tom said 
helpfully.
"No, that wouldn't be 
mature."
"What's the fun in being mature? I'm 
sure there's a show
on the peasant revolutions in 
Renaissance 
Germany on right now."
"Tom out of the 
car."
Tom sighed and killed the ignition. "Yes 
ma'am."
They got out of Tom's car and walked to the 
front door. Daria's
eyes widened when she 
saw Ryan hug Jane. 
"Looks to me like Jane's doing pretty well for 
herself,"
Tom quipped. Daria couldn't form a 
comment. They 
watched in silence as Jane and Ryan said their good-byes.
Ryan walked 
past them and neither he nor they said hello. When Ryan was 
past
them Daria nudged Tom 
in the ribs and they continued 
walking towards Jane.
"So you have no clue who that 
was?" Tom whispered
to Daria.
"No clue, he 
might be in one of my classes though."
"You 
think?"
Daria shot Tom a disapproving glare, but 
Jane's greeting cut
off any further comment.
"Uh hi 
guys, what's up?"
"We were in the neighborhood 
and just decided to drop
by," Tom 
answered.
"Right, Daria, why are you and lover boy 
really here?"
"Because we're worried about 
you Jane, you've been acting
weird the past couple days and 
I--we, want to know if there's anything we can do to 
help."
"Truthfully Daria, I'm fine. I 
appreciate your concern,
but you don't have to 
worry."
"Then who was that 
guy?"
"Oh, that was Ryan, he gave me a ride 
home, that's all."
"He sure was here a long 
time, school's been out for hours,"
Daria said dryly. 
"Nah, Ryan and I just got here as 
well."
Daria arched an eyebrow, "Really, 
that's quite a few missing
hours there, what's the 
mystery?"
Jane shrugged, "No mystery, I 
stayed after the play tryouts
to get a tour of the theater, 
there's nothing going on between--oh crap," Jane 
exclaimed
suddenly when she realized 
what she had just 
said.
Daria smirked, "I thought 
so."
"You volunteered for a school play?" 
Tom asked.
"Yes I did, and I'm getting extra credit 
in English to
do so. Got a problem with 
that?"
"No, not at all, just surprised that's 
all. I didn't think
you were much for joining 
things."
"Neither did I," Daria added, 
"And Mr. O'Neill's
made the same extra credit offer every year 
and you've never taken the bait before."
Jane 
sighed, "If you must know I'm doing the theater thing
because 
otherwise I'd be bored 
beyond belief. I mean you two are 
spending more time together,
and that's perfectly fine. I 
don't 
want to be an extraneous wheel, that would just be too 
weird."
"An excellent point," Tom added 
hastily, Daria frowned.
"And since I decided to 
give up art I had to do something
to pass the time, and going on a 
crime spree seemed like a bad idea. So I figured why not 
give
the theater thing a try."
"And it's 
purely a coincidence that a cute guy is involved,"
Daria said. 
This time it was 
Tom's turn to frown.
"He 
wasn't that good looking," he groused.
"Uh-oh 
Daria, you've gone and made Tom jealous,"
Jane said, 
smirking.
"Hey don't try to change the subject, 
we're talking about
you here," Tom 
protested.
"He's right, you're ducking the 
question. I'll address
Tom's issue 
later."
"All right, no I didn't volunteer to 
be a tech just because
Ryan is on the crew, the extra credit 
really was a big incentive for me," she paused, 
"Ryan
is just a bonus."
"So this isn't 
some cry for help?"
Jane shook her head, "Nah, 
I'm just trying to find my
way."
"You do know 
the theater's considered one of the arts,"
Tom 
commented.
"Yeah, so?" Jane shrugged, 
"I'm not painting,
sculpting, throwing pots, or any of that 
other 
crap I used to do. I'm not acting in the play, I'm just 
helping
put it together."
"If you 
insist."
"Hey, it's not like I'm trying out 
for the cheerleading
squad again. This is the theater, is 
there 
anything more outsider I could have 
joined?"
"I suppose not," Daria 
admitted.
"Look Daria, I appreciate your concern, 
but I'm ok. I'm
just trying out something new 
right now that's 
all. You can chalk it up to my 'impulsive nature'
if it makes you 
feel any 
better."
"You're really 
ok?" Daria asked.
"I'm fine," Jane said 
emphatically.
"I hate to break up this love fest, 
but I have to get
home in time for dinner. Daria, do you 
want a 
ride home?" Tom asked.
"Uh," Daria said 
hesitantly, looking at Jane.
"It's ok Daria, you 
can go."
"You're 
sure?"
"Of course I'm sure!" Jane 
shouted. "I'm glad
you came by Daria, but I'm not some invalid 
who needs to be hovered over."
"All 
right," Daria hesitated, "Talk to you 
tomorrow
then?"
"But of course, see you later 
Daria."
"Bye Jane," Daria walked to Tom's 
car.
Tom turned to leave but Jane caught him by the arm, 
"Hey
Tom."
"Yeah?"
" 
;Does she really mean that much to 
you?"
"What?"
"Daria, 
do you really care that much for her? There's
no way you'd be 
standing there if it 
wasn't because of 
her."
Tom shuffled his feet, "I'd like to 
think you and I have
reached some level of friendship since our 
breakup."
"That's crap, how many of you 
ex-girlfriends have you
actively sought out to inquire about 
their well being?"
"Well, er, you're the 
first, but keep in mind there aren't
nearly as many as people 
think."
"And would you be here if it wasn't 
for Daria?"
"Would any of 
us?"
"That's a wonderfully vague way of 
evading the question."
Tom shook his head, 
"No, it's a valid question. Would
either of us be at this place 
if Daria 
wasn't around?"
Jane shrugged, 
"I don't know...but I'm not blaming for
her for anything. And 
I'm not 
wishing she wasn't here."
"I 
agree."
"So, to repeat my question, does she 
really mean so much
to you that you'd visit your ex-
girlfriend 
at her insistence?"
Tom thought for a moment, 
"Well, I'm here aren't I? So
I guess she 
does."
Jane nodded, "That's cool. Don't screw 
this one up Sloane."
"Or what, you'll come 
take me out?"
"It's not me you should be 
worried about, it's her,"
Jane nodded in Daria's 
direction.
"True, I'll have to remember that. Well, 
I do have to
go, bye Jane."
"Bye Tom," 
Jane watched Tom and Daria get into Tom's
car then drive off. She let 
herself into the house and started
scrounging for 
dinner.
"What was that all about?" Daria asked 
Tom as they
drove to the Morgendorffer 
residence.
"Oh nothing, just clearing the air over 
a few old issues,
it wasn't anything really earth shattering," 
Tom replied
nonchalantly. "So, are you satisfied that Jane's 
ok?"
Daria shook her head, "Not entirely, but 
I appreciate
where she's coming from so I'm not as concerned." 
She shrugged,
"Jane will go to a couple rehearsals, see how 
stupid the
whole affair is and quit, or not, like she said, it is her 
life."
"She never said 
that."
"It was 
implied."
"Ahh...so, what do you want to do 
tomorrow?" Tom
asked, trying to shift the 
conversation.
Daria sense Tom's desire to not talk about Jane and 
let the conversation
drift to other matters. They managed to avoid 
mentioning Jane
for the rest of the 
ride.
---------------------------------------
Quinn looked up from her book and 
sighed, "No, 'Under
Milkwood' by Dylan 
Thomas."
Daria arched an eyebrow in surprise, 
"Thomas huh, what's
the reason?"
"Do I 
have to have a reason to read great 
literature?"
"Quinn your idea of great 
literature has always been the
annual mascara edition of 'Waif.' 
I'm not buying it."
Quinn sighed, "All 
right, I'm reading it for Mr. 
O'Neill's
class."
"See now if you'd just 
said...wait a minute, that wasn't
on our reading list last 
year."
"He, uh, added it this 
year?"
"I don't think so, not with that 
school's budget."
"Ok, I'm reading it for 
extra credit. Does that satisfy
your 
curiosity?"
Daria shrugged," I suppose 
so...hold on, isn't that the
play they're 
doing?"
"So?"
"And 
didn't O'Neill offer extra credit to anyone who tried
out for a 
part?"
"I guess, I wasn't exactly paying 
attention," Quinn
said nervously.
"Uh-huh, let 
me just throw out a random guess here, let
me know how close to the 
mark I 
get. I think you heard about the O'Neill's offer for the 
extra
credit and so you auditioned, 
only you ended up with a 
part, despite your best efforts to the
contrary. Am I on the right 
track here?"
Quinn hung her head, "That 
pretty much sums it up. He
didn't even let me turn down his 
offer."
"How awful for you. You tried to 
abuse the system and
got caught."
"Daria, this 
is serious, promise you won't tell 
anyone?"
"That would require me to talk right? 
Don't worry, your
secret is safe with 
me."
"Thank-you, this is the sort of thing 
that could ruin
me. Having the starring role in the 
school play, 
what was I thinking?"
"Quinn, how much of that 
play have you read?"
"I haven't gotten past 
the introduction, why?"
"The sub-title is 'A 
Play for Voice.' There are over thirty
parts and none of them could 
be 
considered a starring role."
"How do 
you know, have you read the play?"
"No, but I 
did read a biography of Thomas that described
the play. Sorry Quinn, 
you're in 
an ensemble piece."
"I'm sure 
you find this all very amusing," 
Quinn
groused.
"No more than anything else in 
life," Daria replied.
"If Mom or Dad are looking for me 
I'll 
be in my room. Good luck with the Welsh." Daria walked 
off
before Quinn could 
reply.
--------------------------------------
The rest of the day passed without incident and Jane 
soon found
herself back in the theater; this time watching O'Neill 
and the
cast read through the play.
"Are they going 
to get better?" She asked Ryan who
was sitting next to 
her.
"Probably not. Let's go check out the 
booth," he
stood up.
"Is that your come on 
line to all the girls?"
"Only the ones I 
really want to nail," he replied.
"Ok, I won't 
respond to that blatant display of 
testosterone."
Ryan chuckled, "You've taken 
too many classes with Barch."
"And I've taken 
her self-defense class, so you'd better
be on your best 
behavior."
"Say no more, you have nothing to 
worry about from me.
I happen to have quite a fondness for my little 
friends."
"Little huh?" Jane said, 
quirking an eyebrow.
"I meant in relation to the 
rest of me, besides what do
you care? I thought the time wasn't 
right for you, or something."
"You know 
what they say, time heals all."
"And has 
it?" Ryan asked hopefully as he stepped
into Jane's personal 
space.
"Possibly," Jane replied 
coyly.
"Hey Ryan, stop hitting on the new girl and 
get your ass
over here!" Mike said sharply 
from the back of 
the auditorium. 
Jane and Ryan looked at each other for 
another long moment
before chuckling 
nervously.
"The theater waits for no one I 
guess," Ryan said
lamely. "The booth's this way," he 
led Jane to the back
of the theater, coming to a stop in front of a 
recessed door.
"Ok, are you really sure you want to 
do this? Once you
pass through this door your life will be 
irrevocably changed."
"Enough with the ominous 
crap, open the damn door. I'm
already a pretty twisted 
cruller."
"Don't say I didn't warn you," 
Ryan said as he opened
the door and walked into the 
room.
Jane followed, and was met by a wall. To her left 
she saw a
short flight of stairs. She 
ascended the stairs and 
looked around the room. "Well, it's
obvious O'Neill doesn't come 
up 
here too often," she commented dryly. "Are those 
condoms?"
She asked, pointing at a 
group of distinctly 
shaped objects pinned to a makeshift 
alter.
"Welcome to the inner sanctum," Mike 
said grandly.
"Yes, those are condoms, they're 
offerings to 
Leroy, god of the light booth."
"You see one 
night Ann and the three of us were working
late on the lights and we 
had taken adinner break," Ryan
began to 
explain.
"All of a sudden we saw this large black 
guy in the back
of the auditorium." Mike said, 
jumping in. 
"Ann asked him what his name was and the guy
said 'Leroy.' Greg 
offered 
him some pizza, which he refused. All of a sudden Leroy 
was gone,
and when we went 
over to where he had been standing we 
found a fluorescent 
yellow
condom."
"Creepy," Jane commented, 
unconvinced.
"We later decided that we had been 
visited by the god
of the light booth, Leroy, who 
dispenses 
fluorescent yellow condoms to the faithful and smites
the unbelievers 
with badly focused spots."
"We burn some 
incense and offer Leroy a new condom before
every show to appease 
him," 
Greg added.
"It also makes a great 
stress reliever," Ryan whispered
into Jane's 
ear.
"Ok, well, that's pretty strange, but whatever 
gets you
through a show I guess," Jane said 
dubiously.
"Exactly, you're catching on. Now, 
this is the booth,"
Mike said, "You're in the nerve center 
of the play. From here we run the lights and the sound for 
the
show. The light board is on 
the left, the sound board in on 
the right," Mike pointed
to two tables in front of the room's 
dual windows, "In between is the dimmer panel. It's 
like
the fuse box for all the lights in 
the theater. Behind the 
door over there is what we like to call
the Tiki Room. It's where we 
store stuff and just sort of 
relax."
"Uh-huh," Jane said 
non-committally as she took in
the booth. Strings of Christmas lights 
hung from the ceiling and the walls. A large bean bag chair 
lay
in one corner of the room. 
The walls were covered with 
posters from previous productions
as well as other, weirder 
pictures. Jane shrugged, "So what, did you expect me to 
run
screaming from the room 
never to bother your littler world 
again?"
"That was never my intention," 
Ryan said hastily.
"I was talking to your fearless 
leader over there,"
Jane nodded at Mike. "You're trying to 
get in my pants, metaphorically speaking I hope, so I 
figured
you wouldn't be trying to drive 
me 
away."
"I just wanted to let you know what 
you're in for by working
here. Long hours, no pay, no 
respect, 
you have to watch a bunch of half wits try to act for
a couple of 
months, and then 
there's the stress of the actual performance. 
If you think you
can handle all that by all 
means stay. If not 
I'm sure Ann could use a hand with 
makeup."
"Look, I've submitted more pieces art 
for competition
than I can remember, I know all about 
stress, 
and do you know what? It's not a big deal to me because
I know in the 
end it's just 
not the end of the world regardless of the 
outcome." Jane
said angrily, holding her 
ground.
"Jane, I'd love for you to stay, we always 
can use more
hands helping out. I'm just trying to 
let you know 
what you've gotten yourself into."
"Besides we 
can always use her to focus lights on,"
Greg added. Ryan shot 
Greg a dirty 
look.
"Hello, anybody home?" 
A new voice called out. Jane
turned and saw Dave Wylie enter 
the 
booth. He was burdened by a large blue bag slung over one
shoulder, 
and a large spool 
of cable on the 
other.
"Who're you?" Mike asked.
Dave carefully set his bag down and let the 
cables drop. He walked
over to Mike with a 
hand extended. 
"Dave Wylie, pleased to meet you. I volunteered
to run sound for 
the play 
and O'Neill told me to go here."
Mike 
coolly shook Dave's hand, "I'm Mike Grissom, head tech.
That's 
Greg, he's the sound 
chief, that's Ryan, set guy, and that's 
Jane, the newbie. You'll
be working for Greg, 
obviously."
"Ok then, so Greg, how are you plan 
ning on setting things
up?"
Greg, a short 
individual with a shock of curly black hair, looked
a little 
perplexed by the question. "Uh, I'm going to play
the sound 
effects when the cues say to."
"What about the 
house sound? And this recording we have 
to
make?"
"The speakers in the theater have 
worked well enough before.
As for the tapes I guess we'll use a 
camcorder, I don't know,
we haven't talked about it yet. Why, what 
were you planning?"
"I'm glad you asked," 
Dave said happily. "I took
a quick look around the space before 
coming up here and the room's
acoustics seem pretty good so normally 
I'd say mics wouldn't be
necessary. But since we want to record the 
show I'd do this. For
starters I'd hang a pair of B&K 4021's over 
the stage. I'd
back those up with a pair of Neumann TLM-170's, 
probably run cardiod
maybe omni, with one on either side of the 
stage. I'd finish it
all off by running a pair of Schoeps tubes with 
some kind of cardiod
cap from up in the lighting rig, back about oh 
20 feet or so from
the stage. I'll mix those signals at the board, 
which is also
where the sound effects will be added. I'll have all 
the effects
recorded on a DAT. The board signal will then go out to 
the house
speakers, obviously. I've got some JBL's at home I'm not 
using
right now so we can use them here. That's the house sound. 
As
for the recording I'll send a digi-out from the board into 
my
PortaDAT with a timecode module attached to handle the audio.
For 
the visual I'll use a pro model digital camcorder. Then it's
just a 
matter of synching the visual with the audio and you've
got yourself 
a high quality digital tape. We could even record
it on DVD. Unless 
you'd rather do things Greg's way," he
finished with a 
smile.
"Ok, everyone in favor of making Dave chief 
sound guy raise
your hand," Mike said, they all raised a 
hand.
"Ok, it's official. Dave, you're in charge of 
sound. Greg,
help him."
"Cool, come on, let's 
go get to work running mic cable,"
Dave told Greg, who 
reluctantly 
followed him out of the booth.
Jane 
looked at the remaining two techs. "Did any of that
make sense 
to you two?"
Ryan shook his head, "Not a 
bit."
"Uh, yeah, a little," Mike said in 
the hesitant tones
of an unpracticed liar.
"Well 
now what?" Jane asked.
"We sit around, there's 
not much to be done until they
get the play al; blocked out," 
Ryan 
said apologetically.
"That's not entirely 
true," Mike countered. "We
can go check the lights for 
burned out 
bulbs and start training Jane in the finer points of 
rigging."
"If you want to be anal about things 
then yes, that's
what we should be doing," Ryan said, 
giving Jane an "I'm sorry" 
look.
"Yes I want to be anal about it. I don't want 
any unpleasant
surprises later on when we're setting things up. If 
that intrudes
on your plans to hit on Jane I'm sorry, but the play's 
more important
than your love life," Mike said angrily before 
stomping out
of the booth.
Jane's eyes widened in 
surprise, "Jeez, what an ass. I
thought you two were 
friends."
Ryan shrugged, "Mike's just blowing 
off steam. He can
get a little high-strung about things. O'Neill told 
him the new
lights won't be in for another month and he's a touch 
pissy about
it," Ryan said as they followed Mike out of the 
booth.
"And since he couldn't yell at O'Neill he 
ripped you a
new asshole, I get it. Lovely 
personality 
trait."
"Yeah, but we love him 
anyway."
"Why is he the 
boss?"
"He's the one who sat down and read the 
manual to the
light board, that gave him the inside 
track on the 
job."
"Such qualifications," Jane 
quipped.
"Back when we first started out working on 
lights it was,"
Ryan led Jane up onto the 
stage.
"So, what are we doing anyway?" Jane 
asked.
"Checking the lights. Mike's going to lower 
them down
here and we'll plug them in and see 
if they go. If 
they don't we replace the bulb."
"Sounds 
simple enough," Jane replied.
"Oh it is, just 
time consuming."
"You ready down there?" 
Mike called out.
"Lower away," Ryan 
replied.
"Now maybe I'm not seeing something, but 
why are we doing
this? Wouldn't it be easier to 
just check them 
up there?" Jane asked as she watched a light
descend from the 
catwalk.
"You'd think, but the power up there is 
all controlled
from the booth, we have a test plug 
setup down 
here, not to mention a workbench."
"All right, 
I can admit when I'm wrong."
"How were you 
supposed to know? It's a valid question.
Keep asking them and you'll 
be 
up to speed in no time," Ryan said as he caught the 
light.
"Could you untie this rope?" He 
nodded at the 
rope tied to the light.
"Sure thing," Jane 
said helpfully.
Ryan took the light over to a small 
workbench set in a corner
of the backstage area. "Okay, this is 
one of our lighting
instruments, more specifically a spot. I know 
that you've heard
of spotlights, right?" Jane nodded. "This 
is a spotlight.
It throws a lot of light onto wherever you point it. 
We use 'em
as our primary stage illuminators." He rested a hand 
on the
light. 
"These little lever deals control 
the shutters inside
the light which affects the shape of the beam. We 
can also focus
the beam as needed, cool 
huh?"
"I'm positively beside myself," 
Jane replied evenly.
"It's noticeable," Ryan 
replied in similar fashion.
"Ok, let's fire this sucker 
up." He plugged the light
into a special socket and flipped a 
switch. The light blazed into
full glow. Ryan turned it off. "Ok 
one down, a whole assload
to go." He carried the light back over 
to the rope. "Hey
Mike, got the next one set? This one's 
good."
"Great, I'm ready to go up here." 
"Cool, hey Jane would you mind tying the rope back 
onto
this one?"
Jane looked at the light 
hesitantly, "Why don't I hold
it and you 
tie?"
Ryan shrugged, "Okay, whatever suits 
you. Grab hold."
Jane grabbed the light by the yoke 
and 
Ryan expertly secured the rope. "Hoist away!" 
he
shouted.
"So how many of these are there 
exactly?" Jane asked.
"Oh I don't know, fifty 
or sixty."
"Great," Jane muttered. 
"Just what I needed
to hear."
The rest of 
rehearsal passed slowly as Jane helped Ryan test
out the lights. 
Finally though 
the last spot was checked and raised back to its 
perch.
Ryan stretched his sore back, "There that's 
done. Hey
you did good Jane."
"Thanks," 
Jane looked around the theater, "Huh,
I guess we're closing the 
theater again." 
O'Neill and the cast were nowhere to be 
seen.
"That's always the way," Mike said as he 
made his
way down the ladder. "We put in the 
longer hours 
for none of the credit."
"But you're not 
bitter or anything," Jane 
commented
drolly.
"We all deal with it in different 
ways," Greg chimed
in as he joined the growing circle of 
people. "I like to moon the stage at the end of every 
show."
"You're kidding." He said nothing 
to refute the claim.
Jane faced Ryan, "Please tell me he's 
joking."
"I'm afraid not, every show I 
look over and there's Greg
dropping his 
drawers."
"Ewww," Jane shuddered. 
"Uh, no offense,"
she hastily told 
Greg.
"None taken."
"Oh, I 
agree with Jane, there's nothing nastier than Greg's
ass," Ryan 
said, chuckling.
"I don't know about that, I think 
it's kind of sexy,"
Mike said with an affected 
lisp.
"Mike, stay the hell away from Greg's 
ass!" Ann shouted.
Mike jumped, "Uh sorry 
about that sweetie," he rushed
over and kissed Ann. "Are 
you set 
to go?"
She nodded, "I am if you 
are."
"Great," he turned and faced the 
rest of the group,
"Pizza King for dinner?" The group 
nodded in agreement. "How about you Jane, want to come 
with?"
Jane looked at the clock and saw that it was 
well past dinnertime,
"I don't 
know..."
"C'mon Jane, it'll be fun," Ryan 
said encouragingly.
"And hey, there are other people 
around 
so it won't be a date."
Jane pondered for a few 
additional moments before shrugging,
"Only if you 
buy."
"Fine, thought wouldn't that be 
considered a date?"
"Not if other people are 
around," she replied impishly.
"Are you two 
finished? I'm starving." Mike 
interjected.
"Yeah we're done," Jane 
said.
"Hey Dave," Ryan shouted, "We're 
going to Pizza
King, do you want it?"
Dave, who was 
just coming down the catwalk ladder, nodded,
"Ok, cool." 
The group left the 
auditorium and walked to their 
cars.
-----------------------------------------------
Two hours, and several pizzas, later Ryan dropped 
Jane off
at her house. "Well, I hope 
your first rehearsal 
didn't scare you off or anything."
Jane shook her 
head. "Nah, it was kind of fun, in a weird
and twisted kind of 
way."
Ryan chuckled, "That it is," he 
paused. "And
I know I had a lot of fun at 
dinner."
"I did too actually," Jane 
said.
"And I think we could have even more fun if 
it was just
the two of us," he said 
hopefully.
"You never give up do 
you?"
He shook his head, "Not 
easily."
Jane sighed, "If I told you the 
reason why I have to say
no, will you 
stop?"
"Depends on what the reason 
is."
"How about if you just ease up a 
little."
Ryan shrugged, "Hey I'd stop if you 
didn't seem like you
wanted to go out with 
me."
"Now that's an arrogant...well I guess I 
do, kind of.
But it's still an amazingly arrogant 
statement."
"So will 
you?"
"No...and here's why," she added 
hastily when she
saw him deflate. Jane then told Ryan the 
whole 
story of herself, Daria, and Tom, including her adventures
at art 
camp. Ryan sat back 
and listened in silence. "...So that 
brings us up to the
present. I'm ok with Daria and Tom 
going 
out, but I'm still a little too wounded to start dating
again myself, 
not to mention the 
whole lost the will to paint thing. If all 
things were equal I'd
go out with you, but there're 
not so I 
can't. I hope you understand."
Ryan nodded 
somberly, "Yeah, I can. I can't say I'm thrilled
to hear about 
all this, but I can 
deal, maybe."
"So 
you're not going to get mad or storm out in a huff
because I'm not 
willing to go out with 
you?"
"Naw."
"Why 
not?"
"You are interested in going out with me 
right?"
"Yeah."
"Just 
not right 
now."
"Yeah."
"Okay 
then, I'll just keep asking till you 
agree."
"Great, that's all I needed to 
hear."
"There's an easy way to get me to 
stop."
"Oh 
really,"
"Yeah, go out with me," Ryan 
grinned, pleased with
his cleverness.
"I think this 
is where I say goodnight, sir," Jane
said, trying to hide a 
smirk.
"All right," Ryan leaned over and 
hugged Jane. "Take
your time, I'll still be 
here."
"You sure about 
that?"
He nodded, "Yeah, you look like you 
could use a friend,
and I think I can do 
that."
"In that case maybe you can take me out 
to dinner tomorrow
night, as a friend," she added 
pointedly.
"Ok, when and 
where?"
"Whenever, and wherever," Jane 
answered playfully.
"I can handle 
that."
"See you tomorrow 
Ryan."
"Yeah, see you tomorrow 
Jane."
Jane got out of the car and watched Ryan 
drive off. She walked
into her house and found 
Trent sitting on 
the couch.
"Hey Trent."
"Hey 
Janey, whoa, you're home late."
"Yeah, 
rehearsal ran over, and then a bunch of us went
out for 
pizza."
"Sounds like you're having a good 
time."
"I guess I am, for now at 
least."
"That's 
cool."
"I'm going to be in my room if you need 
me."
"Ok, oh, Daria called looking for 
you."
"How many 
times?"
Trent shrugged, "A 
couple."
"I'll call her back then. Take it 
easy Trent."
"Always do 
Jane."
"I know, just don't slip into a coma 
while you're at it,"
Jane joked. She left Trent hacking in 
the living room and walked up to her room. She picked up the 
phone
and dialed the 
Morgendorffer's 
number.
"Hello Morgendorffer residence, all the 
Morgendorffers
you'd want to speak to are already 
on the phone 
if you wish to leave them a message please do so
after the 
beep...beep."
"Hey 
Daria."
"Oh hi Jane, did you just get back 
from rehearsal?"
"Pretty much, we went out for 
some pizza 
afterwards."
"Everybody?"
&qu 
ot;No, just the crew."
"Getting pretty chummy 
with them huh?"
"Oh for Pete's sake. Daria, 
we're not going to go through
this again are 
we?"
"What, me being irrationally jealous over 
a new person
in your life? No, I've gotten over 
that."
"I should hope so, you're dating 
him now after all."
"Please don't bring that 
up right now. I'm trying to be
supportive. What I meant to say was 
that I'm glad you don't hate your fellow 
thespians."
"Well, there is one guy who does 
sort of bug me."
"Who's 
that?"
"Mike, the self-appointed leader. He's 
a bit of an ass."
"Is that like saying Quinn's 
a bit self-absorbed?"
"Something like that 
yes."
"You could always 
quit."
"Wishful thinking Morgendorffer. I'm 
riding this thing
out to the bitter 
end."
"Just so long as you don't regret the 
decision."
"Nah, I've got a feeling this will 
all work out quite
nicely."
"You haven't eaten 
any more of those pickles Trent found
have 
you?"
"Dammit Daria, could you just drop that? 
I offered to
buy you new drapes."
"What 
drapes?"
"Oh, nothing, never mind, it's not 
important, bye Daria,"
Jane said hastily before hanging up 
on Daria. She smirked to herself, "That's one way to end
a 
conversation." She pulled a 
textbook out of her backpack 
and got started on her 
homework.
--------------------------------------
Life proceeded to settle into a routine of sorts for 
Jane.
During school she hung out with 
Daria like always. After 
school she spent her afternoons in the
theater, working on the play. 
Her evenings were either spent at home in an attempt to keep 
on
top of her schoolwork or 
out with Ryan. The production 
progressed with all the attendant
troubles of any technical 
undertaking. One day Jane was helping Mike and Greg rig a set
of 
lights for a specific 
water effect.
"So, how 
are you going to do this?" Jane asked as
she handed a light to 
Mike.
"Normally I'd just use a blue gel, but we got 
these little
things with the new lights." He held 
up a 
small piece of metal with a pattern cut into the middle.
"This 
is a gobo, we install it into 
the light and get a nifty wave 
pattern shown on the floor."
"Oh boy, isn't 
this a red letter day."
"You know if you don't 
care you don't have to say anything,"
Mike said 
curtly.
"Fine by me." She watched as Mike 
fumbled with the
gobo. "You do know how to use that 
thing 
right?"
"Of course he doesn't, we've never 
used one before and
it didn't come with 
instructions."
"How hard can it be?" Mike 
asked rhetorically. "You
just slap this thing in front of the 
beam and..." He tried to place the gobo in the gel 
holder
only to see it fall out. 
"Dammit!"
"Maybe it goes inside the 
light," Greg offered helpfully.
"Yeah, that's 
probably it." Mike and Greg quickly
set about opening up the 
light. "You 
have got to be kidding me," Mike cried out 
in frustration
when the gobo again did not fit. 
"Jane get me the tin snips. I'm going to ghetto 
rig this
bitch."
"Aye-aye boss," Jane 
said with a smirk. She walked
over to the other end of the catwalk. 
"Hey Ryan," she called 
out.
"Yeah?"
"Do you have 
the tin 
snips?"
"Yeah."
"Could 
you put them in the bucket, Mike needs them to
get those gobo things 
to work."
"Hang on, I'll bring them up myself. 
This I've got to
see," Ryan dropped his hammer and 
ran over 
to the ladder.
"Such personal service," Jane 
said wryly when Ryan
met her at the top of the 
ladder.
"What can I say, seeing Mike out of his 
depth is a rare
treat," he replied while handing Jane 
the 
snips.
"And me without my camera," Jane 
quipped. She frowned
when she thought about what 
she had just 
said.
Ryan noticed the shift in Jane's mood, but didn't 
bring it
up. "Come on, let's go enjoy the 
show." They 
walked over to where Greg and Mike were 
working.
"Finally, hand me those snips," Mike 
snapped. He
took the cutters from Jane and began 
trimming the 
piece of metal. Ryan leaned back against the railing
to 
watch.
"Hey Mike, how much do those things 
cost?" Ryan asked.
Mike sighed, "I don't know, 
why do you want to know?"
"I'm just curious 
how much money you're wasting cutting
that thing up, that's 
all."
"Oh go back to building the set, 
jackass. I'm working
my ass off trying to get this play off 
the 
ground, and you're not helping. Besides," he added with
a sly 
grin, "it's not my money 
I'm wasting, so who the hell 
cares."
Ryan laughed, "Excellent point,snip 
away."
Mike finished cutting and placed the 
modified gobo into the
light, this time it fit. "Ha, I'm 
still the champion. Greg, get this light rigged, I'll get 
the
other two gobos setup."
"I feel curiously 
unfulfilled," Jane commented.
"Me too, it's 
probably for the best thought. The more
boredom in this job the 
better."
"I 
guess."
"Hey, want to help me build 
flats?"
"Oh, can I really?" Jane said 
unenthusiastically.
"It's either that or keep 
helping Mike with the gobos."
"Where'd that 
hammer go?"
Jane and Ryan worked on building flats 
until Mike and Greg
came down from the catwalk. 
"Got the water spots done yet?" Ryan 
asked.
"Yeah, we're going to test them now," 
Mike answered.
"Cool, we'll come 
watch."
The group filed into the light booth where 
Dave was sitting
hunched over the soundboard, 
listening intently 
to a pair of studio monitors.
"Hey Dave," Ryan 
said, "What'cha doing?"
"Hmm?" Dave 
asked, "Oh, just listening to the
mix, I'm going to swap out the 
Schoeps 
sub-cards for the Mk4v cards, they're better suited for 
speech
pickup anyway."
"Right," Ryan said 
hesitantly, "I'll just pretend
that made sense and move 
on."
"Sorry, what I meant to say was that the 
mics I currently
have hanging from bar five 
displease me and I'm 
thinking about replacing them with a pair
whose characteristics are 
better suited to the conditions 
here."
"Still doesn't 
help."
Dave shrugged, "I tried, so what're you 
folks up to?"
"Mike and Greg finished the 
water spots so we're trying
them out."
Dave nodded, 
"Cool." He turned in his chair to look
out the 
window.
Mike readied himself in front of the light 
board. "Here
we go," he dimmed the house lights 
and 
brought up the new spotlights. "Oh hell." The front
of the 
stage was illuminated by 
three, murky indistinct puddles of 
blue, with no discernable pattern.
"Dude, that 
sucks," Dave commented.
"Tell me about 
it," Mike grumbled as he turned off
the spots and restored the 
house lights. 
"When O'Neill shows up for rehearsal 
today I guess we'll
have to tell him the gobos are a 
no-go."
"Hehehe, that rhymes, 
funny," Ryan chortled. 
"Do you appreciate the 
fact that we're screwed?"
Mike asked.
"I do, 
but you have to admit that was kind of 
funny."
"I agree with Ryan, that was pretty 
funny," Dave
added.
"Who asked you?" Mike 
snapped.
"Sheesh Mike, chill out a little," 
Greg said. "So
we have to yank the gobos out of those 
spots, big deal."
As Jane watched the debate 
unfold she thought she felt a familiar
tugging at the back of her 
mind. However, when she tried to focus on it, the sensation 
fled.
"Weird, for a moment I 
thought I saw a painting 
there." She shook her head, "Must
have been a bit of 
indigestion, 
or a headache, or 
something."
"Hi guys," O'Neill said from 
the foot of the stairs.
"How are things 
going?"
"We go the water spots up with the 
gobos installed, but
it doesn't look very good," Mike 
reported.
"Oh, let me 
see."
"All right," Mike said grudgingly 
and turned the
spots back on.
"Why that's 
wonderful. It just gives you the suggestion
of water, perfect!" 
He faced the 
crew, "Good job people, keep up the great 
work." He
walked out of the booth, leaving behind a stunned 
crew.
Mike banged his head on the board slowly. "This is 
not
happening," he kept repeating to 
himself.
"Did that actually just happen?" Jane 
asked.
"I think so," Greg 
replied
"So we're going to keep the ass ugly 
lights?" 
"Looks that way," Ryan 
said.
"Damn."
"Amen," 
Dave 
concurred.
-----------------------------------
&n bsp;
Later that afternoon Jane and Ryan were sitting in the 
theater
taking a break. Ryan was 
rubbing Jane's shoulders they 
were both half-watching the rehearsal
on stage. Quinn was 
working on a scene with two male cast 
members.
"And what, what, dammit, what's the 
line?" Quinn
shouted in frustration.
"It's 
'and what do we do after the drapes?' Quinn,"
O'Neill called 
out.
"Right, I knew 
that."
"Also, Quinn, one more time, it's not 
'Laregub,' the town
is pronounced, 'Yar-a-gub.' Say it 
with 
me..."
"Fine, fine, 'Yeargh-a-gub' is that 
better?" Quinn
said, deliberately over-pronouncing the 
name. "What, do you have a problem?" Quinn snapped 
when
one of the other cast 
members 
sighed.
"Yeah, I do. We've been at this for weeks 
and you can't
even remember the easiest 
lines."
"Hehehe, why don't we put this scene 
down for right now?
Let's move on to a Captain Cat 
scene."
Quinn stormed off the stage, her fists 
clenched and her face
turning a bright shade of red. 
"Oh, that jerk, how dare he..." she trailed 
off,
too mad to speak.
Ann looked on sympathetically, 
"Hey, Quinn right?"
Quinn looked over at Ann, 
"Yeah, who are you?"
"I'm Ann, I'll be 
helping you with your costumes and I'll
do your makeup before the 
shows."
"Oh, say aren't you that brainiac 
in all my classes?"
"I've always gotten A's if 
that's what you mean."
"Well you don't have to 
pick out my costumes. As Vice
President of the Fashion Club I 
don't need the help of some brain."
"But 
do you have period-appropriate clothes?" Ann
asked innocently, 
"It'd be a shame if 
you were out there in the latest from 
Cashman's while everyone
else was wearing period 
clothes."
"Why?"
"B 
ecause you'd look stupid that's 
why."
"Oh...well I guess you can help me out 
with the costumes,
but I get veto power over any 
outfit that's 
not cute enough."
"Sure, fine, whatever," 
Ann replied.
"Quinn, are you back here?" 
O'Neill asked.
"Yes Mr. O'Neill, I'm over 
here."
"Ah good. Quinn, I'm worried. I don't 
want to look like
I'm stifling your creative energies, 
but I 
also expect you to at least know your lines and be able
to pronounce 
the names 
correctly."
"I know," 
Quinn said sheepishly. "If you want
me to quit, I understand. 
I'm just not cut out 
for the theater I 
guess."
"No, no it's far too late for us to 
recast your parts.
I'm afraid we'll just have to work through 
your problems."
"But how? I've tried to 
memorize my lines, but it 
doesn't
help."
"Hmm," O'Neill mused, 
"Maybe you need a dedicated
acting 
coach."
"Is that like a 
tutor?"
"Yes, very much so. Now let's 
see," O'Neill scanned
the theater until he saw who he was 
looking for. "Ah, perfect. Oh Dave!" He called out 
to
the sound tech. Dave was hunched 
over a microphone set on a 
corner of the stage. He was wearing
a pair of headphones and 
appeared to be listening intently to something. "Uh, Dave?"
O' 
Neill asked again when he 
didn't get a 
response.
"I'll get him Mr. O'Neill," Jane 
called out. She
hopped up and walked up to where Dave 
was 
crouched. "Hey Dave!" Jane shouted into the mic,
causing 
Dave to jump up in shock.
"Hey, watch it, that's a 
valuable piece of equipment,"
Dave complained as he took the 
headphones off.
"Pay attention, you freak, 
O'Neill wants you."
"Heh, uh thank-you 
Jane," O'Neill said as Jane returned
to her seat. "What 
were you doing 
that was so engrossing, 
Dave?"
He shrugged, "I was making sure the 
side pickup mics were
set to the right polar 
patterns."
"So you were listening to a 
microphone and you didn't
hear me?"
"I was 
listening to the sounds, I wasn't paying attention
to them. What do 
you need?"
"I was wondering if you'd like to 
help Quinn out with
her lines."
Dave frowned, 
"Why me, I don't know anything about 
acting."
"You're good with sound, I'm sure you 
can think of something.
Oh dear, that's not right, 
excuse 
me." O'Neill muttered to himself as he scurried off
to handle 
the next disaster.
Dave looked over at Quinn 
apologetically, "Hey, I'm sorry
Quinn, but I know jack about 
acting. I mean if you really want me to I can try to be of 
some
help, but I can't imagine why 
you 
would."
"Well, maybe you can help me with 
something else. You
do well in all your classes 
right?"
"Uh yeah, I get 
by."
"See my problem is that I don't have 
enough time to get
all my schoolwork done and 
memorize these 
lines. If I had somebody to help me with my homework
I'd have more 
time 
for the play."
"So you want me to do 
your homework for you so you can
focus on the 
play?"
"No just tutor me, you don't have to do 
my work, just
help me with it, like last year with my 
history 
paper."
"If you care so much for the theater 
why don't you just
skip the school work. It's not like 
you have 
any great love for it after all. Something you proved
all to well 
last year."
Quinn stared at him for a long moment 
before realization hit,
"Oh right you weren't here 
over the 
summer."
"No I was following Phish, what does 
that matter?"
"Because I decided I want to do 
better at school, I got
a tutor and 
everything."
Dave shrugged, 
"So?"
"Doesn't that make a 
difference?"
Dave looked thoughtful for a moment. 
"No," he said
simply and walked 
away.
"Ooooo!" Quinn huffed, and stormed 
off.
"Quinn I..." Ann started to say, but 
stopped when
Quinn left the theater. She sighed and 
followed 
Quinn. "Quinn, wait up." Ann caught up with
Quinn in the 
hall. "Are you ok 
Quinn?"
"Yes," Quinn said 
tremulously.
"Are you 
crying?"
"No, Quinn replied, sniffling a 
little.
"Look Quinn, don't let those guys get to 
you. This is
your first play right?" Quinn nodded, 
"Some of those people have been acting for years. 
I'm
sure they were worse when they 
started."
"Fat lot of good that does me 
now."
"True, do you really want someone to 
help you out with
your lines?"
Quinn nodded, "Yeah I 
do."
"I guess I could give you a hand when I'm 
not too busy."
"How could you help 
me?"
"Do you know just how many plays I've 
seen? Don't worry
I can be a lot of help to 
you."
"That's great, but, uhm, why are you, 
like, being so nice
to me?"
"Mostly because I 
don't want to see all the work I've
put into this play go down the 
tubes, 
but also because you remind me of 
myself."
"I do? How?" Quinn asked, 
slightly panicked.
"You see the reason I'm here is 
because it will look good
on my college applications. That's 
what you're doing right?"
"Actually I'm 
here for the extra credit, I never thought
about college 
applications."
Ann shrugged, "It's the same thing 
really, and if I can make
a fellow grade obsessed person 
feel a 
little less stress then great." She paused, "Also,
I could 
use your advice on 
something."
"My 
advice? But you're like the big brain."
"Mike 
and I are going to be celebrating our 
anniversary
soon."
"Really? How 
long?"
"Oh, a 
year."
"Wow, I could never do that, why limit 
yourself?"
Ann looked momentarily confused, 
"Because we care about
each other."
"But 
he always takes you out to the nicest places 
right?"
"Uh no, most days we just hang 
out."
"I just don't get that, what's the point 
of going out
with someone if you don't get anything 
out of 
it?"
"You've never really cared about anyone 
have you?"
Quinn frowned, "That's not true, 
there is one guy I care
about."
"Then why 
aren't you going out with him?"
"...Because he 
doesn't feel the same way," Quinn
said with great reluctance. 
"Amazing, a boy resistant to the charms of the 
Mighty
Quinn Morgendorffer, who is he?"
"He 
doesn't go to school here. Look can we not talk about
it? It's 
embarrassing enough as 
it is."
"Ok, we 
don't have to talk about it, but it's not a sign
of weakness to have 
feelings for a 
person."
Quinn sighed, 
"It's not that...what did you want advice
about 
anyway?"
"Uh, what should I 
wear?"
Quinn's face brightened, "Now that's 
something I'd be
happy to talk about."
"Great, 
Mike and I don't normally get all dressed up for
a date, but I want 
this one to be 
special and I know you're better than I am at 
choosing an outfit."
"Too true," Quinn 
said condescendingly. "Err,
I mean, uh," she tried to catch 
her error.
Ann laughed, "That's ok, you've got a better 
sense for clothes.
I can accept that. I'm the 
better trumpet 
player I'd wager. It's all just a matter of time
management. Long ago 
I 
decided I was going get a four point GPA and be the best 
trumpet
player in the state. If I'm 
not up to date on the latest 
fashions so be it. Unlike you my
parents aren't 
rich."
"Huh?"
"You 
don't have to worry about college tuition, your parents
will just 
foot the bill, all you 
have to do is scrape by academically and 
you're set."
"That's not entirely..." 
Quinn began to say.
"Meanwhile I've got to work my 
butt off to make sure I'm
valedictorian so I get that 
scholarship money. I've got to practice trumpet an hour a day
so 
I can get a trumpet 
scholarship. I do volunteer work in hope of 
getting scholarship
money from them, not to 
mention how well 
that looks on a college resume. If I'm lucky
by the time I graduate I 
should hopefully have enough money between the scholarship 
and
my job so that I'm only 
in debt for half my adult life 
instead of the whole of it."
"Uh, 
breathe?" Quinn offered.
"Sorry, I just get a 
little stressed when I think 
about
it."
"Obviously, so uh, how do you want 
to work this?"
"Why don't we go to my house 
after rehearsal, we can get
started on your lines and you can 
pick apart my wardrobe."
"Sounds good to 
me."
"Great, I'll see you then ," Ann 
walked back into
the theater, leaving Quinn to think about 
their 
interchange.
-------------------------------------------- 
--
Jane was building a piece of the set when Ryan called 
out to
her. "Hey Jane, could you 
grab the other end of this 
thing?" Jane looked over at Ryan
and saw him holding one end 
of a bulky flat.
"Sure thing, where are we 
taking it?"
"Outside to be 
painted."
Jane paused, "You sure you don't 
want someone else to
help you?"
"Oh come on 
Jane, it's just slapping paint on wood, what's
the big 
deal?"
"It's still painting, and I don't do 
painting."
"You're just being silly. Look, 
it's either help me paint
these flats, or help Mike focus spots, 
which would you rather do?"
Jane sighed, 
"If you put it that way hand me a brush."
Focusing 
spotlights involved Jane 
staring directly at a spot, trying to 
decided when a circle became
visible. It was not how 
Jane liked 
to spend time.
"I knew you'd see things my 
way," Ryan said with
a grin as he held out a 
brush.
"What can I say, I like to see," Jane 
quipped, taking
the brush from Ryan.
"I'll be over 
there if the paint tries to attack you or
anything," Ryan said 
cheerfully, walking 
to another set piece waiting to be 
painted.
Jane stared at the gallon of paint sitting on 
the ground. "Ahh,
Weatherbeater semi-gloss, 
my old 
nemesis." She opened the can and slowly stirred the
paint. 
"It's not big deal Jane," 
she told herself. 
"There's no underlying artistic statement
to be made here, 
you're just 
slapping paint on wood." She dipped the brush 
into the paint.
"No shapes, no patterns, 
definitely no 
pictures. Just a solid block of color, any monkey
can do that. It's 
not art, it's 
house painting." She watched the paint run 
off the brush
back into the can. "Slapping paint 
on wood, 
paint on wood," She repeated to herself as she took
her first 
stroke. "There, that 
wasn't so hard now was it? Just do 
another of those." She
ran the brush over the flat again. 
"What was my problem anyway?" She said aloud 
as she
dipped the brush back in the can.
Jane kept spreading 
paint onto the flat for a while then stopped
and surveyed her work. 
She 
frowned, "Hmmm, something's not right here," She 
walked
over to the pile of paint 
supplies and grabbed a few more 
cans of paint. She dropped the
paint next to the flat and 
returned for some paint thinner and an assortment of 
brushes.
"Now let's see here," she thought. 
"It just
needs a smidgen of red there..." She quickly 
became consumed in what she was doing and lost track of 
time.
"Hey Jane, how's it going?" Ryan called 
out. "I
haven't heard, well anything from over here 
so I 
was beginning to get worried...Whoa," Ryan finished
when he saw 
Jane's progress.
"What?" Jane asked, 
distracted.
"That's some job of flat 
painting," Ryan said bemused.
"We can't use it for the play 
of 
course, but still, it's most 
impressive."
"What are you talking 
about?" Jane took a step back
and for the first time looked at 
what 
she had done. The flat was covered in a kaleidoscopic array 
of
colors and patterns, all 
intricately woven together in such a 
way that they suggested a
cohesive whole without 
actually 
displaying one. Jane looked at the flat, then at her
paint stained 
hands in 
amazement.
"Let me guess," Ryan 
said jokingly, "it's a
sailboat, no wait, a 
schooner."
"But, how...that's...good!" 
Jane spluttered.
"You don't say. Hey, I thought you 
had given up painting,
that you had lost the ability to 
since 
you couldn't remember why you wanted to be an 
artist."
"Yeah, I 
did."
"That looks a hell of a lot like art to 
me."
"Yeah, it does," Jane paused. 
"Pencil and paper,
quick!" She snapped. Ryan ran over to 
his 
backpack and retrieved the desired items. He handed them to 
Jane
who immediately started 
to sketch.
"How's 
this look?" She asked as she showed Ryan a
roughly sketched 
portrait of himself
"Wow, you really are 
good."
Jane looked at the sketch, a small smile 
played across her
face. "Yeah, I guess I 
am."
"Want to bag this and have a celebratory 
dinner?"
Ryan asked.
Jane nodded, "I'm down with 
that."
--------------------------------------------- 
----
Daria was reading in her room when the phone rang. 
She picked
it up, "Hello Morgendorffer Sanitarium, cut-rate 
psychiatric
care since 1975."
"Hey Daria, Dave 
Wylie, nice side business you've got
going 
there."
"Hello Dave, what do you 
need?"
Dave chuckled, "It's always right to 
the point with you
isn't it? No chit-chat or 
pleasantries."
"The less I know about your 
affairs the less chance I'll
be 
subpoenaed."
"I sense someone's making an 
editorial comment on my choice
of 
lifestyle."
"I can't say anything else, the 
phone lines aren't safe."
"Ok, I can take a 
hint, no chit-chat. So to get down to
business, I've got a question 
for you."
"Which 
is?"
"Your sister, at rehearsal today she 
asked me if I would
help her out with her school 
work."
Daria raised an eyebrow, "And you 
said?"
"What do you think I said? No, she'd 
try to figure out
a way to get me to do the work for 
her."
"Um, that's not necessarily 
true..." Daria said hesitantly.
"So she wasn't 
lying?"
"About 
what?"
"About wanting to do better at school, 
or her getting
a tutor over the summer."
"She 
wasn't lying. For whatever reason she's had a minor
attitude 
shift."
"And the 
tutor?"
"Yeah, there was a tutor 
involved..." Daria trailed
off.
"Well damn, 
and to think I missed all of that just to
follow Phish around for the 
summer."
"You don't even know the half of 
it," Daria 
muttered.
"Oh?"
"It's not 
really my story to tell, but what the hell,
it'll answer your 
question," Daria then told 
Dave about Quinn's relationship 
with her tutor, David.
"The guy's name was David, 
seriously?"
"Yes."
"And 
she had the hots for 
him?"
"Apparently."
"Isn 
't that a funny coincidence."
"Don't read too 
much into it."
"Why 
not?"
"For one thing you're not in 
college."
"I should 
be."
"For another she knows 
you."
"Ouch, that was 
cold."
"I just call them like I see 
them."
"Even if we concede that, why'd she ask 
for my help?"
"Because you've helped her in 
the past maybe?"
"Mmm, true. So basically I 
was a major ass today."
"Pretty 
much."
"Great, I guess I'll apologize to her 
tomorrow."
"Are you going to tutor 
her?"
"If she asks again I don't see why I 
can't lend a hand
as my schedule 
permits."
"You, uh, won't bring up the other 
thing right?"
"That whole crush on the tutor 
thing? Not directly for
sure, although the mischief 
potential is 
too high to pass up."
"And you're not reading 
anything into this?"
"No I'm not reading 
anything into the fact that by some
weird fluke Quinn had a thing for 
a tutor with the my name."
"Good, just 
one more thing."
"And that 
is?"
"We never had this 
conversation."
"Gotcha, is this anything like 
the conversation I never
had with Jane about your summer? 
And 
how is Tom by the way?"
Daria stiffened, then 
sighed, "Everything she told you
was 
true."
Dave chuckled, "Now that much I really 
doubt."
"Why, what did she 
say?"
"How should I know, we never had a 
conversation about
it."
"You're a bastard, you 
know that right?"
"So I'm told. Hey, thanks 
for the info Daria."
"Good to hear I'm of some 
use to somebody."
"Talk to you 
whenever."
"I can't 
wait."
"Bye 
Daria."
"Bye Dave," Daria hung up the 
phone and reflected
on the conversation. "Why on earth 
did 
Quinn have to ask him for help?" She wondered. Daria
shrugged, 
filed it away in her 
list of oddities and returned to her book. 
Shortly thereafter
the phone rang again. Daria 
sighed and 
answered it. "If this isn't Tom Sloane I'm 
hanging
up."
"I used to date him, does that 
count?" Jane said
sardonically.
"Oh hi Jane, I 
wasn't expecting to hear from you. To what
do I owe this unexpected 
pleasure?"
"You have to come over to my 
house right now. No, wait,
go get Tom and then come 
over 
here."
"But...why?"
"No 
questions Morgendorffer, just do it!" Jane shouted
into the 
phone then hung up. 
She looked at the phone for a moment then 
smiled. "That should
get her over here." Jane 
picked 
up her brush and went back to work on the painting on 
her
easel.
"Hey Janey, I thought I heard 
shouting...whoa, what are
you doing?" Trent asked as he 
stuck his head in the room.
"I'm painting, 
what does it look like?"
"You got the fire 
back 
huh?"
"Yup."
"Cool, 
congratulations Janey," he said before 
walking
away.
Jane chuckled to herself and turned back 
to her painting. As
she worked on the piece her 
thoughts drifted 
back to the conversation she had with Ryan earlier
that 
evening.
-------------------------------------------
 
"I'm really happy for you Jane," Ryan said 
between
mouthfuls of pizza.
"I'm happier than you 
are I bet," Jane said impishly.
"Yea 
probably," Ryan said, chuckling. "It must
feel good. To 
know you've got your 
identity back."
"It 
does I guess, thought I hope I was still me when I
wasn't 
painting."
"I guess we'll have to find out, 
but tell me, would you
have joined the play if not for your little 
crises?"
Jane shook her head, "No, probably 
not."
Ryan raised his glass, "Then here's to 
creative funks
and their demise."
They clicked 
their glasses together, "Hear hear. I must
admit I do feel kind 
of silly about 
the whole thing 
though."
"How so?"
"I 
really jumped to conclusions, I have one little uncreative
spell and 
suddenly I'm not 
longer an artist? What was I 
thinking?"
Ryan shrugged, "I don't know, you 
tell me."
"If I had it figured out I wouldn't 
be asking you now
would I?"
"I just build 
sets, don't look at me for answers."
"Then 
what the hell are you good for?" Jane said
with a 
smirk.
"Other stuff," Ryan 
replied.
"Really, and just what is that other 
stuff?"
"You know what you have to say to find 
out."
"Dammit Ryan, how many times do I have 
to tell you?"
"Sorry, sorry I know, just 
making a joke that's all."
Jane sighed, "No 
don't apologize I shouldn't have blown
up at you like that. It's just 
I 
really jumped into my last 
relationship..."
"And it bit you in the ass, 
yeah you've said."
"I suppose I 
have."
"Here's my question for you. Now that 
you've got the art
thing back are you going to 
stay on with the 
play?"
"I...don't know. Let me think about it 
a little."
"Sure take your time, just remember 
you did make a commitment
to the 
theater."
"And you don't want me to 
quit," Jane added drolly.
"There's that 
too."
"Don't worry I'll give it a lot of 
thought. At the bare
minimum I'll paint a killer drop for 
the 
cyc."
"Great, I'm sure it will be 
awesome."
------------------------------------------ 
----
Jane's reverie was interrupted by a knock upon the 
door. "Hey
Trent," she shouted, "can 
you go get 
that, I'm expecting Daria and Tom so if it's them send
them up." 
She didn't 
hear an acknowledgement from Trent. 
"Trent?" She called
out again.
"Don't 
bother," Daria said, "we let 
ourselves
in."
"Yeah, we figured you'd be home 
since you called us over
here. So what's the big 
emergency?" Tom asked as he followed Daria into the 
room.
"It's not so much an emergency as it's an 
announcement,"
Jane said smugly. She turned 
the easel 
around to show Daria and Tom the painting, a realistic
portrayal of a 
spot falling 
on Mr. O'Neill. "I'm back," she said 
simply.
"Jane, that's great news," Tom said 
effusively.
"So, what was the grand reason for 
being an artist?"
Daria asked.
Jane shrugged, 
"I picked up a brush today and it clicked.
I guess I'm an artist 
because, and 
that's 
that."
"Because?" Tom 
asked.
"Because."
Daria shrugged, 
"Makes about as much sense as the rest
of this hair-brained 
adventure of 
yours."
Jane sat down on her bed, 
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry about
all of this, I really overreacted 
didn't I?"
"Hey, don't be so hard on 
yourself," Tom said encouragingly.
"You had a rocky summer, 
there was bound to be some spillover."
"I 
suppose so."
Daria sighed, "Tom's right, and 
joining the theater was
the best thing you could have 
done."
"How's 
that?"
"Well, with the change of scenery you 
broke out of your
old routine which had too many 
negative 
memories for you, or some sort of psychobabble explanation
like 
that."
"What's it matter so long as I'm back 
to my usual self
huh?"
"You're the one who's 
spent the past month insisting you
were 
fine."
"I did, didn't I?" Jane shrugged, 
"Whatever,
we can put all that unpleasantness behind us 
now."
"And act like nothing 
happened?" Daria asked wryly.
"Exactly and 
never mention any of this..." Jane trailed
off. "I guess 
that's not going to 
happen anytime soon is 
it?"
"I'm not going to let you forget that you 
volunteered
to work on a school play if that's 
what you 
mean."
"I would have been worried if you 
weren't going to give
me a hard time over 
that."
"That reminds me, are you quitting the 
theater now?"
Jane frowned, "Now why would I 
do that?"
"The subject of your current work 
for one," Tom quipped.
"Who asked you Sloane? 
This is a satirical look at the
way a theater tech thinks of the 
director."
"Sure, fine, whatever you say 
Jane," Tom replied
lightly.
"More to the point 
it's not what the 'Old Jane' would
do," Daria 
said.
"Maybe this is the introduction of the Jane 
Lane Mark
Three. Supremely confident in 
her art and more willing 
to try out alternative expressions of
art, even if they're school 
related."
"In other words you don't want 
to wreck things with this
Ryan guy."
"Well 
yeah there's that too. It's funny, he asked me the
exact same 
question."
"When ?"
"At 
dinner, when we were celebrating my triumph."
Daria 
frowned, "Just when did you have this 
breakthrough?"
"At rehearsal today. I had to 
paint some flats and it
all just went from 
there."
"So you rediscovered your artistic 
side when left with
no other choice?"
"That 
sums it up, why?"
"I'm trying to get an 
accurate picture of this miraculous
resurrection that's 
all."
"Ok," Jane said unconvinced, 
"you're not mad
at me that Ryan was the first person I 
talked to about this are you?"
"No he was 
right there, it makes perfect sense. Besides
why should I be mad 
about that?"
"I don't know, it just seemed 
like you were."
"It's my latent hostility 
towards the world shining through."
"Ah that's 
it."
"Jane, I'm really glad to hear you've 
retrieved your artistic
ambition, and honestly if you 
want to 
keep working on the play that's your call. I'll back you
either 
way."
"And besides, if I stay on with the play 
that will give
you more time with Tom right?" 
Jane asked 
with a smirk, Daria started to blush.
"Hey that's 
right, stay with the play Jane," Tom
said eagerly. 
Daria hit Tom in the stomach. "Don't listen to the 
horny
teen, his opinions are irrelevant 
to the matter at 
hand."
"He's irrelevant huh? Do I sense 
trouble in paradise?"
Jane asked coyly.
"No, 
she just hates to admit she likes spending time with
me," Tom 
said lightly.
Daria's blush deepened, "That's not 
true I...er...that
is...there are worse things to 
do."
Tom leaned over and kissed Daria, "Good, 
I like being
around you too." Daria looked 
mortified.
Jane laughed, "You know, I'm glad 
the two of you are going
out. This is so 
amusing."
Daria frowned, "I'm glad we've found 
a purpose in life."
"You're just so much fun 
to tease Daria, I never miss
a chance."
"Do me 
a favor Jane, next time, just let it go."
"Or 
you could fight back, I know some very interesting
facts about your 
friend Ms. Lane 
and I'm sure they can be coaxed out of me for 
the right price,"
Tom said casually.
"Tom, 
don't," Jane threatened.
"Ten," Daria 
offered.
"Take off your shirt," Tom 
countered.
"Now wait a second here," Jane 
said.
"Twenty."
"We drive 
off somewhere secluded."
"Don't I have a say 
in..."
"Thirty."
"Evenin 
g at your house."
"Guys, this is 
silly..."
"Forty."
"Kiss 
me, right 
here."
"Ok."
"Evening 
at my...ok?"
"Wow, look at the time what a 
shame, I'm sure both your
folks are worried sick. It was 
nice of 
you to come over though," Jane started to push the
couple 
towards the door.
"That's what I said, ok. I kiss, 
you tell." With
that Daria grabbed Tom and kissed him 
fiercely.
"When Jane was in the third grade 
she had a gerbil named
Mr. Gerbilator and she still 
visits his 
grave in the backyard," Tom blurted out when they
broke for 
air.
"Tom you're a slut!" Jane shouted. 
"I told you
that in confidence."
"But she 
used wiles," Tom protested.
"You had better 
find some dirt on her and give it to me,
or there will be hell to 
pay," Jane 
threatened.
"And you had 
better the hell not do that or there'll be
hell to pay," Daria 
said.
Tom looked between the two teens nervously, 
"Uhm, I'm
going to be in the car, bye 
Jane, congratulations 
and all," Tom backed out of the room
and dashed down the 
hall.
The two friends looked at each other and smirked. 
"That
wasn't nice," Daria said 
drolly.
"He had it 
coming."
"So, what are you going to 
do?"
Jane shrugged, "I don't know, I'll 
probably keep working.
They do need a painter after 
all."
Daria nodded, "Sounds like you Jane. I'd 
better go, my
ride's probably quaking in the car 
by 
now."
"Bye Daria, don't make out in my 
driveway."
Daria stopped in the doorway and looked 
over her shoulder.
"Say hi to Ryan for me." 
Daria walked out of sight and out of the 
house.
"Damn, she's getting good at that," 
Jane told no
one in particular. She put a fresh canvas on 
her 
easel and began a new 
painting.
----------------------------------------------- 
--
The next day Dave caught up with Quinn outside the 
theater.
"Hey Quinn, can we talk?"
"Why 
should I?"
"Because I'm here to 
apologize."
"Oh well ok, but make it quick I 
don't want to be seen
talking to a geek like 
you."
"Fine, if you don't want to be seen 
talking to me we don't
have to talk. I won't lose sleep 
over 
it," Dave turned to leave.
"No wait, I didn't 
mean that. Say what you wanted to say."
"That 
reminds me, how have you explained your thespian
activities to your 
friends?"
"Thespian? Ewww, I'm not a thespian, 
I like boys."
"Quinn, thespian, not lesbian, 
thespian."
Quinn's face colored, "Oh, heh, 
right, thespian, an actor,
I knew 
that."
"Well, how have you explained it to 
your friends?"
"They, uh, don't really 
know."
"How'd you manage 
that?"
"I told them Mr. O'Neill forced me into 
working on an
after school project. I just didn't 
elaborate on 
what the project was. That and rehearsals haven't
conflicted with any 
Fashion 
Club meetings."
"You know the two 
are going to collide at some point."
"I'll 
deal with it when it happens," Quinn said 
phlegmatically.
"Ok," Dave 
replied.
"Didn't you say something about an 
apology?" Quinn
demanded.
"Yeah...uh...well, I 
did some asking around and I guess
I was wrong about 
you."
"How so?" Quinn asked 
innocently.
"My sources tell me you have made a 
stronger commitment
to academics and it was wrong 
of me to blow 
you off like that. And for that I'm 
sorry."
"We can't all be perfect," Quinn 
said condescendingly.
"Nor can we all have as 
interesting a summer as some of
us have had," Dave said 
wryly.
"What's that supposed to 
mean?"
"Oh nothing, just that some people met 
more interesting
individuals than I did."
"Uh 
no, I didn't," Quinn frowned, not following Dave
at 
all.
"That's funny, my sources tell me 
otherwise."
"Dammit, you're not making a damn 
bit of sense, what the
hell did your 'sources' tell 
you?"
"That you had a torrid affair with a 
person who has a
suspiciously familiar 
name."
"We did not have an affair!" Quinn 
shouted. "Who
told you that?"
"Nobody, it 
just seemed like a good way to fish for 
information."
Quinn sighed, "What have you 
really heard?"
"Just that you had a tutor over 
the summer who's name
was David."
"And nothing 
else?"
"Not really, although could you explain 
to me why people
think we're about to date? Ever 
since school 
started up this year I've had folks walk up to me
ask as me how 
you're doing."
"What do you tell 
them?"
"I say I couldn't tell em, but I feel 
fine thanks for
asking," Dave said with a 
smirk.
"Heh, uh, well, you see David...that 
is...we..."
"You went out with 
him?"
"No!" Quinn said 
sharply.
"But he asked?"
"I 
did..."
"You did? You had a thing for your 
tutor?"
"So, what's the problem with that? 
Yes, I liked my tutor,
big deal."
"Strange you 
asked a guy with the same name to tutor 
you
now."
"No it's not, you helped me out in 
the past."
Dave nodded, "That I 
did."
"And it was nothing more that a big 
coincidence that my
tutor from the summer also is 
named David. 
Besides, the two of you are like, completely 
different."
"Oh 
really."
"Yeah, he's like, not afraid to wear 
his glasses, unlike
you and your contacts. He's nice, 
smart, 
dresses...well neatly at least. You're none of those things,
well 
except for the smart 
part."
"If you 
insist."
"I do, now can we please not talk 
about David, I'd rather
not think about it."
Dave 
sighed, "Ok, I'm sorry I brought it up. I can see
it's something 
you're sensitive about, 
and I haven't exactly behaved in a 
mature manner..."
"You talked to Daria about 
it didn't you?"
"Uhm, I can't 
say."
"You knew the real story the whole 
time."
"Er, the possibility 
exists."
"You asshole, why on earth would you 
lie like that?"
Dave shrugged, "It seemed like 
the best way to see if
Daria was telling the truth. Though in 
hindsight that probably wasn't the swiftest move I've ever 
made."
"It certainly 
wasn't."
"But come on, look at it from my 
perspective. You fall
for your tutor, whose name is David? What are 
the odds?"
"I didn't plan on it happening, 
besides David doesn't
care about me so what's it 
matter?"
Dave frowned, "Er, ok, while I 
sympathize with your problem
I don't see what it has to do 
with 
my apology."
"Huh?" Quinn asked, 
"Well, I thought...Uhm,
why don't we just drop 
this?"
"Now that's a good 
idea."
"Ok, apology 
accepted."
"Excellent, also as a way of making 
amends I'd like to
offer my assistance with your schoolwork, if 
you're still interested.
Strictly on an as my schedule permits basis 
of course."
" I'm sure I could use a little 
help every now and then."
"Ok, just let me 
know when you need some help and I'll
see what I can 
do."
"I'll do that," Quinn looked at a 
clock mounted on
the wall. "Well, I'm late for class, I'd better 
get going,"
Quinn started to walk away. "Bye Dave," 
She said over
her shoulder.
"Bye Quinn," Dave 
watched Quinn depart before opening
the door to the auditorium and 
entering the 
theater.
--------------------------------------------
 
Later that day, after school, Daria and Jane were walking 
through
the school. "So, reach a 
decision yet?" Daria 
asked.
Jane nodded, "Yeah, I 
have."
"Well?"
"I'll 
stick it out with the theater, I figure I owe it
to 
them."
"Plus you talked to Mr. O'Neill and 
learned the extra
credit was contingent on you taking 
part in 
the whole production."
"There's that 
too," Jane admitted. "But even
if that wasn't the case I'd 
have stuck around. I 
mean I get to impart my artistic vision 
onto something everyone
will 
see."
"Everyone?"
"Ok, 
the parents of the people in the play. That still
counts for 
something."
"So long as you don't place an 
amount on that value I
agree."
"Spoilsport, 
whatever it is Tom sees in you I just fail
to see 
it."
"I'll tell you when you're 
older."
Jane stopped suddenly, "Daria, veiled 
sexual innuendo,
from you. I don't believe it, you're 
growing up 
so fast," she sniffed back mock tears.
"I 
discovered it drives my parents batty, how could 
I
resist?"
Jane chuckled, "It all makes 
perfect sense now."
She resumed walking, "So have any hot 
dates on tap tonight?"
Daria shook her head, 
"Tom has to attend some fund raiser,
I avoided it by the skin of 
my 
teeth."
"Want to come hang out at my 
house when I'm done with
rehearsal?"
Daria 
shrugged, "Sure."
They stopped in front of the 
door to the theater. "You're
welcome to hang out here if you 
want," Jane offered.
"That sounds too 
much like participation to me, I think
I'll 
pass."
"You can watch Quinn make a fool of 
herself."
"Why didn't you say so in the first 
place."
"I was hoping you were enough of a 
friend that I didn't
have to use sibling humiliation as an 
inducement."
"You should know the answer 
to that by now. There are
certain things I'll only do if the 
humiliation of Quinn is involved."
"Oh 
yes, how silly of me."
They entered the theater. 
"So where can I sit?" Daria
deadpanned as she stood 
overlooking 
the empty auditorium.
"Pick a 
seat, any seat. Though I recommend one in the
back. Less chance of 
O'Neill seeing 
you and making you stage manager or 
something."
"Thanks for the tip," Daria 
said. "Isn't that
Ryan?" Daria pointed at a lone figure on 
the 
stage.
"Why so it is, make yourself 
comfortable, I have to talk
to him." Jane walked down to the 
stage, leaving Daria behind.
"Sure, I don't 
mind," Daria said to herself as she
took a seat and retrieved a 
book from her 
backpack.
Ryan looked up from the set piece he was fussing over and saw
Jane coming towards him. 
"Hey Jane, how you doing?"
"Oh you 
know what they say, time heals all." She
leaned against the set 
piece.
"Oh really, that's good to hear. Have you 
made up your
mind about staying with 
us?"
"Yeah I 
have."
"And?"
"You 
can't get rid of me that easily."
"You're 
staying?" Ryan asked, a grin on his face.
Jane 
shrugged, "Yeah, I guess so."
"Any 
particular reason why?"
"I felt like I owed 
you people my time, it seemed silly
to quit this far into the 
production..." 
she trailed 
off.
"And?"
"And what, 
that's it."
Ryan shook his head, "No, there's 
more, I can tell."
Jane sighed, "This will 
only serve to make your head more
bloated, but you were also a 
reason for me to stay."
"Oh I 
was."
"Yes, but a very small factor, tiny, 
infinitesimal."
She held her thumb and index finger close 
together to illustrate her point.
"Too late, 
the damage is done, I know you care about 
me."
"Well in that case in for a penny, in for 
a pound."
Jane grabbed Ryan and pulled him into a 
kiss.
"Wow," Ryan said when they came up 
for air. "So
I guess this would be a good time to ask 
you 
out?" He asked playfully as he hugged 
her.
"Yeah, could be," Jane laughed, 
"Just not tonight."
"You're 
kidding."
"No, Daria is coming over to my 
house and we're going
to hang out."
"Sure you 
can't ditch her?"
"Hell no, this is important 
to me. Ryan, I really like
you, but Daria's my best friend, right 
now she comes first. Although I will be free the rest of the 
week.
Besides, you've got me 
for the rest of 
rehearsal."
"That's an excellent point. Come 
on, there's something
in the Tiki Room I have to 
get."
"You sly dog. I like your style," 
Jane said appreciatively.
The two linked arms and walked 
up 
towards the booth. Jane waved to Daria as they walked 
past.
"Don't wait up for me."
Daria sighed, 
"Yes, I'd be delighted to meet your new
friend, hi I'm Daria 
Morgendorffer."
"Oh hell, Ryan meet Daria, 
Daria this is Ryan."
"Hi Daria, it's good to 
finally meet you. Jane's told
me a lot about you, most of it's 
good."
"Whatever she says is not true. Jane's 
a compulsive liar,
and a kleptomaniac, she's got very 
sticky 
fingers."
"Oh kind of like circus 
folk?"
"What?"
"You 
know, carnies, you can't trust 'em, they've got 
small
hands."
"Run that by me 
again."
"Don't bother," Jane cut in, 
"he thinks he's
Mike Myers, that's 
all."
"Hopefully not the knife-wielding 
variety."
"Hey, I do not think I'm Mike 
Myers."
"No, you just mimic his every 
mannerism."
"Ouch, that 
hurts."
"The truth hurts, and so do 
I."
"Promise?"
"Guys, 
I'm standing right here," Daria said 
testily.
"Oh sorry, I forgot. See Daria here hates 
it whenever
people act human around her," Jane 
told Ryan 
lightly. "Unless of course she's around Tom, then
all bets are 
off."
"You're going to pay for that one 
Jane."
"Just try, I've got a big strong man 
here to hide behind,"
Jane said 
jokingly.
"Yeah, you've got to get through me to 
get to her,"
Ryan said threateningly.
"So I 
have to kill you too, makes no difference to me,"
Daria said in 
an offhand manner.
"I'll defend the fair Jane down 
to my last breath."
"You're just saying that 
because Jane's standing right
next to 
you."
"Of course he's saying that because I'm 
here, but it's
still endearing," Jane said before 
kissing 
Ryan.
"That reminds me, weren't we going 
somewhere?" Ryan
asked.
"That we were, bye 
Daria. See you after the rehearsal?"
Daria looked 
thoughtful for a moment. "Give me a call
when you get 
home."
"You're not 
staying?"
Daria shook her head, "I don't think 
so."
"Not even to see 
Quinn?"
"No, it's tempting, but I don't think 
I can take the mental
abuse right now."
"Ok, 
if you insist, but it's your loss."
"So you 
say."
"Look, if you really want me to I'll 
stick around, but
watching a high school play's rehearsal 
is not 
my idea of a fun time."
"Then why'd you agree 
to come in here in the first place?"
"Cosmic 
rays?" Daria said lamely.
"Uh-huh, I think 
you're just uncomfortable because you
think that Ryan and I are going 
to 
make out somewhere in the 
theater."
"Aren't we?" Ryan asked. Jane 
elbowed him to keep
him quiet.
"That would be 
pretty childish of me if it was true."
"Yes, 
it would."
"Of course it's not so I'll be 
going..."
"Prove 
it."
"What?"
"Prove it, 
if it really doesn't bother you then sit 
through
rehearsal."
"And I can't decline 
because it's going to suck?"
"You were more 
than happy to be here before you saw Ryan
and I 
together."
"I..." Daria started to 
protest before realizing
she was stuck. "Ok fine, I'll sit 
through your 
damn rehearsal. But I'd like to go on record and 
say that this
is the modern equivalent of 
trial by water, no 
matter the outcome I'm screwed."
"You're not 
screwed, Tom's not around. Unless you've got
some sort of secret life 
nobody 
knows about."
"You will rue that 
remark Jane, mark my words."
"Blah, blah, less 
talk, more sit," Jane replied cheerfully.
"See you after 
rehearsal." Jane 
took Ryan's hand and they walked 
off.
"That was pretty nasty of you," Ryan 
commented.
Jane shrugged, "Maybe, but it was fun to 
push Daria's
buttons like that. Trust me, she 
wanted me to do 
that."
"You've got a weird ass friend 
there."
"Less talk, more 
smooch."
Daria leaned back in her chair and tried 
to focus on her book
as the rehearsal went on 
around her. 
"Why are you still here?" She asked herself.
"What 
does it matter if Jane 
thinks I can't handle the thought of her 
making out with Ryan.
Come to think of it, why 
should that 
bother me? It doesn't, so why am I here?" Daria
stood to 
leave.
"Oh Quinn," O'Neill called out, 
"Are you ready
to try that Mrs. Ogmore-Pritchard scene 
again?"
"Ah yes, that would be the 
reason," Daria thought
as she sat back down in her 
seat.
Quinn walked onto the stage with two other cast members. 
From
the looks on their faces 
Daria could tell they expected 
this to take a while.
"Ok, let's take it from the 
top, and go."
"Ok, Mr. Ogmore, Mr. Pritchard, 
what do we do first to
get ready to go to bed?" Quinn 
said 
confidently.
Daria watched on as Quinn proceeded to 
recite the scene with
a high degree of accuracy, 
and in the 
properly imperious tone.
"Quinn, that was very 
good," O'Neill said when the
scene finished. "Did you and 
Dave 
work on your lines like I 
suggested?"
"No, Dave doesn't know anything 
about acting," Quinn
said bluntly. "But Ann was quite 
helpful." Quinn looked over at Ann who gave Quinn a 
thumbs
up.
"Well damn, that was 
anti-climactic," Daria thought
to herself as she stood up and 
walked 
out of the theater. "Now there's definitely no 
reason to
stick around."
"Ok people, lets move 
on to Organ Morgan's next appearance."
Daria heard O'Neill say 
as 
she shut the door to the theater behind 
her.
---------------------------------------------
"How long did you stick around?" Jane 
asked.
"Long enough to see Quinn not make an ass of 
herself."
"Who'd know she'd get competent help 
from a Lawndale student?"
"Come on, let's go 
up to my room." They started up
the stairs. "Nice hickey by 
the way."
Jane slapped a hand to her neck. 
"Heh, uh, you know how
it goes in the Tiki 
Room."
"No, I don't, nor do I want to 
know."
Jane chuckled, "Ask Tom when you're 
older, I'm sure he'd
love to show you."
"Who's 
to say he hasn't," Daria said 
cryptically.
"Daria, why didn'y you tell me...no 
what it's probably
better that I don't know, some images are 
just too weird."
"I agree, I propose we 
don't talk about this again...ever."
"I 
second."
"Motion 
passes."
"I love parliamentary 
procedure," Jane quipped. They
walked into Daria's room. 
"Think 
'Sick Sad World' is 
on?"
"There's always a 'Sick Sad World' on, 
just look out your
window." Daria turned on the 
television.
"Fish playing hockey? Grouper 
goalies next on Sick Sad
World."
"I think it's 
a law of nature or something," Jane
mused, "Like the 
MacGyver Principle."
"The MacGyver 
Principle?"
"It's very simple, at any given 
time there is a TV station
showing an episode of 
MacGyver."
"That's 
stupid."
"No, that's stupid," Jane 
pointed at the TV, "the
MacGyver Principle is 
asinine."
"True."
"Now 
can we watch the stupid TV?"
"Sure." They 
lapsed into silence until the next commercial
break. "Ok, let me 
see if I have 
this straight. You lost your faith in your 
artistic ability and
gave up 
art."
"Yes."
"So in a 
fit of depression you volunteered to work on
the school 
play."
"Correct."
"Where 
you met a guy you like."
"Oh 
yeah."
"Then you re-discovered your artistic 
side."
"With a 
vengeance."
"So now you're back to painting, 
you've got a new boyfriend,
but you're still attached to the 
play."
"Can't win em 
all."
"Did I forget 
anything?"
"No, that pretty well sums it 
up."
"Ok, so what's the 
moral?"
"The 
what?"
"The moral, lesson, nugget of wisdom. 
What can we learn
from your 
folly?"
"Daria," Jane asked, "Does 
everything have to
have a moral behind it?"
Daria 
thought for a moment, then shook her head. "I 
guess
not."
"Good because the show's back. Now 
shut up and let me
watch." Jane leaned back against 
Daria's 
bed and smiled.
Fin
The Song that Jane 
Likes
And in plays to write the wire in
I'll come back 
again
Torching time talking rhymes in
I'll come back 
again
Would you like to play
With the thought of a 
friend
In a distant passing stage
While you lie 
around
With your hands up and out
So resigned you will fall 
down
While you around here play
Wild on the warm and far 
away
While you around here play
The days keep scribbling 
themselves in tidy lines
Would you like to play
With a fool 
holding hands
With a one-eyed jack of spades
While on the 
deck they sing
All of the captain's cards are kings
Still he 
and the queen are lost at sea
I hope it isn't you or me
And 
I'll be back 'round again
Yes I'll walk in time with you old 
friend
And we'll find that place
That we had danced in so 
long ago
And in plays to write the wire in
I'll come back 
again
Torching time talking rhymes in
I'll come back 
again
With this resigned the letter I 
sign.
<Author's Errata>
Why, please 
tell us why? --Not much I feel like saying after this
one. Suffice to 
say I'm one of those people who felt that Jane
was in a much darker 
place in IIFY than the shows painted her.
Such that the dinky little 
"pick-me-up" speech Daria
gave her would not be enough to 
improve her mood. This is just
one possible outcome of that dark 
mood. Hope it jibes sufficiently
with the character we all know and 
love.
What's with all these people? --Is it a Daria 
fan-fic if the main
characters are secondary characters? Good 
question, yeah, there
are a lot of author-invented characters here. 
But they had to
be. The problem with writing a story that involves 
some aspect
of LHS that we haven't seen is that none of the cast are 
believable
participants with those activities. It would require quite 
a bit
of fast-and-loose with the characterizations to get them all 
into
the play. Thus the need for new characters. One of these 
days
I'll write a story that only involves the cast.
The 
story you are about to see...--The main reason I wrote this
one is 
because I had a bank of great anecdotes from my time as
a light tech 
in high school theater that I wanted to use in a
Daria story. 
Everything theater related pretty much actually happened,
especially 
"Leroy" and the gobo bit. In fact I left
out a couple bits 
for time considerations. Also, yes Mike, Greg,
Ann, and Ryan are all 
loosely based on fellow crew members. If
any of them for whatever 
reason read this and realize that they
are involved, uh, I'm sorry 
it's all in the spirit of good fun.
Why Quinn? --No real 
good reason for Quinn's involvement, I
did want to address that whole 
David versus Dave Wylie thing.
Obnoxious that I made a character who 
has some similarities to
the infamous tutor of IIFY, but you've got 
to make lemonade out
of those lemons and I realized that it made for 
the possibility
of some interesting interaction between Dave and 
Quinn. Now what
might happen if David shows up 
again?
Where's the play? --There's a very good reason 
the story ends
before the actual production. Namely, I used the play 
"Under
Milkwood" because it was the last play I've seen. I 
have
pretty much no recollection of any of the lines, and it was 
growing
increasingly difficult to write the story and not reference 
the
play. So I just left room for a sequel and ended in the middle
of 
the production. Plus it kind of fits with the "must there
be a 
moral?" theme at the end.
Special thanks to all the kind 
souls who offered to beta read
this behemoth, your input was most 
valuable. Thanks to everyone
who reads this humble work, I hope it 
amuses when it should, provides
points to ponder when it should, and 
generally makes your day
that much morepleasant.
-sam 
4/29/2001