Season Four
Brittany
Jodie, Mr. Thompson and I are not speaking, so do you want to do the economics project with me?
Jodie
Aw, gee, Brittany, I wish I could, but I promised Daria I'd do it with her.
Brittany
Oh... well, um, how about you, Jane?
Jane
You want to do a class project with me?
Brittany
Well, not really, but I mean, you're right here and all.
Jane
Oh, Brittany, you sweet-talker, you.
--"Partner's Complaint"
Brittany
What do you think of this? We could plan a wedding. That sounds dreamy.
Jane
I guess we could say you're marrying your high-school sweetheart and I'm just there for moral support.
Brittany
Oh, no! I'm not marrying that jerk!
Jane
No, you're not actually...
Brittany
I'll tell you what. We'll tell them my high-school sweetheart begged and begged me to marry him, but I finally had enough of all his immature behavior and went off to the Bahamas to be alone and think, and I met a wonderful, young stablehand named Andre, and the minute we looked into each others' eyes we knew it had to be, because anyone who knows that much about horses would certainly know a lot about women.
Jane
(pause)
You want to go get some pizza?
--"Partner's Complaint"
Brittany
Well, that's nice -- a boyfriend and a girlfriend getting a slice together out of mutual respect. I would ask you to sit down, but as you can see, I'm here with my friend Jane, who respects my intelligence.
Jane
(to Daria)
She's embellishing a little.
--"Partner's Complaint"
Helen
I came in to ask you to rinse off your dishes before you put them in the dishwasher. Your father found a cheese fry melted onto his "World's Greatest Dad" cup and he thought it was some kind of rodent. Now he's sworn off coffee.
Daria
Then I should be hearing from the Nobel committee any day now.
--"Partner's Complaint"
Jane
So then, Brittany says to this Wally guy (imitating Brittany) "Did they have football when you went to high school?"
Daria
This is what I get for putting down your Tom stories.
Jane
Hey, I've still got a bunch of those you haven't heard.
--"Partner's Complaint"
Quinn
Look, can you please stop talking to me? If the Fashion Club sees this I'll be like one of those baby birds that gets put back in the nest but the mother knows it's been touched by a human and pecks it to death, understand?
Daria
Sure. You're a birdbrain.
--"Antisocial Climbers"
Kevin
Hey, I don't need to follow rules. I'm rebellant.
Daria
Did he say 'repellant'?
Jane
It seems like he should have, doesn't it.
--"A Tree Grows In Lawndale"
Daria
Gee, this won't end badly.
Jane
You know, we are the ones who told him to get a motorcycle.
Daria
Hey, if we told him to drive off a cliff, would he do that too?
Jane
I don't know. We'll have to try that next time.
--"A Tree Grows In Lawndale"
Jane
(echoing from airvent)
I'd rather remember the tree, than remember Tommy Sherman.
Daria
Hey, that's not nice. You wouldn't like that if you were... (echoing from airvent) ... Tommy Sherman.
Jane
I wouldn't like anything if I were Tommy Sherman. (echoing from airvent) If I were Tommy Sherman, I'd be dead.
--"A Tree Grows In Lawndale"
Brittany
(chanting)
Zippity doo-dah, zippity-ay. Make Tommy's spirit go far, far away.
--"A Tree Grows In Lawndale"
DeMartino
Well, EXCUSE ME if I didn't see the SIGN on the door that said 'Girl's EXERCISM Room'!
--"A Tree Grows In Lawndale"
Daria
Mr. O'Neill.
O'Neill
Oh. Daria. You startled me. I guess all this talk about ghosts, and exorcism has really put me a little on edge.
Jane
Hey, wanna see me twist my head around and around and around?
--"A Tree Grows In Lawndale"
Kevin
And that's how I saved countless youth children as a walking safety don't . And when kids are about to do something dangerous, they go 'Hey, I don't wanna do this. I wanna be like that cool safety guy.'
Brittany
He'd be such a wonderful father.
Daria
Of a coconut.
--"A Tree Grows In Lawndale"
Cheerleaders
We're not losers! We're not losers! We're not losers! Lawndale Rules!
Jane
Brittany worked all week writing that.
Tom
It shows. The reiteration -- powerful.
Daria
Like getting hit in the head repeatedly with a sock full of quarters.
--"A Tree Grows In Lawndale"
Upchuck
(from the LHS stadium pressbox)
Praise the lord! He landed on his head!
Daria
This is a day of miracles.
--"A Tree Grows In Lawndale"
Mr. DeMartino
Forgive me my suspicions, but it's obvious that someone, Kevin, got a hold of the test beforehand, Kevin, which would account for the jimmied lock on my filing cabinet, Kevin!!
Daria
But who does he really suspect?
Jane
That 'Jimmy' guy?
--"Murder She Snored"
Brittany
Wow! This is just like Cinderella!
Daria
Yes. And you've turned into two pumpkins.
--"Murder She Snored"
O'Neill
I was especially intrigued by his notion of planting the seeds of tomorrow in the students of today.
Barch
If he tried that around any of my students, they'd be the LAST DAMN SEEDS HE EVER PLANTED!!!
--"The F Word"
O'Neill
Gosh, Anthony, this is marvelous. It's nice to see our students enthusiastic and excited.
DeMartino
Instead of the way we usually see them, wishing FERVENTLY for our DEATHS!!
--"The F Word"
Daria
Damn hydrocephalic skull repicas.
--"The F Word"
Jodie
I failed to convince my mother and father to let me have the summer off.
O'Neill
Excellent. And see, you learned that failure isn't so bad now, is it?
Jodie
No, I learned that my parents would rather I drop dead from exhaustion than miss the opportunity to shred some bribe-taking congressman's incriminating phone bills.
Daria
At least she's learning a marketable skill.
--"The F Word"
Jane
Cheer, cheer, cheer. Yell, yell, yell. Who cares who wins? We're all going to Hell. (smirks) If my 'peppy' doesn't work for you, I could always try my 'perky.'
--"The F Word"
Angie
Great. Now what're we gonna do?
Jodie
You could let Brittany back on the squad.
Nicky
But she's always talking about the starving referees and stuff.
--"The F Word"
Brittany
Babe, you wouldn't believe the cheerleader who auditioned yesterday. She got scared and lost all her bouncity-bounce.
Daria
(overhearing)
You had bouncity-bounce?
Jane
Drop it, or I'll have to kill you.
Daria
I'm taking Quinn to the Teen Fashion Extraveganza tomorrow. What makes you think I don't want you to kill me?
--"The F Word"
Daria
I can't believe we're doing this. And aren't teacher's addresses confidential?
Jane
Not when you've got the web. Actually I just looked it up in the phone book, but ‘the web’ sounds so cool.
--"The F Word"
Jane
You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. That's what Ms. Li's for.
--"The F Word"
Clerk
Can I help you dear?
Daria
No. I just came to enjoy your re-enactment of the Fall of Saigon.
--"I Loathe A Parade"
Daria
That's it. When the candy reaches escape velocity, it's time to leave.
--"I Loathe A Parade"
Tom
Maybe we could hop a float. We could see more people that way, and more people could see us.
Daria
One, I don't hop floats. Two, I don't hop.
--"I Loathe A Parade"
Tad
You don't respect other species’ rights.
Sandi
Shove it, veggie boy! (Attacks Tad with hair spray)
--"I Loathe A Parade"
Brittany
The lions can't be beat. They're landing on their feet. They're the best team on our street. Or lots of other streets.
--"I Loathe A Parade"
Tom
Wow. It's like the Hindenberg.
Daria
Oh, the lack of humanity.
--"I Loathe A Parade"
Sandi
The same people have been staring at us for too long.
Tiffany
It's like looking into the sun. It's, like, really pretty, but if you do it for too long, you get wrinkles.
--"I Loathe A Parade"
Terry Barry Barlow
What do you think you're doing?
Daria
Refusing to have anything to do with an unmanegable bag of hot air. Or his balloon.
--"Of Human Bonding"
Daria
I see. We're being graded on our family life. Gee, look at the time. 1984 already.
--"Psycho Therapy"
Daria
Don't pick your nose. Don't pick your nose.
--"Psycho Therapy"
Johansen
You'll pay for this.
DeMartino
Hah! I'm a teacher Try to collect! (maniacal laughter)
--"Mart Of Darkness"
Jane
Shallow graves for shallow people.
--"Legends Of The Mall"
Jane
Hey, the car broke down in front of that house.
Daria
Not asking.
Jane
The haunted house.
Daria
Not encouraging in any way.
Jane
The house of bad grades.
Daria
Why do I not bother?
--"Legends Of The Mall"
Jane
Scoff if you will, but every kid who has ever lived in that house is working minimum wage jobs to this day. What do you say to that?
Daria
Scoff.
--"Legends Of The Mall"
Quinn
Ewww! You're not going to eat all that fat, are you?
Daria
No. I'm going to stick it in my boots, 'cuz I love the squishy, squishy feeling 'round my toes.
--"Fire!"
