---

DeMartino
ARRGK...GAAAAAGH!! Why couldn't I have been born during an influenza epidemic?!! Or at the base of a volcano?!! Why did I survive, grow tall, and strong, only to squander all of my potential, by becoming a TEACHER?!! WRAAAGH!!

Daria
When he would've been such a wonderful motivational speaker.

--"Is It Fall Yet?"

---

Helen
You keep hiding your real face behind that anti-social mask, and one day that mask will be your face. I'm not going to let that happen. You're working at that camp.

--"Is It Fall Yet?"

---

DeMartino
Well. well, Josh. What have we here? A football player. May I inquire why?

Josh
My child within wants to be a winner. Everyone knows football players are winners.

DeMartino
I see. Obviously your definition of a winner is a degenerate slacker,with pigskin for brains, and unshakeable desire to sleep through class, and a lifetime goal of aceling at arm noise contests, while NEVER, EVER, doing any honest work of any kind. Is that right?!

--"Is It Fall Yet?"

---

David Sorenson
Steinback was perhaps best known for his poignant novel about the "Okies..."

Tiffany
Uhhh, huuuuuh.

David Sorenson
(Realizing she isn't paying attention)
..A heavy metal band famous for having a baboon on bass.

Tiffany
Uhhh, huuuuuh.

Tiffany
(David grabs her make-up mirror)
Uhh,..why did you do that?

David Sorenson
Because I'm not here to watch you put on make up.

Tiffany
Buuut, I don't mind.

--"Is It Fall Yet?"

---

Jane
(to Daria) Any kid who looks to you for nurturing is more than just lost.

--"Is It Fall Yet?"

---

Li
(Over the P.A.) Welcome back students. And remember, the school nurse is in, and ready to take your voluntary urine samples. Show your Lawndale High spirit with the gift of urine.

Fashion Club
Ewwww!

--"Is It Fall Yet?"