"It's not what you put into the cookies - it's what you put *into* the cookies. Know what I mean?"

No last name given. Old man in a hick town near Camp Grizzly.

Trent and Jane run into Earl and his wife Barbara while Trent is searching for inspiration out in the sticks. The man offers homemade cookies to Trent and Jane, and intrigues putting a part of himself into the cookies. He seems completely oblivious to Jane's barbs at his expense.

Earl invites them to try his "perfect" potato chip, which turns out to be completely flavorless - the idea is to taste only the dip. When he shows them his bottled water (which is actually tap water in a bottle) Trent reaches the conclusion Jane had from moment one - these people are daft. It's not a total waste, however, as Trent comes up with some decent lyrics based on the pointless lives of Earl and his wife:

"Your cookies are lame!
Your chips are the same!
You get no respect,
'Cause you're not what you claim!"


First Appearance: Camp Fear