Season Two
Jodie
Try taking your head out of your butt for once and opening up your myopic little eyes. Or doesn't your 165 IQ make you smart enough to see the way you really are?
--"Gifted"
Sandi
Oh, look, Quinn. She's wearing sandals like yours. Is this a rerun?
Quinn
I don't think so. Can I get you a diet soda?
Sandi
No, thanks. But help yourself to the grapes. I hear they're good for breakouts.
--"Gifted"
Jane
Yeah, the band's going over to Cluster Burger. You're not going to act like a complete nitwit, are you?
Daria
Define complete. Um, I just need to go to the bathroom.
Jane
Good idea. Check your lack of makeup.
--"Ill"
Jane
Ooh-la-la! Doctor, I have a pain.
Daria
Please. The man is a butcher. Look what he's done to my face.
--"Ill"
Calvin
Hey, Quinn. I just came by to pick up my little brother from story hour. I didn't know you were a reader.
Quinn
Um, hi, Calvin. I'm not actually...
Calvin
That's really cool. I mean, you're popular; you don't have to volunteer.
Quinn
Oh, well, you know, I get back more than I give. I mean, the children appreciate it so. (to Daria) Uh, librarian... could you return these magazines for me? Thanks a bunch, dear. So, where are you guys headed now? (leaves with Calvin)
Daria
(Reading magazine cover)
"Thin Thighs For Your Man." (to herself , out loud) But I don't like men with thin thighs.
--"See Jane Run"
Trent
Hey, Daria.
Daria
Trent? What are you doing here?
Trent
I came to support Janey. (beat) They're power-scrubbing my room again. Anyway, this running stuff means alot to her.
Daria
Uh-huh.
Trent
What she's doing takes guts. All that practicing, day in, day out.
Daria
Yeah.
Trent
And what for? So a crowd of drunks can make your art the backdrop to their pathetic mating dance? They don't care about your dream. They just want something loud going on so they don't have to talk.
Daria
Um, we're not discussing Jane anymore, are we?
(Ms. Morris blows whistle, runners begin running, with Jane out in front)
Mack
Hey, Jane's good.
Jodie
She's great!
Daria
(flatly) Go, go, kick butt.
--"See Jane Run"
Daria
(out loud, to herself)
Oh, they're eating dinner. Should I sit down and join them or fake a headache? (to family) I'm not feeling too well. I think I'll eat later. (leaves)
Quinn
Oh, boy, cuckoo girl's at it again.
--"See Jane Run"
Jane
(closes locker, sees crowd gathered)
Um... I'll bring the spikes back tomorrow. Honest.
Ms. Morris
Jane, I wish you would consider coming back to the team.
Jane
Thanks, but I stand by my decision.
Ms. Morris
Jane, I wish you would consider coming back to the team.
Jane
Am I missing something?
Ms. Morris
The team needs you, and you need the team... if you don't want to be here taking math again this summer.
Jane
Gee, that almost sounds like blackmail. Fortunately, I can pull up my math grade on my own.
Ms. Morris
Then I'll flunk you.
Jane
Why don't I go to Ms. Li and expose this grade-changing arrangement?
Ms. Morris
She already knows.
Jane
Okay, then, back off or I'll tell the P.T.A.
Ms. Morris
They know, too.
Jane
Congress?
Ms. Morris
You're beaten, Lane.
Jane
Ok, how about if I call the three local TV stations and tell each one that the other two are running the story?
Ms. Morris
Damn. (crowd leaves)
--"See Jane Run"
Axl
You'd look nice with a lip ring.
Daria
Are you going to let him talk to me that way?
--"Pierce Me"
Trent
I know what would be cool. Little silver hoop.
(points at Daria's navel; Daria blushes)
Axl
Yeah, okay. A navel ring works. It's a start, at least.
Daria
(blushing furiously)
I am not going to pierce my belly button. It never did anything to me.
--"Pierce Me"
Mr. O'Neill
So, what Gardner is telling us is that the writer of fiction has a duty that goes beyond the mere telling of a story. His or her job is to tell a story in such a way as to leave the reader... what, Kevin?
Kevin
Screaming for more full-contact martial arts excitement?
Mr. O'Neill
Daria?
Daria
I believe Mr. Gardner feels it's the writer's duty to steer the reader toward more conscientious behavior. No matter how dull that makes the story.
Mr. O'Neill
(sighs) Very good, Daria. Now, keeping that in mind, I want you each to select a book from the list in front of you for a report on its moral intention. (Kevin raises hand) Yes, Kevin?
Kevin
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I got one, babe. I got one! (O'Neill starts sobbing)
--"Write Where It Hurts"
Jane
So, how's the story coming? Or does it disturb you if I talk while you're writing?
Daria
It would disturb me if I were actually doing any writing.
Jane
What's the problem? Take people you know and have them do whatever you want. I'd make them crawl, I tell you. Crawl!!
Daria
Easy, tiger.
--"Write Where It Hurts"
DeMartino
Do you, KEVIN, assume legal responsibility for this OVERRIPE specimen of FEMALE-hood standing next to you? The one in WHITE, son!
--"Write Where It Hurts"
Helen
Daria, the easiest thing in the world for you is being honest about what you observe.
Daria
And...
Helen
What's hard for you is being honest about your wishes. About the way you think things should be, not the way they are. You gloss over it with a cynical joke and nobody finds out what you really believe in.
Daria
Aha! So my evil plan is working.
--"Write Where It Hurts"
