---

Bobby Big-Head
Where you girls been all our lives?

Daria
Waiting here for you. We were born in this room. We grew up in this room, and we thought we would die here alone. But now you're arrived and our lives can truly begin.

--"The Invitation"

---

Quinn
How will I hold my head up in the Fashion Club?

Daria
A traction pulley?

--"Malled"

---

Jake
A hundred miles, to go to a mall? There's a mall 5 minutes away!

Helen
Sit down dear, we're not going.

Jake
OOOOh. Oh.

Quinn
It's not a mall, it's a super mall! The Mall of the Millennium. Shop there forever!

Daria
If you play that John Lennon song backwards, it says, "Imagine all the people, browsing in a mall." Isn't that weird?

--"Malled"

---

Kevin
Seventy one bottles of beer! If one of those bottles should happen to fall...

Brittany
Babe? That's a really cute song and all, but do you think you could stop for awhile?

Kevin
Sorry babe. We always sing that song on the team bus. Makes us fierce!

Brittany
You're not on the team bus now. I'm not your team mate. I'm your girlfriend! We talked about the difference, remember?

Kevin
Sorry...

Brittany
Would you rather do what we do? With your teammates?

Kevin
Blah!

Brittany
All right then.

--"Malled"

---

Man
And of course, when you go to the mall, you look for what?

Upchuck
Bikinis! Make that lovely, luscious, ladies in bikinis!

Kevin
Yeah... (Brittany hits him) Ow!

Upchuck
Grrrr! Fiesty!

Jane
I always look for security guards leading away somebody in handcuffs. Shoplifters are the best judges of merchandise.

--"Malled"

---

Jane
Traffic patterns at the food concession.

Daria
I've noticed a pattern. People walk in looking hungry.

Jane
And leave, stuffing their face.

Daria
Assignment completed.

Jane
Now for extra credit, let's experience the traffic patterns for ourselves.

--"Malled"

---

Romonica
Now when you stride down the runway, you are walking towards your car. You've spotted a headless corpse in it...and it's brand new car!

Daria
And a smelly old corpse.

Jane
In a really bad outfit.

--"This Year's Model"

---

Quinn
Ahem. A model's what I'd like to be. Looking good comes naturally.
Da da, da da, da da...me.

--"This Year's Model"

---

DeMartino
(on Jonestown)
What lesson can we take from this TRAGIC example of HERD-like behavior? Kevin?

Kevin Uh...BYOB?

--"Pinch Sitter"

---

Jane
Oh, Daria, don't be shy. Show me your boobs. (looks in the box) Hmm...why did I think this would be more interesting?

--"Too Cute"

---

Daria
All right, let's not get panicked. We're going to look at the situation calmly and objectively. Agreed?

Quinn
Okay.

Daria
We're out in the middle of nowhere, no one knows we're here, we have no way to contact the outside world, and our parents have gone insane.

Quinn
Yes.

Daria
This is really scary Quinn.

Quinn
But why did they go insane?

Daria
Knowing Dad and his excellent woodland skills, I'd say it was the berries. Except...

Quinn
It couldn't have been the berries.

Daria
That's what I think. You ate them too and you seem okay.

Quinn
No, I meant because those weren't the glitter berries.

Daria
Glitter berries?

Quinn
You know, the glitter berries! The ones that fill your mouth with beautiful sparkling glitter when you bite into them. Those are the ones that make you act weird. I mean until you spread your shimmering wings and fly away.

Daria
Uh-oh.

--"The Teachings Of Don Jake"