"I cannot tell a lie. You are Hatchet City, man."
Personification of Washington's Birthday.
Together with Lincoln's Birthday, Washington takes over Holiday High in the absence of Christmas and Halloween. He and Lincoln terrorize the students with the help of Veteran's Day.
The Presidents lose their place at the top of the heap when Christmas and Halloween show up and take over again as the most popular kids in school. He redeems himself to a certain extent when he becomes harpsichord player for the Holidays band.
(If none of this seems to make any sense, blame the writers.)