"I'm the QB!"

Quarterback of the Lawndale Lions, and probably the greatest idiot Lawndale has ever known.

Kevin goes through his high school career in a happily clueless way, irritating people left and right without ever realizing it. He has yet to give a correct answer in any class, despite repeated attempts (by DeMartino in particular) to elicit one. One assumes he must be an awfully good quarterback, and in fact, the teams performance suffers tremendously when he isn't there.

Although he goes steady with Brittany, the head cheerleader, he has a wandering eye and is not above cheating on her a little, or a lot for that matter. Somehow, they always get back together no matter how severe the transgression on either side. It's noteworthy that he is the only male student in Lawndale who seems immune to Quinn's charms. He has a problem with flatulence when he and Brittany are making out.

He worships Tommy Sherman, a former Lawndale QB. When they actually meet, Tommy Sherman treats Kevin with utter contempt, insulting and belittling him to such an extent that even a dullard like Kevin notices (Tommy dies shortly thereafter). Kevin still holds Tommy in high esteem.

Kevin always wears his football uniform, complete with pads, and often carries a football around as well. His room is decorated with sports memorabilia, football posters, and a carpet marked like a football field. He even has a mirror labeled "MVP"

His favorite song is "100 bottles of beer on the wall". He also enjoys Ratboy comic books.

Kevin once got into a "rebel" mode, complete with leather jacket and a fairly pathetic-looking moped. While showing off for his friends, he ran into the Tommy Sherman Memorial Tree and injured his knee. This caused a major identity crisis for Kevin, leading him to question his value as someone who couldn't be the QB anymore. He even went so far as to abandon his football pads and break up with Brittany. He was able to find a new identity for a short while by speaking to elementary school kids about the importance of safety and how cool it is to be the QB. This doesn't help the team, however, nor does it get Brittany back for him. He finally realizes that he needs his babe, and returns to football, thus restoring Lawndale's honor.

Kevin and Brittany worked as lifeguards at a local pool for the summer before their senior year. Their job performance left a lot to be desired. They were fired after an excessively amorous demonstration of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, and ended up taking over Mack's job as an ice cream man.

His best friend is Mack, whom Kevin continually refers to as "Mack Daddy" despite Mack's equally continuous insistence that he stop.  Kevin also calls him "bro" which is met with less resistance.

Kevin flunked his senior year of high school and was thus unable to follow his classmates on to college. He asked Brittany to wait for him, and she promised to do so, but kept her fingers crossed.


First Appearance: Esteemsters