"Fired again? Man, this happens all the time! Ever since my encounter with those darn aliens!"

A pimple-faced dweeb who is convinced that aliens have abducted him and are just waiting for the right moment to come back for more.

Artie's primary personality trait is paranoia, followed by cluelessness. He frequents UFO conventions and is always ready to talk to reporters about his experiences with alien invaders.

He eventually secures a job as a pizza delivery boy, apparently one in a long string of jobs that he keeps losing due to his alien paranoia. He delivers a pizza to Daria and Jane, who ask him if he's seen anything strange. This immediately activates his fears and he spends a good part of the rest of the evening explaining his alien theories to the girls and Trent. He spends so much time doing this that he is fired again.

His main hypothesis deals with aliens stealing the skin of unsuspecting victims and replacing it with a synthetic. They do this so they can experience what we feel. Artie claims that this has already happened to him, and eventually goes on Sick, Sad World and names Daria and Jane as the Alien Space Babes.

At some point, Artie must have gotten his job back, as he serves a pizza to Daria and Jane at the Pizza King (he fails to recognize them as the Alien Space Babes). As this occurs during the time that Kevin is injured and Lawndale High's football team is suffering for it, Artie points out that Daria and Jane would be considered losers if they went to Lawndale High. This is a good indication that Artie himself does not go to school there - it is unknown where he does attend school.


First Appearance: Esteemsters