"You saw it first on Sick, Sad World. Alien love goddesses are depriving Americans of their skins and their jobs!"

No name given. A woman with upswept hair and an enthusiastic voice who reports the sickest and saddest news around on a show that makes the Weekly World News look respectable.

Her scoops to date have included a blind and deaf old man who conducted affairs with three members of the royal family, the UFO convention scene, a supermodel selling encyclopedias, a yeti carrying a leather attaché case, a woman who was left on an eight-lane highway tied to a chair during rush hour, and an expert on alien invaders (in a follow-up story, she interviews Artie who describes the "Alien Love Goddesses" who look strikingly like Daria and Jane).


First Appearance: Esteemsters