Daria

in

Seeking Trent

Scene 1 - Daria’s room morning.

Quinn: (in cutesy nightwear) Daria your weird friend is on the phone and it’s interrupting my beauty sleep. Not that I need beauty sleep, but it is just rude. Not everyone is as blessed as I am with natural cuteness. I mean just look at you. You need all-

Daria: (cutting her off) For the love of god give me the damned phone and go back to bed.

Quinn: Fine here. (Exit Quinn)

Daria: Okay what’s up, and why are you?

Jane: (now split screen, Jane with her bed hair, biting her lip, looking worried) Is Trent there? Have you seen him lately?

Daria: Sure Jane he’s under my bed getting ready to pull a Freddy Kruger. Why what’s going on?

Jane: I haven’t seen him in almost a week.

Daria: Are you sure he’s not lost in the wastelands asleep? Or somewhere with the band.

Jane: I waded through his room three times and the guys are here cause he missed a gig last night. I’ve looked in every room and even checked the tent.

Daria: Have you tried his friends?

Jane: What friends? Between the band, sleep, and us he doesn’t have time for anything or anyone else.

Daria: What about Monique?

Jane: They’re broke up this week, but it’s worth a shot. I’ll call you right back

Daria: Okay bye.

Jane: (dials phone and waits a moment) Monique?

Monique: (now seen in the split screen) Yeah?

Jane: Hi this is Jane.

Monique: Who.

Jane: Jane Lane, you know, Trent’s sister. You haven’t seen him in the last week or so have you?

(We hear muffled voices and thumps and voices in the background)

Monique: I haven’t seen him since we broke up.

Jane: Your sure he hasn’t called or anything?

Monique: I haven’t seen or heard from him Joan.

Jane: That’s Jane.

Monique: Whatever. (She hangs up)

Jane: (looking at the phone) That was weird.

(She redials Daria who picks up on the first ring)

Daria: Well?

Jane: No go. Trent isn’t having a sweaty affair with his ex. She claims she hasn’t seen him.

Daria: Claims?

Jane: Yeah. She sounded rushed and a little weird ... even for Monique.

Daria: So what’s next? Interrogate the band?

Jane: It looks like that is my only option. If I go to the police and try to report a Lane as a missing person they’d laugh their collective arses off.

Daria: I’ll be right over.

(End scene 1)

Scene 2 - Lane basement morning.

(Daria enters the basement and takes in the scene; Max and Nick are sitting in a corner arguing over music, Jesse is asleep in on a bean bag chair, and Jane is positioning a desk lamp to shine in his face.)

Daria: (Deadpan) Should I go get the implements of torture?

Jane: Alas, he’s a member of Mystic Spiral, normal torture techniques just won’t work. They make themselves suffer whenever they practice.

Daria: Who said anything about normal torture?

(Daria pulls a piece of cake wrapped up on a plate and a plastic spork out of her backpack. Jane wakes Jesse as Daria unwraps the cake. )

Daria: (Holding the cake in front of Jesse) When was the last time you saw Trent, Jesse?

Jesse: It was last Monday and he stopped by to look for his songbook. (He reaches for the cake, but Daria pulls it back)

Jane: Did he say where he was going?

Jesse: He said he was gonna check with Max and see if he knew where he left it.

Daria: That’s the last time you saw him?

Jesse: Yeah.

Jane: (Takes the cake from Daria and hands it to Jesse) Okay you’re free to go eat your cake.

Jesse: Cool. (He takes his plate and wonders off)

Jane and Daria: (Look at each other and as one) Oh Max!

(A few minutes later, Max is now seated in a steel chair and we see the desk lamp is back in use and pointed in his eyes. Daria and Jane circle him obviously playing bad cop/bad cop and Max looks decidedly nervous.)

Daria: (Leaning in) Trent came to see you Monday didn’t he, Max?

Max: Ye-es, he was looking for his songbook, and -

Jane: (Interrupting) He came looking for the songbook you stole right, Max?

Max: (Really nervous now) No, no. I mean yeah he came over, but I didn’t have the book. He said he’d already tried the other guys, and he wanted to look in the tank. I told him to go ahead and look and I went back to my soap op- I mean my Jackie Chan movie.

Daria: A likely story.

Jane: Where were you on the night of June 21st of last year.

Max: I... we... you... uh.

(Max passes out)

Daria: I just hope the damn peanut butter smell is gone.

Jane: It wasn’t the last time I rode in it.

Daria: Damn! Oh well, to the Tank.

(End scene 2)

Scene 3 - The tank interior POV the side door.

(The door opens to reveal our heroes)

Jane: Ah the smell of ancient peanut butter in the morning.

Daria: I hate you Lane. Let’s get this damn thing over with. You take the back and I’ll take the front.

(They proceed to search the van)

Jane: Aha! Evidence.

Daria: What’d you find?

Jane: A long dark brown hair.

Daria: It’s probably mine, you twit.

Jane: No it’s not. It’s a darker brown with a blond root.

(They look at each other for a moment)

Jane: Monique!

(End scene 3)

Scene 4 - A hallway above a shop on Dega St.

(Daria and Jane stand in front of a brightly painted door)

Daria: Are you sure this is Monique’s place?

Jane: (Knocking on the door) Yeah I’m sure.

(We hear a thump and footsteps then the door is opened revealing Monique)

Monique: Jenn, hi what’s up?

Jane: That’s Jane, and I wanted to talk to you about Trent.

Monique: I told you I haven’t seen him.

Daria: Then it won’t hurt to you any to sit and have a conversation now will it?

Jane: Of course it won’t.

(Jane brushes past Monique and into a nicely decorated living room with several chairs and a big overstuffed couch. There are large potted plants on end tables on either side of the couch and nicely framed photos on the walls. An archway leads to the kitchen, two more doors lead from the living room. Both doors are closed)

Monique: (Hurries in after them and starts picking up papers and a few other things cluttering up the living room) Have a seat. I’ll just get you something to drink.

(She rushes into the kitchen without waiting for a reply. Jane and Daria look at each other for a moment then they have a seat on the couch)

Daria: That's all right.

(Monique is already gone to the kitchen. Daria and Jane look around the room. Daria has a thoughtful look on her face. They don’t really see anything out of place. Suddenly, Daria’s face gets a look of dawning realization, and she turns to Jane as if to speak; however, Monique returns with a tray.)

Monique: I hope herbal tea is okay.

(Daria and Jane both nod and take a cup)

Jane: Anyway, Like I was saying, we were looking for Trent. No one has seen him since Monday afternoon.

Daria: At least no one who will admit it.

(At this point Daria stands up leans over and points to a picture on the wall)

Daria: Is this you and the Harpies?

Monique: (Looking quite thrown) Yes, yes it is.

Daria: Did you ever leave the band?

Monique: I might one day, but I value loyalty.

Jane: Anyway, if behind the music is over, Trent is missing and his car’s gone. He may be flaky, but he’d never leave town without telling me first.

(Jane and Daria both start drinking their tea.)

Jane: (Seems more relaxed) So we were just wondering if maybe Trent had said or done anything that might give us a clue as to were he could be.

(Daria seems to be staring off into la-la land and Jane is not far behind both seem very sleepy, Jane even goes as far as to snuggle down into the sofa.)

Monique: Well June Like I said before I haven’t see or heard from him in quite a while.

Jane: (Almost asleep) That's Jane. (Daria’s already asleep and Jane closes her eyes and starts drifting off.)

(Monique sits watching them for a few moments and evil little smirk playing across her face. She stands and moves to the close door next to the kitchen she pulls a key from her pocket and opens the door.)

Monique: Now he’s all mine. (Pan from Monique around the room until the view stops on the bed. Here we see Trent lying on the bed his hands cuffed to the headboard. He’s wearing his typical slacker garb {So don’t get any ideas you pervs so says the perverted kettle calling the skillet black.})

(Monique: moves across the room to a desk with a computer on it. She sits down and logs in. After a few moments some one reading over her shoulder would see this: LUVSLAVES.com classifieds and bulletin board. Monique goes to the bulletin board)

Monique: (Talking to herself as she types) Now for some creative advertising to get rid of those two nosey brats. Hmm... How bout bespectacled brainy beauty and raven-haired artist, both for sale. Post your bids here before midnight tonight est. must be able to pick up in Lawndale.

Daria: Excuse me, but do you know, kidnapping, drugging, and slavery are all against the law? Unless of course you’re selling Quinn and her little fashion fiends to a Sheik from the Middle East.

Monique: (Shocked) What the hell are you doing awake?

Daria: You call me a brain and you think that I’m gonna drink some of your ’’herbal” tea after watching you run to the kitchen with Trent’s song book like all the hounds of hell were after you. Even Quinn wouldn’t be that stupid.

Monique: Your little friend was.

Daria: Jane hasn’t seen Trent’s songbook lately I have and I recognized it. And I poured your little herbal cocktail in to one of your plants when I looked at your picture. I couldn’t warn Jane but I knew you wouldn’t dare hurt Trent’s sister.

Monique: Ok, you didn’t drink the tea. So what? I’m still in control. (She starts to advance on Daria)

Daria: Oh you’re in control all right... (Looks at watch) For about ten more minutes. I called Lawndale’s finest.

Monique: (Panics for a moment then slowly starts to smile) Your lying I was online, your totally full of it.

Daria: You’d be amazed at technology today. (She holds up Helen’s cell phone.) These things just keep getting smaller and smaller.

(The cell phone rings.)

Daria: (Answering phone) No Eric, this is her daughter. She’s at home, call her there. No I can’t just take a message. (She hangs up the phone and resumes talking with Monique.) So how do you want to do this; spilling your guts in typical Scooby Doo fashion, or would you rather reveal your diabolical plan while you try to kill me, just like a Bond villain?

Monique: I just wanted to keep Trent, and I would have him, if it wasn’t for you, you nosy BITCH!

Daria: (Deadpan) Scooby-Doo it is then.

Monique: (ignoring her) I lost an earring in the tank, on the way home from a gig. I went to get it back and found Trent’s songbook. I just wanted to see what he had written about me, I hadn’t heard any thing new since he wrote ICEBOX WOMAN for me. But what do I see? He’s writing about someone else, some new muse who’s inspiring him. I couldn’t stand it. I took his damn book and left him a note in the tank, telling him to come and get it. A little ‘’herbal' tea and a set of cuffs, and he was mine. That is until his brat sister, Jean and her friend came looking into things that don’t concern them. (She suddenly rushes at Daria, who instinctively defends herself. Daria gets off a lucky punch, and Monique falls to the floor unconscious. )

Daria: Her names Jane you psycho BITCH.

(End Scene 4)

Scene 5 - A few day later, Daria and Jane on there way to school.

Jane: I can’t believe Trent slept through most of a kidnapping.

Daria: It must be a Lane thing, after all you slept through our gallant rescue.

Jane: Ha I’m not the one who sat back while Psycho Bitch slipped her friend a Mickey.

Daria: Look on the bright side, if your ever short on cash you now know how to knock me out and sell me to the highest bidder.

Jane: Speaking of which you want to know how much you’re going for these days?

Daria: What do you mean?

Jane: Trent knew Monique’s password, apparently she talks to herself while surfing, so I logged on last night just to see what we’re worth.

Daria: And?

Jane: Well I’m now the property of some guy who goes by CrazyNutso. As bad as that sounds though he claimed he only wanted me for my artistic abilities. He wanted me to do drawings for his web site.

Daria: So who should I be bowing and scrapping before?

Jane: You’re not going to believe it, but who ever bought you is from Lawndale. He bid over a thousand dollars and said he’d go as high as it takes. Guess what his screen name was?

Daria: Gee I don’t know. Was it Rumplstiltskin?

Jane: No. he went by the screen name Feisty1_4chas

Daria: (FACE FAULTS) EEP!

(Daria and Jane look at each other and shudder)

Jane: You should have hit the Bitch harder.

THE END

Author's notes: The story you just read is my first finished attempt at fan fiction in any form. The story is mine; the characters belong to MTV. Any constructive criticism can be sent to thea_zara@yahoo.com