Part 3 (Conclusion)

(Scene Sixteen: The Appleton mansion's gameroom, about two hours later)

Darren, having since changed in his summer clothing of a long blue short-sleeved shirt and long shorts, and Quinn, who wore her new "fashionable" pink tank-top and blue jeans she purchased from Reynaldo's, were playing pool. Darren gave his youngest sister a suspicious look as she carefully aimed her cuestick at the white ball, which was aimed in turn at the eight ball, which was aimed in turn at a corner pocket.

QUINN: Eight ball in the corner pocket. (Gently but firmly hits the white ball, which hits the eight ball, which rolls right into the corner pocket. Quinn grins, straightens up:) I win again, bro!

DARREN: (Moans, but maintains his suspicious look:) That's three games in a row! (Narrows eyes:) Are you sure you haven't played this game much, Quinn?

QUINN: (Giggles:) I told you, I played it just a little--(adds nonchalantly, smirks:) in a bar or two when I went on my dates, that is.

DARREN: (Wide-eyed:) You learned how to play in a bar? (Pauses:) "Where they drink beer and get drunk and rowdy" bar?

QUINN: (Rolls eyes:) Duh! Like, where else would somebody learn how to play pool on a date, Darren?

DARREN: (Droll look, tone:) Gosh, there's the neighborhood recreational center, a friend's house--

QUINN: (Shudders:) I wouldn't be caught dead in a rec center, it's not chic enough for me, and all of those sweaty bodies, ick. None of the other members of the Fashion Club have billiard tables in their houses, either. (Glances up, frowns, ponders:) I think it was Billy or Barry or Bobby who first showed me when we used our fake I.D.'s all those times, I can't remember exactly who...

DARREN: (Tries to process this information:) I knew you were, uh, "popular" with the boys, sis--

QUINN: (Smiles, interrupts:) --Thanks!

DARREN: (Uneasy look:) Uh, yeah, you're welcome, but I sort of thought Daria was kidding when she made that crack about you having an illegal I.D. that night when I went to that "Zen" place with her and Jane the first time. (Cocks an eyebrow:) Aren't you a little worried about, well--

QUINN: (Small frown, offended, lays her cue stick on the billiard table, comes around to him:) "Well", what, Darren? Getting drunk, or something, and maybe having a guy take advantage of me, and doing--(makes a face:) ewwwwwwwww! Daaaaarrrren!

DARREN: (Alarmed look, puts hand up after laying his cuestick beside Quinn's:) I'm sorry, Quinn, okay?! I'm sorry! (Quinn's look softens) Look, I've tried to tell myself over and over that you and Daria have had your own lives, and you're both old enough to take care of yourselves, but, still, well, uh, you two are my sisters, and I, ah--(pauses, looks away for an instant, lower tone:) care a great deal about you two.

QUINN: (Clearly touched, blushes, giggles:) Oh--hh, Darren--

DARREN: (Goes on quietly:) I know Curtis worries about Juanita and Laflita, and he'd lay out anybody who'd do anything bad to them, though they're as tough as you two. I guess I'm sort of taking a cue from how he cares for his sisters. I'm still kind of new at this sort of thing, you know--? (Quickly adds, brief frown of concern:) Ah, don't tell his sisters I said that, alright? (Pauses:) Curtis would never forgive me, if he doesn't kill me first, that is.

QUINN: (Small smile, soft tone, almost a whisper, pats his arm:) I won't tell them, I promise. (Resumes normal voice, grins:) I really don't drink much, Darren, since I'd be kinda worried about what the guy would do if I were drunk or tipsy. (Suddenly realizes, looks panicked, gasps:) You're--you're not gonna tell mom or dad, are you? I haven't been in a bar since I first met you, you know, and I don't really go into them that much!

DARREN: (Chuckles:) Calm down, sis. You promised not to say anything to the Watley sisters, and I won't say anything to our genetically-shared parents, (pauses, cocks eyebrow:) just as long as you promise to keep being on your guard, that is.

QUINN: (Giggles:) I promise, though, like, I don't think I'll be going to any bar for a while, (adds, shrugs:) you know, since I'm getting more serious about my schoolwork, and stuff. I'm staying at home more, and, (looks uncomfortable:) um, dating less.

DARREN: (Thought v.o., doubtful: Is that so? One guess as to why.:) I'll be lying if I told you that I wasn't happy that you're going out less, Quinn. (Pauses, adds casually:) So, uh, I was surprised that you'd want to stay in the mansion to spend some time with me, sis, especially here in the gameroom, a place you avoided like the plague the last time you were here. I figured you'd want to go out somewhere, maybe even to New York City. (Adds, grins:) I'm sure you'd turn the place out if some guys saw you, and I'd have to hold them back while beating them up. We'd be lucky not to start a riot, like that time at that Chez Pierre place, remember?

QUINN: (Chuckles in her familiar way:) Oh, Darren! Sto--op it! I don't mind relaxing here for one day. I'm just all shopped out from last night, and David suggested that I, uh, we in the Fashion Club should spend a little more time away from "distractions" like only fashion, and more time with our schoolwork. (Quickly adds:) Moderation, and all that, you know--

DARREN: (Firmly nods, thought v.o.: Now we're getting somewhere.:) Of course. (Adds, serious expression:) And "David" told you this.

QUINN: (Not noticing Darren's look, checks out her hands:) Uh-huh. (Pauses, concerned look:) Um, I hope the wood on those cuesticks doesn't like, cause splinters, or anything--

DARREN: (Still with his serious expression:) I wouldn't worry, Quinn, the cuesticks are really sanded down and lacquered. (Pauses:) You really put a high premium on what your tutor says, don't you?

QUINN: (Finishes examining her nails, looks at him:) Yeah, I do. (Pauses, slight frown:) Um, what's your point?

DARREN: (Tries to go the "delicate" route:) I'm, er, just wondering if he ever says anything about the guys that you do go out with on dates.

QUINN: (Cocks an eyebrow:) Huh? Why would David have a say in who I'd date? He's just my tutor! It's none of his business who I go out with!

DARREN: (Looking more relieved, for this is what he's wanting to hear:) No, of course not, Quinn. (Chuckles out of relief:) You just said you really respect your tutor, and I just wondered if he'd, uh, try and tell you about, er, "moderation" in dating, so it wouldn't interfere with your schoolwork, that's all.

QUINN: (Gives Darren an odd look for an instant, continues:) Uh, okay. I guess I can see where you're coming from. (Shrugs:) I guess David would tell me that I should date less and concentrate on my work--(adds casually:) provided that I even went out at all.

DARREN: (Surprised look, raised eyebrows:) What? You mean, you're not dating, (pauses:) period?

QUINN: (Looks at her hands a second time, not noticing Darren's expression again:) Nah. Even though I, um, "tease" some of the guys at school by saying that I might go out with them soon, I guess I've become so serious about my schoolwork, that between the occasional Fashion Club meeting, I really haven't had the time to date--

DARREN: (Narrows eyes, interrupts:) --Because you're (pointed tone:) "preparing" for those tutoring sessions with David Sorenson, right?

QUINN: (Looks back up to Darren, narrows eye:) Yeah. (Pauses:) So? Like, what's going on, Darren?

DARREN: (Pauses:) I'm trying to figure out why you're not dating, Quinn. I can see you cutting the dates down because you're getting more serious about your education, don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, but no dates at all--?

QUINN: (Uneasy look, sees what Darren's meaning, now:) Oh, uh, did I say that I'm not dating? (Chuckles uneasily:) I meant to say that I'm still dating, just that they're, uh, fewer and farther between now, yeah, that's it.

Quinn glared at Darren for an instant.

QUINN: (Defiant look, hands on hips:) Okay, fine! Yeah, I do! So what?

DARREN: "So what?" Quinn, he's your tutor! (Scowls:) He should know better than that!

QUINN: (Surprised:) Huh? What do you mean, he should? (Frowns:) I like him, not the other way around!

DARREN: (Equally surprised:) What? But I thought he was trying to put the moves on you, and--

QUINN: (Interrupts, realizes:) --Ohh, I see! You think David and me is sorta like Rory is to Stacy, huh? Well, it's definitely not like that!

DARREN: (Returns scowl:) Can you blame me for thinking like that, Quinn? Besides, you're in high school, and he's in college, not to mention that he's older than me!

QUINN: Hey! You're in college, and Jane's still in high school!

DARREN: True, but Jane's 18, now, and by law, she's an adult! You're not, as of yet!

QUINN: (Stomps:) I am too, dammit! Age shouldn't matter! It didn't stop me from getting an illegal I.D., did it?

DARREN: (Shows a brief, droll look:) No, obviously not, but we're not talking about alcohol, we're talking about a guy who's several years older than you! Besides, if age isn't the issue, then Rory could go out with Stacy, which we're all against, right?

QUINN: Darren, David's not Rory! They're nothing alike! (Voice lowers, looks off, wistful expression, sighs:) Besides, it's not as if he's noticed...

DARREN: (Stares at Quinn, loses frown, realizes:) You mean, he hasn't, uh, well--

QUINN: (Suddenly annoyed look, takes it up:) --"Responded" to me? (Pauses, long sigh, slumps, looks down:) No, he hasn't. The other day, just before Daria and I came up here, I, um, "casually" suggested after we finished our session, that he take me to Chez Pierre, you know, kinda like a next-to-last goodbye dinner, 'cause he's gonna be finished with tutoring me week after next, but David kinda laughed it off, saying that I wouldn't want to be seen with a "brainy-looking" guy like him in public, not taking my hint.

DARREN: (Long pause, sympathetic expression, puts hand on her shoulder:) Quinn, look, I'm sorry. I had no idea that you liked this "David" that much. (Pauses, drops an eyebrow, realizes:) And you say he's "brainy-looking"? (Quinn nods, still looking down) The "glasses-wearing", brainy-looking? (Adds quickly:) Not that there's anything wrong with that look, especially since Daria's like, well, you know... (Quinn nods again, still looking down) Quinn, don't take this wrong, but I sort of thought that you preferred--

QUINN: (Glares back up at him, interrupts:) --What, that you thought I liked just "good-looking hunks", is that what you're thinking, Darren?! (Darren is taken aback, but stays silent. Quinn slumps again:) I'm sorry for snapping at you.

DARREN: (Smiles:) That's great, Quinn. (Pauses, slight frown:) But what was it about David Sorenson that you liked?

QUINN: (Freezes, red-faced, remembers her talk with Sandi last week, then bravely continues:) Um, well, when he didn't fall for me like other guys did. (Shakes head:) I mean, when I usually turn on my charm, they all fall down to me, and everything!

DARREN: (Smirks:) It's nice to know that you're modest about it, sis--

QUINN: (Deep frown, snarls:) --It's not funny, Darren! (Darren is taken aback) I mean, David only cared about teaching the real me, not the "boring" Quinn. (Darren now looks shocked, which Quinn notices:) What? Surprised? It's true. During our first session, on the Middle Ages, I think, when I thought learning was boring, Stacy called to tell me something about fashion, not intending to stay on the line for too long, but then I guess we got carried away, and David got more and more annoyed. After looking at his watch for what seemed like the tenth time, he started to get up after collecting our study books. (Darren cocks an eyebrow) I put Stacy on hold, asked him why he was leaving--(pauses, sighs:) and he told me that I was boring.

DARREN: (Raised eyebrows:) You? "Boring"? (Pauses:) He said that?

QUINN: (Narrows eyes, suspicious look:) Um, are you being sarcastic?

DARREN: (Grins, chuckles:) Now, you know between us who has that locked up. (Quinn shows a weak smile) Go on.

QUINN: Well, anyway, I was shocked, naturally, and told him that I was just popular, which didn't seem to impress him. (Brief, hurt look:) David then really tore into me, telling me that the only reason I was popular was my looks, and (pauses, hesitates, then continues:) that they wouldn't last forever. (Darren's eyebrow drops in mild disapproval, but stays silent) He told me that I had "Nothing interesting and no intellectual curiousity whatsoever"--

DARREN: (Interrupts, angered:) --He said that to you? Why didn't you--

QUINN: (Returns the interruption, sharp tone:) --Darren! I'm not finished, yet! (Darren is once again taken aback, stays silent. Quinn continues:) He added that I "Should do the world a favor, and don't go to college", and that I should "Give up my spot to somebody who wants to learn." That really kinda got to me, especially after I thought on what Candi had told us about getting our grades up. (Sighs:) Besides, David was only telling me what you told me, except he did it in a harsher way--

DARREN: (Interrupts:) --Which is my point, Quinn. I can see him pushing you as a method of getting you to be more mindful of your future, but he could've been at least a little more, ah, "tactful" in doing it?

QUINN: (Shakes head:) No, Darren. (Hesitates:) I needed to hear it like that, when I look back. If I wanna make it in the fashion business, then I had to get more serious about my education, and stuff. (Pauses:) I told him I wanted to learn, and he gave me another chance. He didn't have to do that, but I'm glad he did. Then, like, the tension started to go down, and we really began to get along. When mom and dad saw my grades from my tests a few weeks later, they were like, really happy, and thanked David. (Pauses, frowns briefly:) I think Daria was impressed, though she didn't show it, of course.

DARREN: (Nods after a moment:) Well, I guess if Jake and Helen's happy with David's work, then everything's fine.

QUINN: (Smiles:) Yeah, it was. (Pauses, adds with a slow smirk:) Besides, I haven't given up on winning David over, yet. (Looks off, deep in thought:) There's still two weeks to go...

DARREN: (Rolls eyes:) Quinn, don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think David Sorenson's interested in you. He's seems to have made that pretty clear to me.

QUINN: (Giggles, hooks her arm with his:) --Then I'll just haveta try a little harder, won't I?

DARREN: (Pauses, softer tone, worried look:) Sis, I don't want to see you get hurt--

QUINN: (Tone matches his, resolute look, pats his arm:) Darren, I can take care of myself, okay? I'm a big girl.

DARREN: (Slowly grins:) Well, you're my "baby" sister, you know--

QUINN: (Giggles:) --Oh, am I, now? I think I'd like to be thought of as a little older, at least. (Pauses, wry look, smirks:) What's Daria?

DARREN: (Smiles:) She's my "little" sister.

QUINN: (Wry look:) And Jane--?

DARREN: (Big grin:) Jane's simply my "baby". (Quinn giggles) Are you sure you don't want to be my "baby" sister?

QUINN: (Small giggle:) We--ell--

DARREN: --How about my "boo-boo"?

QUINN: (Giggles harder:) Sto--op it! I'm not your "boo-boo"!

DARREN: (Plows on, grinning wider:) A "goo-hoo-boo?"

QUINN: (Beginning to lose control, giggling even harder:) No--oo! I'm not a "goo-hoo-boo"!

DARREN: A "honey-poo"?

QUINN: (Still giggling harder, now tears coming from her eyes:) N-NO! I-I'm not a "honey-poo"!

DARREN: A "sweetie-pie"?

QUINN: (Now completely out of it, giggling profusely, eating it up:) I-I-I'm n-not a "sweetie-pie"!

DARREN: (Suddenly crafty look:) A "cutie-pie"?

QUINN: I-I'm not c-cute! (Darren shows a triumphant, slow mock-smirk. Quinn suddenly becomes very wide-eyed, horrified look, realizes:) WHAT AM I SAYING?! I AM CUTE! (Darren runs off, laughing, and Quinn promptly chases him around the billiard table:) Dammit, Darren! You tricked me--!

DARREN: (While playfully staying out of Quinn's reach, chuckles:) History has been made, ladies and gentleman! My baby sister's said she's not cute! Wait 'till Jane and Daria hear about this! Oh, girl!

QUINN: (Pleads, completely serious as she continues to chase him around the billiard table:) Noooo! Darren, please! You wouldn't dare! AHHH!

Fiona suddenly entered the gameroom with a concerned expression, suddenly opening the double doors.

FIONA: Master Darren, Miss Quinn--? What's going on? I heard some shouting, and--(a laughing Darren blasts by her out of the gameroom, followed by Quinn. Both spin Fiona around, leaving her dizzy:) ohhhhh!

DARREN: (Glances back, which slows him down, laughs:) Thanks, for the assist, Fiona! Remind me to give you a raise!

QUINN: (Tries to grab him, but can't:) Not if I can kill you first, bro! (Both run around the corner into a hallway perpendicular to the one Fiona's standing in. Fiona finally regains her equilibrium, stares after the two in mild shock, shakes her head slowly. Quinn is heard in a distant, sneering tone, saying, "Do you want me to tell Jonita and Lehinta about Crisco caring for them? Do you, huh?" Fiona frowns, utterly confused. Several thumps are suddenly overheard, then a quick succession of steps follow, and a wide-eyed Fiona witnesses what looks like a laughing Darren briefly running by in the perpendicular hallway--with a giggling and squealing Quinn riding on his back, shaking him, with now a worried-looking and confused Elenor and Claude racing after them. The four are out of sight in an instant. Fiona rubs her eyes for a moment in disbelief, then joins in the chase)

**********

(Scene Seventeen: The Appleton Tower, the same time)

Daria sat wordlessly in thought with a talkative Lei, Glenn, and Otis at one end of the table, while Addie sat with the other teens on the opposite end. Mr. Juarez had left them all for a few minutes back through the mirrored door (a bit too quickly for some reason to Daria), wanting them to get "better acquainted" with each other in the meantime. There were writing pads and pencils scattered out over the table from their note-taking over their writing assignments, such as what subjects there would be about, (some of which were surprisingly deep in scope to Daria) the deadlines, how they could send in their stories, and of course, the pay.

After Mr. Juarez had spoken, Daria began to actually like his "pitch". Is it possible that I could do this job? It would seem like I could. We'd have a month-and-a-half to send in our stuff, at least, by e-mail, and $800 if our story is published, as opposed to $400 if it's considered, but rejected. That's not so bad, either. I'd have only a year to do this because they'd only want teens to write, but still, it would look good on my admittedly bare resume. Daria had happened to glance at Addie, who caught her look and rolled her eyes. Oh, yeah. I'd almost forgotten about those damn drawbacks...

During the introductions, Addie and the other teens outside of Lei, Gleen, and Otis had smirked wickedly and sneered wordlessly at Daria when it came her turn, which was last, to introduce herself. Daria was at first privately apprehensive when she spoke, but was relieved to know that at least she wasn't required to tell about who had recommended her for the job, and how she had gotten it. At one point, it seemed that Addie was going to ask just those two things during her introduction, but a quick warning glare and fist from Lei took care of that.

Daria was snapped out of her thoughts by Lei.

LEI: (Concerned look:) --Daria--? You okay?

DARIA: Huh? What? Oh, um, sorry. I was kinda zoned out there. What was the question again?

LEI: (Glances at Glenn and Otis:) Uh, what do you think our first assignment will be about?

DARIA: (Pauses, ponders:) Well, I'm hoping for something on teen self-esteem, which I think needs to be addressed. Too many kids these days either are told that they aren't good enough for their "socially acceptable" peers and need to "fit" in, or that the "socially acceptable" peers tell the kids themselves that they're not good enough to "fit" in.

GLENN: (Grins:) Heeey, that's not a half-bad subject to write about. (Pauses, frowns:) I know I've had to put up with some of that crap at my high school. I didn't wear the "right" sneakers, or know the "right" people--

LEI: (Takes it up from there, frowns as well:) --Tell me about it. For me, it was not wearing the "right" designer clothes, or having the "right" hairstyle, or make-up. (Pauses, smirks:) Good thing I didn't let that bother me too much, especially since I could beat the crap out of my detractors with my knowledge of kick boxing, which one or two of them found out on occasion. (Daria cocks a very high eyebrow) They've avoided me pretty much since then. (Looks off, sad, sighs:) But still, you know, there are times that I wished I could've gotten along with some of them better...

GLENN: (After a moment:) What about you, Otis? (Otis is staring at Daria dreamily again. Daria notices his look for the first time, stares at him uneasily) Otis?

OTIS: (Shakes out, turns to Glenn:) Huh? Oh, uh, yeah, it's happened to me, too. (Sighs, slumps:) You know, I was "too geeky-looking", and stuff like that. I had only one true friend who accepted me as I was. (The others, particularly Daria, give him a look of sympathy) I was pretty shocked to have been chosen to do this over everybody in my school, even though I had the best grades, but now, I'm really kinda proud that I was. (Weak chuckle, shrugs:) Who knows? Maybe even some of the girls at my school might become interested in what I do--(weakly adds, small smile:) and in me.

DARIA: (Hesitates, almost goes into a sarcastic response, but doesn't, continues:) Um, hey, it's possible. (Pauses:) I'm pretty sure that my younger sister, who's usually more in the "Barbie-looking" and "popular" mold, currently likes a "geeky-looking" guy. (Otis looks surprised)

OTIS: (Wide-eyed:) Really? (Pauses, looks hopeful:) Wow. (Pauses, hesitates:) Uh, do you have a boyfriend, Daria? (Lei and Glenn look at each other, surprised like Daria)

DARIA: (Blushes for an instant, continues:) Uh, yeah. Actually, I do. (Pauses to Otis' now-devastated look, quickly adds:) Um, sorry about that. Thanks for asking, anyway. (Pauses:) I'm, um, very flattered that you even asked me--(pauses, adds:) I guess...

OTIS: (Small, wistful smile:) Oh, uh, you're welcome. (Pauses, adds, weak chuckle, shrugs:) We live in different parts of the country, anyway, it wouldn't have worked, even if you were available, right?

DARIA: Well, actually, my brother's seeing my best friend, Jane Lane, and--(pauses, thought v.o.: Whoa. Not a good idea to go down that route, Morgendorffer. You don't want them to think about how your brother can easily afford to fly his kinfolk and girlfriend around the universe with his gazillions...:) uh, never mind. (Deadpan:) Just ignore my mindless, rambling thoughts. I find myself doing it more and more these days. (The others look at each other oddly for an instant)

GLENN: Uhhh, okaaay, Daria...

LEI: (After a moment:) So, Daria, what did you think about Mr. Juarez? He seems like he's gonna be a pretty okay editor--(smirks:) for an adult.

DARIA: I'll admit that he did a pretty good job in describing what we could write about, but did any of you notice how he also seemed--(pauses, tries to find the right words:) um, I dunno, kinda like he was on edge about something?

OTIS: (Slight frown:) Now that you've mentioned it, he did look like he was uneasy...

GLENN: (Ponders:) Huh. I didn't notice anything--

LEI: --Neither did I.

DARIA: (Thought v.o., turns pale, realizes: Oh, hell. Is it because he's so pissed that he's had to put up with me, knowing that I'm related to Darren, and is under Constance's orders to treat me differently, or else? Terrific. Wonderful. Fan-damn-tastic. Just what in the hell I don't need.) (Glances over, notices, slowly shuts eyes, sighs, thought v.o.: And it's not like I need this crap, either...)

A smirking Addie had suddenly come over with the other teens. Daria, Glenn, and Otis looked at her stoically, while Lei scowled. They all stood up.

ADDIE: (Sneering tone:) Daria, our little part of the staff has been talking about only one thing since Mr. Juarez left us for a bit, and we need your input on the subject--

DARIA: (Interrupts, deadpan mock-rushed tone:) --Yes, yes, you all can borrow our pencils, but our little part of the staff's still haggling over what to charge your's as a user's fee. (Pauses to the smirks of the others with her, and the mild scowls of Addie's group:) Come back in another minute, will you, and we'll have our price.

ADDIE: (Snorts:) Hilarious. Actually, that's not why we're here. (Pauses:) Help us straighten something out, will you? How about admitting how you really got on this "elite" staff of our's, hmmm?

LEI: (Very deep frown:) What the--(slams hand on table, startling everyone:) that does it! You're going down, Addie!

GUY: (Brown-haired fellow beside Addie, holds up hand. His name's Norman, by the way:) Whoa, hey, waitasec, Lei! I think Addie's got the right idea in just inquiring about Daria, y'know--?

GIRL: (Long-haired brunette, cuts in as well. Her name's Tricia:) Yeah! I mean, I'm assuming that she got the job like we did, but we just want to know for sure!

GLENN: (Snorts:) Suuure you do! You just want to give Daria an even rougher time because she's the sister of that Appleton guy, isn't it?

OTIS: (Frowns:) Glenn's right! What's the big deal? She's going to be working like we all are, here! (Daria gives Otis an uneasy look, still privately unsure that she'll take the job)

ADDIE: (Hands on hips:) The "big deal" is whether or not Daria earned her right to be here, like us! Mr. Juarez didn't really ask us because he had our credentials already, but we don't know anything about Darren Appleton's sister, other than her going to some place called "Lawndale High" in a suburb called "Lawndale"! That's it! (Smirks, glances at the teens who came over with her:) We're willing to give you a chance to tell us how you got here, Daria. If it's good enough, we won't raise a stink in protest with Mr. Juarez. (The other teens with her nod)

LEI: (Furious:) I can't believe this crap! (Starts to come around her chair:) I'm gonna kick your ass, Addie--

DARIA: (Suddenly puts her arm in front of Lei, which stops her, interrupts:) --No, Lei. You don't have to defend me, okay? I want to tell them.

LEI: What? But you don't have to--

DARIA: (Narrows eyes to Addie:) --Yeah, I do have to. Even though we all live in different parts of the country, and may never see each other on a regular basis, I think that in order to gain any respect from my peers, I have to do this. The last thing I need is to have you all think that I got this writing job because I'm related to the future head of Appleton Industries, (glances at Lei, Glenn, and Otis:) and yeah, that goes for you guys, too. I'm not one who favors nepotism, believe me.

ADDIE: (Crosses arms, smug look:) Go ahead, we're waiting.

DARIA: (Sighs:) Basically, Constance gave me this job because she believes that I helped her to get the top job at Appleton Industries. (Pauses:) Have you all heard about the story of Darren staying with us? We didn't know who he was at the time--

NORMAN: (Looks around to the others:) Yeah, I think so, it was in the media...(the others nod slowly in agreement)

DARIA: Well, that saves me some story time. Anyway, one day, while Darren and I were watching some news concerning his company on TV, I made a crack about Constance getting a raw deal from William Appleton when she made some slick big business deal that Darren's company had apparently been seeking for years. As a reward, that bastard sent her packing for Japan. I thought it wasn't right, and said as much. Apparently, Darren had remembered what I said later, and told Constance that he chose her to become head of his company because of me.

TRICIA: And Constance Waters wanted to pay you back in a way, is that it?

DARIA: (Pauses, hesitates, nods:) Yeah, that's about it. Darren had found out that I was a writer from some of my work, which I had shown him while he stayed with us. He liked it, even making photocopies to show to the head of the journalism department at Eastward College, where I plan to go next year with him. What I didn't know was that he had shown my work to Constance, who liked it so much, she decided to shock me by making an offer for me to join some new teen magazine she was creating. (Pauses:) I--didn't want to join it at first, because I was afraid you guys would think this very thing: that I got this gig because of my being related to Darren.

There was a brief pause as everyone looked at each other. After a moment, Daria continued.

DARIA: But Constance, and my brother in particular, were pretty persuasive, and I decided to give it a try. (Long pause:) I, um, started to have my doubts again about doing this just before I met you all, thinking that some of you would resent me if you knew who I was--(looks around:) which I guess is sorta true. However, after Mr. Juarez began to talk about the job, maybe I started to believe I could actually do this without any reservations. (Glances around:) If you're still against me being here, (sighs, slumps:) then I'll turn down the job.

There was a longer pause this time as the other teens looked at each other wordlessly, unsure. Addie merely stared at Daria carefully, slightly narrowing her eyes, as if she were examining her. Lei finally spoke up.

LEI: (Looks around, cocks eyebrow:) Well, I still want you here, Daria, but maybe if you had some of your writing with you, it could convince the others if they read them--?

TRICIA: (Shrugs:) That seems fair. (The others with Addie nod their heads) Do you have any of your stuff with you, by any chance--?

DARIA: (Slightly smirks:) Actually, I do. (Reaches in her bookbag, pulls out some papers:) I was working on a story in addition to some of my ideas for the magazine. It's about a girl named "Melody Powers", who's a spy for the government. It's called, "Operation Elimination". (Gives papers to Tricia, who takes them. The other students crowd around her to read:) Keep in mind that I'm still fine-tuning it, so it's not quite finished, yet.

Hiding her nervousness, Daria quietly sat back down at her seat while the other students read her story, passing the pages amongst themselves. She reached in her bookbag again, and pulled out a book, Herman Wouk's Youngblood Hawke, turned to where her bookmark was, and began reading, occasionally glancing up out of the corner of her eye at the others for their reactions.

Virtually all of the teens were wide-eyed as they read Daria's story, with some (Addie in particular), dropping their mouths in shock. Lei chuckled and smirked, while Glenn and Otis simply looked stunned. Tricia and Nelson glanced up nervously at Daria on occasion, then back down at the story, as if they were too terrified to read, but yet couldn't take their eyes off because they were so fasinated. After about five minutes, everyone stopped. Daria promptly closed her book and wordlessly stared at them as she rose out of her seat, her "expressionless expression" intact, though underneath, her heart was beating so hard, it seemed to her to about to leave her chest. To her mild shock, Addie spoke first.

ADDIE: (Tries to find the words:) Uh, Daria--? This--is, I mean--wow.

NORMAN: (Ditto:) Yeah. Wow.

TRICIA: (Ditto again, shakes her head slowly:) That was--was--

LEI: (Grins:) --Awesome, Daria! I loved Melody's vicious "love taps"!

GLENN: (Smiles:) Yeah, you really caught the gist of the mind games between Melody and her enemies! That was some serious action!

OTIS: (Wide-eyed, excited:) I've never read anything like that before, except for some Stephen King, or Ian Fleming! Heck, it was a combination of the two! Great descriptive detail!

Daria showed her Mona Lisa smile as the others quickly followed in agreement, either in delighted horror, or in genuine praise.

DARIA: (Thought v.o., hiding her [for Daria] excitement: They actually liked it, even Addie. Melody Powers saves my ass. Guess that just about seals the deal on my decision...:) Um, thanks. (Weary tone:) Soooo--what's the verdict?

TRICIA: (Smiles, looks at the others:) Well, what do you guys think?

NORMAN: (Smiles as well:) I vote she stays. Any girl who can write that vicious, it would probably scare our parents, and that's fine by me.

TRICIA: (Smirks:) Just what I was thinking. (Pauses:) She stays.

LEI: (Grins:) You know my vote.

GLENN: (Ditto:) Yep, same here.

OTIS: (Laughs:) We'd be crazy to let Daria go! I'm in!

The other teens quickly followed suit, save for Addie, who crossed her arms, and resumed her smirk. Daria stared at her, uncertain.

LEI: (Cocks eyebrow:) Well, Addie--? (Pauses:) Is it unanimous, or what?

ADDIE: (After a moment, keeps smirk, glances around:) Hey, who am I to mess up the vote? Daria stays. (Daria looks stunned for an instant, then gives her Mona Lisa smile, grateful. Addie merely shrugs at her, still with her smirk)

Mr. Juarez walked in from the mirrored door the next instant, smiling, though once again to Daria, he seemed uneasy.

MR. JUAREZ: Er, well, now that you all seem to have gotten better acquainted, how about lunch? We've catered a wide variety of foods for everyone's tastes in the first floor cafeteria--

DARIA: I have a question.

MR. JUAREZ: (Suddenly develops an uncomfortable expression:) Ah, yes, Daria?

DARIA: (Pauses, thought v.o.: He's got that uneasy look again...:) Um, do you have pizza?

MR. JUAREZ: (Small chuckle of relief:) As a matter of fact, we do, Daria.

DARIA: Then I'm game. (Thought v.o.: And I can talk to you alone while we're chowing down about why you seem to be on edge. It has to be about me, bad warts and all. They've accepted me. You don't have to worry about treating me any differently anymore.)

MR. JUAREZ: (Smiles:) Excellent. Please go to the elevators. (The others begin to follow him out, save for Addie and Daria. Mr. Juarez, who watches the others pass by, notices, narrows an eye at this, decides to wait just outside the door)

DARIA: (To Addie:) Uh, thanks for doing that, Addie. I kinda thought you'd sorta, um, well...(voice drifts off)

ADDIE: (Chuckles:) --What, thought that I'd somehow raise a nasty little bitchy ruckus? The crowd has spoken, and I've listened. (Grins:) Sorry to have disappointed you.

DARIA: (Small nod, tiny, brief smile:) Guess I'll have to get over it. (Pauses:) Seriously, in a way, if it hadn't been for you--(pauses:) I more than likely wouldn't have taken this job.

ADDIE: (Cocks an eyebrow:) Oh? Really?

DARIA: (Clearly embarassed, but continues:) Uh, yeah. I was kinda set on turning it down because of, well, my being related to Darren Appleton. I think your getting me pissed off in here and in the restroom earlier made me sort of--(pauses, slight scowl:) determined to do this. I guess I wanted to prove to you and the others that I could do the job. (Pauses, narrows eyes, quieter tone:) Maybe I needed to prove it to myself, too.

ADDIE: (Pauses, then slightly smirks:) Then I guess in a way, I did my job in convincing you that you could, huh?

DARIA: (Gives her a brief, odd look, shrugs:) Yeah, I guess in a way, you did. (Leaves. Mr. Juarez looks in, tepid)

ADDIE: (Hesitates, glances at the mirrored wall:) Uh, I'll be there in a few minutes, okay, Mr. Juarez? I've--got to use the restroom.

MR. JUAREZ: (Slight nod, knowing look:) Of course--(pauses, adds:) er, "Addie". (Leaves)

**********

(Scene Eighteen: The hallway)

Daria caught up to Lei, Glenn, Otis, and the other teens, who had decided to mill around and wait for Daria and the others. They now all followed Mr. Juarez to the elevators.

NORMAN: (Notices, looks around:) Hey, where's Addie, Mr. Juarez?

MR. JUAREZ: (Hesitates:) She'll be along later, Norman. She's, er, freshening up.

DARIA: (Hesitates, to Lei, Glenn, and Otis, lower tone:) Um, thanks again for the support, guys. (Pauses, adds:) It meant a lot to me.

LEI: (Grins:) You're welcome, Daria. Besides, as much as I kinda liked you before, I think I really like you now that I read your story.

GLENN: (Smirks:) Lei's right. (Pauses, hopeful expression:) Got anymore like that?

DARIA: (Smirks:) As a matter of fact, I do, but they're at my home in Lawndale. I've thought about creating a website devoted to Melody Powers stories, but I haven't gotten around to doing it, yet. (Pauses, shrugs:) I guess you can say that I've been the proverbial lazy-ass. (The others chuckle)

OTIS: (Eager look:) Is there any way you can send them through e-mail, by a .txt, .html, or .doc file?

DARIA: (Mona Lisa smile:) I think I can swing any of those. (Hesitates:) I, uh, was going to ask if we can all stay in touch through our e-mail addresses, anyway. (Pauses, slight wide-eyed expression:) Oh, crap. I forgot my bookbag back in the meeting room. You guys go on ahead, alright? I'll be along.

LEI: Okay, Daria. (Daria leaves)

Mr. Juarez was going with the other students into the elevator as Lei, Glenn, and Otis followed. He stood to the side, and let them in. He was about to push the "1" button, then frowned.

MR. JUAREZ: Where's Daria? Wasn't she with you?

LEI: Daria's going back to get her bookbag, Mr. Juarez. She forgot it.

MR. JUAREZ: (Suddenly alarmed:) She has? Uh, you all go on ahead, alright? I'll be there in a few minutes. (Quickly pushes the "1" button, slips out the closing doors before anyone can say anything, sees Daria entering the meeting room:) DARIA, WAIT! (Runs off after her)

**********

(Scene Nineteen: The meeting room)

Daria walked in, becoming immediately wide-eyed. A smirking Addie was speaking to Constance Waters in mid conversation as Constance was giving her what appeared to be a check.

ADDIE: (In a typical "New Yawk" voice, totally unlike her previous one:) --Done my job, Ms. Waters, as you saw yourself. Daria's got enough confidence--(sees Daria along with Constance. Both turn pale in shock:) in--herself--? (Long pause, uneasy chuckle, keeps her voice:) Oh, uh, hi again, Daria.

Mr. Juarez suddenly bolted in, almost running into the back of Daria, out of breath. He stared at them all, looking uneasy, then muttered something to himself in Spanish.

DARIA: (Turns to him, cocks an eyebrow:) Oh, yeah, "The ball's been dropped", Mr. Juarez. (Turns back to Constance and Addie, narrows eyes:) Would someone tell me just what in the hell is going on here?

CONSTANCE: (Sighs in defeat, for the jig is up:) Hector, Susan, would you both please leave? I want to speak to Daria alone.

HECTOR: (Slight frown, hard sigh:) I told you this wouldn't work, Constance. (Daria narrows an eye at him)

CONSTANCE: (Subtle, annoyed tone, sighs:) Yes, you did, Hector, and as I told you, if things went badly, we'd come clean with Daria and the others, and that I'd take the ultimate responsibility. Go on and tell them everything, before they start asking questions, which they more than likely are doing now. I'll join you all in a few. (Glances at "Susan":) After all, I'm going to assume that Susan won't be able to stay, since the secret will be out.

SUSAN: (Nods:) Yeah, you got that right. They probably would wanta kill me after finding out about my part in this. Looked forward to getting some food here, though, I'm kinda famished. (Looks at her check, smirks:) Then again, I can easily get some good grub with this payoff.

HECTOR: (Slow nod:) Fine, Constance. (Pauses, turns to, contrite tone, look:) Daria, please accept my apologies for my part in doing this to you. When Constance informed me this morning, I was totally against it. I didn't think all of this was necessary.

DARIA: (After a moment:) Mm. (Pauses:) So that's why you were acting strangely around me. You were involved in this "sting", too.

MR. JUAREZ: (Glances uneasily at Constance:) Yes. And I felt awful all throughout while I was doing it, believe me. (Pauses:) I really think you have very good potential as a writer, from what Constance showed me, and you'd make a great addition to the magazine. Please don't throw away that chance, Daria. (Leaves. After an awkward moment, "Susan" begins to follow)

DARIA: (Now raised eyebrows as the girl she knew as "Addie" walks by:) "Susan"?

SUSAN: (Sad smile, stops:) Yeah. Susan Turner, twenty-one years old, going on. (Pauses:) Sorry for the hard time I gave you, kid. Nothing personal--(adds:) really. (Looks back at Constance:) Ms. Waters will explain everything. (Appears as if she's going to leave, then stops, smirks:) If it's any consolation, that was one hell of a story you wrote. (Leaves)

DARIA: (Looks back after her:) Um, thanks--I think.

CONSTANCE: (Motions to Daria's seat, sits down in Mr. Juarez's old one, smiles quietly:) Hello again, Daria.

DARIA: (Quietly sits down, grips her bookbag:) Constance. (Pauses, subtle tone of anger, sarcastic:) Before we begin, what part did you play, "Johnny Hooker"? Was Mr. Juarez "Henry Gondorff"? Or was it the other way around? Was I supposed to be "Doyle Lonnegan"?

CONSTANCE: (Takes a deep breath, then sighs:) No, no, and no, Daria. (Pauses:) Last night, Darren called to tell me that he was worried about the way you were concerning your meeting with Mr. Juarez and the other writers--

DARIA: (Stunned expression, interrupts:) --Darren? He was in on this? (Scowls:) Who in the hell was he, "J.J. Singleton"? "William Snyder", perhaps?

CONSTANCE: (Exasperated look, tone:) Daria, please. Enough with the references to "The Sting", alright? This is hard enough as it is. (Daria says nothing, but retains her scowl) Darren said that you seemed to not be yourself--

DARIA: (Bit of a sneer:) --He told me that last night, too, he did. (Pauses:) Go on.

CONSTANCE: (After a moment:) He added that he thought the reason was that you didn't seem to be too confident about today. He guessed that it may have been your apprehension about being related to him, and what the other writers might do if they found out. (Daria shows another stunned look) Oh, so it was true--?

DARIA: (For once, at a loss for words:) I--well, I felt something like that. (Frowns, quickly adds:) Still, he and you had no right to do that to me--

CONSTANCE: (Interrupts, cocks an eyebrow:) --Do what to you, Daria? (Quickly goes on before Daria can speak:) Oh, wait, you mean to humilate or to embarass you, is that it?

DARIA: (Still with her frown:) You're getting the gist of it. You catch on fast.

CONSTANCE: (Sighs:) Daria, think: Why would Darren and I encourage you to take this job, then suddenly do a 180 and discourage you from taking it?

DARIA: (Keeping the frown:) I wouldn't know. (Pauses:) You tell me.

CONSTANCE: And so I will. (Pauses:) Did Darren tell you about working in the stockrooms in the lower bowels of this building when he was younger?

DARIA: Yeah, he did.

CONSTANCE: Did you know he was only 14 years old when he started? (Daria shakes her head) I got bits and pieces of this story from Darren, Millie, and his parents. His father wanted him to start learning the business from the ground up, and Darren was more than eager and willing to work hard. Arthur Sr. put him in there for a few hours a day during the summer, loading and unloading boxes off of company trucks with several other boys.

DARIA: (Pauses:) Did these boys know who he was?

CONSTANCE: Yes, but he didn't want to be treated any differently, and he wasn't. Anyway, for the first few days, nothing happened, and Darren was working really hard, even making friends with some of the boys, who started to respect him for working right along beside them. He came home tired, but he was pleased with himself--not more than his father, or his sometimes-worried mother was with him, of course. Everything seemed to be perfect.

DARIA: (Narrows eyes:) Buuuut--?

CONSTANCE: The next day, a new boy arrived, and started to work with Darren and the other boys, then began to tease and make smart remarks to him about being "The Big Man's" son, and how he had it easier than everyone else, despite the fact that Darren was working beside him. Darren tried to ignore him, but that boy kept it up, teasing him mercilessly. Soon, even the other boys were getting in on the act, save for a few who sympathized with Darren. Darren would come home, going straight to his room, refusing to speak with his parents until dinner. They figured that he was just tired, or something. (Pauses:) What they didn't know was that he--(hesitates:) was crying in his room.

DARIA: (Shocked expression:) Darren was--crying?

CONSTANCE: Yes, more out of frustration than anything else. This happened more than once, over the span of several days. Elenor had overheard his sobbing one day, hearing, "I can't help that I'm related to my parents!", (Daria shows an expression of realization) and knocked on his door to inquire. Darren had tried to cover it up, but she could see his red eyes. Pretending to believe him, Elenor went to Arthur Sr. and Lucille, and told them. Both of his parents were able to put two and two together, and Lucille was about to tear up the stairs to comfort her "little boy", but Arthur Sr. stopped her, explaining that their son would never live it down if he found out that they knew. Arthur decided to speak to William Appleton, since he was head of the shipping division at the time. William said he'd take care of it.

DARIA: (Frowns:) Let me guess--for some reason, he didn't, did he?

CONSTANCE: (Slight nod:) Oh, William "spoke" to the boy, or claimed that he did, for the boy was on his "best" behavior for a day or two, but the other boys took up the slack, since he had planted the seed, and that boy jumped right in behind them, really turning up the heat. Darren had had enough, coming home, this time more furious than frustrated, saying flat out that he'd never work at the stockrooms again because he was related to "The Big Man"--Arthur Sr., and that the boys wouldn't treat him right because of it. (Daria takes on a reflective look) Needless to say, Arthur Sr. was furious with those boys--and William, since Arthur Sr. thought that he took care of the problem.

DARIA: (Interested look:) What happened next?

CONSTANCE: Arthur traveled that same night to William's apartment to confront him--only to discover that the boy who had tormented Darren was coming out of William's apartment--with a check, and being thanked by William. (Daria's eyebrows rise) Apparently, the boy was a young actor that was hired by William to give Darren a hard time, (adds, smirks:) which Arthur Sr. found out after he'd slammed his brother against the wall, demanding an answer. (Daria's eyes go very wide)

DARIA: Whoa. (Pauses:) Well, um, so much for "gentle" persuasion, huh? (Pauses, narrows eyes, realizes:) Waaaait a minute. "Susan"--?

CONSTANCE: That's right, Daria. Susan was an actress hired by Darren to give you a "hard" time, but I'll explain that in a moment, alright? (Daria says nothing. Constance continues:) Anyway, William cried out that the only reason he had done that was to "build up" Darren's character against people who'd give him a rough time because he was an Appleton, to "inoculate" him from criticism, so he could take it better when they'd say that was the only reason he had his wealth. Millie told me that Arthur told her a few years later that he believed William really did this to try and discourage Darren from getting too involved in the company, which was probably right. (Daria frowns, ponders) What is it, Daria?

DARIA: Um, that kinda reminded me of something similar--Darren told me and my sister about some of William Appleton's old cronies mumbling about you being in charge, and of him waiting in the wings to have it easy for the rest of his life.

CONSTANCE: (Slight nod:) Ah. Those nasty "apparent heir" rumors.

DARIA: Yeah. As a matter of fact, I witnessed two ex-employees of your's that were loyal to William Appleton coming in today to clear out their offices.

CONSTANCE: (Nods:) A "Mr. Gold" and a "Mrs. Teely".

DARIA: Correct. I heard they were fired for attempting to steal some company secrets, or something.

CONSTANCE: Yes. I fired them this morning after getting some info that they were behind trying to sell some of Appleton's technology to a competitor. We were able to stop it just in time. Those two may think we can't prove they did it, but we've got overwhelming evidence to the contrary. (Frowns:) They're going down. Hard. Hopefully, the message will be driven home to any of the other "loyal" employees of William's, now.

DARIA: (Deadpan:) Splendid. (Pauses:) So, what did Arthur Sr. do next? Did he actually believe William's bull?

CONSTANCE: Arthur Sr. decided to cool off, simply turned away from his brother in disgust, and went back to the mansion. After a short period of wondering whether or not to say anything to his family, he decided to do so, telling Lucille and Darren about William's little story.

DARIA: I take it Darren was pretty pissed--?

CONSTANCE: Oh yeah. In fact, he asked his parents if he could go back to the stockroom, and finish out the summer. Lucille was concerned, but a proud Arthur Sr. gave him his blessing to do so. Surely enough, the taunting began again, but Darren ignored them, working with such a zeal, that he left everyone in the dust. Each boy had a certain quota they had to fill everyday, you see, and Darren's was off the charts. Soon, the taunting wasn't heard anymore. Darren worked three more summers after that, and gained some serious respect among the employees here, from now on.

DARIA: Save for William Appleton's, of course. (Constance nods)

CONSTANCE: And the thing about it was, William's plan had the opposite effect. It made Darren stronger, ironically, doing the very thing William "claimed" to have wanted for Darren.

DARIA: (Smirks, sarcastic tone:) And I'm sure that pleased the hell out of William, right?

CONSTANCE: (Nods, brief smirk:) Truth be told, Daria, I'm sure that it did--after William returned from a four month company "fact-finding" trip in Alaska later that winter that Arthur Sr. ordered him to go on as a "thank you" for his "concern" about Darren. (Daria gives a rare, low chuckle with Constance, then suddenly remembers she's supposed to be angry, immediately stops. Constance notices this, becomes serious again, both in look and tone:) Daria, I think what I'm trying to say about all of this came about because--

DARIA: (Hold up hand, interrupts:) --I think I get the picture, Constance. Darren saw in me what he went through, and did to me what William did to him, but in my case, it was in my brother's thinking that he could help me, not hurt me. (Pauses:) You're gonna say that he wanted me to stand up for and believe in myself--which is exactly what I did to "Addie" and the others.

CONSTANCE: (Relieved look:) I couldn't have said it any better myself, Daria.

DARIA: (Ponders, then frowns:) I suppose I should be flattered that my brother would go to such an extreme to get me to take this job, but what the hell? Guess what? I'm not. I think I'll have a little "discussion" with my brother when I get back, then pack the hell up for home. After I'm through with him, I'm pretty sure that he'll never pull off something like this with me again--(suddenly stands. Constance, alarmed, also does as well) See you never again, Constance--(begins to turn away)

CONSTANCE: Daria, wait! (Pauses, in a pleading tone:) Please! (Daria sighs, turns back to her) Before you leave, I want to ask you one question.

DARIA: (After a moment:) Fine, go ahead. (Looks at watch:) The meter's running, so be quick.

CONSTANCE: You told "Addie" that you weren't going to take this job, but changed your mind because of what she did, right?

DARIA: (After a moment:) Um, yeah, or what I thought she did. (Pauses:) So?

CONSTANCE: So, if you hadn't have taken this job, are you telling me that being related to Darren basically handicaps you for the rest of your life?

DARIA: (Cocks an eyebrow:) Excuse me? "Handicaps" me? What do you mean?

CONSTANCE: That being related to a rich brother basically will dictate the way you'll live your life from now on, that's what I mean. You'll have to make it on your own, without any help from Darren whatsoever.

DARIA: (Frowns:) With the way I'm feeling at the moment, that's not so bad.

CONSTANCE: But how will Darren feel? He only wanted to help you, and now you'll be pushing him, (adds:) and me, for that matter, away. (Daria forms a torn expression) Daria, I'm begging you, please don't do this. You have good potential as a writer, you wrote that "Melody Powers" story on your own, and the other writers seemed to have liked it. Darren and I only had your best interest at heart, you must believe that.

DARIA: (Sighs, soft tone, miserable expression:) I--(pauses, mumbles, frowns:) dammit...

CONSTANCE: (Slightly smiles, hoping privately against hope, matches Daria's tone:) Daria--?

DARIA: (Takes on a solemn expression, slumps:) Maybe--maybe if I had just spoken to him about my worries for today when he asked me twice about it last night, he wouldn't have done this.

CONSTANCE: (Quiet tone, after a long moment:) He wouldn't have, Daria, believe me. He told me as much. I could tell that Darren really wanted to speak to you.

DARIA: (Looks off, and voice trails off as well:) Um, really--?

CONSTANCE: (Smiles:) Yes. (Pauses, cocks an eyebrow, realizes:) Why didn't you talk to him?

DARIA: (Frowns, ponders:) I--don't know. Maybe it had something to do with my pride, or, hell, maybe even in my still getting to know him. I felt uncomfortable, don't ask me why, I just did. I wanted to talk to someone else, but the people I knew were either out of town, and not around, or, um, too busy with other stuff, and I didn't want to bother them.

CONSTANCE: (After a moment:) Maybe you should begin to know Darren more, then. (Daria stares at her, inquisitive) That way, you two can talk about personal things a little better.

DARIA: (Looks off, wistful:) Yeah, I...(pauses, cocks an eyebrow:) um, was Darren gonna eventually tell me what he did?

CONSTANCE: (Pointed tone:) Yes, Daria. (Pauses:) After you had finished writing here.

DARIA: (Small, bitter smirk:) No doubt so we could have a good chuckle out of it. Where'd you find Add--I mean, Susan? She sure as hell fooled me and everybody else.

CONSTANCE: From a talent agency in Brooklyn, and she was their best actress. We were lucky to get her, because she was going across the country to do a commercial this morning. (Smiles:) The $15,000 we offered the agency and $8,000 to her changed her mind. (Daria cocks a high eyebrow) I quickly went over with her what to do. I told her who you were, and described your appearance. I also told her that I'd keep an eye out on her progress, because it was based on getting you to stay at the magazine, and of having no doubts in yourself in doing the job. Hector reluctantly went with it, as you know. Please don't hold it against him, he's an excellent editor.

DARIA: (Deadpan:) I'll take that under serious consideration. (Pauses, cocks an eyebrow:) You didn't object to Darren's idea at all?

CONSTANCE: Oh, I definitely had my doubts, Daria. I feared that Darren was doing something pretty foolish, and he could even possibly drive you away, (shows her an uneasy look:) which he obviously just about did, but he had asked that I do this as a personal favor to him. (Sighs:) I felt that I owed him for choosing me to run the company, so I agreed--after I asked him to check your behavior one more time, that is. He called me again last night, and said you hadn't changed. I then proceeded.

DARIA: (Thought v.o.: That must've been after we had spoken about it again.) (Pauses, realizes, glances at the mirrored door and wall:) Um, wait. You said that you'd "keep an eye out" on Susan's progress, and you knew about the Melody Powers story? Does that mean--

CONSTANCE: (Grins:) --Yes. And I think I know what you're thinking, Daria. (Pauses:) Go on ahead.

Daria wordlessly went over to the mirrored wall and door, opened the door, and walked in.

Inside the blue carpeted, white room, there was a small lounge, with a snack and soda machine, a comfortable-looking light blue sofa, chair, and wood desk, complete with a computer and a large, flat-screened 20-inch monitor. Along the entire wall (behind the mirror), was the meeting room, all of which was seen through a large, glass window. There was a door that was marked with the unisex symbols for a men's and women's restroom, and another door, which to Daria was probably another way out. Constance came up beside her.

DARIA: Of course. I assume this is what Mr. Juarez stepped into for when he left us alone, to join you? (Constance nods) (Pauses:) I could kick myself for not suspecting this, because it's happened to me before.

CONSTANCE: (Raised eyebrows:) It has? When?

DARIA: (Loud sigh:) At a stupid place during a stupid time in my life that I'd rather forget about, thank you very much.

CONSTANCE: (Chuckles:) Gotcha. I won't ask anymore. Anyway, we use this room as an occasional barometer to measure our potential customer's reactions to company products that haven't been introduced to the public, yet.

DARIA: Yeah, that sounds familiar, too. (Pauses:) I assume you can you hear what goes on in the meeting room?

CONSTANCE: (Nods:) Of course. I overheard everything you all said in there, via the hidden microphones. This room is also soundproofed. You couldn't hear us.

DARIA: And so the mystery is over.

CONSTANCE: (After a moment, hesitates:) Not quite. (Daria narrows an eye) You haven't told me that you've decided to take the job, yet.

DARIA: (Stoic tone:) No, I haven't. (Constance once again looks worried) I'd like to speak to the other teen writers myself about all of this before I decide, since Mr. Juarez has obviously told them by now. I'm sure they'd want to add in their opinions as well, it's only fair.

CONSTANCE: (Pauses, nods, resigned voice:) Yes, you're right, of course. Lead the way...(Daria retrieves her bookbag from the meeting room, and is followed out by Constance)

**********

(Scene Twenty: The Appleton mansion, about an hour-and-a-half later)

Daria walked into the foyer while Fiona held the door open.

DARIA: Hey, Fiona.

FIONA: (Smiles, curtseys:) Hello, Daria. How did your meeting go?

DARIA: (Pauses, betrays no emotion:) Ummm, pretty good. Is Darren here?

FIONA: (Nods, smiles:) Yes. He and Miss Quinn are in the media room. They're watching a movie.

DARIA: Thanks. (Leaves)

Daria entered the media room. Immediately from behind (the sofa was faced away from the double doors), she noticed that Darren's head seemed to be slumped against the top of the sofa, and a soft snoring sound was coming from him. Daria slightly smirked, despite her current feelings. He must be taking a nap. No surprise there, since he got to sleep late last night, like me. But I don't see Quinn...

Daria lightly stepped around to the front of the sofa, and grew wide-eyed. Quinn was asleep as well, but lying on her brother's chest, almost snuggled up to him, with Darren's right arm around her right shoulder. I'd guess that this would be a cute, almost touching scene, but then again, I've never believed in cute and touching scenes, other than of imagining Quinn bald-headed, with acme, and in rags...

Daria cut her eyes to the big-screened plasma TV, noticing that it was still on, showing a snowy screen. She looked down at the large, oval coffee table, seeing an open DVD case among the bevy of mostly-eaten foods, such as popcorn, sandwiches, and sodas (fat-free and diet for Quinn, of course). The case read The English Patient. Daria showed a slight smirk. I've been meaning to see that movie. I've heard that it was pretty sad and gross--which is right up my alley.

Daria reached over the pile of cusine refuge, and retrieved the large remote, clicking off the TV. This seemed to rouse Darren, who slowly opened his eyes. Quinn, on the other hand, merely snuggled tighter to her brother, smacking her mouth. Daria couldn't help but to actually grin at this in amusement, once again despite her current feelings. Darren, now more awake and alert, stared at Daria, wide-eyed.

DARREN: Daria! Hey! When did you get back? (Pauses:) More importantly, why are you grinning? I don't think I've ever seen that before!

DARIA: (Small, brief smirk:) There's a first time for everything, bro. (Amused tone:) Well, it seems like you two have gotten pretty cozy, haven't you? (Motions head down at Quinn)

DARREN: Eh? (Looks down, smiles, gently shakes Quinn:) Hey, wake up, sis.

QUINN: (Finally begins to stir, mumbles:) Muh--oom, not noow...(eyes flutter open:) huh? (Looks up at Darren, then to Daria, immediately becomes wide-eyed:) AAH! DARIA! (Immediately jumps back from a startled Darren, stands up)

DARIA: (Resumes grin:) Buzzzzzzz...

QUINN: (Red-faced, frowns:) Oh, be quiet, Daria, or have you forgotten that we have a "pact"!? (Looks at her watch:) Oh! I'd better finish up my homework, then talk to Fiona! I told her that I'd check out her wardrobe to see what she's wearing for that "Jesse" guy! (Smiles at Darren:) Thanks again for seeing the movie with me, Darren.

DARREN: (Stands, smiles:) You're welcome, Quinn. (Quinn leaves. Darren turns to Daria, puzzled look:) "Buzzzz"? Haven't I heard you do that to her before, somewhere?

DARIA: I'm sure you have. I'll let you figure it out. (Pauses:) Hang on a sec, would you? (Walks over to the double doors, shuts and locks them, which causes Darren to frown, puzzled) I don't want us to be disturbed, you understand, for when I do this...

Before Darren could say another word, Daria quietly walked over to him, then her right hand suddenly slapped the left side of his face. It wasn't a hard slap like the one Sandi Griffin had given her mother several weeks ago, or what Millie Appleton had given Jim Morse later that same night. This was rather a gentle, but firm slap, which was designed to grab Darren's attention, and it did.

DARREN: (Stunned beyond words, hand on his cheek:) D-Daria? W-What--?

DARIA: (Stares up in his face, slight scowl, interrupts, even tone:) Shut up. Let me finish, and don't say a damn word, I mean it. Constance told me everything about your little ruse after it fell apart at the seams. (Darren turns pale) I was (puts index finger and thumb together very close:) this close to turning down the job and coming back here to verbally and quite possibly before I left, to physically kick your ass, and yes, I'd been able to do it because you're my brother, and you'd let me because you'd never lift a finger to stop me after I told you, since you'd feel guilty as hell, as well as you should. After Constance, whom you put on the spot to seemingly take the blame for your plan, practically begged me not to leave, I consulted the other teen writers, who had known of what you did through Mr. Juarez, someone else whom you put on the spot through Constance, told them. They weren't pleased, either, and one of the writers even wanted to come with me, and kick your ass, too. I held her off, telling her that I wanted to do the deed myself.

Darren took on a pained expression of embarassment at this, but kept silent. Daria examined him, and after a moment, continued.

DARIA: (Tone softens a bit, sighs:) However, I realized that despite your sneaky-ass, devious scheme, you meant well. (Darren cocks a slow eyebrow, shows an wary look) Yeah, I'm gonna keep the job, so you can relax. (Darren gives a look of relief) There were several reasons why I decided to do so. First, thanks to what Constance said, I realized that if I walked away, I'd allow my being related to you dictate a certain course in my life, maybe for the rest of it. (Darren drops an eyebrow) It would be bad enough that people are gonna think that I'm getting a break because of you, no matter what I do, so why in the hell should I care what they think, not like I ever did? Second, I found my calling in writing way before I ever met you. If my work ends up sucking eggs, then it's my screw up, and has nothing to do with you. Another reason is that Constance and Mr. Juarez decided to go along with my idea about teen self-esteem, with the full endorsement of the other writers, as the cover story of our first issue. More than likely, it was their way of apologizing to and placating me, but I'm not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth--(adds:) for fear that I'd smell the horse's assumed bad breath, and I sure as hell don't need that. (Darren lets out a cautious, brief chuckle)

There was a long pause, then Darren spoke in a quiet tone.

DARREN: Daria, I'm sorry. I thought I did it--

DARIA: (Interrupts:) --To "strenghten" me. Constance and I went over your experience in the company's stockroom when you were younger, and what you went through. (Pauses:) I accept your apology. (Hesitates:) I, um, share a little responsibility for what happened, anyway.

DARREN: (Dropped eyebrow:) What do you mean? What I did--

DARIA: (Interrupts:) --What you did was to reach out to me in your own albeit clandestine way after I froze you out twice last night. I might as well offer an apology of my own. (Pauses:) I--(turns red-faced, for it's obviously difficult for her to say what's next:) want us to become closer, so something like this doesn't happen again. (Thought v.o.: Yeah, right. Now, see if you can remember to do that with him over Krystal, and her "Sty Lark" crap, Morgendorffer...)

DARREN: (Taken aback at this for a moment, then slowly smiles:) I--sure, okay, Daria. I'd like that, too. (Daria shows a small smile, not quite Mona Lisa) I've learned my lesson, believe me. I don't want us to drift apart--(pauses:) not after we've been apart after almost twenty years. (Daria stays silent, shows a solemn expression, nods) (Pauses, small smile:) I felt guilty by the way, having second thoughts. Before watching this movie with Quinn, I decided to call Jane to tell her what I did.

DARIA: (Cocks an eyebrow:) Jane? What did she say?

DARREN: (Smirks:) What do you think? She verbally skinned me alive to tell you what I did, although she appreciated my "devilish deception" in getting you to take the job. (Daria returns the smirk) She wanted you to call her when you got in as well. (Pauses, adds:) I was going to tell you what I did before you "clobbered" me, in fact.

DARIA: (Now-sorrowful expression, red-faced:) Aw, hell. Uh, I guess I kinda got carried away there. Sorry. (Pauses, guilty expression:) Um, did I hit you hard?

DARREN: (Grins, rubs left cheek:) Nah. I'm fine. I deserved it. You are one tough young lady, Daria Morgendorffer. (Daria still looks guilty. Darren turns serious:) Daria, I'm okay. (Pauses, half-smile:) Really. (Daria looks relieved) Uh, there were several messages for you. One was from aunt Amy, who said you called her last night--?

DARIA: (Embarassed expression:) Um, yeah. (Pauses:) I want to explain about that--

DARREN: (Nods, interrupts:) --It's alright, I'm not angry or anything, Daria. You've known our aunt longer than you have me, and I can understand why you'd want to talk to her about the job. She was out of town with Joel, and they didn't come back until the early afternoon. Another call came from our genetically-shared parents, along with Tom, both on how the meeting went.

DARIA: Looks like I have a lot of calls to make. (Thought v.o.: And to the McKinnas, if they're home.) (Unlocks doors, starts to walk out of the room with Darren. Fiona enters the media room to clean it, walks by them:) I'm gonna take a quick nap like you two did, then take a quick shower after the calls. How about bowling a game or two afterwards?

DARREN: (Smiles:) Sure. Then maybe we can play a game or two of chess? I owe you for a few games.

DARIA: (Smirks:) You're on. (Pauses:) By the way, what was the deal with Elenor's crack over your belching the other night, about your not having done that for "years"--? Should be an interesting story.

DARREN: (Shrugs:) It's not that much to it. My dad and I used to sit at the table and have belching contests when I was little, which disgusted my mother, who promptly stopped both of us when I turned ten. (Grins, teasing tone:) However, the real interesting story to me should be about your little stint as a fashion editor for your high school newspaper in Highland--? (Daria's eyes go very wide)

DARIA: How in the hell did you fi--(narrows eyes, realizes:) Quinn.

DARREN: (Chuckles:) Now, now, sis. You two have a "pact", remember?

DARIA: A "pact" which only is in enforcement up here, and not at our home in Lawndale. I promise that Quinn will die a slow, agonizing death first thing when we get back. (Darren chuckles as the two go up the grand stairs) First, let me tell you about what else happened on my new job before you torture me with your questions...

**********

Epilog #1...

(Scene Twenty-One: The McKinna's study, about two hours later)

(A silver-haired, slightly heavy set, 50-ish man with a handlebar mustache, speaks on the study's phone. Beside the man, Krystal McKinna listens intently into the phone.)

MAN: (Sounding like one of those aristocratic fuddie-duddies:) Yes, Miss, our daughter was with us all the time while we were in Washington, D.C. that day. (Pauses:) No, she did not leave us at any time. (Pauses, slight frown:) Whom did my butler say you were again? (Pauses:) Ah, yes, a reporter for the Weekly Blabber, and you called to confirm a story about a scuffle in a nightclub involving my daughter. (Pauses, glances at Krystal:) Er, yes, she told me about it. (Pauses:) Well, I hate to disappoint you, but despite your best intentions, I really don't see a story in this. It didn't last long, and those animals got scared but good by my little girl. (Pauses:) You agree? Good. It looks as if I don't have to worry about suing your rag for libel. Goodbye. (Hangs up)

KRYSTAL: (Giggles, hug him, kisses him on the cheek:) Oh, Daddy! You were wonderful!

MR. McKINNA: (Smiles:) It was nothing, pumpkin! Anything for you! (Pauses, in a bit of a disbelieving tone:) And you say that was Darren's sister who called me?

KRYSTAL: (Nods:) Definitely, Daddy. Her voice was very dull and boring-sounding. (Slight scowl:) It was Daria Morgendorffer, alright. Like I told you last night, she wanted to catch me in a lie about something concerning our trip to Washington, and use it against me because she doesn't want me to be around Darren for some reason. ("Sad" look, "sighs":) I--I don't know why she doesn't like or trust me...

MR. McKINNA: (Deep frown:) Neither do I, pumpkin. Who couldn't like you? (Ponders:) Maybe I should call Darren, and tell him about that conniving sister of his--(starts to reach for phone)

KRYSTAL: (Alarmed:) --No! (Quickly calms down, puts her hand on her father's, pulls it gently away from the phone:) I mean, no, that's alright, Daddy. I don't want to put Darren in the middle of this. He's been through enough recently, don't you think? I really don't want him to know about this at all--(gives him her "puppy dog" look:) pleeease?

MR. McKINNA: (Pauses, considers, then smiles:) You're right, pumpkin. He has been through something, hasn't he? I know that you think highly of Darren like I do, (frowns:) but I won't stand for it if this "Daria" girl continues to give you a hard time--

KRYSTAL: (Chuckles, dismissive tone:) Don't worry, Daddy. I'll win over Daria by my considerable charms, you'll see.

MR. McKINNA: (Grins:) And I'm sure you will, sweetie. That's my girl. (Hugs her)

At that moment, a smirking Rory walked in, followed by a silver to brown-haired older woman. Krystal dropped a suspicious eyebrow at her brother as the woman began to speak in an inquisitive tone, crossing her arms.

WOMAN: (Glances at Mr. Mckinna, then at Krystal:) Clayton, Krystal, I overheard everything with Rory, by the way. (Krystal rolls her eyes) Krystal, why did you lie about what happened in Washington? You were barely with us at all, (narrows eyes:) you went on some sort of shopping trip in Baltimore, if I remember...

RORY: (Chimes in, smug tone:) And she didn't buy anything, either, Mom. (Krystal glares murderously at him)

MRS. McKINNA: (Droll tone, sighs:) Yes, Rory, I remember that, too.

CLAYTON: (Mild frown:) I don't see what the problem is, lambchop. I'm sure Krystal probably didn't find anything that interested her in Baltimore, that's all.

KRYSTAL: (Nods, smiles, jumps on his defense:) Exactly, Daddy.

MRS. McKINNA: (Not letting up:) Then why did you use your father to lie about your whereabouts to whom you believe to be Darren's sister? Surely you have nothing to hide, do you? (Rory fights like mad not to burst out laughing. Krystal keeps a cool look, though she sees him out of the corner of her eye)

KRYSTAL: (In a corner, decides to come clean, somewhat:) Alright, fine, Mom. I slipped off to that "Lawndale" place near Baltimore where Darren's birth family lives. I wanted to check them out myself, okay? I put on a wig, then asked around about them a little, and I went back to D.C. (Rory snorts to himself in disbelief) Now, before you say anything, Darren's my friend, and I didn't know these people, alright? I just wanted to see if they were after his money, or something.

CLAYTON: (Grins:) Ahh, a spy mission to check out Darren's birth family! That's my girl! (Squeezes her shoulder, which she returns. Rory mouths "Daddy's Girl" bitterly)

MRS. McKINNA: (Hands on hips, small frown:) Clayton! Don't encourage her! (Pauses:) Krystal, I'm proud that you care for Darren like that, but to go to that much of an extent and not to tell him seems to be a very sneaky thing to do! (Adds to Krystal's "Give me a break" glare:) Perhaps that's why this "Daria" girl went to her own extent to check out your motives. She may have seen through your disguise when you visited where she lived, and recognized you when you came to Darren's.

RORY: (Wild smirk:) Hey, yeah! Maybe that's why that DeA--I mean, Daria chick did that! (Through a mock-admonishing tome:) Tsk, tsk! For shaaame, sis! (Krystal glares at her brother through clenched teeth)

CLAYTON: On, come on, Cicily, Rory! Don't tell me that you believe Darren's sister over Krystal?

CICILY: (Shakes head slowly:) No, Clayton, I'm not saying anything one way or another. I just think that you should tell Darren what you did, Krystal. It's counterproductive to have you and your friend's sister at odds with one another, and Darren not knowing about it.

KRYSTAL: (Mildly annoyed tone:) Mom, I promise to eventually tell Darren, okay? ("Pleading" look:) Just let me do it in my own way--?

CICILY: (After a moment:) Alright, dear, but be sure to tell him, hmm?

KRYSTAL: (Nods:) I will. (Thought v.o.: Like, in a hundred years or so...)

CICILY: (Satisfied look:) Good.

CLAYTON: Now that this is settled, that reminds me, Krystal-- (frowns, more annoyed tone:) speaking of this "Lawndale" place, are you still going down there to see that "Trent" fellow with Darren in a few weeks?

KRYSTAL: (Having heard this before, sighs:) Yes, Daddy, I still am. I haven't changed my mind, if that's what you mean.

CLAYTON: (Narrows eyes:) That's exactly what I mean, pumpkin. I still think the boy's a bum-slash-slacker-slash-hippy, take your pick--

CICILY: (Warning tone:) Claaayton--

KRYSTAL: (Rolls eyes:) Are we having this conversation again? Daddy, I like Trent, period, and he's not a bum-slash-slacker-slash-hippy! He's a musician that's part of an underground alternative rock band--

RORY: (Sneers, interrupts:) --And is Jane Lane's brother, don't forget that--

KRYSTAL: (Glares at Rory, but continues:) --and he and his band are doing pretty well in their music, both artistically and financially! They're making their own money, so he's not bumming any off of me, if that's what your inferring--

CLAYTON: (Raises voice:) Dammit, pumpkin, it's more than that! You're staying under that boy's roof while visiting him--

CICILY: (Gasps:) Clayton!

KRYSTAL: (Raises her voice, ignores her mother:) --With his sister and mother, I told you that, and from what he's told me, any other family member that might suddenly come out of the woodwork! It's not like we're going to sleep in the same bed, or anything--

CICILY: Krystal! (Rory smirks, enjoying this)

CLAYTON: (Holds head, swoons:) Oh, great, like I didn't need that scene in my mind--

KRYSTAL: (Narrows eyes, crosses arms:) Then I suggest that you wipe that scene from your mind, Daddy. I'm a big girl, now. I told you that nothing's going to happen with Trent, and it won't.

CLAYTON: (Narrows his own eyes:) Now see here, Krystal! As long as you live under--

CICILY: (Interrupts, scowls:) --I hope you're going to say our roof, dear, because that'll mean I'll have some say in this as well.

CLAYTON: (Suddenly in a sweet tone:) Why of course that's what I mean, lambchop! I'm just saying--

CICILY: (Smirks, interrupts:) --That you want your daughter to have a good time, right? (Krystal shows a small smirk, knowing her mother. Rory simply shakes his head slowly, knowing her, too)

CLAYTON: (Puts hands up, in a placating tone, knows he's defeated, sighs:) Very well, Cicily. (Adds, looks down:) I just don't want to see our baby get hurt, that's all--

KRYSTAL: (Softens, small smile, pats his arm:) Don't worry, Daddy, I won't. You and Mom met Trent, and you know he's a very sweet guy. (Adds:) You've got to let me go, sometime, you know...

CLAYTON: (After a moment, nods, smiles:) Yeah, I know, pumpkin, I know. (Kisses her forehead. Rory shows a brief "gag me" motion)

CICILY: (Turns to, barely misses his motion, smiles:) Are you ready to go to Sean's so we can celebrate your newfound job, Rory? (Krystal narrows an eye at Rory)

RORY: (Caught off-guard:) Huh? Oh, yeah, Mom--

CLAYTON: (Very happy, slaps his son on the back, causing Rory to stumble forward a little:) My boy, finally showing some responsibility! We're all so proud of you! A "roving junior executive" for Bowman Industries, how about that?!

KRYSTAL: (Chimes in, slight smirk, sneers:) Yeah, how about that? Rory's grades aren't exactly anything to write home about at White Plains community college, and yet here he is suddenly with an almost six-figure job for a smear rag! How about that? (Rory shows her a stoic look)

CICILY: (Admonishing tone:) Krystal!

RORY: (Grins:) It's okay, Mom, and obviously my sister's forgotten that I don't work in Bowman's newspaper division, but it's business division. (Smug tone, look, to her:) Krystal can't help but to be a little envious of my new success, I'm sure--

KRYSTAL: (Laughs out:) Envious? Me? Of you? (Snorts:) You have got to be kidding, you dork--

CLAYTON: (Firm tone:) --That's enough, you two. Krystal, we're all going to celebrate Rory's new job, and have a good time at it.

CICILY: (Nods:) Your father's right, dear.

KRYSTAL: No prob, Daddy, Mom. You won't hear a peep out of me.

RORY: Or me, either, (looks off, lowers tone:) though I'm sure anybody dining there might raise a stink when they see me--

CICILY: (Pats his arm, smiles:) They won't, son. When everybody hears of your success, they'll treat you right. (Clayton nods)

KRYSTAL: (Thought v.o.: Or they'll all die suddenly from heart attacks because they'll be so stunned.)

As the McKinnas left the study, with Mr. and Mrs. McKinna leading, and Krystal and Rory following, Krystal leaned over to Rory, and spoke in a whisper.

KRYSTAL: You had mom listening to us, didn't you?

RORY: (Also whispering, smirks:) Of course. I knew you were going to call "Daddy Warbucks" after I told you about DeA--Daria's call, and I just had to include mummy. It was a no-brainer.

KRYSTAL: (Sneers:) And when it comes to no brains, you're the king, brother dear. (Rory scowls at her) You realize that you don't have that trip to D.C. over me anymore, don't you? I think I'll commence to kicking your ass after we get back, just for starters--

RORY: (Cool tone:) Nah, I don't think so. Darren still doesn't know about your little trip, and I'm willing to guess that you'll hope our mom will forget to inquire to you about it, which, knowing her, she probably will. I still have an edge.

KRYSTAL: (Pauses, ponders:) Hm. Touche, Rory--for now. Moving on to that job, who in the hell are you kidding? That's obviously a front for some new illegal activity, isn't it? (Snorts:) "Preston Smith". "Roving junior executive", my ass--

RORY: (Chuckles:) Hate to disappoint you, sis, but it's all legal.

KRYSTAL: (Wicked smirk:) We'll see, Rory--we'll see...(Rory glances over at her, mildly concerned expression as the two walk through the open front door held by their butler)

**********

Epilog #2...

(Scene Twenty-Two: Sandi Griffin's house, later that Saturday night)

Linda Griffin turned to her daughter and sons in the living room while her husband Tom went out the front door. Both were dressed to the hilt, with Tom wearing a black tuxedo, and Linda a stunning, blue, off-the-shoulder dress.

LINDA: (Cocks an eyebrow:) Now, I want you two to be nice to your sister while she babysits you, just as you've been to her this past week, do you both understand? (Sandi gives her brothers a quick, sidelong, suspicious glance)

CHRIS & SAM: (Smiling, nodding:) Sure, Mom! Okay, Mom!

LINDA: Sandi, I want to thank you again for staying here tonight to keep an eye out for your brothers. I know this was very difficult for you to do. (Sandi gives an indifferent shrug. Though she's privately disappointed in not having any dates recently, thanks to her brothers, she's resigned to it because she's having more time to study, anyway) Are you sure that you have the number of Milligan's restuarant?

SANDI: (Sighs, exasperated:) Like, for the fifth time, yes, I do, Mooother. (Slight smirk:) Now, why don't you go on before Father comes back, and drags you out?

LINDA: (Shows a genuine smile, chuckles:) Alright, I'm leaving! We'll be back around midnight, dear. Goodbye, everyone. (Leaves)

SANDI, CHRIS, & SAM: Goodbye, Mooother. Bye! Bye! (Sandi shuts door)

Almost immediately, Sam and Chris laid it on thick to their sister--nicely.

SAM: Do you want me to get you a diet soda, sis?

CHRIS: How about a foot massage?

SAM: I can make a light salad snack for you!

CHRIS: I'll dial any number you want so you can talk to your friends!

Sandi paused at all of these requests, looking up, smirking deviously.

SANDI: Hmmm, like, I want--(suddenly grabs her brothers by the collars, back slamming them into the floor:) TO KNOW WHAT YOU TWO BRATS ARE UP TO! YOU'VE NEVER BEEN THAT NICE TO ME BEFORE, AND FOR SO LONG! (Sam and Chris are terrified. Fluffy comes down the stairs to watch, seemingly amused) It's bad enough that you little cretins helped to ruin my social life, and now you're doing this?!

SAM: W-We're doing nothing, sis! Honest!

CHRIS: Yeah!

SANDI: (Dangerous look, and tone:) Do not insult my intelligence, do you understand?! (Sam and Chris become wide-eyed) Now, tell me why you're doing this, or I'll--I'll--(wicked smirk:) use you both to model a dress for me, put make-up on your faces, and take pictures to show you to everyone in your school!

SAM: AH! NO!

CHRIS: ANYTHING BUT THAT!

SANDI: (Satisfied look, narrows eyes:) Then tell me--why have you two been so nice to me this past week?

Sam and Chris looked miserably at each other, then Chris spoke.

CHRIS: (Looking as if he's actually about to cry:) Please, don't tell Quinn, sis!

SANDI: (Huge cocked eyebrow:) Quinn? What does she have to do with this?

SAM: C'mon, Sandi! Just promise that you won't tell Quinn! If she knew that we told you, she'd never be nice to us again!

SANDI: (Stares at them for an instant, hard sigh, snarls:) Fine! I promise not to say a damn thing to Quinn! Now, what does she have to do with the way you two are behaving?!

CHRIS: (Swallows hard:) Well, uh, she told us last week to be really nice to you and treat you right--

SAM: --'Cause you're basically our full-blooded sister, and stuff, and we should be there for you, like brothers and sisters are supposed to be! (Sandi looks stunned) She said that if we didn't from now on, that she'd be mean to us!

CHRIS: Y-Yeah, and we couldn't stand that!

Sandi simply looked up and stared forward in shock, as if she had been hit by a truck. Our talk last week. It all makes sense, now...

Sandi wordlessly stood up, and released her brothers, who stood up as well.

CHRIS: (Concerned look:) Sandi? Uh, are you okay?

SAM: (Ditto:) Yeah, you look pale, and stuff...

SANDI: (Snaps out of her shock:) I'm--fine, you two, and don't worry, I--won't say anything to Quinn about this. I promise.

Sam and Chris looked at each other, then both broke out in huge smiles. The next instant, they suddenly stunned Sandi (and Fluffy) by giving her a huge bearhug.

SAM: Thanks, sis!

CHRIS: Yeah, you're the best!

SANDI: (Clearly uncomfortable:) Yeah, yeah, sure, now will you two let me go?! (Both brothers do. Sandi sighs:) Chris, get me a diet soda. Sam, make me a tuna salad sandwhich.

SAM: You got it, Sandi! (Leaves)

CHRIS: One diet soda, coming up! (Is about to leave, but stops, turns to her:) Oh, and don't worry about getting dates, sis! Sam and me talked about the "shrink" thing, and we'll tell our friends that we made that stuff up, that we were just teasing you! They'll tell their big brothers, and everything will be all right for you again! We'll get that stuff straighted out, you'll see! (Leaves)

Sandi stared after him in shock for a moment, then slowly sat down on the sofa in a daze, where Fluffy leaped unto her lap. She held back a sob as she rubbed her cat's back.

SANDI: (Thought v.o.: Oh, Quinn, you wonderful idiot, you...)

**********

Epilog #3...

(Scene Twenty-Three: An unnamed small city, in an office, apparently Jim Morse's, since he's sitting at his desk, at the same moment. There's an average-looking man sitting in a chair in front of the desk)

MAN: I'm sorry, sir. There's nothing yet on your ex-wife, I'm afraid. It's as if she's vanished into thin air.

JIM: (Impatient tone, slams fist on his desk, which makes the man flinch:) Dammit, Wes, what in the hell am I paying you for? My ex-wife's not that good at hiding, is she?!

WES: Mr. Morse, your ex seems to be very adept at hiding. When you think about it, she's very wealthy, and can pay a pretty penny to some people to help hide her--

JIM: Yes, yes, but that bastard Edward's not rich, and he's eluding the police, isn't he?! (Frowns:) You have one more week to produce results, or you can bother not coming back to me, do you understand?!

WES: (Stands up quickly:) Yessir, I understand. I'm working on some leads. I'll call you Monday morning. Goodbye, sir. (Quickly leaves the office)

Jim scowled at the door, then turned in his seat, looking out over the nighttime skyline of the city.

JIM: (Thought v.o., as he bites his fist, leans back in his chair: Damn it, Millie, where in the hell are you? I wish Woo would change his damn mind, and help me...)

**********

Epilog #4...

(Scene Twenty-Four: An unknown tropical island, the next day)

Millie Appleton, dressed in light summer clothing, sat wordlessly in her small, bamboo-made room, staring at the table across from her, and what was on it, something that looked like a home pregnancy test. She appeared to look pale.

MILLIE: (Thought v.o.: It's positive. God help me, it's positive...)

**********

Epilog #5...

(Scene Twenty-Five: Somewhere in the city of Chicago, two days later)

Edward White, now clean-shaven, wide-eyed, out of breath, and sweaty, carefully looked down from the roof of a building. There were several police officers looking around below.

OFFICER #1: Dammit! He's got to be around here! Check out that dumpster, Crawford! Bealer, you look in that store over there! The rest of you fan out! He couldn't have gone far! (Runs off with the others)

Ducking back, Edward reached into his pants pocket, and took out his cellphone, immediately dialing. After a moment, the other side answered.

EDWARD: (Furious:) Bloody hell, Neilson! That tip on the Internet about Millie was false! (Pauses:) I almost got my ass caught by the damn police, that's what! Now they'll know that I'm trying to find her! (Pauses, frowns:) Don't you even think about trying to abandon me, do you hear?! (Grins:) Otherwise, someone's going to call with a tip to those investors who were screwed out on that stock deal! (Pauses, smirks:) I thought you'd see it my way. (Pauses:) Now, we'll have to be careful from now on...

**********

And Finally, Epilog #6...

(Scene Twenty-Six: Somewhere on the Chesapeake Bay, on a beach, a day later)

An elderly woman was crying in a elderly man's shoulder while a police officer was speaking to them. Nearby, two people from the forensics department were examining what appeared to be the remains of a body. All around, there were other police officers, who were keeping snoopers and eavedroppers far away from the scene. Behind the crowd, there were several newsvans from various local media outlets, with some reporters waiting for information from the authorities, and other reporters speaking to the cameras.

FEMALE POLICE OFFICER: (While writing in her pad:) --And you said you two come down here to walk the beach every morning, Mr. and Mrs. Fuller?

MR. FULLER: (While holding his wife, nods head:) That's right, officer. My wife and I do it for exercise. We're retired, you see, and want to keep in good shape in our later years. Anyway, we simply came upon--

MRS. FULLER: (Interrupts, wails, wretched look:) --That--that horrible scene! Oh, God, how terrible! (Buries her head back into her husband's shoulder, cries. The officer gives her a brief, sympathetic look, then continues to write in her pad)

The two forensics people, a man and a woman both wearing masks and gloves, bent down, and examined the now-seen ("edited" for you, the reader) body, which was badly decomposed--and missing the upper torso and part of the left leg, though the lower torso still had on pants.

WOMAN: (Disgusted look:) God, what a mess, huh? Must've been out in the ocean for about two months, plus, and the sharks probably had a bite or two off it, from the looks of it. This is even too gross for me.

MAN: (Shrugs:) Eh, believe it or not, I've seen worse. I wonder if there's any I.D. (Goes through the pockets of the pants, pulls out a very rotted and wet, wallet:) Well, whattaya know--(opens wallet, examines it. Eyes grow wide-open:) Damn!

WOMAN: (Raised eyebrows:) What? (Pauses:) Is it someone famous, or something?

MAN: Infamous is more like it! (Turns waterlogged and rotted driver's license to the woman, showing a surprisingly clear picture:) This is William Appleton!

**********

Whew! Well, the longest "Sidebar" so far is finally over--for now. Hope you enjoyed it! Look for "Return Engagement", my next fic of the DF Continuum, to come, though I don't know when, exactly.

Quick little post-scripts: I'm only guessing that Jane's slightly older than Daria from Quinn's voting crack, based on the episode "Speedtrapped", where Daria gets her driver's license, and soon has to drive to Fremont (with Quinn) to bail out Jane and Mystik Spiral. Jane is seen driving the van in the episode, meaning she had her driver's license before Daria. It's entirely possible that both Texas and (in this case for my fics) Maryland have different ages that teens can get their licenses, but I'm assuming the latter.

Speaking of Quinn's voting crack, the "Lawndale County" thingy comes from the episode "One J At A Time", on the sign, at the very end. The Daria Diaries lists "Carter County" as where Lawndale is. To, ah, "explain" the obvious inconsistancies, I dreamed up the quick little county name-change election story as the reason for this. Note: This will come up again in "Return Engagement".

If you didn't know, my fic's title is a pun on the movie title "Sister Act".

Daria's math homework crack is mildly derived from Kara Wild's DWU continuum, and is used with her permission, the same for the character Joel, Amy's beau. Thanks again for both references, Kara!

Daria's crack about the hidden room beside the meeting room comes from the episode "Malled", of course.

And that "Seven-Layer" salad during the dinner is a delicious dish of my mother's, which she makes on occasion. You might have heard of it. If you haven't, shame on you. ;D

My sincerest thanks to my beta-readers Galen Hardesty (a.k.a. the "Lawndale Stalker"), Scarlett, and of course, Robert Nowall, and Mistress Thea. I really appreciate it, guys.

Finished 9/21/03