Oh, he buys and resells white babies!
He chainsawed his real family!

He's drunk goat's blood and he'll do it again!
And often will bite the head right off a hen!

Heeeeee's Evil Tom! Evil Tom!
Evil evil evil Tom!
Evil Tom! Evil Tom!
Evil evil evil Tom!

He'll bury you alive six feet underground!
His head can twist around and around!

He's set fire to numerous U.S. flags!
And calls everyone he meets a "god damn fag."

Cuz he's Evil Tom! Evil Tom!
Evil evil evil Tom!
Evil Tom! Evil Tom!
Evil evil evil Tom!

He's destroyed the happy lives of Dar' and Jane!
He loves to go out and feast on human brain!

So don't leave your kids alone at night!
Cuz out there is a really scary fright!

Naaaaaaamed Evil Tom! Evil Tom!
Evil evil evil Tom!
Evil Tom! Evil Tom!
Evil evil evil Tom!

Evil Tom! Evil Tom!
Evil evil evil Tooooooooooom!...

If you're smart you'll hate him too!

---

Hey, Kemical Reaxion here with a few words about this song. There was (and still is) an ongoing debate on the Paperpusher's Message Board about whether or not Tom is "evil." The arguement had become pretty silly and got out of hand, so when John whipped up this little song for us and posted it, I about fell out of my chair laughing! It was hilarious and pretty much summed up the ridiculousness of the whole arguement. This song was not meant to be taken seriously, so don't email me (or John) detailing all the reasons why you feel Tom is or is not evil. I don't really wanna hear it. Hope you enjoyed it. Big thanks to John for allowing me to post this!